Chapter 29
THE ASIAN SUPERMARKET DIDN’T open until seven a.m., but employees began filtering in before that.
Josh snuck in with a new guy he recognized, hoping he’d assume Josh was a coworker he hadn’t met yet and wouldn’t question him.
He headed right for the offices and found Auntie Chen poring over what looked like a recipe book open on her desk.
He knocked lightly on the frame of the open door, and she lifted her head to see who dared disturb her so early. When she smiled, his heart lifted and he knew he'd come to the right person.
“Josh, what are you doing here so early?” she said as she removed her glasses and rose to greet him with a hug.
“I hope you don’t mind me barging in on you, Auntie Chen, but I need your help with something and it’s… well, not urgent, but definitely important.”
She detected how serious Josh was at that moment, definitely not his usual attitude, and pulled him deeper into her office.
“Come, sit,” she urged, pointing to the two chairs in front of her desk and taking one of them herself instead of sitting behind her desk. Josh quickly sat in the other and leaned forward until his elbows were settled on his knees, his hands gripped together. “What is it? What’s bothering you?”
“I, um,” he said, and had to clear his throat at the sudden lump forming.
He had to get through this. He had to know what his mother had written to him all those years ago.
Pulling the letter out of his back pocket, he held it out for her to see.
“My mom, my adopted mom, she gave me this letter yesterday that my Māmā left for me. Māmā gave her instructions to give it to me when I found the love of my life—”
“Oh, Josh, tell me, did you and Riley finally…” She trailed off but wiggled her eyebrows, drawing a much-needed laugh from Josh.
“Yes, Auntie Chen. We’re together now and yesterday we said we love each other for the first time. He’s everything to me.”
She lunged forward out of her chair and pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tightly as she whispered Chinese words he didn’t understand, but wished he did.
“I’m so happy for you, my son. You take good care of that boy and he’ll keep taking good care of you.”
“Yes, Auntie, I will,” he rasped.
She let go of him and fell into her seat.
“You said she left you a letter? What does it say?”
“I’m ashamed to say it’s written in hanzi and I—” His voice broke. “I can’t read it. Māmā thought I would be able to and I-I can’t.”
“Stop those tears, Josh. Your Māmā also didn’t expect to leave you to the gweilo when you were so young either. She likely thought she would be able to teach you the language for years. It isn’t your fault, and it isn’t Leigh Anne and Eddie’s fault. Our language is a difficult one, you know that.”
They’d tried to find him a tutor, but it had hurt too much at first to hear the language of his parents. When he was finally ready, it was too hard for him to grasp.
“I do know that,” he said. “I hoped you could help me read it, if you have time.”
She smiled softly and patted him on the cheek.
“For you, Josh, I have all the time in the world. Let’s see the letter,” she said, reaching out for the envelope in his hand.
She took it carefully and slid the letter out, treating it with reverence and showing great respect for his Māmā. He was so glad he had her in his life.
He realized that both of them were holding their breath, not wanting to disturb such a pivotal moment.
She unfolded the letter slowly and looked at it quizzically for a moment, then clicked her tongue and grabbed her reading glasses off her desk.
Josh could see her eyes move along the paper as she inspected the document, and then she lifted her gaze to his.
“Are you ready, Josh?”
“Yes, read it to me, please.”
She cleared her throat and began to translate his mother’s words from nearly three decades ago.
Josh,
If you are reading this letter, I am so sorry I’m not there with you to meet your soulmate. I was lucky when I found your father at university and we bonded over science together. I wonder what you and your love will bond over and how you’ll find them.
Before you marry, I want you to make sure they meet some important qualities that you will need to get through life together.
1. Try to find someone who balances your weaknesses. If you are not patient, make sure your soulmate has the patience for both of you. I doubt you will have many weaknesses, my good boy, but just in case!
2. As they will compensate for your weaknesses, make sure you bring something positive to their life as well. Your relationship should feel like a partnership.
3. Find someone you can laugh with. Life is stressful enough. Find someone who can lighten your day and make anything better by being there with you.
4. Make sure this person loves you for you. The perfect person for you shouldn’t want to change you. Your looks, your personality, your interests. They should make you the best and happiest version of yourself.
5. When you are away from your soulmate, if you do not miss them, then they are not your soulmate. I hope you are as excited to see them every day as they are to see you.
As a scientist, I don’t like to make assumptions without evidence.
Now that we’ve been in America for some years, we see that they are far more accepting of this homosexual lifestyle than our people in China.
By the time you are of age, it could be a very different world.
If somehow you fall in love with a man instead of a woman, please make sure you are safe.
And know that your Bàba and I would be happy for you no matter who they are, especially if they fulfilled my recommendations above.
I have a feeling you will grow close with the young boy across the street who was born at the same time as you.
You should see the two of you play! The other day, we had a play date with the boy on the next block, a little terror named Cole.
He took a toy out of your hands and sat to play with it, and it made you cry.
Riley went right over to him and stole that toy back, bringing it right back to you!
He’s a good boy, and I hope you two have each other to lean on.
You should see how hard it is to separate the two of you now when you are only babies! That’s exactly how it should be with you and your soulmate.
I wish I could have met them, but if I didn’t get the chance, please know that your Bàba and I love you no matter what.
Be happy, my love.
Both Josh and Auntie Chen were a puddle of tears as she finished reading the letter aloud.
“Your Māmā loved you so much,” she said between sobs. “She’d be so proud of you.”
Josh couldn’t say anything, but leaned forward to hold her. They both stood, and he cried on her shoulder.
With everything that had happened over the last month, Josh thought about going back to therapy.
He loved talking things through with Riley and Auntie Chen, but he knew how much it would help to have an unbiased listener help him navigate through all the changes.
He wasn’t even sure he could wrap his head around the truth of his parents’ deaths yet, so he made a mental note to schedule an appointment as soon as he could.
He wasn’t sure how much time passed before they cried all their tears, Josh’s eyes burning from the onslaught.
He smiled at Auntie Chen and held her hands as he said, “Thank you so much. That meant so much to me.”
A throat clearing from the doorway had the two of them turning to see Auntie Chen’s husband standing there with his arms crossed.
“Josh, are you trying to steal my wife again?” he said, amusement in his voice.
He chuckled and said, “No, of course not,” at the same time she answered, “Yes, we’re running away together. You’ll have to take care of the market without me.”
The three of them dissolved in laughter. Josh had never been so happy. Only one thing could make it better, and he was probably anxiously awaiting Josh's return home.
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Josh burst through the door to his and Riley’s condo to find him on the couch, laptop atop his lapdesk on his lap.
Riley jumped to standing when Josh flew in and almost sent the whole computer setup flying, but luckily he had good reflexes.
Hell, Riley had good everything.
“How did it go?” he said, flustered as he untangled himself from the laptop cord and set everything on the couch so he could rush to Josh.
Josh hadn’t moved from the doorway yet, basking in the view of Riley in his natural habitat. He looked fresh from the shower after his morning workout at the gym, dressed in his coziest sweats and the hoodie Josh had been wearing the day before.
“You’re wearing my hoodie,” he finally said as he stepped forward and closed the door behind him, keeping his eyes on Riley.
He looked at his chest and back at Josh with a sheepish expression.
“Uh, yeah, it smelled like you, and I was… I missed you, so I threw it on. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course it is, we’ve always borrowed each other’s clothes,” Josh said, closing the distance between them and wrapping Riley in a warm hug. He could feel the stress leech out of Riley’s body as he held him. He’d likely been as anxious to hear about the letter as Josh.
Josh finally released Riley and pulled out his keys and wallet and took off his winter gear, then washed his hands in the kitchen. This talk required snacks.
“I’m grabbing nutritional reinforcements,” he told Riley, who watched his movements like a hawk. “You can get cozy again and I’ll join you in a second.”
Riley retreated to the couch while Josh raided the cabinet and made some hot cocoa to go with the cookies they had for special occasions.
He topped his own mug with mini marshmallows and put whipped cream on Riley’s, just the way they liked it.
When he plopped on the couch next to Riley and set their treats on the coffee table, he could practically feel Riley vibrating out of his skin.