Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
T oday was amazing.
I would never tell Kage that though. I left him looking like a lost puppy at his new hotel and headed off for my flight. The jet was waiting on the tarmac, and I know I could have delayed or changed it to spend more time with him, but I refuse to reconfigure my schedule or life for anyone ever again, even Kage.
It’s strange though. After spending all day with him, the silence doesn’t feel as comforting as it once did. More . . . lonely. He filled that space so well, always talking or moving. I didn’t even realize how often he filled the silence until I’m surrounded by it. Once, it would have felt warm, a place for me to relax and shed the facade and just be me, but now I miss the constant chatter.
My lips curve as I recall him blabbering all day about random shit. When I realize what I’m doing, I kill the smile and recline back in my chair as the crew goes about their last flight checks. The steward, Jase, knows to leave me alone by now. They’ve worked for me for a while. He handed me my drink, smiled, and went to help the captain and copilot. I debate calling out, if only just to speak, but I’m just now realizing I don’t speak unless I have to when I’m not with Kage. With him, it’s almost natural to speak often, to ask something or tell a story.
What is he doing to me?
Today was amazing and probably one of the best dates I’ve ever had, which is exactly why he did it. He’s determined to break down my walls and get me. I still don’t understand why. That isn’t me putting myself down. I’m rich, I’m powerful with a family name that inspires loyalty and fear, and I’m beautiful and classy with a good image. Outside, I seem like the whole package. Is that what he wants? Someone to be seen with?
No, he didn’t want me to be seen today. He wanted me to be comfortable. Which begs the question, if he doesn’t want me for my money, fame, or name, then why does Kage want me?
“Sir, you can’t—” Jase begins, his face pale as he tries to block the stairs.
“Ah, don’t worry, I’m Fallon’s boyfriend.”
My eyes widen at the familiar voice, and then Kage is pushing past a shocked and confused Jase, waving at me.
“Kage?” I snap.
“Hey, baby,” he calls, stowing his bag. He winks at Jase and strides my way, dropping into the chair opposite me with a groan. “Shit, this plane is nice. I should buy one or maybe two, then we could match.” He wiggles his eyebrows as I continue to stare.
“I thought your name too many times, and like a bad omen, you appeared,” I mutter to myself.
“You thought about me?” His grin grows.
“Nightmares,” I retort.
“It counts.” He shrugs as he reaches down, lifts my legs, and lays them over his lap just as Jase appears.
“Ms. Fallon, should I call security?” he asks, looking between us.
“No, he’s a stalker, but not even security will get rid of him.” I sigh. “Jase, this is Kage.”
“Hey, my man.” Kage waves. “Nice suit, the blue really suits you.”
Jase blinks, looking from me to Kage before recognition seems to bloom. It’s subtle, since Jase is so good at his job, but his smile grows, his eyes heating as he looks Kage over. “Thank you. Would you like a drink, sir? ”
“Nah, I’m good, just look after my lady.” He settles back in his seat. “That’s all I want.” His eyes lock on me. “I missed you.”
“It has been an hour,” I reply with an arched brow.
He nods seriously. “An hour too long.”
I just stare, unsure how the hell Kage knew where I was flying from and also how he had time to pack, change, and get here. He’s in an oversized black hoodie and cargo pants. I suppose nothing about him should surprise me anymore.
“Should I tell the captain we are ready to leave, Ms. Fallon? Or are we expecting more company?” Jase asks kindly.
I sigh. “We are ready to go before any others turn up.”
“Thanks for waiting.” Kage blows me a kiss.
“I wasn’t.” I grab my magazine and pretend to read it. I feel him staring at me the entire time, so I eventually fold it down and meet his gaze. “What now?”
“You look so beautiful.” He grins. “Continue reading. Don’t mind me, I’m just looking at the view.”
Rolling my eyes, I lift the magazine to cover my face, but I can’t stop the small smile on my lips. I ignore him during takeoff, but once we are in the air and I’ve finished the magazine, I know I can’t keep staring at pictures of the band Sanctuary, no matter how pretty they are, so I drop it and lean back in my chair to find him still watching me.
“I lost the bet, you know.” He grins. “I kissed you first.”
“I told you, you would,” I retort.
He leans closer, and I suck in a breath at his proximity. “So did I, but it was so fucking worth it,” he says, his eyes dropping to my lips, so I place a hand on his solid chest and push him away before I do something stupid, like kiss him.
“So . . .” I want to change the subject. “You’re stalking me around the world and seem to know everything about me, but I hardly know anything about you.”
“What do you want to know, beautiful? Ask and I’ll tell you anything,” he replies. My eyes narrow. No one is that honest. They cover things up and tell half-truths to impress the other person.
“First time you got hard,” I say, pushing him .
“In gym class. It was really embarrassing. Something about the way Sarah Peoples was jogging made it happen. Everyone saw.” He grins. “Keep asking, sweetheart. I have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Everyone has something they are ashamed of.” I frown. “Something you don’t want anyone else to know.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I want you to know everything about me, even the bad stuff, so ask and I will answer.”
I stare into his earnest eyes, confused. “First love?”
“You,” he says without a moment of hesitation.
“What? You didn’t love your first girlfriend?” I joke to cover the uncomfortable feeling within me.
“No, I didn’t. I have never loved anyone the way I love you, not even my parents. I know I should feel bad about that, but they were just there. I was supposed to care about them, and in a way, I did, but it was never love.” He says it all without a hint of shame.
“Why did you come back here?” I ask, needing to move on before I look too closely at his answer and the fact that he apparently loves me. He’s wrong—he can’t—he just thinks he does.
He’s in love with the idea of me, not the real me.
“For you.” He grins. “I spent the last year building my name and wealth so I could be worthy of you. When I figured it was time, I came back to be closer to you.”
Jesus Christ, why is every answer coming back to me?
Why am I so hot and flustered?
Maybe it’s the intensity in his eyes, the raw truth I hear in his voice, or the way he’s massaging my legs like he isn’t the least bit worried about what he’s admitting when most would bury those dark things deep down so no one would ever see, never mind admit them to another person.
“Why did you become a singer?” There, that’s a safe question.
“I was always good at singing. People told me I should try, so I did to earn some money. I was good at it and started moving up through the ranks, but it solidified my choice when I met you because I knew I needed to be as close to you as possible.” I frown at that. He met me a year ago, and he was already an established singer by then. Maybe he’s confused.
“Ever slept with a fan?” It’s something a lot of singers brag about, sleeping with groupies, but I find it cringey.
“Never,” he states so vehemently that I truly believe him. “In fact, I’ve been celibate for a year.”
“A year?” I gape at him. “Are you saying you haven’t slept with anyone since meeting me?”
“Why would I?” he asks, tilting his head. “I know what and who I want, so why would I risk that for momentary pleasure when it would pale in comparison to the real thing?”
“But I saw you with women and—” I stop, realizing what I said. I didn’t go out of my way to look him up, but like me, he’s on every news outlet, and whenever he stepped out with someone, they pounced on it.
The sly grin he gives me lets me know I’m not getting away with that, but he doesn’t say anything, thank fuck. “For PR or I was working with them, nothing more than that, and every time, I debated having the pictures pulled, but I wanted your attention. I’m glad it worked.”
“I wasn’t jealous.” I point at him in warning. “I was just saying.”
“Sure, sweetheart.” He grips my legs possessively. “I was jealous every time I saw you with someone new. My only reassurance was that they were never there more than once, so they meant nothing to you.”
“What does that mean?”
“They were just something else for you to use and flaunt, like money or fame.” He shrugs. “It was obvious to me. They were a distraction, a buffer.”
My heart stops as I stare into his dark eyes. This man sees and knows too much, and it terrifies me.
“Next question?” he asks innocently, completely oblivious to my internal turmoil.
“Favorite color?”
“Blue,” he responds, and I know I asked before, but I was checking if he was telling the truth .
“Why are you so obsessed with me?” I ask after a pause.
“You aren’t ready for that yet,” he answers. “You’re looking for an excuse to run, and I’m not giving you one. Besides, beautiful, you can try to run from me, but I’ll just find you. You forget, I know everything about you.”
“Bullshit, you can’t know everything about me,” I scoff.
“Favorite color is gray, and you tell everyone your favorite book is Women Don’t Owe You Pretty , but it’s actually Pride and Prejudice . You can’t drink and eat at the same time. You hate the taste of beer but love cheap pizza. You love roller coasters but hate going underwater. You love shopping and watching movies, but you don’t like to go alone. You collect vintage art, and you love pottery. In an interview in 2013, you admitted you liked being spoiled by the person you are dating. Shall I go on?”
My eyes widened while he spoke, and I swear they are bugging out of my head. “How?” I blurt, stuttering over the words.
“You are the only thing in this world that interests me, Fallon, so I spent my time knowing every single thing there is to know about you. Good and bad, I want it all.” He leans closer. “But I want all those dark, little secrets I see floating around in your head, the ones you are ashamed to share, and I’ll have them.” He leans back. “But for now, what else do you want to know about me?”
“I’m done asking,” I snap, feeling way too vulnerable and exposed.
“Okay, beautiful, how about you get some sleep?” he suggests as I stand, needing to put some space between us.
Does he really know all that?
Just how long has Kage been stalking me? It sends a shiver through me, and not necessarily a bad one.
“I can never sleep on planes,” I tell him. “I just don’t get warm or comfortable enough.”
“Here.” He rips off his hoodie, revealing a tight, short-sleeved shirt underneath as he offers it to me. “To keep you warm and cozy,” he explains as I stare.
“I don’t wear hoodies,” I mutter, glaring at the offending article of clothing .
“Sure you do, when they are mine. It’s comfy as hell, here.” He drags my arms up, and before I can protest, he slides the hoodie over my head, careful of my makeup and hair, and settles it into place. The material is big and baggy, almost reaching my knees, but it’s super soft and warm and smells like him. Realizing I’m sniffing it, I drop the material.
“You don’t listen to anything I say,” I mutter in annoyance.
“I do, sweetheart, just not when I know you’re wrong.” He takes my hand, leading me to the door at the back. He opens it and pushes me in and then shuts it behind him. “Now lie down and rest.”
“Nobody bosses me around,” I warn.
“I’m not bossing, sweetheart. I’m asking.” He backs me up to the bed until I fall backward, and then his arms go down around my head. “Either you sleep, sweetheart, or we are going to do something very different in this bed. Your choice.”
My eyes meet his. The bedroom is small, and there isn’t much except a bed, but as I lie on the silk sheets, I know that if I let Kage fuck me, it will change something. He’ll have gotten what he wanted, and he’ll get bored, just like everyone else, and part of me doesn’t want that. I like his attention, for now at least.
I slide backwards, crawling up the bed and slipping between the sheets. His chuckle follows me, but he doesn’t seem disappointed. He does, however, climb in next to me, and before I can move away, he wraps me up in his arms, dragging me closer so I’m pressed against his chest. “Before you tell me off, it won’t work, now sleep.” He kisses my head softly. “You can go back to keeping your distance and pretending you don’t want this tomorrow. Tonight, just give in and let me hold you while you sleep—not for you, but for me.”
“Fine, for you, and because I’m tired,” I mutter as I relax into his embrace.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” I hear the smile in his voice, but I ignore it and close my eyes.
I don’t expect to be able to sleep, but I must because I jerk awake sometime later, my nightmares chasing me into consciousness.
“Shh, baby, I’m here. You’re okay. It was just a dream.” Kage strokes my face, his body wrapped around mine in the dark, and I remember we are on the plane.
Blinking, I bring his face into focus while my mind tries to catch up to what’s happening. “It wasn’t,” I croak, my voice hoarse. Was I screaming again? I’m sweating and my legs are weak, which is typical after one of my night terrors. “It was a memory.”
He frowns, watching me. “What kind of memory made you that scared? You were crying in your sleep.”
“The worst kind,” I whisper. “Ones I’ve tried to forget.”
“People only bury something when they’ve done something bad,” he whispers slowly.
“We bury what we fear,” I whisper, my voice soft and shaky.
“And what do you fear, sweetheart? Tell me and I’ll take care of it. You’ll never be scared again,” he murmurs.
“You can’t take care of my past, Kage. Nobody can.” I relax into his grip but look away, feeling too vulnerable.
“Don’t ever be ashamed of your past with me. When you’re ready, I will be right here, willing to hear it. I promise.” He kisses my forehead and wraps himself around me more solidly. “Want me to distract you?”
“Please,” I whisper.
“Hmm, well, I told you we were poor when I was growing up, and we really were. I grew up in Section 8 housing, going to a school that had bars on the windows. My dad worked two jobs, my mom three, and I have two siblings, but we aren’t really that close. I think it’s because we all knew we wanted to get out of there, and when we had the chance, we did. I check on them now and again, and I made sure my parents don’t struggle anymore, but they don’t understand this life, and I don’t need them to. I’m thankful for everything they did to raise us, but now it’s my turn to carve my path.”
Turning in his arms, I meet his eyes. “Some—no, most people would be terrified of the real you, Kage.”
“I don’t care about them. I only care about you. Are you scared of me?” he asks, his hands sliding over my body .
“No,” I admit. “Not even a little.”
He kisses me softly. “Good girl. I’d rip out my own heart before I would ever hurt you.”
Surprisingly enough, I believe him.