Chapter 43 #2
“Hey, Kaia. Thanks.” She gave her a soft expression as Kaia walked past and closed the door behind her.
I tried to keep my composure as I looked at her, but it was almost impossible.
I had been catching glimpses of her all day and tried not to torture myself by staring for too long.
But seeing her in my office was the worst kind of torture.
She was so close I could smell her vanilla perfume, and there was no one else around.
I could have easily captured her lips in a kiss, but I couldn’t. Not anymore.
“Hi,” I finally said, unable to control the shake in my voice and my legs as I stood up.
She hesitated before slowly walking over to my desk without sitting down. She had no intention of staying, and I couldn’t say I blamed her.
“I just came to see if I left my bracelet here. The last time I was here when we… I think I dropped it. It was from my mother,” she said with no emotion. Maybe Kaia was wrong and she wasn’t in love with me…
Without a word, I opened my desk drawer and retrieved the gold bracelet.
It was a dainty little thing with a few small gold balls spaced around the band.
I remembered it wrapped around her wrist, fitting so perfectly, just as she had fit into my life, into my heart.
I’d found it a while ago when I was cleaning and kept meaning to give it back, but I never got around to it.
If I was being totally honest, I never mustered up the courage to seek her out to give it back, and I selfishly wanted to hold on to any piece of her I could.
If I had known the special place it held in her heart, I would have forgotten all about my feelings and found a way to make sure it got back to her safely.
I walked over to her and held it out without letting go. Feeling her skin on mine for the first time in so long felt too good, and I didn’t want to lose it again.
“Drea,” she whispered. I could tell by the trembling in her voice and the shaking of her hand in mine that she was trying to hold it together. I wondered if she could tell how much that was breaking me even more.
“I… was hoping we could talk.” I didn’t want to push her, but I was desperate for any chance to talk to her. To fix this. It took all I had to hide the tremor in my voice. To force a strength I didn’t possess into my words.
She sighed heavily and closed her eyes for a beat before opening them again. “There is nothing to talk about. Please… just let me go.”
My grip held tight as I shook my head. “I can’t do that. You made the mistake of letting me have you, and now?” I pulled her closer. “I don’t want to let you go,” I whispered as I softly and slowly pressed a kiss to her lips.
If she’d wanted it to stop it would have in a heartbeat, but she made no move to pull away and her hand found its way to my arm, causing the bracelet to crash to the ground.
I wasn’t dumb enough to think this meant we weren’t going to talk about things, but I wasn’t questioning anything as we walked to the couch and she straddled me, her hand finding that sweet spot between my thighs.
That was a problem for me to handle tomorrow.
I didn’t know how much time we had, and I didn’t want to waste another second.
She broke the kiss, both of us panting and not taking our eyes off one another. “This doesn’t mean—” I stopped her with a kiss, not wanting to break the spell over whatever this was.
I brought my hands up to roam her body. I needed to feel her everywhere I could. She stopped my hands and took them off her, and I immediately missed the contact.
“Blair—” She cut me off with a firm shake of her head.
I was left confused as I watched her get off me without saying a word. Realization dawned on me when she opened the drawer next to my desk and pulled out a small bullet, and I was instantly turned on again.
She walked back over to me and I had to fight the urge to drag her down with me again. I could see she wanted to be in charge, so I let her. If it was going to get her to forgive me, she could do whatever she wanted with me.
“Take off your shorts,” she commanded. My shorts and underwear hit the floor within seconds, and I tried to reach out for her, but she put her hand out to stop me.
“Lay back.” She straddled me as I lay back, and my hands traveled to her ass, but she stopped them again with only a shake of her head as a response.
“Blair, please—”
“Hands above your head.” I didn’t understand why she wouldn’t let me touch her, but I could tell in her tone she was angry. I did as I was told and placed my hands above my head. She turned on the toy, and it buzzed to life, causing a jolt of pleasure to shoot through me.
I instinctively closed my eyes as soon as she swirled it around my clit. “Fuck,” I breathed.
I kept trying to move my hands, hoping she would let me touch her, but her grip only tightened and it was killing me. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to feel her and kiss her. Fuck, I wanted everything!
“Blair, can I, Oh God!” My words melted into a moan as she inserted the vibrator inside of me and circled my clit with her thumb. I was a mess, and I was completely at her mercy.
She was not taking her eyes off me, and she was fucking me without saying a word. I wanted her to yell at me. I wanted her to tell me off, to insult me. I wanted… anything but this. Her silence caused more pain than any words could have.
“I’m so close. I need to touch you, Blair, please,” I begged. I was desperate to be close to her again.
Her only response was to thrust the toy harder and deeper, somehow knowing I needed it that way. She was angry and hurt, and I wanted her to take it all out on me.
Tears started falling down her face, and I would have given anything to be the one to wipe them away. I felt like I was losing her all over again and it fucking sucked.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered before the vibrator moved one last time and my orgasm hit me at the same moment tears started burning my eyes.
She didn’t stop thrusting the toy into me, and her tears didn’t stop their descent on her perfectly devastated face. It was breaking me all over again.
“Shit, Blair.” Her name came out in a moan, and my eyes never left hers.
After she rang out every ounce of pleasure from my body, she slowly removed the vibrator and turned it off. I lay there unmoving, waiting for her to say something… anything.
“Can I…” I stopped myself when she got off me, and I sat up as I watched her place the vibrator on my desk.
She turned and headed for the door without another word, and I immediately stood up. “Blair, wait.”
She stopped with her hand on the doorknob and turned around to face me.
Tears were still running down her face, but she made no move to wipe them away as she cleared her throat.
“Feel free to tell Cara what color the vibrator was… Oh, and make sure to tell her you were the one who came in your office this time.” She turned and walked out of my life again, closing the door behind her.
I put my shorts back on and slumped on the couch. “Fuck!” I groaned out. I knew I deserved that, but it still hurt.