CHAPTER 14 #3
I sighed and tried to move away from him, thinking it would be easier to tell him the truth if we weren’t so close, but he wasn’t going to allow that, and I wasn’t going to fight his dominance.
Quite the contrary – I needed it right then, and it was turning me on no end.
I hadn’t had sex for over two years, and I was pretty sure I had never had really good sex.
Jack, Mason, and Deacon seemed to have relit my libido and then some.
“No love, no more running,” Jack said as he wrapped his free arm around my back and pulled me right into his front, holding me as close to his body as he could.
He smelled and looked amazing, and I had no idea how.
It was barely six A.M. for Christ’s sake!
Jack moved his hand from the nape of my neck and placed his finger under my chin, lifting my face until I was gazing up at him, just as he wanted me to.
“No more hiding from us either. You can be as snarky and defensive as you need to be with others, but not with Mace and I. We know you too well, and we see right through it. Now, tell me what happened and why you tried to push me away again. You told us you’d stop doing that,” he reminded me with a questioning lift of his eyebrow.
“I’ve been taking care of myself for a really long time Jack, and that snark, as you called it, is what kept me safe. Just because I know you guys see through it, doesn’t mean I can just drop it. It’s a part of my now. My armor,” I tried to explain.
“You don’t need armor now. You have us,” he told me as he moved his hand from under my chin and cupped my right cheek instead.
I pressed into his touch and gave a weak nod.
I knew they believed that, and I did too if I were honest, but that didn’t mean I would drop everything that I had used for so long to try and protect myself.
Having them at my back was everything, but it would never make me stop taking care of myself too.
“It was my scars,” I admitted, changing the subject. “When you looked in at me, then looked away, I thought it was because you couldn’t face my scars. I mean… I get it of you feel that way. Who’d want to look at me in this state?” I laughed, but it fell flat.
“Me. I want to look at you at all times, but especially when you’re showing me your beautiful, sexy as hell body.
I don’t want to hear you talking like that again, do you understand?
You’re perfect the way you are. Those scars just prove everything you’ve survived and remind me how lucky I am to have a bloody warrior as my woman. ”
“A broken warrior maybe,” I scoffed.
“I told you I didn’t want to hear that crap anymore,” Jack hissed as he stared me down.
“It’s the truth Jack. I am broken, mind and body. It’s no use any of us denying that, because it’s a fight I have to deal with daily, and you will too if you really want to be with me.”
“Then it’s a fight we’ll all face together – You, me, and Mace.
Deacon too if you want. No matter what comes, we’ll deal with it together, but now more doubting the way I feel about you.
No more talk about your scars. I want you to see yourself the way I do.
I want you to know how sexy and perfect you are, but we can work on it. For now, tell me how you’re feeling?”
“Better. Actually, I feel pretty good this morning. Better than I have in months. I guess I did need the rest.”
“You did. You pushed yourself way too hard. That’s not going to happen again, is it?” He asked with another raise of his eyebrow.
“I have to find Colt. I don’t have time to give in to my pathetic body!”
“We will all find Colt, darlin’ but you can’t keep pushing yourself to the point of losing consciousness. You have to take care of yourself and you have to let us help. When we do find Colt, he’s going to need you,” he pointed out.
“I have to be a part of finding him, Jack. I let him down so many times, but I won’t do it again. I have to do everything I can,” I argued as tears filled my eyes.
Jack wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head on his shoulder as the tears silently fell. I had my arms wrapped so tightly around him, but I needed that. I needed something solid to hold on to so I wouldn’t fall apart again.
“You’ve never let him down, Ave, but I know you need to be a part of getting him back and Mace and I would never stop you from doing that. We just ant you to let us take care of you though. We’re not finding Colt at the cost of your health He wouldn’t want that and you know it.”
I swiped at the tears covering my cheeks, then lifted my head to meet Jack’s eyes. He was looking down at me with concern, but he forced the hint of a smile when my eyes met his.
“I’m so scared,” I admitted as I locked my hands behind his neck and pressed my body against his. “S-scared we’ll be too late. I just…I don’t know what I’ll do if….” God, I couldn’t even ay it. It hurt too much.
“Sshh, love. He’s a smart bloke. If there’s any way he can get away he will. There’s still time for us to find him. You have to cling to that hope.”