44. Chapter 44
CHAPTER 44
Rawn
T he echo of Aerina’s voice brought Rawn back to consciousness. He blearily blinked up at the wooden ceiling, not sure if he was still dreaming. The throb of pain in his body settled that question. The cloudy sky past the bars of the carriage cell was dark and dreary. He was slumped awkwardly against the wall and his vision struggled to clear as the cell rocked over the uneven earth. The emptiness in his stomach made him feel nauseous. To feel that meant he was alive.
“I thought you’d never wake.”
Rawn turned his head limply and spotted another sitting across from him, with his hands bound in chains. “Elon?”
The red elf narrowed his amber eyes. “I should have killed you in Little Step.”
Rawn looked over the bruises on Elon’s face and dried blood on his torn clothes. “You were apprehended …”
Elon’s magic had not been enough to fight his way out of Argent. It was clear he was a powerful soldier, but so were the elves of Red Highland. He could not fight against so many.
The air smelled of mud and incoming rain. The clomp of horses, distant voices, and the creaky wheels of the carriage cell was a steady hum in Rawn’s ears. Two soldiers on horses guarded the rear. Their snarling Bloodhounds watched them closely with eerie yellow eyes.
“How long have I been unconscious?” Rawn asked faintly under his breath.
“Four days.” The elf regarded him indifferently. “Death nearly came for you.”
He had been ready for it to take him. It nearly did when Fair died.
The reminder of his horse being struck down made Rawn’s chest ache. Struggling to sit up and winced at the pressure on his leg. It had bandaged with a poultice of Elvish herbs. As well as the other wounds on his chest where he had been shot. The fabric used for his bandages matched Elon’s tunic.
“You treated my wounds.” He blinked at him. “Why?”
Elon made clear his only priority was his family.
“Anon needs you alive.” Elon tossed him a waterskin. Beneath the slosh of water, he added so quietly Rawn barely heard him, “So do I. We are escaping the next chance we get.”
That shook Rawn to full alertness.
When he had been captured, there had been no hope of escaping, but there was now that he wasn’t alone. Rawn looked out at the grassland they were traveling through. Twilight had come, obscuring the land, but he knew they were headed west.
He took a drink, and the cool water soothed his dry throat. “How far are we into Ledoga?”
“Midway. A day or two from Naiads Mere.” Elon’s amber eyes looked back at him knowingly and a stretch of quiet fell between them.
“You know of the waterways…”
Naiads Mere was a kingdom in of itself, and it had many underground caves with waterways that flowed southeast, most crossing into his homeland. But it was supposed to be a Greenwood secret, and Rawn didn’t know how he felt about a red elf with that knowledge. Or how he came about it.
“Sylar,” he realized. That must have been how they had escaped Red Highland. The waterways were dangerous, and it would take two to navigate them.
Elon looked away to the nearly full moon rising in the sky. “Do we have an understanding, Lord Norrlen?”
“A plan, you mean.” Rawn’s chains jostled as he moved closer to the bars.
Just past evening’s veil, he could distinguish the silhouette of the Anduir Mountains. He pictured the day he left Sellav, and Aerina watching him go with their boy in her arms.
They could reach the waters of Naiads Mere he would make it home.
Twenty-Five Years Ago
Once Rawn had brought Aerina to safety, he had spent five days perusing Anon’s trail across Greenwood. He refused to stop.
In the hills of Lothia, Rawn found Nisa’s body.
They mutilated and defiled his sister nearly beyond recognition. Her nude body had been drained of blood. The letters of Anon’s name were carved into her flesh. Her cheek had been flayed open, removing the tattoo she once bore proudly.
And they took her eyes.
Rawn dropped to his knees and filled the hills with his ragged screams. He screamed until he couldn’t.
Then he hunted.
He didn’t sleep. He didn’t eat.
Rawn hunted down every Sentry Enforcer he could find before they ever reached East Wall.
Each one suffered the pain his sister had suffered threefold.
So much he felt as if their blood seep in his pores. It coated his armor and soaked his cloak. To the point, his people called him Isemrac Arabmos .
The Red Shade.
But for all his efforts, Anon had slipped through his fingers. And he never found Sylar. Perhaps it was a blessing not to see what they had done to him.
“You have honored your kingdom,” King Leif said. “Now I will bestow an honor you. Whatever position you wish to have here in the castle or in my army is yours.”
Rawn didn’t look up from where he kneeled at the steps of the dais. He felt Aerina’s eyes on him, but he stared blankly at the runner.
Honor?
Whatever shred of honor he had was lost during his rampage of vengeance. He was filthy. Rawn felt it in his soul. He was not worthy of any honor.
He had utterly failed.
The distant chimes of bells came from outside, where all of Greenwood feasted and reveled, celebrating their victory over Red Highland. All the while, his sister rotted. What kind of victory was this?
“The king awaits your answer,” his father said.
Even the sharp edge was missing from his voice. Shadows lined the General’s face. The only signs of any grief he felt for his lost daughter. Eldred had taken a leave of absence to mourn his son.
“I ask for nothing, sire…” Rawn murmured.
“You have completed your mission and now any position you wish for is yours. Be it a knight or a position among my Rangers as my Red Shade. Whatever you desire will be yours.”
He had no more desires.
Frowning at his silence, King Leif rose from his throne and came down the steps of the dais. “Well, by all means, take some time to think on it. You have been through a trying time, soldier. Greenwood’s princess is alive and well, thanks to your efforts. We are celebrating your great deeds tonight. Go and enjoy yourself.”
Rawn bowed as the king and his father headed for a side door, followed by his Royal Guards.
“Are preparations underway?” Leif asked one of his attendants.
“Yes, sire. Lord Karheim has chosen a spring date for the wedding. That is enough time to…” Their voices faded as they went into the hall, leaving him alone.
Or so he thought until a small pair of slippered feet came to a stop in front of him.
“Rawn…”
His weary eyes closed at the sound of Aerina’s soft voice. Her scent of dynalya petals stirred around him. Rawn stood, but he did not lift his gaze.
“I … I had a chest made for Nisa and Lowenna ... for their ashes.” Aerina handed him a polished box made of fine wood. It shone under the chandelier lights. It was gilded in gold, exquisitely carved with a horse galloping in a field of flowers. “They rest together now.”
The emotion in her voice made his throat clamp and his vision sting. He accepted the small chest.
“I am sorry Nisa’s life was cut short. It wasn’t fair.”
It was the first lament that sounded genuine.
Not sorry for your loss, or she was in a better place. But sorry that she did not live the life she was meant to.
Silence filled the throne room again as he waited to be dismissed, but she was not finished.
“Rawn…”
“Have you told him?” he asked flatly.
She fell silent.
Rawn shut his eyes tight and the back of his eyes stung.. “Have you … seen a healer?”
She had told him in Galadir that Anon had placed a spell on her. One examination would confirm if she had been cursed as well.
“I have,” Aerina admitted quietly. In as little as two words, it fully struck him with the magnitude of his failure. “Rawn, will you look at me?”
He had to swallow a few times before he could reply. “I cannot.”
“Why?”
“Allowing myself such an indulgence is what led to me now carrying my sister’s ashes in a box, Princess.”
Rawn’s reply had come out sharper than he intended. It was not Aerina he was angry with, but with himself. He let his guard down that night. If he had been alert on his mission instead of behaving like a infatuated fool, Nisa might still be alive.
“You are not to blame, Rawn.”
He clenched his teeth. “Please, I cannot bear that lie from you also. We both know it was.”
“Merely because we enjoyed a night for ourselves? Prince Anon was already lying wait for me. They were hidden in the woods. Whether they caught me when I-I had to—” She stuttered. “Relieve myself—or if they ambushed us on the road, the confrontation was inevitable.”
“You were alone because I was not on duty as I should have been.”
Her voice grew pained. “Then if you wish to blame someone, blame me. I didn’t wake anyone to accompany me, and it led to my abduction?—”
“No.” He would not let her take that from him.
“Rawn.” Aerina took his arm. “Please look at me.”
He inhaled sharply at the touch of her hand and stepped back.
“Why?” she asked desperately.
Because he loved her.
Because it was wrong.
Because he needed to let go.
“Do you know … I have watched you as often as you have watched me?” Aerina whispered.
Rawn stilled.
“You were a secret in my heart. I never dared to speak it aloud, knowing it could never be, but Nisa saw right through me.” She weakly laughed. It was a breathy sound, fighting back the choke of tears. He felt them burning behind his eyes at the sting gathering in his throat. Her confession left him astonished. To think this whole time, she had felt the same. “The night we danced was the first night I was not a Princess of Greenwood. I was only Aerina. But I am called back to my gilded cage. I am to marry soon and secure my brother’s position. I will do my duty and leave my home … if there is nothing for me here.”
Rawn lifted his head and met her wet blue eyes. Aerina looked beautiful in a cream gown, her blonde hair woven up and adorned with gold circlet and emerald gems.
Hope swam in her gaze as she searched his blank face, that was carefully washed away of any emotion. She took a step forward. “Rawn?—”
He stepped back and fixed his gaze on a point past her shoulder. “It was only a dance, Princess.”
“You don’t mean that…”
Swallowing, he said, “There is nothing I can offer you but my undying fealty. I wish you every happiness in your marriage with Lord Karheim.”
Rawn’s answer sliced through the threads of his heart. It rebuked him when delicate tears spilled down Aerina’s cheeks.
He didn’t move as she fled the throne room, leaving him with the weight of his remorse.