Chapter 21
Osta was certainly taking advantage of my newfound free time. She convinced me to join her in the park for a morning walk before work, insisting that I clear my mind. That was her way of putting it, at least.
What she really wanted was to shake off the bad mood that had been plaguing me for a week. So, we walked along the furthest path, avoiding the crowded center. I looked down as a frog jumped from a lily pad into a small pond.
“Still no word from the General?” Osta asked over her shoulder.
“Of course not.” I scowled.
Nearly the entire Guard had been dispatched to Stormshire, following some undisclosed incident near the border.
“I’m at the mercy of his schedule. Whatever that may be.”
Laryk hadn’t found it necessary to inform me about the disruption to our training. That only became apparent when I arrived at the gym a few days earlier and found it empty.
“I’m sure he’ll return soon. And he’ll probably have wanted you to practice in his absence.” Osta tsked, running her fingers over the tips of fringed tulips. Ever since the ball, Laryk could do no wrong in her eyes. Which was infuriating.
“Well, then he should have left me some correspondence,” I mumbled, kicking a stray rock across the dirt path. Truthfully, I had been practicing on my own, but hadn’t seen much progress, which was one of the reasons for my sour state.
Osta hummed to herself.
“And the studio. Has Thearna pulled the stick out of her ass yet?” I asked, nudging Osta’s arm.
“I don’t think she could even if she tried,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.
Osta had been in a constant state of euphoria ever since the ball, and it seemed that tension had flared up at the studio in response.
Thearna’s absence from the guest list appeared to be a source of contention.
And Osta was never the best at hiding her excitement.
I could see it so clearly in my mind–the vessels in Thearna’s neck pulsing with every word Osta muttered about the event.
“I know she’s threatened by me. But instead of ignoring my suggestions, perhaps she should listen to me more,” She cooed, examining her nails. Thearna’s anger seemed only further inflamed by Osta’s newfound boldness.
She had yet to hear from any of the Nobility that Laryk introduced her to, but it didn’t come as too much of a surprise.
Everyone was far more concerned with the sudden absence of the Guard.
Osta was confident that one of the ladies would offer her a job.
I just hoped she wouldn’t push Thearna off the edge before that happened.
“I suppose this is where we part ways,” I said reluctantly as we reached one of the arched gateways of the park.
Osta shared my sentiments with a pout. “See you tonight. Wish me luck.”
“I may need to keep the little luck I have for myself.”
Things with Ma were… back to their normal intensity, or lack th ereof. Now that she knew I had continued my training with the Guard, we simply didn’t speak.
I spent the morning grinding capsaicin. The dried chilies we extracted it from were brutal to work with. My eyes had been stinging and watery all day. Even though I knew better, I couldn’t help but feel that it was a form of punishment.
I sifted the powder into a brewing sachet and dropped the it into a cauldron that was already heating infusion oils, watching as the red powder began to bleed out into the shimmering liquid.
The front door chimed, cutting through my thoughts. I looked up to Ma, who was filling vials with an amber liquid.
“I’ll go,” I said, giving her a small smile before heading to the front of the shop and untying my apron.
“How can I help you?” I asked as I rounded the corner.
“How charming.” The voice sent my heart racing.
My eyes shot up to see Laryk leaning over the front desk, an amused smile on his lips. My eyes widened momentarily, taking in the tight leather uniform he was wearing. The sight wasn’t terrible…
I shook my head and replaced my shock with narrowed eyes.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered, rushing towards him. My head snapped back, making sure Ma hadn’t followed me to the front.
We seemed to be alone, at least for now.
“Well, that’s not a very polite welcome.” He stood straight, arching an eyebrow.
“I’m very busy at the moment.” My scowl deepened. If Ma saw him here…
He reached towards me, pulling a leaf from my hair. I yanked myself back as he smirked.
“I see you left the more pleasant version of yourself at the ball,” he mused, inspecting the leaf.
“I guess so.”
“Pity.” He sighed, looking me over. It felt like he was undressing me with his eyes.
Heat flushed my cheeks, but I calmed myself, trying to release the scowl from my face. I needed him to leave as quickly as possible. The easiest way would be to pacify him.
“General Ashford, please tell me what you want so that I can get back to work.” It didn’t come off as neutral as I intended. He paused for a moment, a curious glint flickering across his eyes before he blinked and diverted his sight towards the exit.
“Our sessions will be the same as always. But, due to increased tension at the border, your group training will be starting sooner than anticipated. Tomorrow, actually. Because of the strained timing, you won’t be getting a formal induction ceremony. Apologies,” he said, his voice flat.
“ Tomorrow? ” I snapped. “And you waited until now to tell me this?”
“I only returned this morning from Stormshire. I had no way of letting you know before now. Not that it should matter. It’s tomorrow, so you will be there tomorrow. ”
He crossed his arms, meeting my gaze with intensity. My blood simmered. He had some nerve showing up here after disappearing with no warning.
“And if I don’t?” It slipped out. I wanted to wince, but I was committed to the defiance.
He stepped towards me, narrowing his eyes. I fought the urge to back away. Laryk quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me close. I wasn’t sure exactly when his name had changed to Laryk in my mind…
“I’m done playing these little games with you,” he whispered. “After tomorrow, you will be an official recruit of the Guard, and you will have to show respect. Not only to me, but to all of your superiors. Do you understand?”
Pulling free of his grip, I backed away, anticipating the rage I would find on his face. But a peculiar expression was all that stared back at me. His eyes were softer, almost concerned.
Almost… worried.
I wrinkled my brow.He looked away and ran his hand through his hair before inhaling sharply.
“I didn’t come here to argue. I’ll have your uniform delivered to your flat later tonight.”
A part of me wanted to protest, to find fault in every word he muttered.
To fight against his demands. But that part of me was weighed down by a truth that I’d kept hidden, even from myself.
As much as I wanted to distrust him, as much as I had trained myself to read the deception within his words, he had not done anything to harm me.
Not truly. Not in a way that I would have ever imagined of a Sídhe General.
He had threatened me, inconvenienced me in every way imaginable, even pushed me beyond limits I never thought I could cross. But in the end, those tactics had only made me better. Only made me stronger.
Even if he had gone about it in a way that infuriated me, a way that made me want to claw my own eyes out. Trusting him was stupid, and I wouldn’t. Not fully.
But enough.
He strode towards the door without looking back. With another chime, he was gone.
I sighed, turning around. Ma stepped out from the hallway, crossing her arms and shaking her head. She looked disgusted.
“How can you go along with this?” Her voice was deep. I didn’t know how much of that she had seen. I couldn’t imagine how it looked…
“I provoked that, Ma. He pissed me off and I couldn’t hold my tongue.” I walked past her, heading to my cauldron. She followed me to the back. Her footsteps seemed to echo through the room.
“You’re going to get yourself killed, Fia!” She snapped. I spun around with wide eyes. She had never yelled at me like that before. My breath caught in my throat.
“I need you to trust me, Ma. I know you don’t understand, and you probably never will. But at least trust me .” My eyes were pleading.
“I do trust you, Fia. I don’t trust them . Half of them would probably find enjoyment in your death! You know this.” Her voice cracked.
“Ma, I’m doing this. I just need you to accept it. I can take care of myself. Please try to understand. I can’t lose you.”
“I don’t know if I can do that, Fia. I can’t watch you walk off to your death willingly.” She sniffled, wiping her eyes with her sleeve, “You know better. You know what it would do to me if something happened to you.”
Words wouldn’t come, but tears settled in the corners of my eyes and threatened to overflow. This conversation was never going to change. I sighed and began stirring the cauldron again.
I felt Ma's eyes on me for a few more moments before she returned to her desk and slouched in her chair. It was silent again.
Perhaps this time, that was for the best.