Chapter 43
R iordan
The cliff’s edge gave way to a sharp drop, the river far beneath me and the wind whipping through the trees overhead. A storm was coming, darkening the afternoon. I’d brought Cassie to this spot just a couple of nights ago. We’d had sex on my bike with no cares but each other. Our world had been a happy place.
Now I was making plans for changing mine entirely.
Music pounded in my ears, ‘Take Me Back to Eden’ by Sleep Token.
The letter in my hands crinkled under my grip.
Dear Marlon,
I hated it. No one ever referred to the mayor by his first name, except presumably those intimate with him like my mother had been. I forced myself to read on and to let it sink in.
You lied to me. You have a wife. A baby. I met them when I came to your house, and had to lie about who I was. Your daughter is beautiful. Your wife deserves better. Do everyone a favour and don’t break their hearts. I’m asking you to forget about me. I’ve met someone else anyway. He’ll raise your child as his own, and we can all carry on in our own separate ways. Thank you for the money, I don’t need it.
I don’t need you anymore.
She’d signed off with a scribbled signature that spoke of high emotion when she’d penned the letter two and a half decades ago. Did she really hate him that much that she’d called those shots out of anger, or was it an attempt to push him away when she was scared of what he might do to her? I’d never know. All I could be sure of was that he’d offered in some way to support her, and maybe even to be part of my life.
It filled in a gap of information I’d had, even if it posed more questions. I’d wanted to read the fight she’d put up for me. She’d kept me, which would have been hard for any eighteen-year-old, and she’d given me a great life, even if some of it had been a lie. I didn’t blame her for that.
My mind travelled over the broken pieces of my trauma.
I hated the image of her going to the mayor’s house and meeting his wife. I’d gone there and met Everly in the same way, lying about who I was and backing out. History had repeated itself. He’d failed us both.
Mum said the mayor’s family deserved better, but she had, too.
It fucked up my already messed-up brain all the more and brought me back again and again to my own failed relationship.
To Cassie.
Who’d dumped me without a care.
Misery crowded me from all sides, made up of the two women who’d left me.
Distantly, I recognised the trigger that had sent me running. Neither woman had told me themselves that they were going. A cop informed me and Gen about Mum. A fucking note did the job for Cassie.
A fresh wave of emotion rocked me.
Never again would she leap into my arms. Never again would I accept her slight weight and hug her to me. I was addicted to the joy she wore like a crown. To her fierce attitude and the way she needed me. I loved her taste. Her mind. Her body.
I fucking adored my wild girl and I’d lost her.
I brushed my knuckles over the crushing sensation in my chest. I’d been destroyed once in this life already and lived the impossible nightmare. An event I’d kept praying was a lie and had never truly got over.
Cassie had found a way into my ruined heart then shattered it, and I couldn’t even blame her. She did what she told me she’d do. She was honest to the end. I’d brought about the end of her infatuation with me. I’d told her I loved her. I’d fallen for her, and she’d fallen right out of love, just like she’d promised.
It was me who’d broken our deal.
I was never supposed to catch feelings, but I was in so deep there was no way out.
One thing for certain was I couldn’t work in the same place she existed.
I’d return to her flat and leave my skeleton crew pass in the skull on our countertop, a new failure to add to her list of lost obsessions.
Her countertop, I corrected. I didn’t live there and I never had.
Exhausted, I scrubbed my eyes.
Starting over would be hard. In buying her nice things, I’d burned through my wages from Arran, barely leaving me enough to fuel up my bike and find a place to sleep that wasn’t my car for the night. I didn’t regret it. I wanted her to be comfortable. Happy.
Which meant getting out of her way.
After losing my last job, I’d intended to drive south and find work in another city. My lungs inflated on a heavy breath. That was what I needed to do today, so why the fuck was I sitting here, moping?
I stood on the rocky ledge, a slide of earth and pebbles clattering down into the open air.
There was one thing left to do.
Loving Cassie was going to haunt me for the rest of my life, and in the hours since I’d read her note, I’d resisted the burning need to check my phone. Her tracker was on there. I needed to delete it.
No, I needed to do something more extreme.
I needed to toss the fucking thing. Extracting my phone from my pocket, I killed the music and crushed it though the damn thing wouldn’t break. Sending it flying over the cliff was the only way to free myself. I still had the link Shade had sent me to set up Cassie’s tracker in the first place. Without losing access entirely, I’d reinstate it in a moment of weakness. I couldn’t do that.
All I needed to do was throw.
I gritted my teeth and pulled back my hand.
Something fell to my feet, catching the breeze.
In the act of going into my pocket, I’d also drawn out Cassie’s note. It fluttered over the edge of the cliff.
With a howl, I dropped to my knees and snatched it from the air, nearly losing my balance and with more rocks falling to the chasm. The drop loomed below.
I scrambled back to the base of a tree, holding the fucking thing to my chest while my heart pounded so hard I could barely breathe.
What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I let this go?
I opened it again, needing the closure and to force myself to face it.
Riordan, sorry. It happened. I fell out of love with you.
You’re expecting this, so it can’t be a surprise.
We’re split up now.
Hugs! Cassie.
Brief, to the point, damning. God, it fucking hurt.
Rain pattered down, dampening the paper like tears I’d never shed. I hadn’t been able to cry when Mum died. Not when my sister sobbed herself to sleep every night and neighbours and friends dabbed at wet eyes. Mine had stayed dry.
I shoved the note and Mum’s letter back into my pocket.
One day, I’d burn both when I was ready to let go.
For a long minute, I just breathed, watching the river’s swelling tide creep up the steep banks on its rush into the city.
Something churned in my gut. A sense of deep worry over Cassie, out there somewhere and vulnerable.
She had countless people who were there for her, but none of them cared as much as me. None of them loved her so fiercely as I did, with a hole in my chest and an exposed heart.
She was no one’s top priority. Yet even if she didn’t want me, she was still mine.
In the most secret part of my heart, another thought stirred.
Though Mum hadn’t been able to tell me she was going, Cassie could. I needed to hear it from her lips.
Switching my phone back on, I called up her tracker, dismissing the countless calls and messages that crowded my screen the second I went off Do Not Disturb.
The blip pinged deep in Four Miler territory.
Fuck, what was she doing there? What the hell was Arran doing, taking her into that shitshow?
Anger broke over me, and I leapt to my feet, swiping over to my phone app as I got onto my bike and revved the engine, the sound breaking through the quiet with an anger that matched how I felt inside.
Setting out, I dialled Arran from one of the multiple missed calls from him. I’d ignored all contact since last night.
He answered immediately. “Jesus. Where are you both?”
My venom died on my tongue. I rolled off the dirt track to descend the hill back to the river road. “What do you mean ‘both’?”
“You and Cassie. We’re regrouping at the warehouse. I’ve called everyone back.” To someone else, he yelled, “Got Riot on the line.”
“Thank fuck for that,” Scottish tones returned over my headphones, one of Cassie’s brothers.
My stomach gutted out. “Cassie isn’t with me. She broke up with me. I haven’t seen her since last night when she was out with Shade.”
Silence met my words, then my boss swore a blue streak, ending with, “Where is she?”
“Her tracker says rival fucking gang territory,” I yelled and accelerated hard, banking out around a tight bend. “How the fuck did you allow it? I’m going after her.”
Arran swore again. “Not without us. Get back here.”
I gritted my teeth, but he was right. Alone, I was less effective. With my crew, I had a better chance. “Be there in ten,” I snapped and got the hell on my way.
My bike’s engine snarled as I cut through the traffic, weaving in and out of lanes on my route upriver and back into Deadwater.
Between heartbeats and raindrops, I tried to remember to breathe.
Beyond the Welcome to Deadwater sign, fire engines screamed past, heading up the hill to one of the suburbs. Police cars zipped into town, none troubling me.
Outside the warehouse, I screeched to a halt, leaving my bike haphazardly parked. Struan waited by the rear exit, his typically stern expression replaced by one of pain and worry. The moment I was through the door, he directed me up the steps.
“Arran’s office. We’re mobilising.”
I seized his shoulder, jerking him to a stop. “What the fuck happened? Why isn’t anyone with Cassie?”
“She skipped out on the hospital and left without being seen.”
I stalled. “Why was she at the hospital? Did she get hurt?”
“Where have ye been since last night? How have ye not heard about the lass whose neck got cut open?” At my apparent horror, he amended fast, “Dixie. Not Cass. They were wrong about the killer.”
Fear stunned me. Struan grasped my arm and propelled me to Arran’s office. Inside, grim faces met mine. Arran, Shade, Tyler, my sisters, Sinclair, a couple of people I didn’t know. Jamieson was absent.
“Tell me—” Arran started.
I cut him off. “No, you tell me why you’re all here while Cassie’s tracker is showing her in the Four Milers’ territory.” I centred on Shade. “Why the hell is she there? She was supposed to be with you.”
The enforcer went perfectly still. “Four Milers? Show me.”
I produced my phone and opened the tracker screen. Cassie hadn’t moved, her location still the same haunting distance away.
Everyone in the room leaned in, the same horrified expression rippling over all faces.
Sinclair swore violently and stabbed at his phone, raising it to his ear. “Pick the fuck up,” he ordered whoever he was calling.
Tyler and another guy made for the door, and shouts came from outside.
I kept my gaze on the leader of the skeleton crew, the sense of panic inside me only thickening until it clogged my throat.
Arran, the grave, vicious gang owner who I’d watched kill a man, paled and reached for a drawer to pull out a gun. “As we speak, Red is holding a summit in his brothel and electing his new second-in-command. Over the past week, I’ve been dismantling his empire while he’s at his weakest, and today, we’re bringing an end to his reign.”
This couldn’t be good. Not for my intuition, and not from how fraught the room had become. Shade likewise weaponed up, sliding a mean-looking knife into a holster.
Arran continued, “Red and his key people are all in that basement, locked away. His drug importers, his traffickers. Anyone who wanted a chance at that top position is there, and anyone else they control is guarding the place. We only found out about it last minute and decided on rapid action.” His eyes flared in anger. “Whether he murdered the women or not, he still killed my friend.”
Convict, he meant. I understood the anger. The need for revenge.
“What have you done?” I breathed.
I already imagined the worst.
The words from his lips confirmed the fact. “Jamieson is torching the place.”
Urgency and desperation floored me. Panic formed on other faces as they made for the door.
Sinclair lowered the phone, his eyes haunted. “He isn’t answering. It means he’s in the zone.”
The rest was left unsaid. Cassie was in that brothel, and her brother was burning it down.