Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
Luc
T oo late to turn back now, I wove between tables, stoutly ignoring whatever obnoxious expression Kenny wore as we passed the Saint group and slipped out the pub’s door onto the sidewalk.
He knew where we were heading—what I was about to do. He and Stone hadn’t exactly cautioned me against it, but they’d expressed concern. I didn’t blame them—appreciated it, even. But it didn’t sway me from the task, undesirable though it was.
I’d set this in motion, and I wasn’t going to be the one to stop it.
I turned, slipping my hands into my pockets, and waited for her to stop. Happily, the spring air was cool, but not cold. Most of us had shunned jackets in favor of being layer-free after months of needing to bundle up. I’d never noticed it in North Carolina, but here it seemed to be a particular mountain-life sensibility that had people in T-shirts come the low fifties, and shorts not long after. The sky was still light enough as the sun set with pink streaks across a purple-dark palette.
She wore jeans that did very nice things for her legs, and a black top I wouldn’t allow myself to admire as much as I might like, with heels and her shoulder-length hair wavy and shining beautifully. Her lips were pouty with some kind of gloss I wanted to taste, and her eyes were stunningly vivid tonight.
She had never not looked beautiful, and tonight was no exception. She had always been alluring to me, but the kinship I felt with her in the way she kept herself walled off was what called to me.
Had I not heard her clearly state she had no interest in men more than once over the last year, I might’ve considered asking her out. But once I felt at home here and decided I didn’t want to keep taking overseas assignments, even that became untenable because I wasn’t in the market for someone long-term.
I knew what it looked like to lose someone, even though I’d watched it happen from a distance, and I couldn’t imagine opting into the possibility. Plus starting something with anything other than long-term in mind in a small town like this just didn’t make sense.
So. Enough with the starry eyes and back to the point.
“Thank you for stepping away with me for a moment,” I said, gut tight with dread at how this would all go down, but knowing I shouldn’t wait any longer. I had to do this… didn’t I?
Yes. I did. I’d decided. I wouldn’t walk this back.
“No problem. What… can I do for you?”
She crossed her arms and waited—not exactly in a defensive position but certainly not open. Not warm like she had been with her friends.
“I need to tell you something that will seem strange.”
She blinked. “Okay. Go ahead.”
“My… past. It’s… particular. And my family… is also particular.” I could practically hear Kenny jeering at me.
Way to go, man. Way to really lay out the truth of the matter!
Her brow furrowed. “Okay.”
She drew the word out, clearly confused about why I was telling her any of this. We’d hardly spoken, let alone about family dynamics.
Fair enough and exactly why I needed to cut the dramatic vaguery and get to the point.
“I don’t know how to put this delicately, so if you don’t mind, I’d just like to tell you,” I said, evaluating her with every word that came from my mouth.
Her defenses were up, but not sky high like they could be. She was curious. “That’s a good plan because I have no idea what’s going on.”
I exhaled through my nose, gut clenching tighter, and laid it out for her. “My family wants me to marry a woman from New York. It’s a complex situation. But I do not want that, and in order to avoid their pressure to do so, I have told them I’m engaged—or about to be.”
She blinked.
“To you,” I added, finally telling the whole truth.
Her jaw dropped a bit, and her eyes darted from side to side, then her mouth clamped shut. She studied me as though to determine whether I was joking, and finally said, “To—to me.”
I nodded.
“And you said that because…”
There might be a time for full honesty on this subject, but for now I would tell her the most basic version. “You’re a kind person and you’re well-liked amongst your friends. People who know you speak highly of you. As far as I’m aware, you’re single. And obviously, you make a perfect donut.”
In the dim light of the spring evening, I could see her cheeks pink, even as she said, “You told your family we’re engaged because I make good donuts?”
I swore and rushed to explain. “I didn’t give them any reasons. I simply gave your name. It really doesn’t matter, but I need to tell you since it does involve you, or at least, your name.”
“Why—” She shook her head like she was dizzy before continuing. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say right now.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “Understandable. I’ve been an idiot. I’m sorry.”
“Wait! The other day, you said… You said you were my boyfriend. Was that?—”
“Nothing to do with this,” I rushed to clarify. “It just—” I shrugged, thinking of a way to tell her that claiming her like I had a right to would be what made her slimeball of an ex loosen his hooks into her. “I wanted him gone. We both did.”
She nodded. “Yes. We did.”
“It wasn’t a test run.”
At this, she guffawed. “It would be a good idea for all parties involved to be on the same page, no?”
I winced. “You’re right. My bad. That was spur of the moment, obviously.”
Though we weren’t just talking of her ex now. It was everything.
“Can you just tell your family we broke it off or something?” she asked, bringing us back to the larger issue.
She looked pained, and I felt it like a jab straight to the diaphragm. Of course this wouldn’t be good news for her, and I hadn’t even explained the worst part.
“Ideally no. They’ll come to Silverton, see that you exist, be generally dismissive, and leave.” Best case scenario.
Maybe I should’ve mentioned the trust, but it could wait. No need to complicate things before she’d even agreed.
“So, you want them to continue thinking we’re engaged despite our having virtually zero relationship beyond me being your donut supplier?”
A small smile broke through the frustration welling up in me because this was something I liked about her. She had this sharp wit and humor, even when I’d presented her with a problem she shouldn’t have to deal with.
“I do want them to, yes. And I’m hoping you’d be willing to, at the very least, not instantly deny it if someone should ask you.” My throat tightened, and I exhaled slowly to calm my nerves. “I think I can avoid all but a brief meeting.”
I hoped. I would need to beg Aurelie for her help, but my sister would do it. I knew she would. And if her husband Michele came, we’d have reinforcements and distraction enough to keep Grand-père’s attention diverted.
“Oh. Wow. Okay.” She shifted on her feet and wobbled before righting herself.
My hand shot out, but I stopped just shy of grasping her arm to steady her, mindful not to touch her. “Are you alright?”
She folded her arms again. “Yes, I’m fine. It’s just… I’m not interested in dating. I don’t date, and I’m not going to start. So this is…”
“I know. I—I’m sorry. I’ve heard you say as much, and in some way, I thought maybe it was better to choose you than someone who might want something real. This way, it’s clear.” And I wouldn’t look too hard at the reasons I never even considered someone else. I wouldn’t let that nag at me, or make me feel foolish.
“I guess that makes sense. But… is there anything I can do? I mean, this is weird, definitely weird, but you seem…” Her lovely dark eyes slid over my face. “You seem stressed.”
A huffed laugh escaped.
She couldn’t possibly be real, could she? Was she actually standing here asking how I was doing when I’d just foisted this mess onto her shoulders?
“ T’inquiètes pas ,” I said. “Don’t worry, please. This is a mess of my own making.”
Our gazes held, the connection and her nearness causing my heart rate to triple as we stood there, not ending the conversation, but not continuing it.
There was more to discuss, of course, but now didn’t feel like the right time. I needed to give her space to absorb everything, and in that time, I needed to see what I could control.
Then I realized perhaps she was waiting for me to say more—to do something to end this.
But I couldn’t.
Not yet.
It made no sense, but being near her felt good—felt right in a way I’d never felt around anyone except Kenny and Stone and Beast, and even this was different. It was that same sense of understanding, and though I didn’t have a right to it, some part of me gripped it in an iron fist.
I’d finally found the ability to speak normally—or somewhat normally—in her presence. Until the last few days, I clammed up around her, likely thanks to a spike in adrenaline and a sense of foreboding. But I’d evidently pushed past that thanks to my stubborn determination to maintain my lie to my family. Seeing that jerk trying to lay a hand on her while she cowered into a brick wall had also loosed something in me. Of course it had, or I wouldn’t have claimed I was hers. Abandoning the mediocre conversational skills I’d rediscovered now felt like a cruel joke, even if this was dangerous territory.
“How are you? Not, about this.” I shook my head, an odd fluster of feelings piling up. “Has he been back?”
She swallowed, the long, smooth line of her throat working. “No.”
She gave me nothing more, and I had no right to the information, even though I wanted it. If he was bothering her, I wanted to take care of it. I’d seen no one else intervene on her behalf since I’d noticed the dynamic between them. I wanted to understand what was still linking her to him, why she would entertain him for even seconds, but again, it wasn’t my right.
Nor should I want it to be.
“He’s persistent, but I don’t think he’ll show up in person again.” Her mouth quirked into a smile. “I think you scared him.”
I shrugged one shoulder. “I regret nothing.”
Not true.
I regretted scaring her, but the smile told me enough. My threat to him hadn’t been what’d scared her as much as the whole situation.
“And Glazed? Do you love it still?”
She moved, almost flinched, at my question and leaned a shoulder against the brick wall next to us. “Of course.”
This woman was passion and drive. She was loving and bold. This answer held none of those things.
“Hmm.”
One brow raised. “Hmm what? You have something to say?”
I shrugged again. “I don’t know you well enough to be certain, but I suspect you aren’t being truthful.”
She gaped at me, then after a beat said, “You are not what I expected.”
Every ounce of my self-control activated in order to keep from stepping close, backing her against that wall, and lowering my lips to her ear and begging her to tell me what that meant. If I wasn’t what she expected, then that meant she’d expected something. Somehow, this struck me as an incredible leap forward from not thinking of me at all.
This didn’t matter in the scheme of things. She’d just made clear she didn’t want a relationship, and when I was thinking logically, neither did I. The wreckage love brought with it wasn’t something I wanted after witnessing my father, a man I’d loved and respected, become a useless jerk in the wake of losing my mother.
Now, the only important thing was getting through this. But it wouldn’t hurt if she liked the prospect of spending time with me to some degree.
“I hope you’re pleasantly surprised,” I offered, sounding miraculously nonchalant. She needn’t know how much I hoped we could make this work and convince my grandfather.
She laughed softly. “I don’t know what I am other than a stressed-out small business owner and, apparently, your fake fiancée.”
Dove Jensen’s blond locks caught my eye behind Elise, and she waved. “Everything okay out here?”
I gestured for Elise to head inside, not wanting to detain her any longer. If her friend was here to check on her, that likely meant none of them trusted me with her. I didn’t like this, though I respected it. Unlike the other Saint men save Stone, they didn’t know me very well. And we were done, at least for now.
“I’ll be in touch soon, if that’s alright?” I asked.
She glanced over her shoulder. “Sounds good.”
Once she was out of sight, I sent a text to Kenny notifying him I was leaving. I couldn’t stand at the table and laugh at jokes and pretend my attention was on anyone but the woman who’d just slipped back inside.
I needed time to think, and I needed to call my sister back tomorrow and get her advice right before I begged her to come distract my grandfather from the unsuspecting woman inside.
This hadn’t gone as terribly as I’d expected, which only spoke to Elise’s generosity.
Part of me chafed at that—she shouldn’t give me the time of day, let alone be asking how I was feeling about all of this. We hardly knew one another even if I felt… whatever this was for her. And yet another small part of me, perhaps the voice that’d spoken her name over the line to my grandfather in the first place… that voice was absolutely thrilled.