Chapter 7
Allegra
“Allegra Rousell, what the hell are you doing here?” Cynthia bumps into me from the side and I stumble.
A guy I don’t know catches my arm and keeps me upright, his hand sweaty, his hold firm. He makes sure I’m not going to fall before turning back to the group of friends he’s dancing with.
Blue lights flicker across the bodies in the center of the dance floor and smoke wafts around, making everything hazy. It’s a delicate balance between ethereal and raunchy but I’m two shots of tequila down the whimsical path so I throw my arms around my oldest frenemy and exclaim, “Cynthia!”
She laughs and wraps me in a hug. Her signature perfume, Viktor&Rolf Flowerbomb, tickles my nostrils.
I used to be envious, in high school, that her mom let her wear perfume and eyeliner while I was clad in pressed khakis and crisp white button-downs.
It used to hurt, the way I seemed invisible beside my oldest friend.
Guys would check her out, their gazes passing right over me.
By senior year, if a boy talked to me at school, I assumed it was to snag Cynthia’s phone number or get some info on who she was currently hooking up with.
Our relationship has always been a gentle push and pull.
A delicate battle of wills where I rarely asserted mine and she naturally overpowered.
But the familiarity of that perfume, the years of history between us, the buzz of tequila in my bloodstream, and the flash of dancing lights have me sinking into her embrace and holding on for long seconds.
“You good?” She frowns when she pulls back, her eyes narrowed.
“I’m great!” I announce, waving an arm wildly.
“When’d you get into town?” She looks around me, probably searching for Levi.
“Friday.” I point to the VIP booth where Derek is glaring at me like I’m ruining his life. His jaw is tight to the point of painful and his eyes are hard and flat, like river rocks.
Cynthia smiles. “It’s good to see you. Why didn’t you call me?”
I shrug. “Just got back and it’s been a shitshow.”
She reins back at my profanity, and I chuckle. Cynthia and I have seen each other at Christmas holidays and a few times in the summer, but we haven’t spent much time together since high school graduation. I’m not the same na?ve goody-goody I used to be.
“Your parents?” she guesses.
I shrug again. I don’t want to talk about my parents. Tomorrow, I’ll call them to tell them my plans. Right now, I’m celebrating my new job, the start of my new life. Having direction. Any mention of Mom and Dad will damper my good vibes.
“Where’s Levi?” Cynthia shakes my wrist, her eyes trained on the VIP section.
“He didn’t come. I’m here with Mav and Reign,” I say coolly, tossing out Derek’s nickname.
My eyes are trained on Cynthia’s face, so I don’t miss the flash of jealousy that strikes her features. With blonde curls and blue eyes, Cynthia always was the prettiest girl in our class.
She snorts. “What’d he do? Pawn you off on his friends?” Pretty with a poisonous tongue.
The hurtful words slam into me but I’m tipsy. And I’m not the same Allegra I was when she kissed my crush on my birthday, or confided in my mom that I had a secret makeup stash, or broke the news to Levi, before me, that I was moving to California and attending college at UCLA.
“Nah, they wanted to take me out to celebrate.” I don’t offer more information and let that sentence dangle in the space between us.
“What—?”
“I better find Mav,” I cut her off. Tilt my head and grip her shoulder. “So good to see you, Cyn. Hope we can hang more this summer.” Then, I’m moving through the sweaty bodies until I spot my roommate.
His tongue is plunged down some redhead’s throat, her micro mini essentially flashing us all her goods.
Jesus.
Rolling my eyes, I move back toward the VIP section. But when I look up, Derek is there, holding out my purse.
“Ready to go.” He says it like a statement, and I know he’s been ready. Just sitting there, watching me, and biding his time because he wouldn’t leave me alone at a club the way Mav has no issue doing.
“Yeah.” I settle the strap of my purse across my chest.
Derek takes my fingers loosely in his, guiding me out of the club through the same maze of corridors and low lighting we took when we entered. When we exit into the dark alley, a black Escalade is idling.
Derek pulls open the back door wordlessly and waits for me to slip inside before climbing in after me. The second the door shuts, the SUV is moving, smoothly pulling onto a main road, and directing us home.
“She’s still trouble,” Derek offers gruffly.
I whip my head toward his, studying his profile. “Who?” I ask, even though I know he’s talking about Cynthia.
The only other night I’ve hung out with Derek was the night I turned seventeen. It was at a bonfire in my hometown that Derek pressed his mouth to mine. After I saw Cynthia kissing my long-time crush. After my supposed best friend encouraged me to take my shot with the baseball star.
“She’s jealous of you,” Derek continues, not bothering to say her name.
I scoff. Yeah, right. Cynthia has always outshone me, all sparkle next to my dullness.
Derek snorts and shakes his head, as my response irks him.
I yawn, wanting to shake off this strange, almost serious vibe. Tonight was supposed to be fun. Since I ran into Cynthia, my euphoria, mixed with exhaustion, plunged me into a weird headspace.
“Too big for it,” he mutters, his words reminiscent of that long-ago night at the bonfire. You’re too big for this. You’re going to outgrow this life.
Maybe he was right. Then. But now… “We’re in Boston, not small-town Massachusetts,” I remind him.
He glances at me, his dark eyes glimmering in the soft moonlight. “Yeah, and Cynthia is still the mean girl from high school. Don’t get pulled into her shit, Allegra. You’ve already outgrown it.”
“I have to call my parents tomorrow,” I confess.
He studies my expression. His eyes searching, his lips pressed together.
My heart rate nearly doubles at his long perusal of my features. What does Derek see when he looks at me? What thoughts circle his mind?
I press my palms together, slip them in between my knees, and wait for his words.
My throat is dry, partly from tequila shots but mostly from Derek’s unnerving gaze. Say something!
“What do you want, Stellina?” Derek sounds almost pained as he asks the question. His voice is raspy, wet sand mixed with shredded seashells, and it skates over my skin like sea glass, smooth with the potential to cut.
His eyes bleed, dark and desperate and dangerous.
“Why’d you really come here?” he tacks on.
I shiver from the intensity radiating off him. His presence expands, eating up the oxygen in the SUV until I’m nearly panting for breath, my chest rising and falling faster.
“I want…” my voice falters, my words breathy and needy.
Derek turns into me, pressing his chest into mine, swallowing what little air is left as he pins me against the seat of the car. “What do you want?” he growls.
His breath fans over my face. My nipples pebble at the weight of his chest pressed against mine. I squeeze my knees together, my trapped hands now between my inner thighs. They tremble as my limbs feel heavy, achy, with a need I’ve only experienced a handful of times.
“Tell me,” Derek demands.
I drag my eyes up from his mouth, his parted lips and straight, sharp teeth, to the expanding recklessness in his irises.
Is he going to kiss me? I lift my chin in a silent dare and Derek closes his eyes, anguish twisting his mouth.
Then, he’s off me, pressed against the door of the SUV, his eyes glued to the passing houses outside the window.
“You shouldn’t have come back,” he sneers.
My galloping heart rate comes to an abrupt halt at the anger in his voice.
You shouldn’t have come back.
He really doesn’t want me here. Just like Levi. All I am to these guys, to their band, is a massive inconvenience. An issue to handle.
I roll my lips together. Untuck my hands and wipe my sweaty palms along my thighs.
What did I think was going to happen? Levi doesn’t care. Derek doesn’t see me as anything more than Levi’s kid sister. He’s not going to attach the same value to a basic kiss from four years ago when he’s been with women all over the country. All over the world.
Embarrassment floods my body and I turn away, training my gaze out my window and the world beyond.
Harboring a crush on Derek all these years was na?ve. Hoping that Levi and I would instantly reconnect when we’ve both changed was short-sighted.
But I don’t regret coming to Boston.
I have a job.
The thought flickers to the forefront of my mind.
And a place to live.
I sneak a glance at the back of Derek’s head. Silent fury rolls off his tense shoulders and hard edges.
You have a summer.
A summer to figure out my future. A summer to find my path.
I want…to belong.
I twist my face back toward the window as a tear trails down my cheek. It’s all I’ve ever wanted and yet, I’m still apart.
But I’m here.
Maybe Derek’s right and I shouldn’t have come back, but I did. I have one summer to prove him and everyone else wrong.