CHAPTER 18 #3
“I already told you, and I will again as many times as you need me to – I’m not going anywhere.
You’re stuck with me.” He leaned in and pressed his firm lips to mine, his slight stubble brushing against my skin with each small peck he gave me.
I wanted more. I wanted to know what it would feel like to really kiss him, but it wasn’t exactly the place.
“I know it’s weird, but I have to ask you about Jack and Mason too.
I’ve loved them for so many years, and now that I feel like I might have a chance to get my life back on track, I want them to be a part of it, just like I want you to be too.
God, I sound like a greedy bitch,” I groaned as I covered my face.
“I’ve spoken to the guys, and I know how much they mean to you. I understand that you love them, and more than that I think you need them too. I’m just hoping there’s space for you to love and need me too if this thing between us goes as I hope it will.”
“Me too,” I admitted. It was quite the turnaround.
I had gone from pushing everyone away when I arrived back in New York, telling myself constantly there could never be anything for me and any man, especially not Jack and Mason.
Now I was clinging to them tight and falling for a third guy. What the fuck was I doing?
My thoughts were abandoned and I was instantly on my feet when I saw Colt move the hand Kylan was clutching. I ignored the pain that shot up my back at the fast movement and hurried to Colt’s side.
“Colt?” He stirred and I saw his eyelids twitching. “Colt, open your damned eyes and look at me, please!” I begged in a hushed whisper.
“It m-must be bad if you’re s-saying pl-please,” he rasped, then he smiled, wincing right after because the movement obviously hurt his face.
“Oh God, Colt! Don’t you ever scare me like that again!” I scolded him tearfully as I clutched his hand and leaned in closer to his face just as he opened his eyes.
“Bam,” he whispered as he looked at me and tried to smile again.
“I’m here. Kylan too. You scared the shit out of all of us.”
“Ky?” Colt turned his head and I saw tears fill his eyes when they landed on his exhausted fiancé fast asleep, clutching his hand.
“You guys met?” he looked back to me warily and I glared at him.
“You’re such an idiot, Colt! Why would you feel like you need to hide who you are from me? I love you, no matter what. Don’t you know that?”
“Yes. I know it. I am an idiot,” he rasped as he looked behind me to where Deak had risen to his feet. “Deak?”
“Hey man,” Deak said as he gave Colt a chin lift.
“Deak’s been helping Jack, Mason, and me try to find you. I’m so sorry I didn’t answer your calls when you needed me,” I squeaked as my tears escaped and slid down my cheeks.
“Don’t you dare do that, Ava. Do not start blaming yourself for a thing that happened. It was all on me. I should have gone to Mace with what I found out. I’m guessing you found my file?”
“Yeah. I won’t call you an idiot again, but just know I thought it when I found what you’d been up to,” I sniffled as I swiped at my tears with my sleeve.
“Is Mason looking for that bastard? I gave the cops what I could when I was brought in, but I was a mess.”
“They found where they think you were held. Mace is there now,” I assured him. I winced as pain shit through my back at just the small movement of my arm and I knew I needed pain meds.
“What’s wrong?” Colt demanded instantly.
“Nothing. I’m fine,” I lied, but it wouldn’t hold long with the way Colt was now taking me in, scrutinizing every detail about me. Then he must have seen the wheelchair in the corner.
“Ava. I knew something was going on when you kept dodging my visits. Tell me,” Colt growled.
“I will, but not now, okay? You just woke up and you need to speak to Kylan because he’s not sleeping or eating he’s so worried.
I’m okay and I have the guys to help me.
We can talk later.” I was almost pleading as I looked into his eyes and urged him to just drop it.
The last thing I wanted to do was burden him with all of my crap right then.
“We’ve got her Colt. Just concentrate on getting better and getting out of here, okay?” Deacon backed me up and I was grateful.
“For now,” Colt nodded as he locked his eyes with mine. “But you will tell me everything when I get out of here. No more pushing me away.”
“Never again,” I agreed. “I thought I’d lost you.” The tearful words were barely out before Colt was pulling me into his side and wrapping his free arm around me. He kissed the top of my head and let out a deep sigh. “You should wake Ky. He needs to see you.”
“Do you like him?” Colt asked a little nervously.
“I love him. I think he’s perfect for you Colt. Hurry up and marry him as soon as you can,” I told him honestly.
The angle I was being pulled at to hug him was really straining my back so I kissed his cheek then pulled back grabbing the bed to steady myself when I wobbled too much. Deacon stepped up behind me too and wrapped his hand around my hip supportively.
“Ava…” Colt began as he looked to me with way too much worry. I wasn’t the one he needed to worry about. He was the one in a hospital bed.
“Ky!” I cut him off as I loudly woke his fiancé. Kylan startled awake and sat up looking to Colt with wide eyed fear, then he realized Colt was awake and they were in a tangled embrace as they clung to each other tightly.
Jack, who had obviously been woken by my shout appeared at my side and took my hand in his.
“He’s awake,” he said as he squeezed my hand reassuringly.
“He woke up a few minutes ago,” I sniffled as I fought to push down my raw emotions.
Colt and Ky were talking in hushed tones behind us but I tried hard not to listen, wanting them to have some privacy as they held each other emotionally.
They looked just as good together as I knew they would, even with Colt all bruised and bandaged.
“Come and sit back down, love. You’re dead on your feet,” Jack said as he took me from Deacon and sat with me curled up on his lap. I pressed my head against his chest and closed my eyes. The knowledge that Colt was awake and being his usual self was the greatest relief of my life.
“I should go and collect her pills. She needs to take them soon,” Deacon uttered quietly to Jack.
“I didn’t think of that. Would you mind, Mate?” Jack asked.
“No problem. I’ll stop for coffee too. Try to get her to eat something. It’s been hours,” Deak said.
“ She can make her own decision when to eat,” I told him as I open my eyes and looked to him with annoyance.
“Fine, then she should eat something soon before she falls on her ass,” Mason snarked as he leaned in to kiss me on the lips chastely. “Be good,” he added with a wink, then he slipped from the room with Jack apartment keys in his hand.
The sound of the door closing seemed to pull Colt and Ky from their moment and Colt turned back to where Jack and I sat, his smile falling as he studied me even harder.
“Don’t colt. I’m just tired,” I told him as I made myself sit up in Jack’s lap, despite the pain it caused.
“You’re so thin. What the fuck happened?” Colt demanded.
“Nothing.” I replied at the same time Jack blunted out the truth,
“She was shot on the job, two years ago. She has a spinal injury.”
“Jack!” I hissed in horror.
“You were shot? You found out you had a spinal injury and you didn’t fucking tell me!” Colt roared, then had to sit back as he became breathless.
“This is why I said we’d talk about it later. You need to rest and have calm,” I told him as I turned a quick glare to Jack.
“He needs to bloody know. You should have told him when it happened,” Jack told me.
“I’m fine,” Colt grimaced as he turned to look at me again. He stayed laid back against his pillows this time but he was still breathing too hard.
“Should you even be here? You look exhausted and so pale? Should she be here?” he asked as he looked over my head and to Jack.
“She needs to eat something and get some rest, but you know how stubborn she can be. Deacon’s gone to get her meds for the pain she’s in.”
“Pain? You’re in pain two years after it happened?” Colt asked as he looked to me again.
“No.” I said with a stubborn shake of my head. “We’re not discussing this anymore. You need to rest and stop worrying about me. I’m fine. You’re the one we need to worry about.”
“I’ll worry about Kylan, so he can worry about you, sweetie.” Ky spoke up and I turned my glare on him
“You!” I snapped as I pointed at him. “I thought you were my friend.”
“I am, always, but it’s time for you to come clean with your brother, Ava. He won’t relax until he knows everything. You know that,” Ky sighed.
“I just want it noted I’m against this marriage if it means the two of you constantly ganging up on me,” I said more playfully as I looked between Ky and my brother.
“Ava?” Colt pushed, stopping the distraction I had hoped to initiate.
“My injury is chronic,” I sighed. “No cure. No fixing it. I have pain and numbness. I have issues with balance and I get exhausted really easily and quickly. There’s nothing doctors can do other than give me pills to manage some of it.”
“You were shot in the back?” Colt asks and I nod.
“My partner was shot. I thought I’d taken the perp down, but when I went to try and help my partner, the fucker shot me in the back.
I managed to get my gun and take him down, but it meant the end of my career.
The CPD gave me a shitty pension and slammed the door in my face, but I was the lucky one. My partner died on scene.”
“Why the fuck would you not call me when that happens? Why have you been dealing with this alone all while pushing me away?” he demanded. He looked exhausted and I hated that I was wearing him out even more.
“I was embarrassed and ashamed of how broken I am now. I didn’t want you to see me like this, or worse, how I was right after it happened.”