CHAPTER 15 #2
“What is it, Ava? Do we need to stop?” he asked gently as he tuned enough to crawl up the bed to me.
In a matter of seconds I found myself wrapped in his arms, my back pressed to his front as he held me tight.
“Deep breath for me,” he urged and I knew he thought I was panicking, and I was, but not the way he assumed.
“I’m okay,” I told him. My breaths were a little short, but that was because of the need he’d built in me, not because I was losing it.
“When you feel ready, I want you to tell me what happened, but take your time. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
I was cursing myself for panicking for such a stupid reason and stopping everything, especially knowing I would have to explain why to Jack.
It was mortifying, but I also couldn’t deny how good it felt to just be in his arms as he gave me the care he was obliged to as a dom.
After care was a huge part of D/s play, and I had always loved it.
Coming back down from the nirvana Jack and Mace could always take me to, to find myself curled up in one of their arms as the other fussed over me, wrapping a blanket around me and giving me sips of water – it was heaven.
I think sometimes I had missed that more in the decade I spent alone, than the peace and perfection I felt at their hands when we played.
I never felt like Jack and Mason gave after care because they were obliged to.
The love and are they showed me meant so much more than an obligation.
It had always been plain to see and feel, just as it was right then as Jack held me so protectively.
“Ava? Do you want me to cover you up, or get some water, darlin’?” he offered.
“No.” I took a deep breath, then lifted my head so I was looking at him upside down. “You…you d-didn’t trigger me. I’m okay.”
“The truth, remember? Always the truth. I saw panic on your face,” he reprimanded gently.
“God, this is so embarrassing,” I groaned as I lowered my head and covered my face.
Jack slid out from under me, laying me down flat so he could lean up over me, laid on his side facing me, his head propped on his elbow.
“Nothing between us is embarrassing. When we played together communication and honesty were everything. Now, things between us are different. Your ours now, and taking care of you means even more, if that’s possible.
Honesty and communication will be even more important on both sides. Don’t you agree?” he asked.
Fine!” I sighed dramatically. “If you’re gonna go and get all serious on me.”
“Tell me, Ava. I never want to scare you,” he commanded.
“I was more worried about scaring you,” I uttered more to myself.
“Scaring me? What the bloody hell are you talking about?” he asked with a confused smirk. God, he was even better lucking when he smiled.
“Fuck!” I hissed as I turned so I lay on my side facing him. He was right about honesty, but did we really have to be this open?! “You saw me when I arrived here, right? I’m a mess.”
“You’re not…”
“Jack.” I cut him off. “I am. I have barely spoken to another person outside of the odd call with Colt in almost two years. I was living in a dive, and drinking myself to sleep every night. I cut off everyone in my life and only ever ventured out the bare minimum of groceries and my supply of vodka. Going to the drug store to replenish my meds was getting to be too much interaction for me to dal with, to the point I was considering not even refilling the prescriptions any more. I was a mess. Still am.”
“I have to thing of you living like that. I wish you’d reached out to me and Mason. Even if you’d just told Colt,” he sighed as he laid down and pulled me so I half lay on him.
“I should have been honest with Colt. I know that now, but I can’t change that,” I sighed as I snuggled into him and wrapped an arm across his waist. “Anyway, the point is, taking care of myself wasn’t exactly a priority.
I haven’t had sex since before the shooting.
Applying makeup, and even brushing my hair seemed pointless to me.
At first personal care was pretty impossible too.
Physio gave me enough flexibility to start shaving my legs, which was good because hair there itches like a motherfucker, but I…
I haven’t taken the time to even try shaving other areas…
you know, below the waist,” I admitted. I was sure my face was beet red with the confession and I was so embarrassed to be admitting to such a personal issue.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Please don’t tell me that’s why you stopped me getting a taste I’ve waited far too fucking long to get,” he groaned loudly.
“Seriously Jack. Did you see it down there? I haven’t looked lately but I’m pretty sure it looks like sasquatch is hibernating between my damned legs!” I cried.
“Lay back and get your hand back on that pillow,” he growled as he rose up and moved so he was over me again. “I’m getting that taste of you, Ava, you insane bloody woman.”
“You cannot put your face down there, Jack. At least let me visit a damned beauty salon to get it looking slightly less wild!” I cried as I grabbed his shoulders in an attempt to stop him.
“Lay down, hands on the pillow and do not move, or else I’ll show you a whole new level of denial,” he told me, but there was a smirk on his face that had b=me lying back with a huff and returning my hands to the pillow.
“Just don’t blame me if you’re coughing up furballs for the next week,” I told him dryly.
“No more talking unless you need to tell me to stop, Ava.”
I started to let out a huff again, but stopped as Jack pushed my legs open and dove into my center like he really had been waiting a decade to do so.
“Jack!” I cried in shock.
“After this you, me, and Mace are going to have a talk about new punishments in the bedroom. I think some light spanking might make you focus a little better,” he said as he glared up at me playfully.
I was surprised how those words made my heart beat speed up and my core pulse.
Maybe I could handle them spanking me. Maybe I wanted them to too.
When I glanced down I could see him watching me, a smirk on his face and those watchful beautiful eyes filled with heat. He peeled down my panties, then tossed them behind him.
A cry of shock and delight burst from me and he dove right back in, toying with my clit as he pushed a finger deep inside me too.
He wasn’t going easy, and in just seconds I was already on the brink of an orgasm – something I hadn’t had without the aid of my own hand since the last time I was with him and Mason.
I wanted to cry out again, but I tried to submit to Jack’s demand that I don’t speak as he ate at me like a man possessed.
It was perfection and too much all at once.
I tried to push my legs closed as sensation overwhelmed me, but Jack just wrapped his strong arms around my thighs and pushed them, holding me open and at his mercy.
“Jack!” I almost yelled as heat crept up my spine and felt like it was setting me on fire all over.
“Come for me, love,” Jack uttered, the words vibrating against my center.
“Yes!” I gasped as my orgasm consumed me, setting alight every nerve ending in my body.
My back arched off of the bed. Jack slowed his ministrations but didn’t stop, licking over every inch of me as I fell back against the bed again and tried to breathe through my gasping.
My eyes were closed and I still felt as if I were floating, as Jack started to move up the bed.
He laid beside me and pulled me onto his chest again, wrapping his huge arm tight around me.
“Color?” he asked as he ran his hand up and down the top of my arm softly.
“Green,” I mumbled happily. “So Green. The Hulk Green.”
“ The Hulk ?” he laughed.
“Yeah,” I sighed. “You just fully Hulk -ed me.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment, I think.”
“You totally should,” I laughed as I opened my eyes and looked up at him.
I felt a little spacey, but in the most amazing way.
“Do you want to…” I nodded down to where his huge erection was straining against the front of his boxers.
I had seen him naked when we did some scenes in private rooms at the club, but we’d never had sex, not outside of my dreams anyway.
“Not now. That took a lot out of you. I can see you look tired,” he said affectionately as he stroked a hand through my almost dry hair. “I want you to try and rest. It’s still early.”
“Why were you dressed then? Do you always get up that early?” I questioned.
“I was going to head over to my gym, then I heard you moving around. I only meant to check on you.”
“Well I’m definitely all good now, so if you still want to go to the gym, you should.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere right now. I’m right where I want to be,” he told me as he held me even closer and flicked the edge of the comforter over me so I was covered. “Rest now. I’ll wake you in a couple of hours.”
“I love you Jack,” I admitted as I moved my head up to see his face above me. “I think I loved you since the first time you held me after our first session together. I’m sorry I ran from you.”
“You’re here now, and That’ all that matters. I’m never letting you run again,” he promised as he laid a kiss on the top of my head. I snuggled into him and hoped like hell I never felt the need to run again, because right there, I felt like I was right where I was supposed to be too.