Bonus Content #2
Take your time. I’ll be right here.
I nodded and retreated into the house that once held laughter and love. The house that would never be the same again.
The first steps inside were slow and shaky. I kept expecting to see him sitting in his chair, watching the news with the captions on, or his favorite weird sci-fi show I never understood. All I saw when I walked into the house were memories and silence.
I walked over to the chair and ran my hands along the arms and across the top.
He’d never sit there again. He’d never talk about the news and I’d never roll my eyes, hating politics.
I’d never hear his laugh. The most obnoxious laugh that always made me laugh with him.
I wiped the tears away as I walked to my room, thinking about the past and the future that would forever be changed.
I only grabbed what I needed, not wanting to be in there any longer than necessary. The wounds were too fresh, the pain too real.
After a few more minutes of packing and saying goodbye to the house, I walked out the door, forcing more tears away.
I knew Daisy didn’t mind, but I didn’t like to cry in front of anyone, even her.
She’d be sweet and comforting, and I’d cry even harder for a multitude of reasons, and I was already mentally exhausted from the day.
The drive to Daisy’s only took ten minutes, and for that, I was grateful. It had been a day, and I wanted nothing more than to go to bed. Although, I didn’t think sleep wanted me as much as I wanted it.
Daisy led us to the door, but stopped and turned to me before going inside.
Everything okay? I asked, confused as to why we weren’t going in right away.
She looked a little sheepish and I groaned internally. She was so damn cute. Yeah, so before… everything happened at the store, I was going to tell you something.
Before I could tell her to go ahead, an adorable sound came from inside the house. I looked toward the noise, then back to her with wide eyes.
Sunny, did you get a dog? I asked. When the hell had that happened? I was just over there a few days ago, and I would’ve remembered a dog running around.
She winced and nodded her head. I was just browsing the shelter with Blair, and he looked at me. It’s not my fault. I couldn’t just leave him, Kai.
I rolled my eyes and motioned for her to open the door so I could meet her new baby.
When the door opened, we were greeted by a rambunctious little pit bull. The little thing circled us both, smelling and jumping like we were the most interesting things on the planet.
So you got a dog, I said, smiling as I bent down to let him observe me.
She smiled. Yes I did. He’s still getting used to the house, and he hasn’t been trained as a service dog yet, but he will be! Can we keep him?
I laughed. Of course we can keep him. He is so cute! Did you name him yet?
Her smile turned shy, and I was worried she named him something odd like Balthazar the third. I did. His name is Duke.
His name is Duke?
Yeah. Daisy. She pointed to herself. Duke. She pointed to the dog and smiled, like a freaking sunflower. She was always doing that. Smiling and being happy. All the time.
I tried to be, and I usually was, especially when I was with Daisy. When you had someone like her in your corner, when you had that smile to look at everyday, it was hard not to be happy.
Daisy. Duke. I repeated. Like Dukes of Hazard?
She gave me the cheesiest grin in the world, and I couldn’t help but smile. Yeah. It’s my favorite movie.
I laughed and headed to sit on the couch.
Of course she would name her dog after her favorite movie.
I knew it was her favorite. She’d only made me watch it a dozen times.
She never put the captions on, and I always begged her to.
She didn’t need them, though. She could quote that movie in her sleep.
Every time we watched it, I tried to joke around and tell her she should get a pair of those shorts from the movie. She would shrug it off, but I couldn’t help picturing what they would look like.
I brushed the thought away. That was the last thing I needed to think about tonight. That was the last thing I needed to think about, period. But if my thoughts weren’t on Daisy, they were on my dad.
You grow up knowing logically your parents will die someday, but in the back of your mind, you don’t think it would happen to you, until it does.
Twice. Losing my mom was the worst day of my life, but I was only eleven.
The memory of losing her felt worse. This was different.
I was older and understood everything more.
I jolted when I felt the soft brush of Daisy’s hand putting some of my hair behind my ear. She was always doing things like that. Touching my face, or rubbing my back.
She was a very touchy feely person, and while a part of me enjoyed every second of it, another part of me didn’t. Sometimes it was appreciated. Like now. I needed that closeness. But sometimes, it was just too much. Receiving her affection just felt like too much.
I made you some tea. Rose hip and hibiscus. That was my favorite and she knew it. It was always ready for me when I came over.
Thank you. You know, the flavor’s not the greatest, but the color is so gorgeous.
She smiled and handed me the cup, and I sat there staring at her. There was so much I wanted to do and say, but I did the only thing I could actually do. I drank the tea. It was hot and perfect, and I endured the light burn it produced on my tongue. Anything to get my thoughts together.
Daisy came back a few minutes later with her own tea in one hand, a throw blanket in the other, and Duke at her feet. As soon as she sat down, she covered us with the blanket and he was right in her lap.
The blanket was big and white and had chevron style lines on it. It was my favorite one, and it was always on the couch when I came by. It was the only one I used while I was there, and it smelled like her fresh lavender laundry detergent.
After a few minutes, Daisy tapped me on the shoulder. I hadn’t realized I was crying again until she reached up and cleared away a stray tear under my eye. I gave her a sad smile, not wanting the contact to end.
Do you want to talk?
I shook my head. Not really. Can we just sit here, please? I asked. I just wanted to sit in silence like we had so many times before, and enjoy her company.
She nodded and continued to drink her tea. I thanked her again and pet Duke, who seemed like he sensed the air and snuggled closer to me.
I loved moments like this. Our friendship was an easy one. We could sit on the couch for hours, not saying a word.
My mind was so numb, I didn’t have anything to say anyway, and I appreciated that Daisy got it. She understood I needed the silence right now. Usually when we signed together, I still talked out loud, but obviously it was more for my sake.
Eventually, Daisy asked if I was ready for bed and I nodded, folding up the blanket and putting it back on its usual spot on the couch.
Are you going to be okay alone tonight? she asked.
As much as it would’ve been nice to not be alone, I refused to torture myself by sleeping in the same bed as Daisy, so I lied instead. Yes, I’ll be fine. Thanks.
Okay. If you’re sure. The guest room is yours for as long as you want it. You know that. Also, take Duke. I’ll feel better if someone’s keeping you company. She smiled and I nodded. Too tired to say any more.
She pulled me in for a hug and I held on too tight. Her hugs always grounded me, and I hadn’t needed one as badly as I did in that moment.
Her touch broke something inside me, and I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I tried to control the trembling, but it was no use. It was still too early, and I didn’t want to believe he was really gone.
Growing up, my dad had been my best friend. Even before my mom passed, I was always daddy’s little girl. After we lost mom, our bond grew stronger and when he got sick, I didn’t hesitate to move back home and look after him.
Apparently sensing my shaking, Daisy drew circles along my back, and I took in a deep breath. On one hand, I loved that we were so close and so intimate. On the other hand, I hated the circumstances.
I wished for nothing more than for her to be holding me as a partner, and not a sad best friend who just lost her only living parent, making her an orphan at twenty-eight.
Too soon, the hug ended and I plastered on a grateful smile. I wiped my tears away and said goodnight, heading to the lonely guest room.
Duke followed a few steps behind, and I left the door open for him for two reasons. So he could go in and out as he pleased. And so I could hear if Daisy got up in the middle of the night. I had an irrational fear that something bad would happen.
When I finally made it to bed, I didn’t bother getting under the covers.
The room was pretty cool, and I’d have to cover up in the middle of the night, but I didn’t care.
As soon as my head hit the pillow, my mind wouldn’t stop thinking of my dad, and Daisy, and I cried myself to sleep for more than one reason that night.