Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Luc
T he words chimed through me like they were on a different frequency, or like my body and mind understood them on every plane of existence.
My hands found her waist and something in me yelled, here’s where we live the dream as I jumped in right as her arms locked around my neck. I pulled back for a moment to make sure I hadn’t imagined the words, but when I saw her expression—the desire and request written plain as day—I leaned in.
All worry about the risk fell away. The implications evaporated from my mind. All that was left was the pure desire to do exactly as she asked. No more fake or real. No more putting on a show. Simply her wish as my command.
The first press of our lips was soft, so soft. It held all the care she deserved, every bit of tenderness I feared she’d never experienced. The second was a consolation, a gentle meeting. The third something longer, slightly more. I would take everything she would give but nothing she didn’t want me to have, and in as much as I wanted to kiss her , she had to lead. She had to show me what I could have.
The fourth kiss gave way—it broke past something in me when she opened to me, inviting me into more depth, more warmth, more heaven right here in this dimly lit hallway.
The soft carpet underneath me was what ultimately had me pulling back. I would kiss Elise Cordero until the sun came up, but it just didn’t fit. Not here, and not after what we’d just gone through.
Not with this needle of fear reminding me what happened to people who fell in love weaving its way into my side, begging for attention I wouldn’t give it.
She seemed to understand as I broke the connection between us, her wonderous dark eyes a little hazy and her focus soft.
“Home?” she asked, as though it was the most natural thing.
As though the two of us going home together was always what came next on nights like these. As though this wasn’t all a ruse, as proved by the kiss we’d shared. As though we both belonged there.
And so we went.
* * *
It might’ve seemed a simple thing to take one’s fiancée home, but the complexity hit in real time when we walked in the door. The wired energy coursing through my veins in the wake of our kiss had calmed only slightly on the drive home.
Home to where we were not only staying together, but would sleep side by side. Aurelie and Michele would likely take their time before they arrived, managing Grand-père and being as genial to Odette as possible before making their way here. God bless them.
Because we needed time—to more fully discuss what’d happened and to talk about that kiss.
It hadn’t been for practice, and it hadn’t been platonic or anything but a molten beginning of something I wanted more of. I hoped she felt the same.
And yet, the thought she might was utterly terrifying. Because that would open up a possibility I’d shut down for so, so long. I knew how to navigate this whole thing when it was fake. Not when it became all too real.
Did it mean I’d forgotten all of this was only temporary? A fake solution to a problem?
No. I hadn’t forgotten. But I’d start to wonder… what if?
What if we didn’t stop everything once my family left? What if we let ourselves linger over each other, take our time and see if, maybe, out of this foolish choice of mine, something good might emerge?
Seeing Aurelie and Michele had a way of reminding me of both what our father had lost and how we’d not only mourned our mother but the loss of him because he’d completely unraveled when she passed, but also making me long.
Seeing Beast and Jess did this. Watching Bruce and Nikki, Tristan and Winnie, Jo and Adam, Wilder and Sarah, the Washingtons, and even the glimpses of Liz and Kenny I’d gotten… witnessing their love had needled into me and made me want.
I’d crushed the impulse, having promised myself a long time ago I wasn’t going to fall prey to the kind of agony I’d watched ruin my father. Because I knew I was like him, totally his son where matters of the heart were concerned. We Devereaux men fell and fell hard—love was all or nothing, life or death, ecstasy or agony. No in between. We didn’t do that, didn’t know how to.
Now I’d set myself up with a woman I’d thought was untouchable, but was she? Was she really? The confusing mix of hope and fear mingled in me and spread out to each of my limbs.
There it was again, a pang of something like longing for more and yet, a pain knuckling against the bones of my sternum. A harsh, vivid feeling attempting to force my face into the reality that my grandfather not only didn’t care for my choices but didn’t know me. And neither did my father. And while I was lying to her, neither did my sister.
But I was working toward a place where at least my grandfather would have a chance to, if he wanted to take it. Losing my maternal grandmother had reminded me he was all I had left of that generation. He wouldn’t be around forever. I wanted to repair this with him, to have something of a relationship before his time was gone. I hoped he would, but after tonight, it seemed hard to imagine. Aurelie would, for sure, once all this was over.
That maybe, right now, the person who was coming to know me in the purest sense might be Elise.
In fact, it was Elise. She’d seen me grapple with my grandfather, my past, my service, and even the parts of me I was working to make peace with. She could laugh with me, then at me when I was being an ass. She was a spring breeze and morning sun and every little wildflower that would soon bloom in the fields at the base of Silver Ridge Peak.
I didn’t want to think of that for another second and thankfully, there were more immediate matters to attend to.
Inside, we both went to the bedroom to change clothes, and my pulse quickened the instant we both stood there realizing this was a shared space.
Then I cleared my throat and grabbed some clothes from the dresser. “I’ll change in the bathroom—think I’ll grab a quick shower. Take your time.”
“Could you help?” she asked, turning and lifting her hair.
My throat convulsively swallowed. “Of course.”
Tugging at the little zipper, I slid it down over the first ridge of her spine, then the next, down between her shoulder blades and all the way to her lower back. The dress gaped just enough for me to see inches of her smooth skin uninterrupted by anything all the way down to a glimpse of black lace toward the bottom, the fine curves and lines of her bones and skin and a constellation of freckles so beautiful I had to forcibly keep myself from pressing my lips to each one.
“Voilà,” I said, clearing my throat and turning instantly toward the door for fear of losing my grip on logic.
Inside the bathroom with the door firmly closed instead of wedged open like I’d momentarily imagined doing, I shrugged out of my suit and made quick work of a shower. No allowing myself any time to think about Elise right outside slipping out of that gorgeous black dress, or what more hid underneath the fabric.
What I’d seen was beautiful, but it was no surprise. Everything about Elise was beautiful, from, yes, her physical appearance, to the way she considered others. Her work ethic, her drive, her passion for her store and the quality of her product but also her friends.
Her kiss. Now that was a beautiful thing, too.
I scrubbed a towel over my hair to dry it and took a moment to focus before I left the bathroom. At some point, Aurelie and Michele would be back. We still needed to have something to eat, and I had another long day tomorrow before the gala. Another evening seated next to my grandfather and Odette since he’d bought a table, and then we’d be free.
“What’s wrong?” Elise asked as she opened the fridge and pulled a carton of eggs out.
“I—” My mouth shut as I searched for words. I couldn’t tell her how I’d wanted her to join me in the shower, or how I’d wanted to slip my hands into that dress and—no. That would do nothing to help the situation.
“My grandfather only sees me as someone who’s failed his checklist. He’s got a standard I haven’t lived up to, and while I’ve chosen not to, it hurts. He wasn’t always so hard with us—exacting in some ways, yes, but he was… at one point, he was simply Grand-père, too. I fear I’ve only made that version of him disappear faster.”
She rinsed her hands and rounded the counter to look me in the eye and revealing fire in her own gaze.
“I know you’ve not been perfect, but you’re not giving yourself enough credit.”
I grumbled pathetically. “I’ve given myself more credit than he ever will.”
“I can imagine wanting him to accept you, but please don’t diminish what you’ve done. You could’ve lived a life of incredible ease but instead, you chose to serve. And not just do a quick tour—you spent years in an elite unit doing… well, aside from breaking and entering, probably some important stuff, right? Getting bad guys and… saving people?”
Bon sang , this woman was adorable. “There were bad guys neutralized and yes, we saved people, too.”
That’d always been my favorite, and in some ways, my forte. Getting into a building covertly and saving someone before the bad guys ever knew and then eliminating them? Even more fun.
“That matters. That’s honorable. And not only that, but you’re now part of a community. You’ve helped and protected some of my friends. You—you’ve made Jenna Halter feel safe! I mean, I don’t know that for sure, but I guess I assume if Bruce keeps assigning you to her, it means she thinks you do a decent job and she trusts you.”
Her voice rose and her cheeks were flushed with the impassioned tone, and I could no longer sit with the poor me feelings that’d been trying to surface. I simply slipped a hand around the back of her head and drew her in, taking her lips with mine.
One quick peck, and I backed away, remembering myself. “This okay?”
“Yes,” was all breath, but I heard it and took it as law, instantly returning to kiss her again, deepening the pressure with a ravenous kind of hunger I hadn’t allowed our earlier kiss to acquire.
Her hands slipped into my hair, and our bodies were flush. I was seconds away from hoisting her up when the front door swung open, and a sharp gasp followed by a low giggle hit my ears and must’ve met Elise’s, too, because we jumped apart.
Only one man giggled quite like that, and turning to glance at the front door, sure enough, there was Michele, Aurelie, and somehow, Kenny and Liz.