Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Luc
W aking up to an empty bed felt like a cruel joke after the night Elise and I had.
And no, it wasn’t the one I would’ve liked to have. At least, not all of it.
Her cookies were delicious and her response to my question a dream. My sister and brother-in-law arriving exactly when we were coming together on the same page felt more than a little cruel, and yet, it’d likely saved us from rushing things.
Not that we wouldn’t have savored every second.
But the time with Aurelie and Michele had been nothing short of beautiful. Elise and Aurelie had clicked at some point and seemed to genuinely enjoy each other. Michele was, as always, charming and fun. Spending time with the three of them made my whole house full and vibrant. Sitting there with two of my favorite people, and a woman who was rapidly becoming another one—maybe my very favorite— I felt full.
We talked and laughed and paired the chocolate chip cookies with a nice Banyuls wine my sister smuggled into the country on their private plane, the red wine and perfect dessert heightening everything—the laughter, the bliss, the satisfaction in the company.
Could I have more of that? I’d asked Elise if she wanted more with me—more than a charade. And she’d said yes.
We’d get a little more time, enjoy this a bit more. It’d be beautiful while it lasted.
Then last night… the way we all meshed; it gave me a glimpse.
She knew Kenny and Beast already, loved most of my friends’ partners, and if she got to know Stone, she’d love him, too. The vision of having this family I’d made for myself here paired with my sister, and adding Elise?
It was nearly more than I could bear, particularly paired with the overwhelming longing I felt as I woke up and didn’t get to see her next to me. A cruel hallucination of a life I couldn’t allow for myself, though I’d let myself fantasize about it a while longer. Until we were really done.
Yes, I wanted Elise. I wanted to worship her body and show her how much I cared for her. I wanted to explore everything together. But I also simply wanted to be near her. I’d wanted that for far longer than I’d been willing to admit to myself until just recently, but Kenny and Dorian had seen right through me. They’d known. Even Jude had taken one long look and huffed, like it had been a predetermined conclusion.
Yes. I loved donuts. But not that much.
Since I’d been deprived of seeing her and I didn’t have to be at work for another hour, I arrived at Glazed a little after eight. Elise typically opened at seven on weekdays so she caught the breakfast crowd, and when I wandered in at five after eight, her line was nearly to the door.
One look at her face as she spoke to the customer she was helping, and I knew something was wrong. Catching her attention as I moved inside and stood to the side of the line, my heart squeezed when I saw the way her eyes glistened with tears.
“What is it?” I asked as she ducked to get donuts, low enough so others wouldn’t overhear.
She sniffed and didn’t look at me again as she loaded a box full of a dozen beautiful-looking donuts.
“One of my fridges went down so I lost a bunch of ingredients and Marisol called in sick. She was supposed to be working out here while I filled a special order, and I don’t know how I’m going to do it since all of a sudden there are tons of people coming in.” She blinked down into the box for a second, then summoned a smile. “Great problem to have but… crap day for it.”
I wanted to hug her so much, but instead, I slipped past the counter and into the kitchen toward the sink. I scrubbed my hands and found a spare apron, emerging just in time to see her holding another box made for a dozen.
“Let me take that. Give me the run down on the register when the crowd dies down and then I’ll deal with this while you get to the special order.”
Her mouth dropped open, then pressed closed, lips disappearing like she might burst. She nodded, then turned and beamed at the customer. “Luc will help you with that if you’ll step right over and tell him what you’d like.”
And so went the next fifteen minutes. When the crowd dissipated, she showed me the computer system but only after I promised her I could be late to work. Her store would only be open for another hour and a half, and I could be that late.
“I don’t know how I’ll thank you for this,” she said, wrapping her arms around me for a quick hug.
Before she pulled away, I dropped a kiss to her temple. “No need.”
She raised an unimpressed brow. “Pretty sure calling into work warrants thanks, at the very least.”
Unable to resist additional contact but knowing I shouldn’t kiss her at work, I nudged her chin up and brushed my nose against hers. “How about it’s a small form of repayment for dealing with my family?”
She chuckled and patted her hand against my chest over the logo embroidered on the apron I now wore. The sincerity in her eyes and voice rang loud and clear when she said, “Thank you.”
Slipping past me into the back, she gave me one last soft look so full of gratitude, it almost made me angry. This was simple, this helping her. Was having a supportive partner so foreign to her?
Everything I’d done in the context of that rat’s tail Callum felt even more fitting.
The bell above the door rang as Kenny pushed through the door and, to my surprise, Dorian followed.
“Well, well, well, look at the new sexy donut man! Had I known they hired former model Euro-princes, I would’ve been in here sooner!” Kenny winked in his obnoxious way.
Behind him, Dorian’s face held mild amusement and almost none of the nerves I’d come to expect from him when he came to town. He’d made his home a little farther out than the rest of us and worked part-part-time for Saint Security, primarily consulting and occasionally surveilling. He tended to exclude himself from any of the large gatherings or events, though once or twice he’d participated. I’d never figured out if it was because he’d offered or because Bruce and Wilder had begged, but we all knew they wouldn’t ask him if he wasn’t doing well.
Him wandering in so casually, even if it was with Kenny, meant good things. It didn’t exactly shock me because he’d seemed good, but it was just so… normal.
“Are we going to keep on with the prince thing?”
Kenny smirked. “Only as long as you are one.”
I rolled my eyes, then looked to Stone for help.
He shrugged, clearly enjoying the harassment.
“Fine. What can I get you two?”
Kenny leaned an elbow on the glass case and stared down. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d pressed his whole cheeseball face into it like a sad puppy, but before I could say as much, he grinned. “Plain glazed for me and I’ll take another for m’lady.”
Valiantly, I didn’t roll my eyes, and instead took a waxed paper sack and retrieved the donuts.
“One of the specials. Maybe a glazed, too.” Stone squinted at the menu, then eyed the case. There were still five or six flavors left, but normally, she offered upwards of twelve options on weekdays and often more on weekends. I wondered whether we’d start seeing donuts at our afternoon teas soon.
I retrieved his donuts and passed them over, then rang them each up. Kenny chattered on about the absolute nothing happening at work now that most of the celebrities had left in the wake of the gala, and Stone observed in that quiet but alert way he had.
Foolishly, I thought maybe we’d make it out of the exchange without addressing the glaring situation, but no such luck. After eating his donut in three large bites, Kenny brushed off his fingers on a little napkin and tilted his head in a way that said I was in for it.
“So…”
I glanced at the doorway to the kitchen, then widened my eyes in warning. “So.”
Kenny’s Cheshire grin had my stomach tightening with dread. Would he draw attention to the fact that I’d called out of work in a rather uncharacteristic way and that I was clearly in deep with this woman while she stood not twenty feet away and could likely hear him?
Granted, I’d told her I cared about her and made it quite clear I wanted anything she’d give me for the time being, so maybe it wasn’t that bad?
But Kenny, like he sometimes did and didn’t get nearly enough credit for, took the high road. His smile softened into something still joyous but also deeply genuine. “You talked?”
The smile pulling at my own lips was unavoidable. I couldn’t pretend the way things had gone were anything less than better than I’d hoped. “We did.”
It wasn’t the happily ever after Kenny would want for us, sure, but it’d gone well. I’d seen the way her breath had hitched and how she’d frozen when I asked if she still didn’t want anything. I’d seen the signs. She didn’t want to tell me no, and so I’d adjusted on the fly. No more a suggestion of forever—a suggestion of real-while-it-lasts. She’d said she wanted more for now and that was… perfect. Exactly what I’d wanted, in a way.
The sliver of something sharp that jimmied its way between my ribs meant nothing.
Inconceivably, his smile grew to meme-like proportions. “Good.”
I nodded, praying that’d be the end of it. Because while Elise had said she wanted more, I didn’t want her feeling like I’d been gabbing to my friends about her or me or us… I just didn’t want any pressure on her.
Stone nodded, the closest thing to a smile on his face, too, and the familiar glow of their friendship warmed me.
“Thanks.” They knew I meant for their support and for not making it a big thing.
Kenny winked as Stone exited, then turned to me but spoke far too loudly and said, “Now go see if your new girlfriend needs help frosting her donuts, if that’s what the kids are calling it these days…” And with a childish little waggle of his brows, he left.
I turned to see Elise standing there wide-eyed, and then we both burst out laughing.