5. #2
When I looked back down at my book, I heard my sister growl right before she kicked my foot.
When I didn’t react and just crossed my foot back over the other one, she stomped off.
There was something about pissing off a sibling that made life worth living.
It was like an elixir of happiness, there for the taking.
Obviously, I was addicted.
“Is it your mission in life to piss off every woman you come into contact with?”
I looked over my shoulder at the man I’d seen playing with the kids earlier and asked, “Why would you think that?”
“The fork marks in the cake caused quite a stir, and every time one of the ladies said something about it, you grinned like a Cheshire cat.”
“Because it’s funny.”
“You just pushed every single one of that woman’s buttons on purpose just now before she stormed off.”
“She’s my sister. It’s my job to do that, and I’ll have you know I’m damn good at it.” The man let out a loud laugh, and I asked, “Who in the hell are you anyway?”
“I’m here with the Romanos,” he said mysteriously before he walked off toward the gazebo. He was probably going to eat some of my fucking cake. I didn’t know that guy or the Romanos, and it kind of irritated me that he was so nonchalant in his explanation.
Finally, my curiosity got the better of me, so I waved over the nearest kid and sent them on an errand.
After just a few minutes, my cousin Branch got up from his seat across the courtyard and walked toward me.
Since he had to pass the food table to get to me, I knew I had some time, so I went back to my book while I waited.
When Branch sat down on the grass beside me, he had not one, but two full plates of food along with a bottle of beer under one arm and a bottle of water under the other. He handed me the water and then took a bite of his hot dog before he asked, “What’s up?”
“Who are the creepers?”
“They’re guards.”
“What are they guarding?”
“That girl our sisters have been hanging out with and her younger brothers.”
“Can you stop eating for thirty seconds and tell me what the fuck is going on? Did our sisters become friends with someone from the English monarchy or what?”
“She doesn’t have an accent.” Branch looked thoughtful for a second before he said, “Well, she does, but it doesn’t sound British.”
“Is she an actress or something? If she is, then why do her brothers have guards?”
“Dude, I have no idea what’s going on. I’m trying to avoid the girls as much as possible because Charlotte saw Molly leaving my apartment the other morning. I know she told everyone else, which means they’re gonna be all up in my shit again.”
“Did Molly break in? Did she take you hostage? Have the cops found her yet?”
“Man, fuck you,” Branch grumbled.
“Those are the only two scenarios that could possibly explain why Molly was at your apartment.”
“She drugged him, didn’t she?” Ian, my younger brother, asked as he sat down on my other side. He also had two plates of food, and I wondered why I didn’t get the gene that let me eat anything under the sun without repercussions instead of my brother, who obviously didn’t appreciate that trait.
He took a bite of his hot dog, and it took everything I had not to make a joke about how he managed to get half the damn thing in his mouth.
Branch didn’t have nearly as much restraint. “Damn, son. At least pretend you’ve got a gag reflex.”
“Fuck you,” Ian said before he stuffed the second half in his mouth. Once he’d swallowed, he said, “Don’t change the subject, Branch. Why was Molly the Maniac at your house?”
“I think we’re going to get back together.”
“You think ?” Ian asked. “Isn’t that something you should know?”
“Or maybe avoid at all costs?” I interjected. “You know, for your health and safety.”
“She’s not dangerous, man.”
“I didn’t say she was, but if you start bringing her to family functions again, the women in our family will get that way with a quickness!”
“Preach it,” Ian said as he held his fist out toward me.
I bumped knuckles with him before I added, “And don’t even get me started on what your mom will do. Aunt Katrine is a sweetheart until she’s not. I would hate to be in the blast radius when she finds out you’re even considering getting back together with Molly.”
“Who is that ?” Ian asked, his words garbled since his mouth was full. “Holy shit!”
“That’s another of the guards. There are two women and four men. I think the female guards are here with the lady in the hat. That’s the girls’ new friend, Constance.”
I looked over and saw a woman in a hat stand up from where she’d been on a picnic blanket with my sister and some of our cousins and walk toward the food tables with one of the boys who had been at my house earlier.
I had tossed my book aside and was halfway there when I heard my brother and my cousin laughing at me. I lifted my hand and flipped them off over my shoulder without even looking back and beelined toward the food table, suddenly ravenous and in need of any excuse to be in her orbit.
When I stepped up next to her, I jokingly asked, “Are you following me?”
The woman I’d met at the hospital today looked over, and her face lit up with a smile before she said, “Maybe you’re following me.”
“That’s unlikely since I live here.”
“You do?” Stan asked, “Is that how you know these people?”
“Tattoo man!” One of the boys I’d met earlier held his hand up toward me. I gave him a high five, and he pulled up his sleeve to show Stan the artwork I’d given him earlier. “Isn’t this cool, Stan?”
“It’s impressive,” Stan said seriously. “I didn’t realize that Pokemon characters could look so cool until I saw one tattooed on your arm.”
“I know, right?” the boy asked as he took the plate Stan had made for him and headed toward the group of kids eating together.
“Thanks for drawing on them. I’m pretty sure they think you’re the coolest guy they’ve ever met.”
“They’re probably right.”
Stan sputtered out a laugh before she said, “You’re okay, I guess.”
“I guess you are too. So, how did you meet my sister?”
“Who is your sister?” Stan asked.
“Tana.”
“You’re the fork guy?” Stan asked in shock. “She was just talking about you!”
I chuckled before I said, “I bet she was.”
“I had no idea you were her brother. She said she had two, but I assumed . . . Well, I mean . . .”
I laughed because we’d had this reaction all our lives.
Me, my younger brother, and my older sister didn’t resemble our mother at all.
Instead, we looked like our fathers. There was no reason to do any paternity testing since I was definitely mixed race while my brother and sister were blond with blue eyes.
But seeing as how that was a conversation I tried to avoid having with strangers, only because I hated to weed the assholes out so easily, I changed the subject and repeated, “How did you meet my sister?”
“My friend Bella introduced us. She flew in to help me get settled and show me around. While she was here, she introduced me to your sister and the rest of the women I was sitting with.”
“My cousins, I’m sure.”
“I believe so.”
“You’re from New York and friends with Bella.” It wasn’t a question so much as a statement. I was putting together the pieces I had so far and coming up with a picture I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to see. I couldn’t help but ask, “How did you meet her?”
“She’s living with my friend Matteo.”
“That’s interesting.”
“Why is that interesting?”
“I’ve met Matteo, and he never mentioned that the most beautiful woman in the world lived in New York City.”
Stan threw her head back and laughed before she asked, “Do lines like that usually work on the women in Colorado?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve never tried one like that before.”
“Can I make a suggestion?” Stan asked as she started to walk away.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Do better, Rin. Lines like that won’t get you anything but a restraining order.”
And with that, Stan, the previously sad but now sassy woman, walked away without another word.
I was intrigued, and a little ashamed of myself, but more than willing to try harder, especially if that’s what it took to make her laugh like that again.