Chapter Thirty-Two #2
“And let you die out in the desert? I think not. Jingu’s people have learned how to survive in the Waste, and even we know we can’t outsmart the land. Believe me when I tell you, you won’t discover any solutions in Engel. Go back to Loegria while you still have the chance and find another way.”
She picks up a larger ceramic pitcher and refills our cups. When she notices us watching her warily, she adds, “Trust me, it’s just water this time.”
I can’t afford to doubt her, so I drink some more. It’s just as delicious as the first cup, but I hope it’s untainted.
“Slowly,” Katharine reminds me just as my stomach cramps.
Aren and I drink quietly, slowly. Jingu sets food on the table beside us—a small platter of fresh fruits carved into exquisite shapes. She pushes the plate toward me. “One bite at a time.”
Immediately, I start to feel better. I’m able to restrain myself and savor each bite as instructed, and my stomach settles with each passing moment.
“What did you dose us with?” Aren asks.
“Water from the henbane cactus. It forces the drinker to only tell the truth—to their fullest knowledge, of course. The effects should have worn off by now.” Katharine looks at me. “Do you want to try to lie?”
I believe her. I don’t feel that strange itch in my mind that forced me to answer truthfully.
It’s a relief.
“I needed to keep my secret. I don’t mean to be untrustworthy.”
“Leaders make difficult choices, and I see that your intentions are pure. But you can understand why we’ve needed to use the cactus more frequently.”
“Osian?” Aren asks, reaching for another slice of the beautifully carved fruit.
Katharine nods. “It’s difficult to trust anyone in this blighted land. Apologies that the lack of trust extended to you, cousin.”
I choose not to hold it against her. I’m trespassing on this land under false pretenses, and with war looming, it’s difficult to tell friend from foe.
If I were in her position—a princess in exile, hunted and in hiding—I’d be equally wary of anyone crossing this border under mysterious circumstances.
“The world is on the precipice of war. I must try to get to Osian, even if my mission is sure to fail.”
Katharine looks solemn. “Then you’re going to your doom.
He is intent on building a new kingdom from the ashes of Estyrion.
Anyone who sets foot in Engel is forced into service.
People in the Great Waste don’t have much, and what we have dwindles every day.
This so-called ‘king’ promises a solution for those in desperate need, but it comes at a terrible price.
He’s building an indentured army, and no one can escape. ”
My father’s spies have heard rumors of such an army, but it chills me to hear this from a trustworthy source. “How do you know?”
Katharine’s lip twitches. Pain. It flickers across her eyes, and she shifts uncomfortably on her pillow. Jingu takes her hand and massages it.
“We’ve lost many to the false promises of this so-called king. Our eldest son, Arnfried, for one. We haven’t heard from him in months since he went to Engel for supplies against our admonishments. He joins many who have gone before him and disappeared,” Katharine tells us.
I see a mother’s distress in her eyes. My stomach lurches. I feel for her—the terrible weight of being unable to save a loved one. And worse? Not even knowing if they are alive to save.
“The few resources Estyrion holds Osian has harnessed into building Engel and its dreadful army, with none to spare for the rest of us. The city is a cursed place, sucking the marrow from this already barren land and leaving nothing behind.”
“But what else am I to do?” I ask. “You know I spoke the truth, and you know I can’t stop until I’ve exhausted all my options.
This is the only way our kingdoms can defend themselves against the Usurper and the Kilandrar’s dark powers without exorbitant loss of life—well, other than perhaps my own.
” I try to sound flippant, but Aren looks alarmed—stricken even.
I hope it reflects a depth of feeling for me that she hasn’t shown before. I turn back to Katharine. “I wish you’d join us when the time comes.”
Katharine’s gaze shifts to Aren. “Like you’ve convinced a barmaid from Alarice to join you on your impossible mission?”
“Aren is one of the most loyal people I’ve ever met,” I say, feeling the need to defend her. “If you can’t trust me to see this through, you can trust her.”
The exiled princess of Penrith huffs loudly through her nose, amused. Aren flushes deeply and averts her gaze, but I mean every word. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without her.
Katharine seems satisfied. My conviction seems to sway her, or at least the understanding that I cannot be stopped.
“You two are braver than most. I’ll give you that. Not smarter, but definitely braver.”
“I still have hope that I can persuade Osian to see reason. Perhaps we can even get your son back. Katharine, if I succeed, I can save everyone. Even return you to Penrith.” I may have taken that a bit too far, but I hope Katharine finds it compelling.
She smiles at me like I’m an innocent child. Like she thinks it’s a fool’s hope. “Eat,” she says, gesturing to the fruit before us. “You’ll need your strength.”
While Aren and I eat and drink what we can, Katharine readies precious new supplies for us.
We finish the fruit and some hot porridge, and she gives us a healing salve that must have some magical properties, because within moments, my lips are no longer cracked and split.
The painful sunburn on my face and neck disappears.
My head and legs have stopped hurting, too.
Aren looks much better as well. Especially after Katharine presents us with fresh clothes and tells her the village has public baths.
It’s then that I realize I haven’t seen Aren smile in days.
Katharine and Jingu are more than generous, offering aid despite having so little to spare in their ramshackle village. I owe them more than my promise to find their son.
“Since you have the means to travel across the desert,” I tell her, “go across the bridge to Alba. A general by the name of Marcus and a handful of Loegria’s finest are likely securing the town and waiting for me there.
If you need anything, tell them I sent you.
” I twist one of the buttons of my coat until the frayed thread gives way.
I drop the button into her open hand. “He’ll recognize this. ”
Katharine closes her fist and smiles inscrutably. “I appreciate the fine offer, cousin.” She insists on telling the other villagers that Aren and I are merely hapless explorers in need of help. Even if the people don’t believe the lie, no one challenges her.
Aren leaves to go to the women’s baths and I to the men’s, where the cool waters soothe my skin. Travel, and the harsh conditions of the Waste, have taken a toll on my body. I hope Aren has fared better, and I worry about the toll this journey must be taking on her mind, as it has mine.
I think about Marcus and Jared. I know how much I asked of them, two men trained for leadership and war. But Aren? She’s gone the farthest and the longest, and my stomach hollows out when I think about the many injuries that must now scar her body, too.
She’s a civilian, a barmaid who deserves to be a princess. I feel unbearably selfish for asking her to do any of this, but especially now that we’re heading to such a dangerous, dreaded city.
When I return, dressed in clean clothes, my mind is made up.
“Don’t you dare,” Aren says as if she’s read my mind.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t try to leave me here, or send me away again, or whatever bullshit you’re thinking this time.”
“You know what I’m thinking?” I ask, a glimmer of a smile on my lips. She’s wonderfully annoyed with me again, and the fire in her eyes makes me want to cheer.
She huffs and blows at a lock of hair that’s fallen across her face.
Then she haughtily lifts her chin, puffs out her chest, and deepens her voice to do her best impression of me.
“‘Don’t come with me to Engel. You won’t be safe.
You, a weak woman, should go back home and let me, a big, strong man, handle it.
’” Her eyes narrow. “Well, face it, mister. We’re in this together. ”
“I could order you to go,” I rumble. “You are, after all, my subject.”
“According to the unification treaty, I’m really not until you marry an Alarician girl. And”—she holds up her left hand gasps in feigned surprise—“I don’t see a ring.”
For a moment, all I want to do is to get on one knee and offer her my mother’s opal ring. There’s a yearning in me to prove my troth, to make our pretend engagement real. I wonder if it would make her nicer to me.
Probably not.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
That kiss at the temple felt so real. The memory makes me want to relive the moment now, to see if it feels just as authentic.
“Hey, if you want to foolishly put your life in danger, I can’t stop you,” I say, holding up my hands in surrender.
She crosses her arms and smirks. “Exactly.”
“That isn’t the victory you think it is,” I reply.
“What else could possibly happen?” she asks airily. “We’ve already been robbed by bandits, hunted by raiders, attacked by Kilandrar, almost died from dehydration—I think things are looking up from here.”
She looks so fierce and fearless in this moment, I need to kiss her again. Now.
“What?” she snaps, and I realize I’ve been staring at her mouth for longer than is normal. “Do I have something in my teeth?”
I cough. “No…”
“Oh,” she says, her voice suddenly low and husky. “Because I thought…”
I lean forward. “You thought?”
She looks deep into my eyes, and I lean in even closer.
I can see every freckle on her nose and cheeks, the dimple when she smiles.
I close my eyes, and our lips meet. Her mouth is as warm and inviting as I remember, despite the dry desert heat.
I put my arms around her, can feel her fingers digging into my shoulders.
I run my hands down her back, then lower still to cup her—
Someone behind me clears their throat.
“Oh!” Aren jumps back, blushing furiously. “Katharine!”
Damn.
“Sorry for interrupting,” Katharine says, stepping into the room.
“I’ll, um… I’ll go see Jingu about our rations,” Aren says, rushing from the room. Maybe she’s embarrassed. Maybe she doesn’t want to be seen kissing me.
That’s a possibility.
I’ve made it quite clear how I feel about her. I almost killed myself with my own power rather than admit my feelings. But now I realize I have absolutely no idea how she feels about me, beyond the undeniable spark between us.
Maybe she’s just on this journey for that pot of gold and to save her people, like she said at the outset. Then she’ll walk out of my life forever.
“She feels so much for you, that one,” Katharine says, as if reading my mind.
I don’t know what to say. I wish she were right, but I’m pretty certain what she sees is just a physical connection. Aren ran away, embarrassed to be caught kissing me, after all.
Katharine clicks her tongue, muttering something about “young love” before handing me a pair of goggles. “These will help protect against the sun’s rays and from any illusions, natural or otherwise. You’ll need them in Osian’s territory. Your horses are ready. Are you?”
“As I’ll ever be,” I allow.
Even a well-deserved rest and a meal of healing herbs and fruit can’t change my trepidation.
“Travel at night,” she says. “It’s too hot during the day without proper shade.
We’ve packed some more provisions for you and Aren to help stave off the worst of the dehydration, but take care.
You will be at the whims of the winds. Boreas’s wrath inflicted on this land was unflinching, and nothing can save you.
Do not hold out hope that nature will be merciful. ”
“I won’t.” I look at her keenly. “I wish you would join us in our fight against the coming darkness. It’s already on your doorstep. We can stand together, cousin,” I say. “Like the three kingdoms did in the old days.”
Katharine holds my gaze like she’s deciding what to reveal and how much she trusts me still.
Finally, she sighs. “We’ve survived this long after getting chased out of Penrith by keeping our heads down.
I will not put my people in even greater danger.
” She reaches into her pocket and hands me a small vial.
Inside is a clear liquid, slightly thicker than water.
“Take this with you. You might need it where you’re going.
Tread carefully and trust your instincts. ”
“What is it?” I ask.
“A precaution. To protect the thing that matters most.”
She tells me how to use it, and I don’t hesitate to tuck it into the folds of my new jacket.