Chapter 13
Allegra
“You’ve got no shot,” I tell him as I deal him his cards.
“This game is better with more people,” he says.
“Be quiet. Everyone loves Uno.”
“I didn’t say I don’t like it. I just said—”
“I heard you,” I cut him off. “I’ll go first.”
“Shocker,” he mutters.
I grin and place down a red seven.
Derek drops a red nine.
A random rerun of Friends plays in background. We sit around the coffee table, drinking wine, and playing Uno for two rounds.
“I won again!” I hold a hand in the air.
“How do you know I didn’t let you win?” Derek challenges.
“Pfft. You’re too egotistical to allow someone to beat you. I have a better strategy.”
“Strategy?” He snorts. “It’s Uno, not chess.”
“I could beat your ass in chess too,” I bluff. I don’t know how to play chess.
Derek’s eyes sparkle. “Next time, we’ll play chess.”
“Planning to make this a habit, are you?” I tease him.
“I’ll take any time with you I can get, Allegra.”
Well, that declaration shuts me up. I have no idea what to make of this new version of Derek. He’s done a one-eighty since leaving me in his bed in late August.
Can someone really change in five or six months?
Did Levi’s going to rehab affect him?
Did losing us hurt him as much as it gutted me?
I bite the corner of my bottom lip, chewing thoughtfully.
I don’t trust Derek, and yet, I can’t deny that since he showed up, he’s been good to me. Generous. Thoughtful. All the things I wish he showed me over the summer.
I drain my wine glass and move to top up both our glasses.
“You sure, Stellina?” Derek murmurs.
I smile. “I can hold my own, Reign.”
He sighs. “I hate when you call me that.”
“Everyone calls you that.”
“But you’re not everyone. When you say it, it adds this…distance between us.”
“Maybe we need distance.”
He snorts. “Baby, we just had over five months apart. With the entire country and the Atlantic Ocean between us. I don’t want any more fucking distance.”
“How long are you staying in town?” I ask, trying to quell the flicker of hope that he could be staying. I squash it, knowing better than to trust those feelings.
“As long as it takes.”
I lift an eyebrow.
“To win back your trust,” he answers my silent question.
I sip my wine slowly. When I place down my glass, my tongue darts out to swipe across my upper lip.
Derek catches the movement, and his gaze darkens. Heats.
“My trust or me?” I ask, my tone huskier than it was a second ago.
“Both,” he replies simply. Truthfully.
I shift closer to him, moving onto my knees.
He regards me warily but doesn’t flinch. In fact, he doesn’t move at all as I slide my palms up his hard chest to grip the tops of his shoulders.
“You sure you don’t want quick and easy?” I taunt him, leaning closer. My mouth drops to the side of his neck, my lips grazing his earlobe. “I remember you didn’t like to get your hands dirty. Nothing that takes too much work.” I swipe my tongue over his hot skin.
His hands clench my hips. “Stop, Allegra.”
I chuckle. Moving up, I straddle his lap. “Stop what?” I pull back to look at him. “I thought you wanted me, Derek. Isn’t that why you’re here?”
“Yeah,” he says, his tone hard. His eyes flash. “But I want all of you, baby, not just this sexy body.”
His words send a thrill up my spine. I straighten my arms off his shoulders and tilt my head, pretending to think. “Hmm, but what if I’m only offering my body? I don’t trust you, remember?”
“You should only offer this body to men you trust. Fuck that,” he backtracks. “Only to me.”
“Take it or leave it,” I mutter, our mouths lined up. My breasts drag across his chest on each inhale.
“Allegra,” Derek groans, sounding tortured. His one hand finds the back of my head and his fingers thread through my hair. “Don’t tease me.”
“I’m not,” I say softly. “I missed this with you. I want you, Derek.” I roll my hips over his lap.
I haven’t fucked anyone since that drunken night after Beirut.
I don’t know if it’s my changing luck, the wine I consumed, or Derek’s presence, but right now, I want him to make me feel good.
I want his hands to grip and touch and coax my body into submission.
I want his mouth on mine. I want to burst apart at the seams, and I want to yell his name as I do it.
“Fuck, Stellina.” His voice breaks. His eyelids drop to half-mast.
His cock hardens beneath me as I roll my hips again. Rocking against him, I press myself against his chest and move my lips a whisper away from his.
“Kiss me, Derek,” I beg. “Remind me how good it can be.”
He snaps. His lips press against mine, his hand in my hair tightens, and his other palm slides to the small of my back, pulling me closer. I arch into him, grind down on his dick, and part my lips.
Derek’s tongue slips inside. He kisses me hard.
Wildly and recklessly. I unleash my months of pent-up hurt and anger as well, kissing him just as desperately.
Kissing him to prove a point. My resentment spills out in the bite I give his bottom lip.
His loss shines through in how easily he takes it, practically begging me for more.
He rocks forward, until he gets his feet underneath him. Gently, he lays me out on my living room floor. His body covers mine as he grabs both my hands and moves them above my head.
I giggle, a reminder of that night—us getting hot and heavy against a brick wall in an alleyway behind Taps—flaring in my mind. Derek grins wickedly before kissing me again.
This time, it’s slower. This time, his hands roam over my body, caressing my breasts and palming my hips. I press up into him, pulling off his shirt and popping the button on his jeans.
“Want you,” I remind him, pushing his boxers off his hips.
When his cock springs free, it points straight at me like a homing beacon. Fuck. I wrap my hand around his silky-smooth skin and pump him once. Twice.
He glances down between us, pure satisfaction crossing his face. He works my leggings down my hips eagerly, giving up as soon as he can dip his hand underneath the waistband of my panties. His fingers swipe up my core and he sighs.
“Missed this,” he says, popping his fingers into his mouth and sucking off my arousal. “Mm, so fucking sweet.”
I shudder, my desire spiking at the visual of him tasting my want. Then, his fingers are back between my thighs, playing and coaxing. I pump him faster, tightening my hold. Our eyes meet, our chests heave, our mouths part.
Derek lunges for me, pressing his mouth against mine and knocking my hand on his cock away.
Then, he’s traveling down my body, ripping my panties off in the process.
His face disappears between my thighs, and I cry out, arching my back as his tongue, his magical fucking tongue, latches onto my sensitive bundle of nerves.
“Derek,” I pant. My one hand wraps against the leg of the coffee table and hangs on while the other finds purchase in my living room carpet. I buck against Derek’s face.
In response, two of his fingers enter me. His fingers fuck me while his mouth devours me. My body tightens and coils, the pressure building until I can’t take it anymore.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I cry out. “Fuck, Derek, I’m—” I can’t finish my sentence because I break apart, orgasming hard and fast as he continues to lick my core, lapping at my arousal like it’s his favorite fucking dessert.
When my body goes limp, he pulls away and watches me warily.
I stare up at him.
“Christ, but you’re fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, his hand moving over my hair, fanned out around my head.
“Lose these.” I tug on his jeans which are still around his knees.
He pauses. “Allegra, we don’t have to—”
“Now,” I cut him off.
“You sure about this?”
“I’m sure,” I swear. Right now, I want to feel him fill me. Stretch me. Fuck me into oblivion.
At my declaration, Derek kicks his pants off quickly.
“Condoms are in my beside drawer,” I say.
A rush of fury rolls over his features. “Why the fuck are—”
“Go get one; hurry!”
He swears colorfully but retrieves a condom and rolls it on. When he’s back in between my legs, he braces one hand next to my head and looks down at me. “This changes things.”
“Okay,” I murmur.
“Tell me you want this, Stellina.”
“I want this,” I breathe out. “I want you.”
He enters me on one, sharp thrust and I cry out, wrapping my fingers around his biceps.
Derek pulls all the way out before slamming into me again.
He does this a few times before we find our pace.
He sets a rhythm and I catch up to it, fusing my lips to the side of his neck as he fucks me hard. Frantically.
“Yes, yes, oh God,” I chant as another orgasm builds.
“Get there, baby. Fuck, get there.”
I do. Finding my release, I claw at his shoulders and throw my head back. “Oh God, Derek.”
He pumps into me two more times before gripping my hair and spilling inside me. “Fuck, Allegra. So goddamn good, baby.”
Our chests are coated with sweat as Derek lays me back down. He stares at me for a long beat before pushing off and moving to the bathroom. He returns a moment later with a warm washcloth and runs it between my legs.
I sit up and take it from him to clean myself up.
He stares around my living room, still naked, and snorts. “Well, that escalated.”
I chuckle. “Yeah. But it was good.”
“Fucking great,” he amends.
I nod. He reaches down a hand and I let him pull me up. “I’m going to shower.” I move toward the bathroom.
“Hey.” He touches my hip. I look at him. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m great.” I tip my head toward the bathroom. “You can rinse off after me.”
His eyes narrow slightly, a cloud passing through them. “Okay.”
“Okay,” I say.
I step into the bathroom and close the door. Turning on the shower, I wait for the steam to fill the small space before I step under the showerhead.
Then I let out a shaky exhale and sag against the tiled wall.
What the hell was that?
Shaking my head, I try to make sense of what transpired between Derek and me. Of how good he made my body feel. Of how easily he made my thoughts slow. Of how perfectly we came together.
But I can’t trust him. I can’t let him in.
I can’t end up broken-hearted again. Especially when my heart hasn’t healed from the first wounds he inflicted.
Not even a little.