22
Later that evening, I’m lying in my bed gazing at the ceiling and feeling extremely naked underneath the duvet, and, for the first time in a very long time, there’s a man lying next to me, equally bereft of clothing.
But surprisingly, to me at least, I don’t feel worried or regretful. I just feel… happy.
‘Well, that was a surprising turn of events this evening.’ Adam is turned towards me, his bent arm supporting his head while his elbow rests on the pillow.
I glance up at him and see a kind and concerned face looking down at me. I smile at him. ‘It certainly was. A rather nice surprise, though, don’t you think?’
‘Absolutely! How do you feel about it?’ he asks a little hesitantly. ‘Honestly?’
‘Honestly… I feel completely fine.’
‘No regrets?’
‘No, none at all. Why, do you?’
‘Of course not. I just didn’t think you were that into me, that’s why I ask. It all came as a bit of a shock when you kissed me.’
‘It was a bit of a shock for me too. I don’t usually behave like that.’
Adam smiles. ‘I’ll take that as a huge compliment, then. So, what changed?’ He slides down onto the pillow so he’s level with me.
‘I really don’t know. Something just came over me, and, well, you saw what happened next.’
‘I sure did.’ Adam grins. ‘I had a ringside seat!’
‘Aw… stop. You’re embarrassing me.’
‘You’re so cute.’
‘Am I?’
‘Yeah, I love that you’re all coy now and I adore it when you blush. You go pink just here.’ He leans forward and lightly kisses my cheek. I close my eyes at the touch of his lips. ‘And here…’ he says in a whisper, about to kiss my other cheek. But something makes me pull away before he does.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asks, as I try to do that thing they do in movies when the woman elegantly pulls a sheet around her as she leaves the bed to hide her modesty.
Except I have an extra-thick, king-sized duvet, half of which is over Adam right now.
So instead I simply end up naked at the side of the bed, while the duvet remains firmly covering Adam’s modesty instead.
I quickly reach for the blanket that hangs over the back of my dressing-table chair and wrap that around me instead.
‘Nothing is wrong. I just need the loo, that’s all.’
I hurry to the en-suite bathroom, drop the blanket and sit down on the toilet seat to think. A wave of uncertainty has suddenly washed over me.
Oh God, what have I done? Has sleeping with Adam messed everything up? I bury my face in my hands . But it isn’t like Adam is doing his best to leave immediately, is it? He seems quite happy about the situation. In fact, he seems very keen to stay…
A vision of Adam lying naked under the duvet floats back into my mind.
His muscular chest covered in just the right amount of hair.
His kind blue eyes that twinkled like sapphires when he was enjoying himself.
His dishevelled dark hair that he has a habit of running his fingers through, making my stomach do silly things when he did.
The stubble on his square jaw that I felt gently brush against my face and my body when he kissed me with his incredibly soft lips…
I shake my head. Right, stop that right now! You’re getting distracted. You need to think clearly about this.
It feels like there’s a little white angel on one shoulder and a little red devil on the other having a rather heated argument.
The angel speaks now. Getting into a relationship with Adam is asking for trouble. He works next door to you. If you break up, it will be really awkward, not just for you, but for everyone else on Clockmaker Court too.
The devil pipes up. You aren’t even in a relationship. You’ve just had a one-night stand – a little bit of fun. And it was really good fun, wasn’t it? Why don’t you go back through that door for some more… It’s been a while, Eve, and he is really handsome…
‘Enough!’ I hear myself saying out loud this time and I immediately clap my hand over my mouth.
‘Are you all right in there, Eve?’ Adam calls from the bedroom.
‘Yes, yes, I’m fine.’
‘Would you like me to leave?’ he asks now.
This time I don’t have to think. I jump up, forgetting I don’t have the blanket around me any more, and pull open the door.
‘No, I don’t want you to leave.’
Adam looks me up and down and smiles. ‘You don’t know how pleased I am right now that you said that.’
When we finally extract ourselves from the bedroom, it’s too late to order any food, so instead Adam insists on making me cheese on toast. Which he does extremely well.
‘This is lovely, thank you,’ I tell him as we sit together on the sofa.
I’m now wearing the very unsexy items of pyjama bottoms and a T-shirt, and Adam has pulled his jeans and shirt back on.
But his shirt is only half buttoned up, leaving the incredibly arousing view of his rather lovely chest partially on view, and I have to keep averting my eyes to prevent a repeat of before happening.
‘I’m glad you like it. Do you want to talk about what happened earlier?’
‘Which particular time?’ I ask, grinning.
Adam raises his eyebrows suggestively. ‘I actually meant what happened when you rushed to the toilet. That wasn’t just because you needed to pee, right?’
Adam said he could read me like a book.
‘No, it wasn’t just that. I panicked.’
‘Why?’
‘It’s been a while since I’ve been in that situation with a man,’ I answer honestly. ‘And I wasn’t sure what I wanted.’
‘I think you made that pretty clear when you came back to the bedroom!’
‘Funny. No, I mean… look, I just overthought everything, that’s all. I’m fine now.’ I take another comforting bite of my cheese on toast.
‘I don’t make a habit of one-night stands, if that’s what you were wondering?’ Adam says. ‘Maybe in the past that suited me. But not now. As I said earlier, tonight completely surprised me. But I’m glad it happened – really I am. Clearly I find you attractive, that goes without saying.’
I feel myself beginning to blush once more.
‘But I didn’t want to act on it before, because I didn’t think you felt the same way.’
‘I didn’t know how I felt until this evening. Actually, no, maybe it was earlier today when we were having our breakfast in the shop.’ I think again. ‘Or maybe even earlier than that. I thought we might have had a moment last night when we were down in the office together.’
‘You felt that too, then?’ Adam asks. ‘Over the negatives?’
‘Yes, exactly then. I mean, clearly you are a very attractive man. I’ve known that from the moment I met you.’
Adam smiles. ‘You didn’t let on.’
‘Because you were also very annoying back then too,’ I say, grinning. ‘And full of yourself.’
‘Steady,’ Adam says, but he’s still smiling. ‘Don’t ruin it.’
‘I don’t want to ruin anything,’ I say. ‘I feel like I’m living in a very strange fairy tale right now with everything that’s been going on, and like in all good fairy tales, I’ve just kissed the handsome prince!’
Adam grins. ‘I’m pleased I got cast in that role in your fairy tale. A while ago you’d have cast me as a troll or a gremlin, or something equally as annoying.’
‘Nah, I wouldn’t do that. Maybe an ugly sister …?’ I grin at him.
‘I knew it was too good to be true,’ Adam says ruefully. ‘I should have quit while I was ahead. Talking of fairy tales, I couldn’t help but notice your collection of children’s books up in your bedroom when I was getting dressed. Some of those editions look quite old.’
‘You’re not having them to sell in your shop if that’s what you’re thinking!’ I say, still joking with him. I’m really enjoying being with Adam tonight, not just when we were upstairs but now, simply sitting on the sofa with him eating toast and having a laugh.
‘As if. Have you collected them over time?’
‘Some of them. But most were my grandmother’s. She used to read them to me and my sister when we were younger and we came to visit her and my grandfather.’
‘That’s nice. Happy memories?’
‘Of course. I loved coming here to Cambridge to visit them.’
‘Did you live far away?’
‘Brighton.’
Adam nods, but still presses on with his questions. ‘Big family other than your sister?’
‘No, not really.’ I can feel myself beginning to close up as I always do when my family is mentioned.
Like a turtle retreating into its shell for protection when it senses danger, my instinct is to immediately hide away from this difficult subject.
But at the same time, I also want to confide in Adam as he confided in me yesterday.
‘There was only my mum, my dad, my sister and me,’ I say, remaining out of my shell for a tad longer than usual. ‘We were very close.’
Adam nods. ‘You were lucky. I didn’t have any brothers or sisters to be close with. It was just Mum and me. I was never that close to my father when he was actually around. But I’m sensing you don’t like discussing your family too much – am I right?’
I nod. ‘Sorry, I know you’ve shared a lot with me, but I just find it really difficult.’
‘That’s OK. I understand. It takes time.’ Adam looks around the room for something else to talk about. ‘So, of those children’s books upstairs, what’s your favourite?’ He’s deftly changed the subject and I’m grateful to him.
‘Hmm… good question,’ I say, relieved. ‘I don’t know… I was always quite keen on Enid Blyton as a child.’
‘Lashings of ginger beer and all that!’ Adam says, smiling. ‘Yes, I remember them fondly too. I used to read them with my mother.’
‘What was your favourite to read with her?’
‘You’ll laugh,’ Adam says, looking a little sheepish.
‘No, I won’t.’
‘It was The Hundred and One Dalmatians . I loved it. I remember asking my mother constantly if we could have a Dalmatian dog after that. I used to watch the Disney movie, too, on repeat. That was in the days of VHS, of course, and it was changed to 101 Dalmatians . Why they thought the original title wasn’t good enough, I’m not sure … Eve, what’s wrong?
I blink at Adam as my mind spins.
‘My grandmother had a copy of that book too,’ I reply slowly, my brow furrowing as I remember.
‘But she wouldn’t let me look at it for some reason.
It always sat up on a high shelf, annoyingly just out of my reach – which was odd because both my grandparents always let me touch stuff.
I helped out in their antiques shop, for goodness’ sake, so they knew I could be trusted with delicate things. ’
‘Why didn’t your grandmother hide the book away if she didn’t want you to touch it? It seems a bit harsh to have something on display teasing you like that if she didn’t want you to read it.’
‘Unless she wanted me to know it was there – to be aware of it so I’d remember it.’
‘Like my grandfather did with the painting from his study. He was always pointing that out to me for some reason too. But why would they do that?’
My brain races. ‘There has to be a reason why both these things were made known to us. We know why the painting was now, but why the book …?’ This is so frustrating.
I just can’t put my finger on the answer …
‘Oh, my God!’ I stand up, just catching my plate in time before the toast crumbs go everywhere.
I shake my head. ‘No … it can’t be …’ I stare blankly in front of me.
‘What can’t be?’ Adam asks. ‘What are you talking about, Eve?’
I turn and look at Adam. ‘I think we might have found our missing book.’
‘What missing book?’
‘The books with the hidden notes inside. The books with titles numbered one to twelve?’ I say to remind him. ‘We’re still missing eleven, aren’t we?’
‘Yes?’ Adam says, not understanding.
‘ The Hundred and One Dalmatians , Adam. Or more commonly known these days as 101 . That’s two ones …’
‘But I don’t have a copy of that book any more and neither did my grandfather. I know what I put in my children’s section in the shop and Dodie Smith was definitely not one of the authors.’
‘You might not have a copy of it,’ I say, smiling triumphantly. ‘But I do …’