CHAPTER 18
MASON
As soon as we walked through the entrance of the emergency department I pulled a wheelchair from the bank near the door and spun it towards Ava who was stubbornly refusing any help as she struggled like hell to walk on her own, leaning so much weight on her stick Jack and I were terrified she was going to wind up toppling over it.
“Sit,” I told her, my tone brokering no argument.
I was so fucking worried about her. I knew she was tough as nails mentally, but physically there were days I was pretty sure she shouldn’t even be getting out of bed.
Add to that how hard she constantly pushed herself and she seemed to be weakening before our eyes with each day that passed.
She was constantly in so much pain and I wished more than anything that I could just take it on for her.
It tore me apart knowing there was so little we could do to help her.
There had to be more than could be done to make her comfortable on those tough days she had told us about, and that we were witnessing more of the longer she was with us.
None of it changed the way I felt for her.
I loved her. I had loved her for over a decade and she was mine no matter what, but I did fear I was going to lose her if things went on as they were.
“I’m not a dog!” She snapped at me.
“No, you’re a stubborn woman who is exhausted and in agony. Either you get in the wheelchair or I pick you up and carry you. Choose now because there’s no way Jack and I are watching you struggle any longer,” I told her in my most dominant voice, praying she would actually listen and just relent.
“Just use the chair, love, please. You said you use one at home anyway. How is this different? Mason’s right, you’re too exhausted to keep pushing tonight,” Jack added more gently.
Ava dropped the mask she had put up the second I had pulled the chair out, and all of her bravado fell away as her insecurity and fear showed through clearly. She started to chew on her lip as she glanced between us.
“I…I don’t want Colt to see me like this,” She admitted quietly, and instantly Jack moved to hold her.
This was why our dynamic worked so well.
I was a bossy asshole who loved control.
Sure, I could be gentle when Ava needed me to be, but I wasn’t great at it.
Jack liked control too, but he also had a softer, nurturing side that he thrived in, and that Ava needed at times.
Between us we could give her everything she needed, which was how neither of us had ever even thought about trying to start something with her alone.
She needed the both of us as much as we needed her.
“Do you plan to stay and be here for Colt now we have him back?” Jack asked softly. He had his arms wrapped around her as she pressed her face against his chest.
“Yes, of course.”
“Then Colt will find out about the shooting and about your injury. He’s going to see you on your good day and you bad because that man misses nothing and you know it.
You can’t hide this from him anymore, Ave, and you don’t need to.
Colt loves you. He would never think any less of you or what ever bullshit has you so scared to tell him what happened. Do you hear me?”
“I just want to see him,” she uttered and I could hear how tight her throat was.
She was fighting tears again and it broke my heart.
I hated the hell she had been through, and was still struggling to push through too.
We needed her to just let us in so we could at least help her to fight, but she w=really was the most stubborn woman.
“Then let’s go and find him, okay?” Jack told her as he turned her so she was before the wheelchair. He held onto her as he lowered her down to the seat and I sigh or f=relief left me when she just settled into it and lifted her feet onto the pads for them.
I leaned over her and kissed her temple softly as I spoke, “Thank you, baby. I can’t stand to watch you hurting.”
She turned her head and looked up at me, then placed her hand over my stubbled cheek and just held it for a moment.
She smiled just a little and it was enough for me to relax just a little.
I knew she was still in pain, but the fact she had allowed us to coax her into the chair gave me hope that she might one day stop fighting every time we tried to help her.
Jack asked at the reception desk about Colt and we were shown to a waiting room on the surgery floor.
A nurse explained that Colt had been stabbed multiple times and was going to be in surgery for a while.
She assured us a doctor would update us as soon as possible, then left us.
She couldn’t even tell us if he was stable for now, or any of the reassuring words I knew Ava needed to hear.
“St-stabbed?” Ava squeaked as she looked back at me with glassy eyes.
“He’s tough. He escaped. He’s not going to stop fighting now,” I told her as I fought to keep my own emotions in check. Losing Colt would break me too. He was my brother in everything but blood and my life would never look the same without him in it.
Jack pushed open the door to the waiting room and Kylan was running at us instantly. He stopped when he saw it was us and I saw the disappointment cross his face momentarily. He had hoped we were a doctor with news.
The guy looked even worse than he had the evening before.
He was even paler and his eyes were glassy with tears.
He was wearing sweats, a ratty sweater and his sneakers weren’t even a pair.
One was black and one was blue. If I didn’t believe from meeting him earlier that he loved Colt, I saw it now.
“Ava? What happened? Are you okay?” he gasped as he dropped down to his knees before her and placed a hand on her knee.
“I’m fine. Just tired and in pain. Have you heard anything?” she asked as she placed her hand over his and ran her other up and down his arm, trying to soothe him.
“No. They…the nurse…she said he’s been stabbed.
She said something about internal bleeding but I…
I don’t think I was listening properly. I’m so scared he won’t pull through.
I can’t get him back just to lose him again,” he said shakily.
I wondered when the last time was that he had eaten or slept.
His hands were shaking badly and the dark circles around his eyes were deep.
“We are not going to lose him. He knows we’re all here waiting for him and he won’t go without a hell of a fight. He has promises to keep, remember?” Ava told him and he nodded shakily. He stood and rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hands.
“You both need to try and rest while we’re waiting,” I told Ava and Ky as I looked between them. Colt was going to lose his shit when he woke up to find the two people he loved in the state they were.
“I can’t rest. I’ve barely slept since Ava told me Colt was missing,” Ky told me.
“Me neither. Can we get coffee?” Ava asked as she looked form me to Jack.
“I’ll go. I’ll see what I can find other that that crap that comes out of a machine,” Jack offered as he gave me a questioning look. I nodded to him, assuring him I’d stay with them both while he was gone.
Deacon arrived a few minutes after Jack walked out.
He helped me to persuade Kylan to actually sit and stop pacing.
Ava settled nest to him and she chatted quietly trying to reassure him and keep him calm.
Jack returned with coffee from the cafeteria downstairs.
It was shit, but better than the sludge from the machines.
Finally, after two hours of us all watching both Ky and Ava with so much worry, they both fell asleep, Ava went first, with her head resting on Ky’s shoulder, which meant he had to actually sit still, and moments later he was out too.
I just hoped that once they both found out Colt was out of danger, and set their eyes on him, they’d relax enough to eat and sleep the way the both desperately needed to.
Even though I barely knew Kylan, I felt the need to take care of him for Colt, knowing how important he had to be to him.
“Ava’s using a wheelchair now?” Deacon asked in little more than a whisper as he looked to Jack and I from where he sat opposite us.
“She told us she uses one at home, but we had to push her to use that one. She was in so much pain and dead on her feet. Once this is over and Colt is safe she needs to get a few days of rest,” Jack explained.
“She’s even paler tonight,” he sighed as he looked over at her.
“How serious are you about her?” I asked, unable to hold it in any more.
I saw the way he watched her and looked at her.
I felt the genuine care and concern in his words when he spoke with her, and fussed over her, but how much could he really be into her?
He hadn’t known her a week! She’s been ours for years.
“What do you want me to say, man?” he said as he turned to me with annoyance.
“I barely know her, but I’m serious enough to know I’m not walking away unless she tells me to.
I like her, and I’ve never felt for a woman the way I do her.
Maybe it won’t work but I want the chance to try with her.
Are you going to keep trying to stop that? ”
“Listen, this isn’t the time or place to be talking about this,” Jack told us both.