Chapter Thirty
Trojan Horse
Ariana
Present
Nathan’s voice washed over the crowd like white noise.
I knew, distantly, what he was saying — something about donor generosity, something about community impact, something about how we couldn’t do this without you.
But it was all muted.
I stood at his side, my hand resting lightly on his arm, smiling when I was supposed to, nodding along as if I weren’t hearing the same speech he’d been giving in slightly different variations for years.
I chimed in at the right moments — thanking benefactors by name, laughing softly at the right jokes, letting my gaze linger on familiar faces just long enough to seem engaged.
I played my part perfectly.
Inside, I felt hollow.
The ballroom glittered around us — crystal chandeliers, polished marble floors, gowns and tuxedos and champagne flutes catching the light — but all I wanted was for it to end. I longed for the night to be over, for the weight in my chest to loosen just enough that I could breathe again.
I wanted to go home.
My stomach twisted when I realized I never could again.
Home didn’t exist anymore. It was just a house that didn’t feel like mine, walls that closed in instead of sheltering, silence that felt loud with things I wasn’t allowed to say. There was no room in it for me unless I stayed small, pleasant, and useful.
I swallowed hard, my smile never faltering even as I felt my soul dying within me.
Nathan kept on as I took a half a step to stand behind him.
I stayed close enough to look united, but inched far enough away that no one would notice how rigid I felt, how carefully I held myself together.
My feet ached in my heels. The sheer train of my dress brushed against my calves when I shifted my weight, and I found myself wishing it were a real cape, that I was a superhero somehow, that I could morph into someone else in that very moment.
If I could’ve slipped out of my own skin, I would have.
Applause rippled through the room, and I clapped along with it, my palms meeting softly and mechanically. Nathan leaned toward me, murmuring, “Good job, sweetheart,” as his hand settled at my lower back in a gesture that looked affectionate and felt like a reminder.
I was aware of him constantly: where he stood, who he was watching, how close he kept me.
As soon as we were off stage, we were surrounded. People flooded to Nathan’s side like they had since the day I met him. He was magnetic like that, everyone drawn to his charm the same way I’d been.
I felt like a sucker now, and I couldn’t help but think they were all suckers, too.
My cheeks hurt from the smile I forced as each person who surrounded us praised Nathan, shaking his hand like he was the goddamn president. I was an afterthought, of course, but I still smiled when they acknowledged me.
“Ariana,” a bright voice cut in.
I blinked out of my haze, ears clearing like I’d just emerged from being underwater.
Grace appeared at Nathan’s side with Maven just behind her, both of them beaming like this was the most natural interruption in the world even as the group of highly prestigious benefactors eyed them curiously, like they weren’t sure what to make of them until they figured out how much money they had.
“You did wonderful on stage,” Maven said, smiling at me brightly. I thought I saw something calculated in that smile when she turned to Nathan. “As did you, Mr. Black.”
“Truly. You’ve been amazing, Mr. Black,” Grace gushed. “The donors are eating this up. We’ve already been asked if the gala will be an annual event. They love the holiday cheer of it all.”
Maven nodded enthusiastically. “Sweet Dreams wouldn’t be what it is without you. We’re so lucky the team brought you in this season.”
Nathan preened just a fraction, the tension in his shoulders easing as he accepted the praise. “That’s very kind of you,” he said smoothly. “It’s been a team effort.”
“Well,” Grace said, looping her arm through mine before I could react, “we were hoping to steal Ariana for just a minute.”
Maven leaned in conspiratorially. “There’s a photo booth set up near the back, and we really want pictures of the women who put this whole thing together. You know — for memories.”
Nathan hesitated.
I felt it immediately — the way his grip tightened at my back, the way his gaze slid to my face, sharp and assessing. It was a silent question, a thinly veiled warning.
My pulse kicked up, my smile threatening to crack.
Then he laughed lightly, glancing around at all the affluent people he desperately wanted to impress who were very obviously watching him. “Of course,” he said, gracious as ever. “Go ahead, darling. Have fun.”
His hand slipped from my back with a kiss against my temple, but his eyes didn’t soften when they found mine.
“Just don’t take too long,” he added, voice pleasant, pleasant, pleasant even as it sent chills down my spine. “We’ll need to get back on stage soon to announce the final number of the night.”
My chest constricted as I managed a nod.
Grace squeezed my arm. “We’ll be quick,” she said breezily. “Promise.”
Maven added, “You won’t even miss her.”
They didn’t give him the chance to change his mind.
They threaded their arms through mine, steering me away with laughter and light chatter, the sound of the crowd swallowing us as we moved deeper into the room.
“You okay?” Maven asked quietly once we were out of earshot.
“What?” I replied automatically. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
The words came out flat. Empty.
Grace clicked her tongue softly. “Ari. Don’t do that. Not with us.”
I opened my mouth to argue, to insist I was okay, really, but my lip betrayed me, trembling before I could stop it. Heat burned behind my eyes, and suddenly everything felt too tight — my dress, my chest, the night itself.
Maven stopped walking. Grace did, too. “Oh, honey,” Maven said, her voice so full of concern it broke me. “Come here.”
They wrapped their arms around me, quick and fierce, like they were afraid I might vanish if they didn’t hold on. It took every ounce of willpower I possessed not to completely fall apart in their arms.
They see it.
They see me.
I inhaled shakily. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or fucking terrified.
“Okay,” Grace murmured. “Okay. You’re okay. All right? We’re here. You’re not alone.”
I didn’t know what to do, what to say. I stood stock-still where they held onto my arms after pulling back from the hug.
Maven glanced over my shoulder, scanning the room. “He’s not looking.”
Then she nudged me gently — but firmly — toward the photo booth curtains.
“Go,” she whispered. “Just for a second. We’ll keep an eye out and pull you when it’s time.”
I frowned. “What—”
The curtain parted.
And there was Shane.
It was the first time I’d seen him since he held me, since his lips were on mine, since I ripped away from him knowing I couldn’t have what he was offering, that we couldn’t take what would ruin us both.
The sight of him now had my heart in my throat.
His hair was styled, perfectly placed, but one rogue strand fell over his forehead. I longed to sweep it away. He wore a tailored charcoal suit, the silver threads of it bringing out the gray in his blue eyes. Those eyes were wide and fixed on me, a thousand questions within them.
He smiled, the corner of his lips tilting up as he made room for me next to him on the small bench.
That smile knocked me back to 2006.
Why was it that my heart clung to that time in my life so fiercely, to the boy who grew into the man before me now? A whole life, I’d lived, and yet nothing made me ache inside the way those two years with him did.
Is that what it meant to have a soul mate?
Did the universe really know I belonged to him in a way I couldn’t anyone else? Did it remind me every time I was near him, daring me to leap into the timeline I was meant to live in and abandon the wrong path I’d somehow stumbled so far down?
“Go,” Grace whispered, and with a little nudge of encouragement from her, I slipped inside the booth.
The curtain dropped behind me, the sound of the gala dulling behind it. I didn’t realize how hard I was breathing until that very moment, until my chest heaved, and my ragged breaths lingered in the quiet space between us.
Shane’s eyes flicked between mine, his brows pinching together, throat constricting as he swallowed.
Carefully, slowly, he lifted one hand, his fingers catching my hair and brushing it back as he framed my face.
His thumb lined my jaw, his fingers curling against my scalp, and tears flooded my eyes instantly.
“Oh, baby,” Shane said, his voice soft and tinged with pain.
The words broke me, and then his lips were on mine.
His other hand came up to join the first, holding me to him as he kissed me long and soft and sweet. There was no passionate urgency like there had been the last time. There was no hesitation or question of permission.
And maybe it was because he knew, just like I did, that the permission was already granted.
I was his to kiss, even if I could never be his at all. My heart beat for him the way his was bound to mine. It didn’t matter if timing and circumstance were against us, if we were locked inside a reality where we couldn’t exist together. We still did. We had to. There was no other choice.
I broke our kiss with a sob breaking free, my hands clutching at the lapels of his suit jacket as I pressed our foreheads together. “I don’t know how I got here,” I whispered. “I… I can’t believe I’m… I’m in the same…”
“Don’t do that,” Shane said, shaking his head. He kissed my forehead before pressing his against mine once more. “This is not your fault. You hear me? This is not on you. And you don’t have to face it alone.”
“I’m scared.”
The admission leaked out of me in a strained whisper, making fresh tears flood my eyes. Now that I’d voiced it, I’d freed it. The fear and shame burst from the cage I’d locked them in and attacked me, fierce and merciless.
“I know,” he said, his fingers curling in my hair. “I know. But you don’t have to be. Not anymore.”
“How did you know?”
He pulled back, his eyes searching mine. “I didn’t. I still don’t. I won’t until you let me in and tell me everything. But I… I sensed it. I felt it, Ari.” He swallowed. “That’s how it’s always been with us, hasn’t it? Since the first moment we met. I felt you. And you felt me.”
I rolled my lips together, nodding, and when I closed my eyes tightly, more tears rushed down my face.
“But there’s nothing we can do. He… he owns me, Shane.
He’s tied up in every aspect of my life.
And you,” I added, touching his face with reverence like I didn’t want to point out what he might not have yet realized.
“If he even knew we dated two decades ago, you’d lose your job. You’d lose hockey.”
“I don’t care.”
I stilled, my mouth hanging open. “I… of course, you—”
“I don’t.” He cut me off with a stern shake of his head, his hands still holding me to him. “Ari, I don’t fucking care. Whatever knots he has you tied in, I’ll untangle them. If he loses his shit and fires me, so be it.”
For twenty years, I’d carried a truth I never questioned: that hockey had always come first for Shane. That loving me had been real, but temporary. That when forced to choose, he’d chosen the game, the grind, the future he could see — and left me behind because I hadn’t fit into it.
I’d made peace with that. Or told myself I had.
But since discovering there was more to it than that, since I realized he left because he truly felt it was the best thing for me, it had me questioning that truth I’d held onto for so long.
And hearing this now — feeling the way his hands tightened on me, like he was afraid I might disappear if he loosened his grip — it was a balm pressed to a wound I’d learned to live with.
Something inside me ached, sharp and tender all at once, like scar tissue that would always be there, but was finally fading enough for me to heal.
“Shane…” I said his name breathlessly, disbelief heavy in my exhale.
“None of it matters. Do you hear me?” He bent his forehead to mine, kissing me long and hard before repeating himself.
“None of it matters more than you. It never has. I made a mistake twenty years ago. I walked away because I thought it was the right thing to do, but I was wrong. You are the only thing right in my life. You are what matters most. And now that I have you back, I will fight with everything I have left in me to keep you. Okay? I will go to war. I will burn it all down. I will die for your happiness and safety if that’s what it takes. ”
Grace peeked inside the curtain. “I’m sorry, but we’re running out of time. He’s on the hunt. Maven went to distract him with Vince but…” She tapped her wrist before closing the curtain.
My heart leaped into my throat again, this time beating so hard I thought I might pass out.
Shane saw the fear in my eyes and took a deep breath, steadying me with his exhale as he framed my face again. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but I need you to trust me. Okay? Everything is going to be all right. I have a plan.”
“A plan?”
He nodded, and then with a cleared throat from outside the curtain, he cursed, kissing me urgently.
“We can’t talk tonight. Go home. Do what you have to do to survive. I’ll get a message to you tomorrow.”
“How?”
“Just trust me,” he said, and then with one final kiss, he was ushering me out of the booth with reluctance pulsing through his hands into mine. “And Ari?”
I turned, glancing over my shoulder before I drew the curtain open.
“If anything happens tonight, if you need me… don’t hesitate. Call me. I mean it. We all mean it when we say we’re in this with you. Just call, and I’ll come. You don’t even have to say a word. I’ll know.”
“I’ll be fine,” I assured him. “He has me under his thumb, so he’s not threatened.” I shrugged at that, a pathetic smile on my lips. “He’s won and he knows it.”
Shane’s nostrils flared.
“He thinks he’s won,” he corrected. “But we’ve got a Trojan horse, Ari. We just need him to open the gates.”