Chapter 9 #2
“Um… what do you mean?” I make wide, ‘help me’ eyes at Kira, hoping she doesn’t hate me so much now that she’ll leave me floundering. But instead of hate, all I see is anxiety as she hunches over, hugging herself, her eyes glistening with tears. Her breathing gets shallow. She’s about to panic.
I slide onto my knees in front of her, taking her hands in mine.
Quickly, quietly, I try to comfort her with a soothing tone of voice, spewing out whatever I think might make her feel better.
“Kira, it’s alright, hey, it’s okay, it’s going to be okay.
I’m sorry, okay? I’m really fucking sorry about Brian.
I didn’t mean to scare you. I really didn’t want to scare you, that’s the last thing I wanted.
I’d never hurt you, alright? I would never hurt you, and I’m really sorry, Kira. ”
“Tommy–” She bites her lower lip. “I-I’m…”
I stare at her, and the moment stretches.
Here it comes, she’s about to break up with me.
“It’s okay, Kira,” I whisper to her, all too aware of the fact that her uncle is watching us, and I can’t say too much without giving away our lie. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, I’ll understand.”
She swallows hard, and glances at Young-gi. “B- Brian’s family will be angry with you.”
Huh? I blink at her, but she doesn’t say anything else, so I manage a confused “Okay.”
“They’ll come after you, Tommy.”
“Okay.”
“Tommy,” she gets a little frustrated. “They’re powerful people, okay? They won’t stop until they feel like you’ve paid for what you did. You aren’t safe on your own.”
“Well, I’m not on my own,” I say slowly, trying to play along, wondering where she’s going with this. Wondering how much of this her uncle told her to say, and why. “I’ll go stay with my family, alright? My brother Jeremy. Okay? I’ll be fine. Nothing to worry about.”
I hope Jeremy is the name we chose for my fake brother, it might have been Jude but I doubt Young-gi cares anyway.
“No, you don’t understand–” She shakes her head. Her hands tremble in mine. “Uncle Young-gi says, um, he said we, that you’d be safer if you were– And, I think, but… well…”
It’s painful listening to her try and break up with me. I can’t figure out why she’s so torn up about it. Maybe she really is worried that Brian’s family will come after me. She’s too sweet. Maybe she just needs a little help getting it out.
“Darling, it’s okay. I understand,” I tell her. “I get it. I’ll go stay with my family. There’s no need to worry about me. I’ve hurt you, betrayed your trust, so I understand that I don’t deserve to be with you anymore. You need someone better, someone safer than me, someone more level headed–”
“No.”
I flinch when Young-gi interrupts my Oscar-worthy performance, keeping me from helping Kira break up with me. Checking the urge to scowl at him in annoyance, I settle for a look of confusion instead.
“Mr. Sokolov?” I ask uncertainly.
“Tommy–” Kira whispers, then bites her lip again.
Young-gi looks up from his furious typing and grips my fucking heart right through my eyes. He says some words, and it takes about three business days for my brain to understand what he just told me.
Wait…
I stutter, cough, and ask, “I’m sorry, what?”
“You’re getting engaged,” Young-gi says, confident and calm, like it’s the most normal, logical thing to say at a time like this.
“You’ll be moved into her apartment, since I can vouch for the security there.
I’ll take care of the wedding details, unless Kira has preferences.
But I’ll need your family’s contact information; I didn’t have a chance to look into them myself, yet.
They’ll need to be informed of your dramatic change in circumstances.
I’ll make sure the Vandmorson family, Brian’s family, knows you’re a Sokolov, now. Do you have any wedding opinions?”
I think my jaw is on the floor. I shake my head hard, like I’m a dog clearing water out of my ears. Dazed, confused, I look at Kira. She’s beet red, her pleading eyes betraying the fact that she knew her uncle’s insane idea before I got here and didn’t say anything.
“Kira…”
“Tommy, can we just… not right now?” She grips my hands, nervously glancing at Young-gi.
Ahhhh, she doesn’t want him to know about her lie. She doesn't want him to know she hired me, or why she hired me.
That’s too damn bad.
I stand, feeling a little bit like I’m disassociating but not quite.
A chuckle builds in my chest, and by the time I sit back in my chair, I’m weak with wheezing, full-belly, breathtaking laughter.
I’m crying with it, almost howling with it.
Every time I glance up and see Young-gi staring at me all stern and blank as the seconds tick by, it starts again and I can’t contain myself.
“Oh my god–” I laugh, wiping my eyes. “Oh god, that’s so funny. This is so fucked. You know that, right Kira? This is fucked up.”
“You have a problem with the idea of marrying my niece?” Young-gi’s voice could freeze an ocean.
“You think you could do better? Don’t act like you aren’t devoted to her.
You’ve been focused on her all week, completely dedicated to her, and you nearly killed a man for wronging her.
I respect that, and I’m offering you the very generous chance to become part of our family. Kira is–”
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” I wave his words off. “Kira’s great, I get it. But I’m a fucking nobody.”
His mouth shuts, but I can’t tell if I’ve surprised him or confused him.
As usual, he’s hard to read, but I think he’s just…
waiting. Like a logical predator, he’s waiting for me to continue so he can find the weak points in my arguments, and he can get his way in the end.
Like my protests don’t even matter to him.
Fine, time to bring out the big guns.
“Tommy,” Kira gently puts her hand on my knee. “Let– let me.”
Her bravery surprises me, and she takes a deep, bracing breath. She’s nervous, but she isn’t flinching away or trying to find an escape route. She might be scared that her uncle will be upset or disappointed, but she isn’t afraid he’s going to hurt her.
She lifts her chin, faces her uncle… and promptly screws her eyes shut as she blurts it all out at once.
“Uncle Young-gi, I hired Tommy to be my date because Brian is my ex and he cheated on me with Janessa and I was scared everyone would make fun of me and it-was-Lexie’s-idea-and-Tommy-is-her-landscaper-andheisn’treallymyboyfriendandI’msorry! ”
Young-gi’s eyes are slightly wider by the time she finishes. He looks at me, and this time, I know exactly how he’s feeling. He’s actually caught off guard. He’s surprised.
Hah! Take that, you unflappable, gorgeous, bossy, Daddy-dom asshole.
“I’m gay,” I tack on with a spicy little hand wave, just to make sure he gets that marriage idea out of his head.
“I met Kira like a week ago. Brian’s family won’t find me because there’s no Tommy Claremont to find.
I’m nobody, I’m just Tommy. No papers, nothing.
My entire backstory is fake. So as much as I appreciate your generous offer, I’ll have to decline.
I’m not your problem or your responsibility. I’ll take care of myself.”
After a long, tense moment, Young-gi sighs. It’s a long, frustrated, exhausted kind of sigh, and he pinches the bridge of his nose like he’s trying to stave off a headache. “Tell me everything, Kira.”
She winces slightly, and delicately clears her throat.
“Lexi and I were talking in her garden. Tommy heard me crying, he came to make sure everything was alright. Lexi thought…” Kira turns to look at me, and I can’t tell if it’s because she’s realizing how wrong Lexi was, or if she’s regretting that whole day and wishing she could do it differently.
“She thought he seemed kind. She said I could hire him to, um, to keep the gossip away after Brian… cheated on me with Janessa.”
“He didn’t.” I decide to clear that up, and she jumps like I’ve startled her.
“I mean, yeah, he would have, he’s a huge asshole, but Janessa didn’t sleep with him.
She was flirting because she wanted him to break up with you–she wanted to prove he didn’t love you, but she didn’t go behind your back and get with him. Brian lied, no surprise there.”
“...Really?” She sounds so hopeful.
I nod.
“That is riveting,” Young-gi interrupts dryly, sounding not at all riveted. “But could we get back to the point? The point being that Tommy is not your boyfriend?”
“Oh, um, yeah.” She blinks at me like she’s trying to process what I said, but shakes off her shock to continue.
“We offered him a job, and he accepted. It was only supposed to be for the week. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, it was just supposed to…
to make me feel better. To make me feel safer. ”
“Sorry, Kira,” I murmur, guilt hitting me again. She starts to reassure me, but bites her lip, and shrugs. What I did isn’t something a simple ‘sorry’ can fix. I understand.
“How much were you getting paid?” Young-gi asks me. “And what were the stipulations of the job?”
I shrug it off, regretful and a little bitter. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t deserve the money. I ruined the summit.”
“Brian ruined it!” Kira tries to argue, but her words trail off, uncertain; because it’s true that Brian started it, but I fucking finished it, and that wasn’t helpful.
“How. Much?” Young-gi’s tone dares me to evade his question again, and I consider taking that dare, but eventually just sigh.
I’m kind of tired.
I’m kind of sad.
And the crash of my anxiety rapidly calming down now that I’ve realized I won’t need to start a whole new life in Somewhere California has made me feel numb and kind of bored.