2. #2
I loved the crooked smile he gave me as I waited for him to work through the vocabulary he was trying so hard to remember. He finally slurred, “Stood up for a long time.”
“They said you weren’t happy when they made you sit back down, but you understand you’ve got to take things slow, right?
” I didn’t give him a chance to answer before I said, “You’ve always been the kind of guy that goes through life full speed ahead, but you’re going to have to trust them when they tell you that you’ve had enough and need some rest.”
There was a glimpse of the old Sully when he shook his head.
“As soon as I leave you, I’m going to visit Park.
He had another surgery a few days ago, and they’re going to wake him up this afternoon.
” Sully looked confused for a second before he frowned, so I hurried to say, “Hopefully, he’ll be feeling better soon so he can come talk to you.
He’s on a different floor, but he’ll be here for a while, so I’m sure you’ll run into each other eventually. ”
“M’kay,” Sully hummed.
“I’m sure you're tired, so I’ll go,” I said before I squeezed his hand and then set it back on his knee.
“I’ll come see you tomorrow, okay?” Sully nodded, so, in a conspiratorial whisper, I asked, “Want me to bring you some chocolate?” When Sully nodded eagerly, I kissed him on the cheek and said, “I’ll bring you an assortment. Love you!”
“Love you,” Sully mumbled.
That was the first time he’d responded to my declaration, and I choked back the tears that those two simple words caused until I waved goodbye and made my way out into the hall.
The second the door closed behind me, I turned to face the wall and braced a hand against it as I sobbed, biting a knuckle on my fisted hand so that no one would hear me.
I was so distraught that I completely forgot that I was never alone. I was reminded of that when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and Ciro mumbled, “Come here, girl.”
I turned so that I was facing him and buried my face in his chest as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He let me have a few minutes before he kissed my hair and then gently pushed at my shoulders so he could look at my face.
“What happened?”
“He said he loved me back,” I whispered through a fresh round of tears.
“What’s not to love, princess?” Ciro asked before he hugged me again.
I knew the moment was over when Ciro stepped back and the professional veil came back down and transformed his face to his usual bored expression. The coddling was over.
I wiped the tears from under my eyes and asked, “How does my face look?”
“Red and blotchy as if you’ve been crying.”
I sighed before I asked, “Would it kill you to lie to me occasionally?”
“That’s not in my job description.”
“Neither is hugging me when I’m crying, but you did that.”
“Fine,” Ciro said as he rolled his eyes. “Next time, I’ll just let you blubber like a fool.”
“You’re kind of an asshole. You know that, right?”
He put his hand on his chest dramatically and said, “No one’s ever accused me of that before.”
“Come on,” I said in exasperation as I walked off to find the elevator.
“Where are you going?” Ciro asked.
“To check on Park.”
“Good God,” Ciro muttered before he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. “You could get lost in a closet.”
Once Ciro helped me find the elevator bank, we went up to the surgical ICU.
The nurses here were so much friendlier than the ones I’d encountered at the hospitals in New York.
It shocked me every time they greeted me by name so cheerfully.
I knew they were probably puzzled about the relationship between me and Park because I’d overheard one of them mention that I also visited another patient downstairs in the long-term therapy wing where Park would eventually be transferred.
But I just let them wonder because I had no idea how to explain the relationship I had with either man at this point. Yes, I still loved both of them, and that would never change, but the way I loved them definitely had.
It felt like ages ago when I was a young girl with hearts in her eyes, head over heels in love with these gorgeous men who were literally willing to risk their lives to love me back.
It hadn’t even been a year since they had been shot and our lives had all turned on a dime, but I wasn’t the same girl I’d been then.
Now I was spreading my wings and making my way in the world, whether I wanted to or not.
It would be so easy to leave the guys here and go home to the sheltered life I had in the city, but there was no way I’d ever be able to do that now.
Park and Sully didn’t need me hovering, considering they were surrounded by medical professionals around the clock, but I wanted to be close by so they had someone fighting for them in their corner until they could fight for themselves.
I knew in my heart that Sully would never be able to do that, but I still had hope for Park, especially after this latest surgery. The doctors explained that it wouldn’t miraculously change him back to the man he used to be, but it would hopefully give him a nudge in that direction.
Sully and Park would never be the same, and neither would I.
The shooting and all the trauma it caused had changed me in a way that I was quietly proud of.
Instead of being carefree and focused on my studies and the possibilities of my future with the men I loved, I was cautiously optimistic that we’d find a way for the three of us to coexist even if we weren’t in a relationship anymore.
I felt guilty to the core for even considering a future with anyone else, but I was open to it now that I had accepted the fact that the dream I once had would never come true. But dreams could change and morph into something even better. I was holding onto that for dear life.
Park’s eyes were closed when Ciro and I walked into the room, and I studied the monitors beside his bed for a minute, checking the numbers to see how he was doing.
Last year, I didn’t know the first thing about blood pressure, heart rate, or blood oxygen levels, but I felt like a pro now.
I had learned so much from the nursing staff and spent hours sitting beside their hospital beds searching the internet for information on all of those things so that, with a quick glance, I knew at least a little about their current situation.
Satisfied with what I saw, I leaned over to adjust the blanket over Park’s bare chest and tucked it in around his shoulders. I was about to stand up when he grabbed my arm. I heard Ciro gasp behind me before he put his hands on my hips to pull me back.
I could have kicked myself for letting my guard down, and I knew Ciro was feeling the same thing, but then I looked into Park’s gorgeous brown eyes and saw a light that hadn’t been there before as I realized the hand on my arm wasn’t hurting me.
For the first time since before the shooting, Park’s touch was gentle.
“Park?”
“Hey, kiddo,” Park croaked. He grimaced as he tried to swallow and then ran his tongue over his dry lips before he said, “Thirsty.”
“It’s okay, Ciro,” I whispered, sure that Park’s head must be hurting, considering that had been his complaint for months now. “Get him a drink.”
I heard him pouring water into a paper cup before it appeared in my line of vision. I put the cup to Park’s lips, and he took a few healthy sips before he sighed and said, “Thanks.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Guilty.”
“What?” I asked. My mind was racing as I prayed that this surgery hadn’t affected his speech since he’d worked so hard to find his voice again after his stroke. I asked, “Are you hurting?”
Park chuckled before he said, “Nothing hurts. Whatever is in that IV is doing its job.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Tears filled Park’s eyes as he muttered, “I wasn’t able to protect Sully.”
My own eyes began welling. “Oh, sweetheart.” One of my tears dropped onto his cheek, and I watched it mingle with Park’s tears before I whispered, “He doesn’t blame you.”
“How’s my guy?”
“He’s doing good. He got to go swimming and stand up for a while today, so he’s pretty tired.”
“I miss him.”
“So do I. He’s here, but he’s not. Kind of like you were for a while.”
“I’ll never be the man I was before, Stan.”
“You’re right. You’ll be better because you’re not going to have to worry about being shot at again,” I tried to joke as I stood and held his hand.
“It’s going to take a lot of time, but we’ll get you back in fighting shape so you can help Sully.
Before you know it, we’ll be at home together and . . .”
“That’s never gonna happen, and you know it, babe.”
“A girl can dream, right?” I asked.
“I won’t ever be your guard again, Stan.”
“I don’t need you to guard me. I’ve got three people doing that right now.”
“If I’m not your guard, then why would you want to have me around?” Park asked.
I tilted my head in confusion and asked, “What’s the last thing you remember, Park?”
“We were living in that house with you and going to fucking school every day,” Park said with a sigh. “I’m not gonna miss that at all.”
“That’s the last thing you remember?”
“Yeah. Sully and I had been discussing what we wanted to do with our lives and even considered moving somewhere warm. With a beach. Just me and him. Then we were in the parking garage and . . .”
My mind was racing, and so was my heart, when I asked, “Was I going to be on the beach with you?”
“No. Why would you? Your place is in New York with your family. Sully and I belong together.”
I swallowed hard before I said, “You’re right. You make a wonderful couple.”
“When you talk to your dad, will you let him know I need to speak to him? Sully and I need to leave New York and have a fresh start.”
“We’ll talk about this when you don’t have fourteen drugs coursing through your blood, okay?
” Park tried to shake his head but winced, and when he licked his lips again, I gave him more water.
When he had emptied the cup, his eyes fluttered closed, so I quietly said, “I’m sure you’re tired, Park. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Park’s eyes opened before he said, “Go home, Stan. I’ll be fine.”
“The only good thing about having you stuck in this hospital bed is that you can’t tell me what to do and then throw me over your shoulder and make me when I refuse,” I joked.
“Ciro, take her home.”
“ He’s not gonna throw me over his shoulder. That’s for damn sure.”
“He better learn to. You can be a brat sometimes, kiddo.”
“I guess I can.”
Park yawned before he muttered, “Tell your dad I quit. I’m gonna take Sully to the beach.”
I sniffed as Park’s eyes closed again, and within just a few seconds, his breathing evened out in sleep. I took a step back from his bed and turned to look at Ciro before I said, “I guess we should go. We’ve got a lot of things to do today, right?”
“Right.”
Ciro held the door open for me and then closed it slowly so he didn’t wake Park. When he looked at me, I saw the concern on his face.
“The doctors warned us that there may be things he doesn’t remember.”
“They did.”
“I guess I’m one of those things.”
“Fuck,” Ciro hissed before he pulled me into his arms. I burst into tears and he held me close for the second time today.
And, also for the second time today, I cried so hard that it hurt to breathe, but this time it wasn’t from the joy of hearing one of them tell me he loved me back, it was from hearing the other man make it clear that he didn’t remember loving me at all.
I guess it was time for a new dream because the happily ever after I had imagined would never come to be.