Chapter 1 #2
We had our final piece of closure a few months ago, when she came back into town to visit her parents.
I ran into her at Brewed Awakening one morning, and we sat and talked.
She was doing really well, and she was happy in New York.
My heart cracked when she mentioned she was dating someone, but I was happy for her. She deserved it.
“I know it’s hard, Drea, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. It will get better, though, I promise. Things happen for a reason, and you did the right thing for both of you.” She smiled and rested her hand on my shoulder.
“You know, that’s the same thing I told Fallon when she first met you, and look where you two ended up. I’m doing fine, though, really. I knew we had an expiration date. I just wasn’t expecting it to end the way it did, but I’m enjoying the single life and trying to mend a broken heart.”
She sat back and got a dreamy look on her face at the mention of her fiancée.
“I’m so thankful she listened to your advice.
I cannot imagine where I would have been if things turned out differently.
But seriously, Drea, I don’t think you are okay.
You’ve been enjoying the single life a little too much. ”
What was that supposed to mean? “What are you talking about?” I frowned.
She glared at me. “You know what I’m talking about.
The drinking, sleeping with different women almost every night, being late to work, if you show up at all.
That is not you. Well, the sleeping around is, but you would kick Kaia’s ass, and most definitely Fallon’s, if either one of them pulled some shit like that.
I know people grieve in different ways, but the way you are going about it is not healthy, Dre. ”
“Sex is in fact extremely healthy, Kenz. Look it up.” I was in the best shape of my life, and my mood had been pretty peppy these days. Maybe not like it used to be, but still something.
“Drea, be serious for a second. You know I am never one to talk down on having sex. Next to Fallon, sex is like my favorite thing in life. Especially sex with Fallon, I mean you saw, she can really—”
“Get on with it, please,” I cut in, desperately trying to avoid the topic of my best friend’s sex life. I loved the details from Fallon’s side, but I really did not need to hear about how freaky my best friend could get. She was like my sister.
“Interrupting is rude, Voss!” She huffed, as if I had just ruined her whole day.
“Like I was trying to say, yes, sex is healthy, but sex with a lot of random women is not, especially when you’re also getting intoxicated, and it’s affecting your everyday life.
And showing up late to work, or not showing up at all, is affecting your life. ”
She wasn’t wrong. About the sex part, yes, but the other part, it wasn’t like I was proud of the way my life had been going recently. I would just start drinking to forget about Skylar, and when that didn’t work, I drank some more until I found a warm body to comfort me.
“You’re one to talk. If I remember correctly, you were the expert on sleeping around before you met Fallon.” I glared at her.
“Yes, and you see what happened when I stopped? I found my reason for breathing. I’m not proud of that part of my life, and I don’t miss it at all.
After a while, it just got to be too much.
Keeping track of who I’d slept with and who I hadn’t, on top of getting tested frequently.
Not to mention, making sure I didn’t scream out the wrong name.
And don’t turn this around on me. We’re talking about you.
Your work is your life, and something is really wrong if you’re letting anything or anyone get in the way of it. ”
I really hated when she was right. “Okay, so maybe I’m going through some things. I’m just trying to find myself again.”
“That’s all fine and dandy. You’re allowed to miss Skylar and you’re allowed to figure your shit out, but you can’t do that when you’re face—or strap—deep in someone else. You need to take some time to find yourself. Alone.”
“Alone? What exactly are you suggesting, Mackenzie?” My voice was laced with weariness. I was pretty sure whatever she was suggesting, I wasn’t going to like it.
She rolled her eyes. “You need a restraining order against sex, to clear your head.”
I gaped at her and tried to suppress a snort, dumbfounded that she would even suggest such a thing. “No sex?! Oh, for fuck’s sake, you have to be out of your mind! I should make Fallon ban you from sex for that horrid suggestion!”
She laughed. “First of all, good luck with that. She would be just as miserable without it as I would be. Our sex is way too good. You remember the book sign—”
I threw my hands up in the air, shaking them violently across her face. “No, no, no, I believe you, Mackenzie. I told you we were never to speak of that again! I should have thrown the damn chair out, or burned it!”
She shook her head. “Fallon was right, you are dramatic. Anyway, my point is, you can’t find yourself if you can’t see where you are going, and you can’t see if your head’s between someone’s legs. Just give it a try, Dre.”
I thought about it for a moment. Could I actually give up sex? Would it even help anything? “What are the terms of this challenge, then?” I was a little curious, I admit.
“No sex for…” She paused in thought, and I hoped she didn’t say anything longer than a month. I didn’t know if I could survive that. I really enjoyed sex.
“A year.”
My eyes almost popped out of my head and this time I couldn’t hold back a snort. “A year?! You have really lost it. Please tell me this is a sick joke?”
“Drea, I believe in you. No sex for an entire year. Find other things to fill your time. Take a class or something. Find yourself and who you are without sex.”
“Is masturbating off the table too?” I prayed not, or I was screwed.
She laughed. “Of course not. I’m not that cruel.” Thank fucking God!
I frowned. A year without sex sounded fucking terrible. “A whole year? That is impossible.”
She rolled her eyes and let out an overly dramatic sigh. “No, it’s not, Drea.”
“Then you can do it. Honestly, Kenzie, was this Fallon’s idea? It sounds like a stupid idea she’d have rolling around in her head.”
Fallon was never one to sleep around, so it wouldn’t have surprised me if she came up with this plan.
“She may have suggested it, but I agreed with her—”
“As you always do.” It didn’t matter that Fallon was always right, and right now I despised her for it. The woman had a freaky ability when it came to knowing someone, but I supposed, as her best friend, I was a little easier to read.
She rolled her eyes. “Drea, I’m trying to be nice and supportive here, and you’re ruining it! You need to stop silicone-dicking around and get your shit together! Fallon hates seeing you like this, and it’s pissing me off, too. This isn’t you!”
I sighed. She was right, Fallon must be rubbing off on her. “I should never have helped your ass get her back. I retract everything I ever said or did to help.”
She nudged my shoulder. “I know you love me. She told me so.”
I groaned. “Goddamn her. Are none of my secrets safe anymore? Ugh, fine, you guys win! I’ll give it a try, but I honestly don’t see how it’s going to do any good.”