Chapter 15 #2
Cal said something funny to his aunt, and his chest rumbled against my back. I turned my head to look at him. He was laughing, his eyes crinkled, looking down at me with an expression so open, so full of affection, that it knocked the wind out of me.
Oh.
It hit me like a physical blow. A wall of realization slamming into me.
I love him.
It wasn’t a question like it was in Scotland. It wasn’t a maybe. It was a terrifying, euphoric certainty. I was in love with Callum Kincaid.
Panic flared in my chest, an anxious spiral threatening to choke me. I can’t do this. I’m going to ruin this. He’s the sun and I’m just… me. But I hid it. I forced a smile, leaned back into his hold, and let his arms be the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
The snow had started up again by the time we left.
The car ride home was quiet, intimate.
“Murran called,” I said, breaking the silence, my voice sounding loud in the dark car.
Cal glanced over. “Yeah?”
I told him everything. The phone call. The push. The Front Lines creative team thinking I was ready. The paralyzing nerves.
“Si…” Cal breathed, reaching over to squeeze my neck. “That is huge. You deserve this.”
“I don’t know if I can handle the pressure,” I admitted, staring at the wiper blades fighting the snow.
Cal’s hand tightened on my neck, possessive and reassuring. “You won’t be doing it alone. I’ll be here every step of the way, Si. I promise.”
He meant it. I could feel it.
When we got to Cal’s apartment, the world outside disappeared. It was just us.
We moved slowly, shedding the day as we walked through the door.
Cal took my hand and led me to the shower.
We stood under the spray for what felt like forever, just touching.
Existing. He washed my back, his hands soapy and reverent; I washed his chest, tracing the ink on his skin.
It was silent, but the air was thick with a heat that had nothing to do with the water.
When we finally stumbled into the bedroom, Cal didn’t let me go.
“Bed,” he growled against my lips.
He pushed me down onto the mattress, following me instantly. But he didn’t just climb on top. He reached for his leather belt he’d discarded on the floor.
“Hands,” he ordered, his voice rough, eyes dark with intent.
My breath hitched, but I lifted my arms above my head. Cal bound my wrists to the headboard, the leather biting into my skin just enough to ground me. He stepped back for a second, looking at me, spread out, vulnerable, completely at his mercy.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.
He crawled up the bed, moving over me, kissing my chest, my stomach. Then he reached for the lube on the nightstand. He coated his fingers, his eyes never leaving mine as he moved between my legs.
He pressed one finger inside, then two, stretching me slowly. I gasped, my hips bucking off the mattress, chasing the sensation. He knew exactly where to touch, exactly how to curl his fingers to hit that sweet spot that made my vision blur.
“You’re so loose for me,” Cal murmured, adding a third finger, working my hole open. “So fucking greedy.”
I was panting, sweat slicking my skin. I looked down at him, at the hungry set of his jaw, and I made a decision. A dangerous one.
“Cal,” I gasped. “Don’t use a condom.”
Cal froze. His fingers stopped moving inside me. He looked up, his eyes blown wide, searching my face.
“Si…” he warned, his voice straining.
“I mean it,” I whispered, my heart hammering against my ribs like a trapped bird. “I’m clean. I know you are. I want… I want to feel you. All of you. No barriers.”
Cal swallowed hard, the muscles in his throat working. “You sure? There’s no going back after that.”
“I’m sure,” I begged, pulling uselessly at the belt binding my wrists. “Please, Cal. I need you inside me. Skin to skin.”
“Fuck,” Cal groaned, a low, animalistic sound. “Beg me for it, Si.”
“Please,” I whined, my hips lifting, seeking him. “Please put your cock inside me. Please, Cal. Cum inside me.”
Cal didn’t wait another second. He lined himself up, the broad head of his cock pressing against my entrance.
“Look at me,” he demanded.
I locked eyes with him.
He pushed in.
God.
It was different. It was shockingly, beautifully different. Without the latex, the sensation was electric. I felt every part of him, the texture, the ridge of him sliding directly against my insides. It felt raw. It felt like he was rearranging my soul, claiming parts of me I didn’t know existed.
“Fuck,” I gasped, a tear leaking from my eye at the sheer intensity of it.
“You feel…” Cal gritted his teeth, veins popping in his neck as he sank all the way in. “Fuck, baby. You feel unbelievable. You’re gripping me so tight.”
Every thrust was a declaration. And every move was incredible, skin dragging against skin, slick and agonizingly perfect. I whined high in my throat, straining against the belt.
“Cal! Please!”
“I’ve got you,” he panted, leaning down to bite the junction of my neck and shoulder.
He picked up the pace, the slap of skin against ass filling the room. He was hitting me deep, hitting my prostate in a way that made my toes curl. But it wasn’t enough. I needed to see him. I needed to be closer.
“Untie me,” I gasped, tugging at the leather. “Cal, let me go.”
He paused, breathing hard, his hips still grinding against mine. “Why?”
“I want to ride you,” I confessed, my voice wrecked. “I want to look at you when you cum inside of me. I need to see your face.”
Cal undid the belt with fumbling, desperate fingers. As soon as I was free, I grabbed his shoulders and flipped us, straddling his hips. I sank down onto him, taking his cock deeper than before, feeling it bottom out inside me.
Cal threw his head back against the pillow, a groan ripping from his throat.
“Christ, Silas. You take it so deep.”
I set the rhythm, grinding down on him, watching his face twist in pleasure. I rode him hard, leaning forward to kiss him, our sweat mingling. It was messy and desperate and the most intimate thing I had ever done.
“Cum for me,” he ordered, his hands bruising on my hips, helping me drive down.
I screamed his name, my body seizing as the orgasm ripped through me. Cal followed me instantly, his hips bucking up off the mattress as he poured himself inside me. The feeling of him spilling inside of me, filling me up with his warmth, dragging me over the edge with him, broke me completely.
We lay there for a long time, me collapsed on top of his chest, our hearts hammering against each other in sync. He didn’t pull out, staying connected, keeping me close, his hand stroking up and down my spine.
Eventually, we cleaned up and curled back into the sheets. Cal pulled me against him, his arm heavy over my waist like a shield.
Minutes later, his breathing evened out. He was asleep.
The room was quiet, save for the hum of the heater and the wind outside. I carefully turned in his arms to face him. The moonlight washed over his features, making him look younger, softer.
I reached out, my fingers trembling as I traced the line of his jaw, down to the pulse beating in his neck.
“I love you,” I whispered into the darkness, the confession heavy on my tongue. “All I’ve ever wanted is this. Right here.”
I closed my eyes, and the image flooded my mind again, the porch, the house, the laughter. The quiet mornings with coffee I had imagined earlier.
“I want a life with you, Cal,” I whispered to his sleeping form, my voice cracking. “But I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to be a boyfriend or maybe…a husband one day. My dad, he didn’t teach me how to build a home. He only taught me how to survive the storm.”
I leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to his forehead, feeling the sting of tears in my eyes.
“But I want to find a way. Because when I think of a future now… all I see is that porch you wanted. I see the quiet mornings. I see us. And for you, I’m going to figure it out.”