CHAPTER 3
AVA
There were tears in my eyes as I stumbled and bumbled my way down the stairs. By some miracle I didn’t go rolling down them though, and by the time I reached the bottom I had pulled back the useless tears,
It hurt to walk away from Jack after saying the things I said, but none of it was untrue, and even if he did still care for me, he’d be better off not bothering.
I had told him the Ava he knew was long gone and I had meant it.
The Ava, who was fun, feisty, free, and crushing like a teenager on both him and Mason had started to die that night I ran from the club, and in the decade since she had continued to wither away until all that remained of me was nothing but the empty shell that vaguely resembled the girl Jack once knew.
I had no idea what my future held, but it definitely didn’t involve a relationship, and certainly not one that Jack and Mason needed – a D/s relationship.
All I could focus on was keeping my failing body going long enough to ensure Colt was safe, and then I’d return home, to the way things were.
There was no other life out there for what remained of me.
I was fading as I walked through the back area of the club and finally made it back to the entrance.
The stairs had been more than my weak legs could handle, so they were beginning to spasm.
My entire being was shaking from sheer exhaustion and the pain down my back was taking my breath from me with each step.
I bypassed the front desk and moved for the door out to the street. I didn’t have time to linger. I knew it wouldn’t be long before my body just gave out on me if I didn’t get sat down soon.
“Hey!” A deep voice called after me as I stepped outside and continued walking. I glanced back and saw Deak - the large security guy from earlier - coming after me. “Where are you going?”
“None of your business,” I told him as I turned forward and again and just focused on not slipping. If I fell again there would be no getting up this time, not as exhausted as I was.
“It’s late and it’s not safe for you to be walking around alone. At least let me get you a cab,” he said, and I knew he was close behind me from the thud of his heavy boots on the sidewalk.
“I have my car around the corner, and I can handle myself, but thanks.”
“I’ll walk you to your car then.” Before I could even tell him I didn’t need him to, he was at my side, keeping stride with me.
“Aren’t you needed at the club?” I asked, even my voice sounding done for the day, coming out quiet and with a tremble.
“Someone’s covering for me. Did you find your brother?” he asked.
“No. Not yet, but I will.”
“Where is he? I haven’t seen him this week.” Deak asked.
“I don’t know,” I sighed tiredly. I paused, and tried to stretch my legs a little, shifting my weight from one foot to the other to try and ease the spasms in my thighs.
Tears filled my eyes again and I swiped at them angrily with my free hand.
I didn’t fucking cry! I never cried and this was twice in one damned night,
“Sweetheart…” Deak started to move closer when he saw my watery eyes and I quickly lowered my face as I stepped backwards away from him.
“Don’t! I’m fine,” I told him as I pulled myself together enough to raise my head again.
“It’s been a tough day, I’m guessing?” he asked.
A laugh bubbled out of me and I sniffled as I tried to pul it back together. “Yeah, let’s go with that,” I added as I forced myself to get moving again.
“Is the pain in your back, or your legs?” he asked as he resumed his slow pace at my side.
“What?”
“It’s obvious you’re in pain. I can see it all over your face every time you take a step, so back, or legs?” he repeated.
“Both,” I confessed, too tired to think of any wise remarks to throw back. “I was shot in the back. One bullet left me with a spinal injury, so my back hurts, my legs hurt. Everything fucking hurts, but it’s nothing new.”
“You were shot?” Deak gasped.
“I was a cop, so I really can take care of myself. You don’t have to keep walking with me.”
“Fine, but I’m gonna do it anyway.”
“Why?” I growled and I turned and looked up into his emerald-green eyes. We were under a street light and they seemed to sparkle under it. “You don’t know me. Do you walk every girl who leaves the club alone to her car?”
“I try to. Like I said, it’s not that safe around here. I take my job seriously.”
“So this is just you doing your job?” I asked incredulously. Maybe it was because my job had made me cynical, or maybe it was because I gave up hoping for there to be good in people a long time ago, but either way I was shocked he’d go to such lengths to protect women he barely knew.
“Partly, but it’s also because Colt is a friend, and he would hate to think of you out on these streets alone. If he were at the club, would he really have let you leave alone this late at night?”
“He’s not here though, so what does that matter?” I sighed.
“He’s not, but I am and until he comes back to take care of you, I want to look out for you, okay?”
“I don’t need a damned babysitter!” I snapped.
“Good, because I’d make a shit babysitter. I’m shit with kids,” he stated so matter of fact it made me smile just a fraction.
“You’re friends with my brother?” I asked, changing the subject and accepting he wasn’t going to just leave me.
“Yeah. I’ve known him from the club for years. When I had a change of circumstances a few years ago, he helped me out and gave me the job at the club. I owe him,” Deacon explained.
“A change of circumstances?” I questioned. I was pushing, but that had been such an odd way to phrase it.
“I was training and competing as a strongman. I’d just qualified for World’s Strongest Man and I was at the top of my game.
I was engaged and things were perfect, but during a training session I collapsed and got rushed into the hospital.
Tests were done and it turned out my heart’s fucked up from all of the training, and the strain it caused.
Long story short, I can no longer compete and I had to lose a lot of my body mass to make my heart safer.
My fiancé left me too. She wanted to marry a celebrity, not a security guard,” he explained.
He kept his voice flat as he spoke, but I could see the hurt and feel his loss from the expressions on his face.
He had lost something he loved – his dream. I got that.
“I’m sorry,” I uttered as I studied him again. He was ripped with muscle everywhere I could see, and I had to wonder how much bigger he’d been before. He already completely dwarfed me.
“It’s all good. I’ve moved on, and I have your brother to thank for that.”
“He’s a good person. I owe him a lot too,” I told him honestly. God, I missed Colt so much. I hated myself for keeping him away from me for so long. What if I never got him back?
“What’s going on? Maybe I can help you track him down?” Deak asked.
“Did he say anything to you about borrowing some money?” I asked.
“I knew he was having a hard time because of that bullshit investigation. Has something happened to him?” Deak sounded worried now, and I realized he truly must care about Colt to worry so much.
“I hope not,” I replied. “But maybe. He left voicemails for Jack and Mason last week saying he was coming to stay with me for a while, but he never showed, than, last night, someone broke into my apartment and said they were looking for Colt, and this guy wasn’t a concerned citizen.”
“He do that to your face?” Deak asked. He moved his hand as though he was going to touch my face, but dropped it just as quickly.
“He was the one who ran off like a scared little bitch in the end,” I assured him.
“So what’s your next move? I’m guessing you searched Colt’s office?”
“Yeah. Nothing there. I’m going to his apartment to check his office there, and I’ll stay there tonight. Mason is filing a missing person’s report too.”
“You’re going to Colt’s place alone?”
“Yes.”
“No. You’re not,” he dictated with a grimace..
“Excuse me?” I snapped as I paused again and turned to face him.
“Look, I get it. You’re feisty and you don’t like help, but I also see how much pain you’re in, and how exhausted you are. Trust me, I know a shit ton about injuries and pain after a decade of training and competing.”
“It’s nothing new. I was in pain and exhausted when I fought off the intruder last night. I’m tougher than I look,” I told him.
“I see that too, but can you honestly say you’ll be safe if you get to Colt’s place and there are armed men waiting there for you. Are you up to that right now?” he pushed.
“I’d survive. I always do,” I shrugged.
“You’d survive a lot better if you weren’t alone. Just let me come with you and make sure the place is secure for the night, okay? You know I’m safe. I’m sure you know how many checks your brother does on the security staff who work at Temple .”
He was right. Colt vetted all the club staff, but none more so than the security staff. His first priority was always the safety of the people who came to Temple , particularly the subs who came there alone and put their trust in Colt and the people who worked for him to keep them safe.
“Yeah, okay. Just until I get inside and check the place out,” I acquiesced.
“Good. Now, where’s your car, because I don’t think you’re gonna make it much further, sweetheart,” he said as he nodded down to where my stick was shaking violently in my hold.
“I’ll make it,” I told him resolutely. Maybe stubborn determination was all that was keeping me going right then, but I would make damn sure I made it to my car, and through whatever came next in order to get to Colt.
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