15. Ivy
FIFTEEN
IVY
He claims my mouth with a desperation that leaves my body singing. Sparks crackle through my veins, my brain short-circuiting as every thought disappears beneath the only one that matters.
Riot is fucking kissing me.
He’s kissing me.
There’s nothing soft about how he takes me. It’s desperate, the kind of possession that leaves fingerprints on your skin and marks on your heart. The frantic need pulsing from him has my vision spinning and my heart hammering.
I moan against his mouth, melting into him as he takes everything and leaves more behind.
Everything tunnels to this moment, to him, to what it means to have him kiss me like I’m the air in his lungs.
I want him closer, need him touching every part of my soul. My stomach pools with heat, and my fingers cling to his shirt, as if I’m trying to become one with him.
I take everything I have craved for months—every stolen look across the room, every hand on my back, every dimpled smile, every uttered ‘Vee’—and I devour him just as completely.
I brace for the fear to settle in my bones, for the disgust I always feel when I think about my body and being touched, but it doesn’t come.
It never does when I’m around him.
Maybe I’m not dirty, or unworthy, or the other storm of words my ex slapped on me.
The way Riot’s hands are on my hips, holding me steady, doesn’t say disgust. It’s not the cruel touch of a man who wants to control me, to own me.
It’s Riot. My Riot.
So, when he slides his tongue along the seam of my lips, I willingly open to him and let him slip inside.
His kiss is insistent as he takes what he wants, and when his fingers slide into the hair at my nape, I let out a breathy groan against his lips, my body liquid.
“Fuck, Vee.” His voice is hoarse, rasped between gulped breaths.
Our lips unlock only for the time it takes to suck in air, to re-inflate our lungs, before crashing together again.
I’ve never kissed anyone like this before, like there’s no beginning or end to each other. Like my next heartbeats depend on him.
Each sweep of his tongue against mine repairs a little piece of the shattered remains Link left behind. I am worthy of love, I am desirable, and I am not broken.
Teeth and tongues clash. A feral hunger ignites as I arch into him. I could live in this kiss, lose myself to its intensity, its heat, and the fever burning between my legs.
My knees threaten to buckle as his hands tighten on me. A giddy, euphoric laugh bubbles inside me, and I feel alive for the first time in months.
He pulls back, gulping down air like he’s suffocating. His chest heaves, and he rests his forehead against mine, as if he can join our thoughts with touch.
I’ve given up trying to re-inflate my broken lungs. There is not enough oxygen in this world that could stop this feeling carrying me as if on the wind.
“Fuck, Vee.” His words are breathy and raw.
“Was that… was that okay?” I don’t know why I ask it, and I wish I could take it back the moment the words leave my mouth.
Might as well have asked him to score my performance.
He laughs under his breath then cups my cheeks with his hands. Strong, safe…
Mine .
“It was fuckin’ perfect,” he assures me.
A sound from behind the door floods my veins with panic. I step out of his hold, like we’re dumb kids caught doing something we shouldn’t.
Riot says nothing as my brother comes around the door, but I feel the heat of his gaze. I almost squirm under that stare, and that heat builds again between my legs.
“Don’t you two ever sleep?” Toby yawns, shuffling over to the plug socket and pulling out his phone charger.
I move to the cot to check on Seren, needing a moment to recalibrate. She’s asleep and oblivious to the fire burning between me and the man I’ve wanted for months. I can feel him on my lips, taste him in my mouth, and if my brother looks hard enough, he’ll see how flustered I am.
Fuck. I just kissed Riot, and we nearly got caught.
So, what if we did?
It’s not like we’re doing anything wrong.
My heart is racing so fast, I’m surprised Toby can’t hear it. The sexual tension is so thick in the air that it’s hard to breathe, but he doesn’t notice.
Why would he?
This isn’t an unusual scene. Riot and I hang out all the time.
You’re not usually having your mouth devoured by him though.
It was risky to kiss here, where anyone could have walked in. We’re lucky it was Toby and not Mace or Maylie.
“Could ask the same thing of you, kid,” Riot says, and I hear the crack of control he’s struggling to maintain. “It’s late.”
“Ain’t that late,” he counters. “Wanna co-op?”
My stomach sinks. I love my brother, but right now, I need him to leave.
“Dude, it’s nearly midnight. Bed.” Riot’s voice is tight, like he’s about to lose his shit if Toby doesn’t disappear in the next three seconds.
I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, stifling my smile. Warm and wanted, it’s a dizzying combination.
“She won’t even know,” Toby counters. “Just one game.”
Before Riot can strangle him, I throw my brother a life raft he didn’t know he needed. “Go to bed, dork.”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m not a kid, and you call me a dork as if it’s an insult.”
“You are a kid and you are a dork, and you can rot your brain with all the games you want tomorrow. But bed… now.”
I don’t hear what he mutters as he leaves the room. My eyes are locked on Riot’s in a tug that seems woven into the cosmos. The way he’s looking at me, like he’s burning with need, sends waves of heat through me.
I don’t move. Don’t breathe either.
“Come here.” It’s a low growl that sends shivers trailing up my spine.
I go to him.
How can I not when he commands it so fully?
His hand wraps around my nape the moment I’m within reach. Possessive. Dominant. And I melt into his touch. My body wants this, demands it, as if I’ve been waiting for him my entire life.
It’s everything I shouldn’t want or crave, and with anyone else, I wouldn’t.
But Riot… he’ll never hurt me.
“You okay?”
It’s not what I expect him to ask, so my brows draw together. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“I want you to feel safe with me.” The walls I built to keep out my pain, hold back my suffering, and stop anyone getting too close begin to crumble.
I’ll let him have my most vulnerable parts, the ones I’ve hidden from everyone… even myself.
Because he’s earned this.
He deserves to have all the pieces of me, even the ones that aren’t whole.
I roll to the balls of my feet, and I kiss him. I let everything I’m feeling leak into it, showing him rather than trying to find the right words.
His fingers tangle in my hair, and I cling to his biceps like he’s the only thing anchoring me to this reality.
“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to do that,” he murmurs.
“Probably not as long as I’ve waited,” I say with a smile.
He leads me over to the couch, and we sit, as we always do, but this time, I’m tucked against his side.
Close…
His.
Fingers cup my hip, keeping me in place—not that I’m moving—and I lean my head against his shoulder. This… this is something I never thought I could have. In the darkest of my nightmares, there was never a glimpse of happiness.
Not like this.
He flicks the TV on, and I snuggle against him like a lazy kitten as he picks a movie.
I never want to wake up from this.
And for a moment, I forget about my ex, I forget about mysterious teddy bears, and I just breathe into the warmth surrounding me.