Chapter 17
No matter how much I scrubbed, the blood persisted, spattered atop the years-old herbal stains marking my cream blouse. I couldn’t tell where the hibiscus ended, and his blood began.
With a groan, I tossed the blouse aside and slumped against the chipped cabinets. The cold wood seeped into me. Our apartment was quiet, and I prayed Osta wouldn’t be home anytime soon.
My mind was still reeling, warring with the emotional whiplash that the General had unleashed upon me just hours ago.
The memory was a fresh wound. I hated him.
For his manipulation. For turning me into a pawn in his twisted games.
Trust? He’d demanded it, drenched in blood.
Did he think killing that guard would earn mine?
The man thought murder was a reward ? The absurdity churned my stomach. He was delusional, lost in his own warped world. Was this the fate of the Guard? Did they all become numb to the act of taking a life?
But it was worse than that. What the General did was a deceptive kind of slaughter, reeling the guard in and making him feel comfortable, only to plunge a sword straight into his heart. A hint of the predator I’d always known lurking beneath the surface.
The creaking of a door cut through my thoughts, and I bolted from the floor, sidestepping to block the pink soapy bucket that filled the sink.
“Fia?” Osta said, rounding the corner. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me, eyes going wide.
“What happened to you?” She yelped, dropping her garment bags and rushing over to me. She pulled at the tangles in my hair.
Not tangles. Dried blood.
“I–I’m okay,” I said, gently pulling her hand down from my hair. “It’s not my blood.” Her eyes darted between the tips of my hair and my face before finally falling on the bucket behind me.
“Whose blood is this?” She whispered, clawing me from my blockade and peering into the sink. “Did you… Did you hurt someone, Fia?”
I opened my mouth to respond but could only muster a small shake of my head.
“No,” finally broke from my lips.
Osta tugged me over to our worn-in couch and forced me to sit. Only golden light from a flickering candle on the table lit the room.
“I’ll be right back. Stay here.” She gave me a stern look before rushing to her room.
Moments later, she was crawling back onto the couch with a cup of water and a hair pick, “I’m going to try to get this… blood out.” She swallowed hard as she spoke. “Tell me what happened.”
“The General,” I choked out. There was so much she didn’t know, but my mind was still racing.
“This is General Ashford’s blood?” Her hand suddenly ripped through my hair with the pick. “Sorry,” she murmured, returning to her gentle, yet shaky strokes.
“No. He came to the Apothecary as Ma and I were closing up. He said he wanted to try something new.” I gulped, taking a deep breath.
“A part of me wishes I never told him that emotions triggered my focus. I should have known he would take advantage of that. I’m an idiot.
” My voice was more confident now, tinged with irritation as I recalled the memory.
“You’re scaring me, Fia. Whose blood is this?”
I could nearly feel her trembling despite her attempts to seem strong and collected. The tiny breaks in her voice were a dead giveaway.
“He brought me to the training gym, and when I opened the door… the guard from the dam was there.”
Her hand stopped, and I felt her arms drop to her side. I turned to face her. Her lashes blinked rapidly, seemingly holding back the mist in her eyes, but her mouth was calm, nearly unreadable.
“ The guard?” was all she asked.
“ The guard,” I repeated.
My hands found hers. We were both shaking.
We never talked about what happened at the river.
It was too painful in the aftermath of the funerals, but then too much time passed, and it became a secret we both kept locked in our minds.
Whenever I tried to broach it with her, she quickly diverted the subject.
“He’s dead?” She asked, staring into my eyes with a foreign intensity.
“Yes.”
Osta took a deep breath and tucked her hair behind her ears.
“How did it happen?” She asked.
“General Ashford had a new idea, as I said before,” I began, getting comfortable on the couch. She needed to hear it all. Every single detail. We both deserved that.
I spent the next hour explaining what had transpired earlier that night. How I had discovered my focus, found its access point, unleashed it, and reeled it back without killing the guard, just for the General to plunge a sword into his chest.
Osta was speechless once I finished .
We stayed in that quiet moment for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, her shoulders slumped.
“I’m glad he’s dead.” Her voice was just above a whisper, but something in her tone surprised me more than her words.
Relief.
“How do you feel?” She asked.
“I don’t know. It’s complicated,” I murmured. I wasn’t sure yet if I wanted to tell her everything his death made me feel. I didn’t even know what any of it meant or what was even real. How to separate the shock from genuine emotions.
I wouldn’t shed a single tear over the man’s death, but a hollow emptiness gnawed at me where a sense of justice should have been.
The General had slain the person who killed our friends and brought so much pain into our lives, but what would his death serve?
They wouldn’t string him up above the Compound to make an example of him.
No one would know the crime he committed.
Or why he died. Nothing would change for the Riftborne.
I shifted, pressing further into the sinking couch, and wrapped my arms around myself. When I watched the life drain from his eyes, something terrifying sparked within me. As much as I hated to admit it, a dark part of me felt satisfaction. Maybe even revelry in his death.
Was it already happening? Was I becoming one of them? Would I soon be able to kill with cold efficiency, my actions devoid of remorse or hesitation?
“So the General killed one of his own… for you?” Osta asked quietly. She pulled her legs onto the couch, tucking her feet behind her.
“I won’t speak to his reasoning. The man is clearly mad,” I murmured, shifting on the couch.
“But Fia, do you realize how big of a deal this is?” Her eyes narrowed on me as she grabbed my hand.
“Osta, I think you’re the one reading too much into it.
Ashford is unhinged. He didn’t do any of it for me.
He manipulated me into going with him tonight so he could force my focus out, and once I decided to show that guard the mercy he never showed Riftborne, the General killed him in cold blood right in front of me. Nothing about him makes sense.”
“Maybe it doesn't make sense, but one thing is glaringly obvious. I don’t think you’re understanding the weight of the situation.” Osta swallowed hard. “A General in the Sídhe Guard used an officer in the Sídhe Guard to bait you, and then… seemingly… killed him as punishment for his actions.”
“We don’t know why he killed him.” I shook my head.
“Perhaps he is a mad man. I don’t know him. All I know is what he risked by doing that. It has to have a deeper meaning…” Osta trailed off. Silence overcame the room.
Osta leaned in, shifting her weight on the couch. Even in the dim light, I could see the unusual seriousness in her eyes. She cleared her throat before speaking.
“I know this is going to sound crazy. It’s just this gut feeling I have… but… I think you can trust him, Fia.”
The General had an air of excitement about him at our next training session. I’d received a note at work, telling me to meet him at our regular spot. It was irritating to hear from him at all, but at least he hadn’t shown up in person again.
He was clearly satisfied with himself despite my near trauma. It prickled my annoyance, but I let it slide off. There was no use in pointing out the obvious. He knew what he had done.
If he didn’t want to talk about the murder he committed mere steps from me, I’d bite my tongue. I just wanted to get through this session. So, for the first time since we began this journey together, I followed his lead to the best of my ability.
We sat as we normally did, facing each other, but there was a noticeable heaviness in the room that neither of us would acknowledge.
He stared deeply at me, a slight smile playing on his lips. I assumed it was an act of encouragement, but I was already calming myself, trying to clear my mind. Plus, ignoring him felt oddly satisfying.
I closed my eyes and directed my attention to the base of my spine, where the web had originated the other night, but visualization didn’t come as easily this time.
My brow furrowed as I forced concentration, angling myself to try to physically coerce the tendrils. I leaned forwards, backwards, to the side. But they stayed locked in the depths of my spine. It seemed that without heightened circumstances, my focus would continue its game of evasion.
Three hours in, I felt a tingling in the right place. I sent all of my attention to that exact area, attempting to pull the power out by sheer will. A translucent haze fluttered into my mind, a small glimpse of the web. But as soon as it emerged, it descended back down, disappearing from sight.
It was stubborn. Like it had a mind of its own.
“I can see it, but I can’t get it to cooperate just yet.” I bit the inside of my lip.
“That’s a lot further than we were last week,” he stated.
His gaze lingered on me for only a moment before he stood, stretching. “I’d say that’s enough progress for today.”
I wrung out my strained muscles, feeling heavy and tense after such a long time seated. My eyes were killing me, and I felt the pulses of a headache creeping in.
“I guess. I was hoping for more.” A breathless sigh escaped me as I realized the long road ahead. Perhaps our individual sessions would last longer than I previously imagined.
A silence fell over the room as I collected my things. Thoughts of the last session nudged at the corners of my mind. I couldn’t hold back anymore. The words were going to tumble out unwillingly, clumsily if I didn’t take control in this moment and just get it out in the open.
“What you did to me wasn’t right,” I whispered.
I felt his weight shift from across the room.
The tension was palpable, but my nerves wouldn’t let me look in his direction.
A silence spilled across the entire gym; I thought I might just drown in it if he didn’t answer soon.
This was the first time I had shown weakness.
The first time I had ever shown any vulnerability.
“I know,” he said silently. I snapped my head in his direction.
What?
“It seemed like the only way forward.” He sat down slowly, running a hand through his shimmering copper hair.
“So you intended for me to kill him?” I asked, taking a step towards him and arching my brow.
“It would have mattered little, whether it was you or me. He wasn’t leaving that room alive. I certainly wondered if you would take the opportunity,” he murmured. “But I understand it was a difficult situation for you.”
Was that empathy ? Was it even possible?
The stone-cold exterior he usually wore faded away, leaving something new in its place. But just as quickly as it surfaced, realization washed over him, and the walls came right back up. I could nearly see them being constructed around him.
“The Guard can bring out the most difficult parts of your soul. It’s best you learn that early on.” He straightened his posture and brushed the wrinkles from his black shirt.
“What happens now?” I asked, leaning against the wall. Was I sworn to secrecy? Would it be common knowledge that the man was murdered? Would he lie about the circumstances? Every last bit of this situation felt draining, but Ashford looked calm and collected.
“Don’t concern yourself with the details. It’s handled.” A few seconds passed, and I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off .
“And now there is just the matter of the ball,” he said, changing the subject. A coy smile played at his lips.
I couldn’t fully register his words. I had seen a glimpse of something within him, but today clearly wouldn’t be the day for a full revelation. General Laryk Ashford was back in full glory.
Wait. The Tribute Ball? Confusion washed over me. I was certainly not the person to discuss such topics with.
“I didn’t realize you were also a party planner. I’m afraid I won’t be much help with that, but best of luck.” I turned back to my things, still unsure about how the conversation diverted so quickly.
“Fia.” He halted me with an exasperated look. “You are going to need to make an appearance.”
“Excuse me?” My eyes widened.
“You’ll be joining the Guard soon. It’s important to start making connections.”
“Be that as it may, I don’t remember agreeing to join you at any of these elitist soirees,” I replied as I turned towards the door. He thought I was going to appease him now ?
He was quick to block my path.
“The agreement we have is contingent upon you doing as I advise–and that includes the elitist soirees you’re referring to. They build camaraderie.”
I scoffed.
The General crossed his arms and stared at me in contemplation. “You would deny Osta the audience of the Sídhe Nobility?”
“Osta?”
“Of course. I assumed she would accompany you. I can even introduce her to some of the noble houses if she’d like.”
Anger pulsed through me. He had a habit of using Osta as a bargaining chip.
I raised a brow. “And why would you do that?”
“So you don’t want me to provide her with numerous potential career opportunities? You’re not the friend I thought you were.” He shook his head, mischief playing at the corners of his eyes.
“I was going to ask how you knew so much about Osta, but then I remembered your habit of stalking.” My eyes shot to the back of my head, realizing that further argument would be futile.
He smirked, not even trying to hide his satisfaction. “I’m looking forward to seeing you both this weekend.”
I left the gym with thoughts that continued to churn. The man had a way of twisting my impulses into absolute whiplash. I didn’t know how to feel. But I knew one thing for certain.
Osta was going to lose it when I told her the news.