Chapter 8
eight
CAMILLA
8 YEARS EARLIER
As early as first grade, it was drilled into my head how important it was to get into a good college. I figured the only way I could avoid getting distracted was to make a pact—instead of dating in high school, all my extra time would be dedicated to studying and extracurricular activities to stack my resume for college applications. That was the plan—until Julian Perez.
Despite my resistance, he bribed me into seeing him again. I knew he wasn’t bluffing when he said he’d ask me out in front of the entire school, proving my point that guys like him were dangerous. Everything about him was a distraction, from his charming disposition to his tempting smile.
“What the hell am I doing?” I whispered as I adjusted my oversized cardigan that hid the black mini-skirt I’d spent twenty minutes scrounging through my closet for.
“Where are you headed on a school night?” My mom crept around the corner and entered my room with a beaming smile.
“Out with a friend.” I let out a grunt of frustration as I snatched the ribbon out of my hair.
“Taylor usually comes over, so I assume this friend happens to be a boy?” I sighed with relief when she walked over and helped fix my hair like she’d done since I was a little girl.
“Trust me, it’s nothing. It’s just a bet I lost that keeps biting me in the ass.” I saw her dimpled grin in the reflection. “Who’s the lucky guy?” I almost didn’t answer, but I never kept anything from my mom. Before Taylor, she was my first best friend.
“Julian Perez.” She froze when his name fell from my lips, but she tried to play it off. “He’s a good kid. You have my approval if you want it.”
“We’re just friends. It’s no big deal.” If you asked Julian, he probably would’ve said the opposite, which only made my nerves grow.
“I’m just saying, I approve if you decide you’re not.” She winked in the mirror and took the ribbon out of my hair. “I like your hair down. It brings out your features.” The features she loved about me were the same ones I grew up admiring. Her eyes reminded me of the waves down at the cove, and her dark hair cascaded down her back effortlessly. Everything I was came from her.
My cheeks flushed. “Do I look stupid? I feel like I’m overdressed. I should cancel, right? I have homework. Force me to stay home,” I rambled as my head spun with excuses.
“First, I know for a fact you already did your homework, and second, you know I hate being the strict type, Cam. You’re also not overdressed. You look beautiful.” My stomach churned when I heard the roar of Julian’s engine outside my window. I knew it was him because no one in my neighborhood had a car that made as much noise as his.
“Shit,” I said under my breath.
Mom rested her delicate hands on my cheeks. “You’ll be fine. Don’t worry about anything else except having fun.” She practically pushed me down the stairs before I could change my mind, and my heart leaped when the doorbell rang. “He came to the door? I like him already.” I thought guys only did that in movies. She opened the door and revealed Julian standing with a bouquet of green carnations. His eyes popped out of his head when he saw me, and I tried to pretend he didn’t give me the same reaction.
“Hi, Mrs. Vega. This is for you.” He handed my mom a stemmed flower from the bouquet, to which she showed her approval with a thumbs-up from behind the door. He won her over before even stepping into my living room, which made me wonder if there was anyone he couldn’t charm.
“It’s nice to meet you, Julian. Camilla’s dad is out of town for work, but I’m sure you’ll meet him soon if tonight goes well.”“Mom, please.” My face turned hot with embarrassment, but Julian seemed pleased as he put the bouquet of flowers in my hands. “They didn’t have very much selection, so I hope you like them.”
I smiled when I inhaled their fresh, faintly sweet scent. “I love them, thank you. Green is my favorite color.” My pulse raced at the sight of his smirk. “I know.” I didn’t tell him that.
I broke away from the trance of his soft brown eyes. “We should get going since we have school tomorrow.”
He chuckled. “Do you ever not think about school?” I inhaled a sharp breath when his warm touch rested on my back to guide me out the door.
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Vega, I’ll have her back by ten.”
My mom failed to subtly wink at me. “Eleven.” She was letting her daughter stay out late with a random boy on a school night. What could go wrong?
Despite my feet trying to stay glued to the threshold, he pulled me towards his old car. “Where are we going?” I asked with a shaky voice.
“There’s always a bonfire down at the cove when there’s a full moon. Before you dismiss the idea, you might have fun if you try the whole not being invisible thing for five minutes.” I wanted to say no. I was in two-inch boots and a mini-skirt, so I was the least dressed for the beach, but at the same time, being invited to a bonfire at the cove was the equivalent of being invited to a celebrity party—in Willow’s Cove terms, of course. Everyone wanted an invite, but apparently, you had to run with certain crowds to even be considered. I never understood that, since the cove was open to anyone in town, but it was high school, so hardly anything made sense. “Fine. Five minutes.” I couldn’t help but crack a smile at how he silently celebrated after shutting my door; he must have forgotten he was lit up by the street lamp.
“By the way, you look beautiful. I should have said that first, but I’m so goddamn nervous.” He said when he climbed into the driver’s seat. I tried masking my embarrassment with a tight-lipped smile. “Sorry. My mom can be a little much sometimes.”
“I’m nervous because of you, Camilla.” I was in a daze when my head snapped to him. It wasn’t fair that someone I wanted to stay far away from was so ruggedly handsome. His stupidly cute smile and dazzling eyes threatened everything I’d planned.
“Why?” I didn’t think people like Julian got nervous, not when he played football for crowds every Friday night and walked around school with his head high and confident.
The corner of his tempting lips tugged with a smile as he shook his head. “There’s nobody like you, Camilla Vega.” Thankfully, I didn’t have to muster up anything to say because music blared from his speakers when he started up the car and drove away from my house. I’d lost count of how many times I snuck a peek at him while he was distracted.
The cove wasn’t far, so I didn’t have a lot of time to calm the doubt swirling through my head. I wasn’t afraid of the people I went to school with, but I was afraid of leaving the bubble I’d secured for myself.
We parked on the side of the road designated for visitors, but I couldn’t bring myself to move when I saw the crowd gathered at the beach. Julian set his hand on my arm and spoke softly. “Hey, the second you want to leave, just tell me. I won’t leave your side. Trust me.” If someone told me prior to that night I’d fully trust Julian Perez, I wouldn’t have believed them, but his assurance gave me the confidence to finally climb out. The moment I heard the waves crashing against the rocks and the salty air filled my nostrils, my nerves started to unravel.
There were different sections of the beach in Willow’s Cove: the pier on one end, where families tended to go; the cove, which is where the high school parties usually happened; and a third section that had been closed off to the public since I was a kid. “Watch your step.” I didn’t pull away when Julian grabbed my hand and guided us down the steep hill to where groups of people stood by the fires. I had the feeling he would’ve plunged himself in front of me if any harm came my way.
My chest tightened when I saw the beach filled with everyone I intentionally avoided at school. “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?” I said I would give it five minutes, so that’s what I did.
The air was thick with the smell of smoke, and so much of it clouded the sky, I couldn’t see the stars. People stayed in the small cove to swim, which you’d see often if they didn’t want to go into the dark ocean at night. Despite that, there were always people who were drunk and reckless, stupid enough to accept the dare to jump off the highest point of the cliffs. You’re not a local if you’ve never been dared to jump at least once in your life, but of course, I hadn’t done it because of my rational fear of being impaled on the rigged rocks waiting at the bottom.
Julian glued me to his side as he greeted people, but I didn’t want to look up and see their wary looks. I wouldn’t have blamed them, since Julian and I were probably the last people they’d expect to be out together.
“Shit. Sorry for this,” he leaned over and said into my ear.
“Sorry for wh—” I wasn’t able to finish before being greeted by a ball of energy.
“It’s so nice to meet you! I’m Sofia, Julian’s little sister, who I’m sure you’ve heard nothing about.” I knew he had a sister, but since she was a year younger than us, I never saw her in any classes. Still, I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t ever noticed her magnetic energy. My eyes darted to him, then back to her—their resemblance was uncanny. Their eyes were the same shade of soft brown, and they held the same sparkle. While her dark hair draped down her back, she shared the same wavy texture with her brother.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Camilla.” My smile was taken as an invitation for her to hug me tightly. “I know. I had to come meet the girl my brother hasn’t shut the hell up about.”
“Sofia, could you not?” Julian gritted out.
“Was I not supposed to say that?” I liked her sarcasm.
“And you wonder why you’re not allowed to talk to me at school unless you’re in trouble. Go hang out with your friends, but if I see you with a boy, I’m dragging you home.”
“Okay, Dad.” She rolled her eyes but turned to offer me a bright smile before running off to her group of friends.
“I’m sorry. She can be a little…”
“She’s great,” I cut in. I knew immediately she was a breath of fresh air in a small town full of people who acted the same. It was hard for anyone to surprise me, but Julian and Sofia did. They had every reason to act stuck up like most people at Willow High, considering how respected their dad was in the community, but they were the opposite. I wanted reasons to keep pushing Julian away, but all I kept finding were reasons to let him in.
I shivered when a cold breeze sent goosebumps down my spine. “Are you cold? Come on, let’s warm you up.” He pulled me towards a crowd hovering around a fire burning brightly, which happened to host all his football friends and cheerleaders. I sat on a far log and hoped not to be noticed, but I quickly realized Julian attracted attention without even trying.
“Why are you so far from the fire?” he asked.
Suddenly, Damon’s voice boomed over the music. “Julian! We didn’t think you’d come.” If the beer can occupying his hand didn’t tell me he was drunk, his stumbling would’ve. “That’s why,” I said under my breath. The closer he inched, the more I started to pick at my nail beds—it was a nervous tick I developed that I never was able to kick.
“You brought your new friend, how cute is that? It’s nice to see you, Camilla.”
“Hi, Damon,” I forced out with a disgusted tone. All the muscles in my body froze when he sat on the other side of me and I smelled the alcohol on his breath. It was comforting when Julian’s grip tightened like he was ready to pounce if Damon made one wrong move, but I still hated the idea of drunk Damon so close. I didn’t even like sober Damon close to me.
“Now that you guys are here, let’s play a game. You in?” His sly grin told me I would regret saying yes. I hadn’t trusted Damon since eighth grade, when he told the entire school he made out with Taylor, when she would never even let him breathe her air.
I wanted to throw up when everyone’s eyes found me, but I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of getting the best of me, so saying no wasn’t an option. “Sure.”
“Truth or dare.”
I saw Julian’s jaw tighten from the corner of my eye. “Really, Damon? Are we in middle school?”
“She said she wanted to play, so let her answer the question, JP.” His mocking laughter made my blood rush. There was no way I was picking dare. “Truth.”
He took another swig of beer before a sinister grin widened on his face. “Is it true Julian only went out with you because of a bet?” I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out when I overheard everyone around us snicker. I was the least bit surprised the word got out, because nothing ever stayed a secret in Willow’s Cove, no matter how hard you tried. I was sure someone in English class overheard when Julian and I made the bet, and it spread like wildfire.
“Don’t be a dick.” Julian’s voice turned cold.
“Relax, JP. It’s a yes or no question. We’re all friends now, right?” He reminded me why I stayed away from that crowd of people, but I wouldn’t let him see me crumble. “Yeah, it’s true.”
“Well, that answers a lot.” His head flew back with uncontrollable laughter, which invited everyone else to join. The only people not laughing were me, Julian, and his friend Elijah, who I knew from biology class.
There were two paths to take when I entered my freshman year: the one people like Damon—people who peak in high school—chose, and the one I did. I knew what people whispered behind my back. I wasn’t stupid; I just never gave a shit. None of those people knew me, and for good reason, but having them laugh in my face was a level of embarrassment I couldn’t bear.
Everything began to spin when Julian shot up, fire flashed in his eyes. “Fuck you, Damon.” All laughter halted when he shoved him so hard, he stumbled into the crowd behind him.
“First you ditched us, and now, you’re gonna fight me over her, too?” He dusted off the sand splattering his clothes.
“I don’t want to fight you, D, but I will if you say one more thing about her. So what if our first date was because of a fucking bet? If you’re gonna laugh at anyone, laugh at me, because it was my idea. Go ahead. Laugh.” His last words were so dark and edged, it made everyone go still, even me.
“Let’s go, Camilla.” He reached out to me, and I took his hand without hesitation, as if it were a lifeline.
“JP! I’m sorry.” Even when Damon called after him, we walked further and further away until the crowd disappeared and his rage subsided. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I don’t even know who those people are anymore.” He sank into the sand in defeat while looking out at the peaceful ocean.
“It’s okay. Hell will freeze over the day I let a bunch of jocks get to me.” I said as I joined him.
“I’m embarrassed to call them my friends. I promise, I’m nothing like them.” There was desperation in his voice, as if he was begging me to believe him, and I surprised myself at how easily I did.
“I know you’re not.” A light in his eyes appeared after I’d said those words. “I am curious, though: why are you still friends with someone like Damon?”
It was more personal than we’d ever gotten, but he didn’t hesitate to answer. “If you really knew him growing up, you’d understand. I guess I keep waiting to see if he’ll turn back into the person he was before we got to high school.” Suddenly, I sympathized. I understood why he clung to his friendship when I imagined how I’d feel if one day, Taylor was unrecognizable after growing up with her practically our entire lives. I saw a softer side of him—a side that cared deeply about the people around him. “Thanks for defending me back there,” I said softly. No one had ever done something like that for me, and I didn’t take it lightly.
His frown disappeared. “Anytime.” Seeing a vulnerable side of him had me letting him see the same from me. “Come on. I want to show you something.”
“Where are we going?” he shouted as I pulled him through the heavy sand towards the closed-off area of the beach. We stopped where a grass hill as tall as some of the cliffs stood, and I ignored the no entry past this point sign like I always did and eagerly trailed ahead.
“What’s at the top?” His shaky breath told me he was nervous, which made me chuckle to myself. “Now it’s your turn to trust me, Perez.” As we started up the slippery hill, I felt a hint of satisfaction when he fell behind. “Aren’t you an athlete?” I shouted.
“Give me a break, Vega. I’m a football player, not a rock climber.” Laughter vibrated in my chest until I reached the top, and Julian followed shortly after, out of breath. Despite being there hundreds of times, I glowed at the sight in front of us. I accidentally stumbled upon the run-down house in the middle of a dead field a couple of years before. Just by looking at it, you could tell everyone in town had forgotten it existed. The paint was worn, the wood rotten beyond repair, and it was almost completely hidden behind overgrown trees. It always had potential to me, though.
“This isn’t creepy at all,” Julian muttered.
“You’re not the only one with a secret spot.” Not even Taylor knew about it, but I figured since he’d shown me his, it was only right he knew about mine.
“An abandoned house? You’re odder than I thought, Camilla Vega.”
I nudged him on the shoulder. “Take a second and picture it painted sage green with white trimming, a pebbled walkway with a garden of flowers surrounding it, and one of those wraparound porches with a swing bench.” I never planned on telling anyone my vision for the house, but the words just spewed out. The weird part was, I didn’t want to take them back.
“Sounds like you’ve given it a lot of thought.”
I felt the heat of him admiring me while I admired the house. “We all have dreams.”
“Your dream is to refurbish this house and settle in Willow’s Cove?”
“Is that such a bad thing?” All anyone talked about was leaving town and never coming back, but no matter how small it felt at times, I never saw leaving in the cards for me.
His gaze softened. “No, I just think there’s more out there than a small town like this has to offer.” Of course there was, but I’d learned to swim in its ocean; I’d checked out nearly every book in its local library; the house I grew up in was there. Willow’s Cove was home.
Without saying another word, I grabbed his hand and led him not too far from the house, where a hidden trail led down to a hollow cave. The mayor closed it off because of the sharp rocks, but I found a way to sneak in when I was fourteen. Not only was that part of the beach deserted, but it perfectly overlooked the beauty of the widespread ocean. I knew the water only reached a certain point on the sand even during high tide, so I ran freely while Julian stood back and watched. It was the only place I was truly invisible and felt the freest I’d ever felt. “I don’t see anything getting better than this,” I shouted as I ran barefoot through the sand without a care in the world.
“Do you just explore town and find hidden gems in your spare time, Camilla?” I looked over and memorized how perfect he looked under the moonlight as he grinned from ear to ear.
“When I’m not reading, maybe.” I followed his lead when he plopped down on the cushioned sand. “I snuck down here a few years ago during the sunset, and I’ve watched them here since. I realized how beautiful Willow’s Cove is instead of focusing on how small it feels.”
“Is that when you found the house?”
I met his dreamy gaze and nodded. “What’s your dream?” I asked to distract myself from the overwhelming need to close the small space between us.
“I want to travel. After that, I’m not sure. You’ll be the first to know when I figure it out, though.” I noticed when the sudden glint appeared in his eyes. “What?” I asked.
He gulped a lump in his throat. “Would you stop me if I tried to kiss you?” I’d never kissed anyone before Julian—shocker. The alarm going off in my head said kissing him would bury me, but every other instinct wanted him despite trying to deny it.
I got so close, our noses nearly touched. “I’m not sure. Try and find out.” I shuddered from his touch on my cheek, which made it painfully obvious I was inexperienced, but his shakiness told me he was just as nervous as me.
I thought I wouldn’t know what to do when it came time for my first kiss, but when Julian’s soft lips brushed against mine, it was like my body was already familiar with him. The kiss was tender, like the ocean’s breeze, and I was surprised at my willing response as he tangled his fingers in my hair and intensified our kiss.
I broke us apart but kept him close enough for his cologne to fill my nose. “I don’t think friends are supposed to do that.”His rich laughter rippled through me before he made my stomach somersault by placing a soft kiss on my forehead. “We’re not going to be friends, Mila. I’m just waiting for you to catch up.”
My face twisted. “What’d you call me?”
He touched a strand of my hair and grinned. “I was playing with a few nicknames in class and decided on Mila. I hope that’s okay.”
Mila. The name sounded perfect coming from his lips.