Chapter Nine
Jade
I stood at Haven’s entrance, smoothing nonexistent wrinkles from my navy dress for the twentieth time.
The fabric felt foreign against my skin after weeks of living in jeans and T-shirts.
Every few seconds, I checked my watch, then scanned the road leading to the gate, waiting for the familiar rumble of Rip’s motorcycle.
My stomach twisted into knots that tightened with each passing minute.
Today I would face Eric in court, and despite the protection order already in place, the thought of being in the same room with him made my hands shake so badly I had to clasp them together.
A month had passed since I’d received that notice, thirty days of building dread and sleepless nights.
Thirty days of Rip’s steady presence, of motorcycle rides that temporarily freed me from the prison of my own fear.
I’d come to rely on those rides almost as much as I relied on Rip himself, though I tried not to examine that dependence too closely.
Ada appeared beside me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. “You sure you don’t want me to drive you two? That dress isn’t exactly made for riding.”
“I need the ride,” I said, my voice firmer than I’d expected.
“It’s the only thing that helps settle me.
” Except Rip. But I kept that part to myself.
I hadn’t discussed my feelings with Rip because I didn’t know what to tell him.
I wasn’t sure I trusted myself yet, despite knowing in my soul the man was the best thing to ever happen to me.
She nodded, understanding without judgment. “Rip will keep you safe.”
The certainty in her voice made my eyes sting. I believed her. That was the terrifying part. I’d believed others before. But this felt different. Rip felt different.
“Jade!” The voice came from a distance, and I turned to see Mia running toward us.
She must have come from the back of the property where it joined with the edge of the Kiss of Death compound.
She and I had talked a few times. We weren’t OK, but I thought there might come a time when she might not forgive me, exactly, but could look at me and not get that flash of anger in her eyes.
“Hi, Mia.” I did my best to smile at the woman who had been my best friend in the whole world. “Is everything OK?”
Mia stopped in front of me. “Of course, everything’s OK.
I wanted to…” She shook her head slightly.
Oktober, her boyfriend and the man who’d saved her life when she’d been trapped in a wildfire, followed her but stayed out of our space.
“I’m sorry, Jade. I’ve been avoiding you the closer we got to your hearing because I was too big a coward to promise I’d be there with you. ”
I jerked in surprise, actually stumbling a step backward. “Mia, I would never expect --”
“I know,” she interrupted. “The truth is he wronged us both. If it hadn’t been for his treatment of you, none of this would have happened. And no matter how much it hurt… that day… What happened to me was nothing compared to what he put you through.”
“I could have left him. Should have. I still don’t fully understand why I didn’t.
” I looked down at my feet before whispering.
“But I don’t want you anywhere near him, Mia.
Especially not on my behalf. The last thing you want is him fixating on you.
” I glanced behind her at Oktober, who waited a respectful distance away.
“I know Oktober will protect you. I’m glad you have him.
But don’t stop watching out for Eric. You know as well as I do he doesn’t like to lose. ”
“I do.” She reached out and took my hand. “I can’t go into the courtroom with you. I’m not sure I’m ready to see him knowing the violence he’s capable of and how angry he was at me. But I will gladly go with you to the courthouse. Oktober said Rip is going inside with you.”
“Yes.” I took a breath and smiled at her. “Thank you, Mia. I appreciate the offer. I may have to ask you to do that at some point, but not today. I need to do this on my own as much as I can.”
The distant rumble of an engine cut through our conversation, growing louder until I could feel the vibration in my chest. I straightened, adjusting the small backpack purse I’d chosen for practicality.
My heart kicked against my ribs as Rip’s motorcycle appeared at the gate, the guard waving him through with a solemn nod.
He looked different today. No leather cut with the Kiss of Death insignia across the back.
Instead, he wore dark jeans with a plain black suit jacket, crisp black shirt underneath.
But nothing could disguise the kind of dangerous man he was.
The set of his shoulders, the scarred knuckles gripping the handlebars, the rigid way he held himself screamed danger to anyone looking. To me, he looked like safety.
He pulled up directly in front of me, cutting the engine. For a moment, he just looked at me, his dark eyes taking in the tremor in my hands I couldn’t quite control. He didn’t smile.
“You ready?” he asked, his voice rough at the edges.
“No,” I admitted. “But we’re going anyway.”
The corner of his mouth lifted slightly. “That’s my girl.”
The casual claim hit me square in the chest. The words shouldn’t have affected me, but they did. I swallowed hard and stepped forward. “I know I should have asked for a car,” I said, gesturing at my dress. “But I need --”
“I know what you need,” he cut me off gently. “We’ll make it work.”
He swung his leg over the bike and held it steady. I hesitated, looking down at my dress, then back at him. Without a word, he reached into one of the saddlebags and pulled out a small elastic hair tie.
“Come here,” he said. “Get on the bike and I’ll fix your dress.
” He helped me on and he showed me how to carefully gather the excess fabric of my dress to one side, securing it with the cord so it wouldn’t catch in the wheel or fly up indecently.
“We all watch out for the old ladies when they ride,” he explained when I raised an eyebrow.
“We’re a possessive bunch. No one likes anyone else seeing their woman’s ass. ”
As he probably intended, I snorted a laugh. But his casual comment and how he fit us into those same dynamics really shouldn’t have warmed my insides the way it did. “Thanks, Rip.” I smiled up at him. Rip knew I didn’t mean about my dress.
“That should hold.” He grinned at me, then climbed on in front of me carefully.
I scooted closer to him. I knew the drill by now. He liked me as close as I could get. When I wrapped my arms around him, he placed one of his big hands over mine, his thumb brushing over my skin briefly before he started the engine.
The familiar vibration rolled through me, and I pressed my face between his shoulder blades, closing my eyes as we pulled away from Haven.
The wind caught my ponytail, whipping it behind me.
The roar of the motor drowned out my thoughts, making it impossible to dwell on what awaited us at the courthouse.
This was why I needed to ride, but only with Rip. It felt like being anchored and free all at the same time.
We merged onto the highway, and Rip opened up the throttle. I felt the tension begin to leak out of me as the city blurred around us. For these precious minutes, there was no Eric. No court date. No past to haunt me. Just the road, the wind, and Rip’s solid presence between me and the world.
The noise and vibration made conversation impossible, which suited me fine.
Words wouldn’t help now anyway. All the words in the world couldn’t prepare me for facing Eric again.
But the primal sensations of speed and wind and the closeness to a man who had become my obsession gave me something words could never express.
My grip around Rip’s waist loosened slightly as my body relaxed. I felt his hand briefly cover mine again. He knew what was happening. Knew that I needed this moment before I could face what came next.
All too soon, the downtown skyline loomed ahead, the glass-and-steel towers catching the morning light. Rip slowed as we approached the exit for the courthouse. The knots returned to my stomach, tightening with each block we covered.
When we finally pulled into the courthouse parking lot, I didn’t immediately let go. I kept my arms wrapped around him, my forehead pressed against his back, trying to absorb some of his strength for what lay ahead.
“You can do this,” he said quietly, his voice vibrating through his back into my chest. As if my ability to face this challenge was an established fact, not in question. “I’ve got your back. I’ll be with you the whole time.”
I took one more deep breath, drawing in the leather and soap scent of him before I nodded and released my grip. “Yes,” I said, more to myself than to him. “I can do this.”
* * *
Rip
I’d been in enough government buildings to know what they smelled like before I walked through the door.
Floor wax and recycled air and the weight of decisions made about people’s lives by people who didn’t have to live with the consequences.
Courthouses had their own version of it.
Just with more marble and more echo. The columns out front were the kind meant to make you feel small before you ever stepped inside, and they did the job.
Jade clung to me the whole ride over and stayed that way when we parked. I didn’t push her. It felt good to know she took some small comfort in my presence. Besides, I loved the feel of her arms wrapped around me. No matter the reason.
“I know you’re not ready,” I commented after a while. “But it’s time.”
She gave a heavy sigh that sounded like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders, which she probably did. “I know.” She rubbed her face once more against my back before carefully dismounting.