Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Drea
“Okay, so, I was thinking we could set the table up here so the line would be out of the way.”
We had been walking around the store for over an hour with Cara, trying to map out the signing and where everything would be. Cara had just left when Blair and I were discussing where to put the table for the signing.
“I think that’s a good idea. That way it won’t interfere with the line at the counter, and we can set up the snack table over there.” I nodded.
“Wow, something we agree on? Better film this or Cara will never believe it.” She laughed.
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t get used to it.” It was still weird for us to have this mutual civility toward one another. Complimenting her in my office was like pulling teeth, and now, here we were working together, alone, and no one had lost an arm. At least, not yet.
We were just about finished when there was a flash outside, followed by the boom of thunder.
I jumped. “We better put a pin in this until later. It looks like there’s a storm coming.” She must not have heard me, because she didn’t respond.
“Blair, did you hear me?” I turned around and saw her frozen. She wasn’t moving and was staring out the door. “Blair, are you—”
Another loud boom. This time, she flinched. Okay, so she doesn’t like storms. Good to know.
“Do you want to call it quits for the night and get going before the storm gets bad?” I asked.
She was still standing there, but she was trembling slightly. “Blair?” I asked again, but no response.
There was another boom, a louder one this time, followed by the sound of heavy rain, and that caused a bigger reaction from her.
Her breathing quickened and she started sweating. Her eyes looked like they were filled with tears, and I didn’t know how to help. This situation felt like something her best friend, or even a stranger, would be more helpful in than me.
Another loud boom, and she flinched again, and I could see she was getting weak. I rushed over to her when her knees slowly gave out.
“Shit! Blair!” I shouted, catching her before she hit the ground.
She stood back up on trembling legs and looked at me. “Dre… Drea.”
“Shh. It’s okay, I’ve got you.” I didn’t say anything else as I held onto her and walked her to the back room, away from the storm.
I sat her down on the couch and covered her with the blanket, keeping her warm.
I put some earmuffs on her to block out the thundering sounds, and sat next to her.
I didn’t know what I was doing: I just wanted to make it better.
She was still hyperventilating and shaking, so I wrapped my arms around her and held tight until everything settled.
It felt awkward, holding her so intimately. We might have kissed in heated moments, but we were nothing more than colleagues. But at the same time, it felt right. It felt… good. It had been a long time since I’d held someone like that.
I couldn’t help myself. I had to draw circles on her back. I wanted to comfort her, and a part of me wanted her to comfort me. This was her time to be taken care of, but I admit, I was a little selfish and wanted to feel needed in some way, and I wanted to feel her.
I inhaled deeply, which was a mistake. I was trying to center myself, and not think of Blair in any way, but all I could think about now was how she smelled.
God, did she smell fucking delicious! I was trying desperately to not think any impure thoughts about her, which was a challenge.
Feeling her skin on mine as her hands rested on my bare legs. Breathing in her vanilla perfume. I was so totally fucked.
What I did seemed to have worked. After a few minutes, her breathing had slowed to almost normal, and the shaking subsided.
“Drea, I’m so—”
“Don’t you dare apologize. You can sit here as long as you need to. Come get me when you’re ready.” I stood up to go, but she caught my wrist.
“Wait!” I stopped and turned to look at her. “Please don’t go. I… I don’t want to be alone.”
Being alone with Blair in the back room of the empty store was not what I should have been doing. I should have left her alone. I should have called Cara and told her to come deal with her best friend. This moment seemed too intimate, and our relationship wasn’t that.
Instead of doing any of the things I should’ve, I sat back down next to her. She shifted on the couch, and I wondered if I’d made a mistake.
“So, you aren’t a fan of storms, then?” I teased, but my smile fell when she looked down and didn’t have a witty comeback or insult. “I’m sorry, Blair. Do you want to talk about it?”
She sat, not making a sound for a good while, until she finally shifted in her seat and looked at me.
“I was thirteen, and we were on our way home from my grandmother’s.
We went there every Sunday for family dinner.
My parents, cousins, aunts, and uncles, all of us.
It’s been that way since I can remember. Well, it used to be.”
I put my hand on her thigh reassuringly. I wasn’t sure what compelled me to do so; I just felt the need. The need for her to know someone was there, and she wasn’t alone. I was expecting her to scowl at me or throw my hand off her, but she only sat there, barely acknowledging the contact.
“We had just left dinner when the storm hit. It was raining hard, and visibility was low. The road was slick, and our car was sliding across it.” Her eyes started to fill with tears, and I wanted to hold her until it stopped.
“It all happened so fast. One minute we were singing in the car, and the next, a drunk driver behind the wheel of a truck ran a red light and smashed into the passenger-side door. It killed my mother instantly, and my father died shortly after. He passed away in the ambulance heading toward the hospital. I had a nasty concussion and a few broken ribs, but nothing else. I walked out of the hospital as an orphan. Anytime there is a storm, I have a flashback to the accident, and I can’t breathe, I can’t move.
That’s why I don’t drive. If it happened while I was driving…
” She shook her head and wiped the tears away.
I was still touching her leg, but she didn’t back away. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Blair. No one should ever have to go through that. I shouldn’t have asked you to drive the weekend of the literary festival.”
Without thinking, I reached out and gently wiped away a stray tear. She sat there unmoving as I did so, and I wasn’t sure what to make of that.
I wasn’t sure what possessed me to do such a thing to begin with. It wasn’t like we were friends, or anything close to it. I just… I felt like it was something I had to do. I had to comfort her in some way.
Seeing her upset was unacceptable. I shook my head at myself. When did I start caring about Blair?
“It’s okay, you didn’t know. Thank you for staying with me. I know you’re not my biggest fan, but it still means a lot.” She started caressing my wrist and I was afraid to move and ruin the moment.
“Drea?” She was quiet, and there was something in her eyes I couldn’t place.
Her fingers were still circling my wrist when I responded. “Yeah?”
She looked deep into my eyes, searching for something. Did she want me to back away? Did she want me to pull her close? I wanted to do it all.
She started to inch closer and I didn’t even think about protesting as I felt her breath on my lips.
“I want…” The thought must have died off in her mind, because she grabbed me and kissed me, and once again, my body didn’t belong to me anymore. It belonged to her.
Every thought, every action, wasn’t my own. My body did whatever she commanded it to.
Every swipe of her tongue compelled my throat to moan with pleasure. Every touch ordered my body to react and connect deeper with hers.
When she started to reach underneath my shirt, my body tightened and sent a very dirty message to my clit, but before it could make it there, alarm bells began to ring in my mind.
I couldn’t do this with her. As much as my body was begging me to, it was wrong on so many levels, and not only because of the sex ban. I would’ve been willing to throw that away, but we couldn’t do this, not like this.
I pulled us apart. This wasn’t right. “Blair, I can’t. You’re upset, and if you keep kissing me, I won’t be able to stop. I don’t want to be the person you blame for anything you might regret tomorrow.” I wanted to kick my own chivalrous ass!
“Of course.”
Seeing how embarrassed she looked, I added, “Please don’t think it’s because I don’t want you, Blair. I just don’t think—”
“I should go.” She went to stand up, but I stopped her with a hand on her leg. She looked down at the touch, and I instantly removed my hand, losing my confidence from earlier.
“Let me take you home. It’s late.”
She shook her head. “No need. I’m a grown woman. I can handle a little darkness. I’ve been dealing with you for years, you know.”
I took her hands in mine. “Trust me, I am well aware. Please let me take you home. I need to know you’re safe.” The admission came out like it had been there all along.
She sat quietly for a while, contemplating my offer. Eventually she sighed. “Fine.”
I helped Blair gather her things before we headed to her house. Part of me wanted to stay back there with her, holding her until she fell asleep and the nightmares of her past didn’t haunt her.
I didn’t want anything sexual in that moment, which was weird, in a way. I had never been around a beautiful single woman and not thought about sleeping with her.
Granted, I’d thought about Blair that way quite a bit recently, but being in the back room with her? It just felt good to comfort someone and to be held after I hadn’t been for so long.
It was weird to think about, but something about that situation, the vulnerability of being with Blair, it felt different than any moment I’d had in the past few years. It felt easy.
Before Skylar and I broke up, our relationship felt like a rollercoaster. It ranged from intense passion to bitter arguments. She wanted to settle down, but my gut told me that it wasn’t my time. Our time together never felt easy, and with Blair, I felt I could be vulnerable.
Her house was exactly as I’d expected it to be—small and quaint. It had a triangular- shaped roof with green trim around the windows and door frame. Slim trees and other various shrubs lined both sides of the few steps leading to the front door.
It was a very whimsical cottage, but it looked like it had personality. Everything about this house shouted BLAIR!
“Well, I made it safe and sound. Goodbye, Drea.” She went to open the door, but I stopped her with a hand on her thigh.
She looked down at where my hand rested, but I didn’t pull away. I should’ve because it was itching to move up her dress. She really needed to invest in some pants. As much as I wanted to reach higher, I couldn’t allow myself to.
“What are you doing this weekend?” I asked.
There was no reason for her to say yes. There was no reason I should’ve asked her, anyway. We’d already gone too far.
Just kissing her once was a mistake, but did that stop me from wanting to do it again? Did that stop me from hoping she wanted to do it again? The only thing that stopped me from inviting myself inside was Cara and my stupid ban.
I was really trying to take it seriously, and one night of intoxicating sex wouldn’t be worth it, no matter how badly I was desperate for it. I didn’t need sex; my body just thought I did.
And Cara. She was one of my dearest friends, and she knew how much Blair and I hated each other. If anything were to happen between us, it could cause so many problems. Most of which were business-related.
Cara took her business very seriously, and anything that jeopardized that was not okay with her.
It was bad enough that we’d kissed a few times, but as long as nothing else happened and she never found out about it, we’d be okay.
But if anything more happened, she’d blow a fucking gasket, I was sure.
She frowned at me, turning her whole body to face me. “What? Why?”
Fuck! That little frown was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. I really needed to stop seeing her as anything more than a business partner I sort of tolerated now. A colleague, not a woman with the most mind-blowing body I’d ever seen and the lips of a goddamn angel.
“Let me take you somewhere.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Are you asking me out?”
I told myself it wasn’t a date. That it was strictly platonic. It wasn’t a date. I was not asking Blair Sterling on a date. Definitely wasn’t happening.
“No, just… an apology for the entire time we’ve known each other.”
She let out the cutest little laugh. Jesus Christ! I wished she’d stop being so fucking adorable. It wasn’t helping matters. “That could take a while.”
I rolled my eyes. “Is that a yes or a no?”
She sighed. “Sure. Pick me up Saturday, around six?”
I smiled. “Sounds perfect. Goodnight, Blair.”
She leaned in to kiss my cheek, and I turned at the last second, causing her delicious lips to make contact with the very edge of mine. She pulled away, but only slightly. Just enough to look into my eyes.
I took a shaky breath and raised my hand to caress the side of her cheek, wishing I could do so much more, but at the same time, nothing at all.
I dropped my hand and gripped the sides of my legs so I didn’t reach up and pull her down for a real kiss. Things were getting out of hand, and I needed to get a hold of myself.
Blair cleared her throat and whispered, “Goodnight. Thank you for taking me home.”
She got out of the car, and I watched her walk away. The way her dresses always hugged every curve of her body, and the way her ass looked when she walked away, caused my mouth to go a little dry.
I breathed deeply before I drove away. Those little, short dresses were going to be the end of me.