Chapter 16
MATTEO
I figured I could spend the afternoon with Gianna, kissing in the garden like I used to do with my girlfriends once upon a time, when I was still a teenager, before I moved out. But maybe that plan was already doomed the moment I decided to take her to the gazebo.
That place was not just my mom’s favorite spot in the garden. She could literally spend a whole day, or night, there if no one was paying attention. Someone usually was. Not on the night she took all those pills though.
My dad never spoke about my mom’s addiction to pain killers, or her depression and she tried to pretend nothing was wrong in front of us kids.
But she had bouts of depression so deep we wouldn’t see her for days.
And days with so much energy she couldn’t stop moving.
I loved those days, we all did. But she needed more help than she was getting, that’s for sure.
She was just another victim of the family curse of ruin, as far as I’m concerned. Nothing to be done. Can only be endured. Hopefully outrun for long enough to at least enjoy some of your life.
I thought I was more over her death than I clearly am.
Or maybe my foul mood now is just the direct result of not being able to give Gianna what she asked for. I would. If I thought her old man would give me his best if he had her back. But I don’t.
Codelli is a sly bastard. Quick to lie if it serves him. Quick to double cross you when it suits him. And I’m sure he’s still got connections we know nothing about. Even out here in California. People who could help him and his family go into hiding.
I’m not losing Goldie in that kind of stupid way.
She’ll be free of me soon enough thanks to the curse anyway.
And the fact that the curse likes to take much-loved women in my family didn’t make my mood any better. My mother was just one of them. There was also my great-grandmother. Several mistresses. My sister that I never knew because she was born and died before me.
Good thing none of the guys I passed tried to speak to me, because I’d probably bite their head off, making this alliance of men who’ve come here to help me even more strained and brittle.
I need to motivate them, become the leader they’ll want to follow.
Instead, I’m just postponing things and thinking of Gianna.
It needs to stop.
And since it has to be done and I’ve put it off long enough, I head to the stables which is where I put Rafaelle Santi, the Codellis’ former head of security.
I’ve personally locked him into a room there and haven’t let anyone but Caputo near him.
We’d killed many of his friends and family during Ferro’s bloody rise to power.
Too many for him to ever forgive. I don’t want to kill the guy.
But I also think keeping him alive could prove too dangerous.
My horse Stella lived and died in this stable.
It’s been empty ever since my brother’s horse also went, but the place still smells of horses, hay, and leather.
The saddles and bridles are still hanging off the pegs on the walls and I still get a familiar jolt of excitement as I near Stella’s stall.
I loved that horse, loved riding her, loved grooming her, loved feeding her.
She was like freedom on four legs. And I never felt anything like I’d felt while galloping her through the desert.
No matter how fast I drive. No matter how fast and powerful the car I’m driving is.
Rafaelle is on the top floor in one of the storage rooms. He’s made a cot for himself out of some horse blankets and is sitting on it as I enter, glaring at me and that look in his eyes cuts worse than any knife.
Which is why I don’t think it’s a good idea to arm him while I’m nearby.
But I also don’t want to let him go and have him come for me in the night.
“What is the point of keeping me locked up in basements and now stables?” he says. “I’ll never join you and I’ll never forget what you did.”
“Or forgive, gotcha,” I say and sit on a rickety old stool with my back to the door.
Our stable master Luigi would sit on this stool, while mending saddles and harnesses and such.
And I’d sit on the floor next to him and listen to his stories.
I’d completely forgotten about that until this very moment. He also died in this stable.
“Or forgive you, that’s right,” he says. “So no use keeping me alive.”
“Been doing it since the start, and I see no reason to stop just yet.”
The look he gives me is comical in its confusion.
“You stabbed me in the stomach. And dragged me out of that house so Ferro’s men could beat on me.”
“That’s all true,” I say. “But I also told you to get the Codellis to safety and didn’t stab you deep enough to kill you.”
I can see in his eyes that he knows that very well. After a few moments of glaring at me, he nods.
“It did appear that you weren’t trying to kill me, yes,” he says. “But nothing you’ve done since has confirmed that suspicion.”
“The wheels were in motion, I couldn’t stop them,” I say, wondering if I ever truly wanted to. My only aim was to shelter Gianna from the worst of it. I only half succeeded in that.
“Tell me, did you know you’d be betraying us since that night you weaseled yourself into our employ?”
The expression on his face is plainly telling me he is certain that I did.
“No. I saved Gianna that night because she was in danger. I had no idea who she was, or who Ferro was at the time. Much less what his plans were.”
“But you sure jumped right on board when you did find out, didn’t you?” he says. “I told the boss not to trust you. Not with something as important as the security of his daughters. But he had too much guilt over not doing more for your family. Misplaced guilt.”
“He should’ve done more for my family,” I say. “But he’s making up for that now. And you have a choice. Assist him or end up in the desert with a bullet in the back of your head.”
I’m so sick of hearing how old man Codelli feels guilty for not doing more for my family.
The damn war lasted for years. He had plenty of chances to step in and stop it before it was too late.
Clearly the guilt is only something that came later.
When he was face to face with me. Or now that he’s at my mercy.
Rafaelle chortles. “You want me to help you?”
“I’m giving you the chance to help yourself,” I say and stand up. “The Codellis are all here in LA—”
“Except for Chiara,” he interrupts. “She’s married to that bloodthirsty lunatic who thinks he can run New York on his own.”
“Except Chiara, that’s right. But she’s more than capable of handling Ferro,” I say. “Lidia is here though.”
His eyes soften just a little at hearing the younger twin’s name. There are definitely some feelings there, just like I suspected.
“Contrary to what you so very much want to believe, I do not want to destroy the Codelli family. I want to help them. And I’m sure you do too. So make your choice. Are you gonna die on principle or stand by the old man for what comes next? I’ll give you until dawn to decide.”
I’m not expecting him to give me an answer right away, so I turn to leave.
“How do I know anything you’re telling me is true?” he asks as I open the door.
“You don’t. But the Codellis are here to help me get my own back. It will be dangerous. It will be bloody, and I could use a fighter like you on my side.”
He falls silent again, thoughts warring on his face, causing as much carnage as I plan to against Moretti, it seems.
“Sleep on it,” I say and exit the room, locking the door behind me.
If I don’t get a positive answer from him in the morning, I’ll take him to the desert myself and get rid of him. Not something I’m looking forward to, but it has to be done.
And that’s where I am now. In the place where things have to be done even if they’re not the things you want to do.
“Rovina!” he hollers after me, his voice echoing in the empty stables. “I’ll do it.”
I turn and walk back to his door and unlock it. “Good. Come with me. You need a shower and new clothes.”
He just gapes at me as I hold open the door for him, like he can’t believe I’m just gonna let him walk out of here. But he’s not going to murder me. Not tonight. Maybe ruin will use him as its soldier once everything is over, and the war is won.
“Hurry up, there’s a meeting at six.”
This time he rises and leaves the room.
Once we’re outside, he turns to me. “You’re a weird one, Rovina, I’ll give you that. You know I can kill you with my bare hands as well as with any knife or gun. And you’re here alone with me.”
I smile and walk past him, turning my back on him. “You won’t kill me. I’ve saved your life twice over now.”
I keep on walking and it’s a few moments before he jogs up to join me.
“How do you figure twice?” he asks.
“It’s closer to three times, actually,” I say. “That night when I stabbed you, then when I brought you from New York and just now, when I gave you the choice to live and help me rather than become vulture food in the desert. And I think something like that means something to a guy like you.”
His face is telling me that yes, indeed it does.
But he doesn’t confirm it. He just walks beside me in silence.
And that’s fine with me. I didn’t want to kill the guy.
Not because I like him particularly, but because he was a big part of the Codellis’ lives.
And the fewer things I do to hurt them now, the bigger my chances of them forgiving me one day.
Though the hope of that ever happening is probably a delusion.
As is the hope that I’ll live to see life past getting my revenge on Dante Moretti.
But, as they say, hope dies last.