Year Two - The Reed Land, North Carolina
Now playing: So Low - Koe Wetzel
The garage sat at the far back of the property, a massive, corrugated metal beast that housed the ring my dad and uncle had trained in for thirty years. It smelled like canvas, sweat, old oil, and history.
I hadn’t stepped foot inside since the day I came home.
But tonight, a storm was rolling in off the coast. The rain was hammering the tin roof like gunfire, drowning out the thoughts in my head. I stood there in the dark, the humid air sticking to my skin.
I was wearing the hoodie. It was still oversized, the faded white NO ONE LIKE US lettering spanning the back. Reminding me it was the one he liked me to wear when we were alone.
It didn’t smell like him anymore. The scent of his expensive cologne and body wash had faded years ago, replaced by dust and my own despair. But wearing it was the only way I could breathe. It was a hug from a ghost.
The metal door creaked open behind me, slicing a wedge of yellow light across the dusty canvas floor.
“Silas?”
I turned slowly. Maverick and Scott were standing there, gym bags over their shoulders. They looked weary, but hopeful. They had come to train.
“Hey,” Dad said softly, stepping inside out of the rain. “You… you want to run some ropes? Just get the blood moving? Scott thinks it might help the stiffness.”
I opened my mouth to say no. I wanted to say leave me alone. But nothing came out. The dam I had built for a year suddenly cracked.
A sob ripped through my chest, so violent and sudden it nearly doubled me over.
“I can’t,” I choked out, tears hot and fast on my face. “I can’t do it.”
“It’s okay,” Maverick said, rushing forward, dropping his bag.
“It’s not okay!” I screamed, the guilt finally exploding out of me like shrapnel. “I ruined it! I ruined everything! I ended Martinez’s career! I broke his fucking back and I broke myself and I…”
I broke Cal’s heart.
I sank to the concrete floor, pulling the hood over my face to hide the shame, weeping until my throat bled.