68. Pallas
Iwoke slowly, my body and mind trapped in thick sludge that held me in unconsciousness. The room, the dungeon cell, slowly came into focus. Light from a few torches bounced off the stone walls as the squalor of long-forgotten prisoners assaulted my nose. That woke me more than anything else. I sat up, my hand instinctively going to my neck, where the metal of my collar sat ice cold despite my skin”s attempt to warm it. I tried to pry it off; my fingernails scraped my skin as I tried to wedge them underneath, but pain shot up the back of my neck to my skull, and I didn’t persist.
“It’s been sealed, you can’t get it off.” Luxos’ dark voice sounded from the corner of the cell, where he sat wrapped in shadows. I snarled at him.
Helet out a soft chuckle. “How ferocious you’ve become, but I like that in a woman.” He approached, his shadows slowly curling out to run over my skin before he reached for me. I tried to slap them away.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” Pain shot up through my skull again, and I gritted my teeth as tears welled in my eyes.
Hisshadows recoiled, and a frown flicked at the edges of his mouth. “You’re lucky I was there, Pallas. He would have killed you if I hadn’t stopped him.”
“Or maybe I would have killed him if you hadn’t stopped me.”
Hesaid nothing, his frown deepening.
“You look awful,” I observed.
Thedeep burn scar Tori had given him was visible on his neck, still a vivid purplish red that I knew still hurt; her dragonfire left a lasting mark. I eyed him up and down, but he still said nothing. When did I become the talkative one?
“You should have just let me die, ShadowWalker. I’d rather be dead than collared to him.” He owned me, but my mind was still my own, at least for the present. I wasn’t disobeying, so in truth, I felt fantastic. I knew that would all change quickly.
“Who said you were collared to him?”
Ibolted upright. I raised my hand to the metal that I had crafted. My hand drifted over the gem at its center. Magic rushed through my fingertips, but it didn’t feel like Hadeon. He always felt electric, the unnerving feeling of your hair standing on end just before the strike. Hot and erratic and loud. This magic was soft, dark, an endless void of shadows. Luxos had bonded the collar to him.
Hechuckled at my surprise. “You think I learned nothing from you over all these years?”
“Why?”
“I had to show you were controlled. That was the only way I could get you out alive. Don’t act dumb. It doesn’t suit you.”
“It’s not like you to put yourself at risk for someone else, Luxos. Perhaps you can understand my confusion.”
Suddenly, he was on his knees before me, his hands on my thighs. The touch was familiar, but the collar amplified it, sending shivers through my skin straight into my lower stomach. Pleasure, to reward my compliance.
“Pallas, I told you I would protect you, even from yourself! How can you still act as if you don’t know I would do anything for you?”
Westood still for a moment, my body growing warmer with his touch; the collar”s magic begged me to give in. It promised me everything I had ever wanted. Peace, gentleness, pleasure, and most of all, love. Love that so felt like that golden light Tori had once shown me. HowI had created such a perfect replication for the magic of this collar, I would never know. But that’s all it was, a replication, a glamour, a lie.
“Luxos, if you had really cared for me, you would have never touched me.”
Hisresponse was immediate. “AndI never did, not until you asked me.”
“No, you just used to drug me so I would forget.”
“No, I drugged you so you wouldn’t remember, so you wouldn”t tell HadeonI never touched you. He would have assumed that I just wanted someone else, which I didn’t. At least, on those nights, I could look after you. At least I knew that… no one else was hurting you.”
Mymind was racing. For decades, Hadeon had been sending me to Luxos, just as he had to so many of his other commanders and courtiers. I never remembered Luxos touching me, violating me. It had made it easier. I never dreaded those nights like I did the others. Sometimes, I even welcomed them and the void of being that came with the hot cup of tea he had always served me. I always assumed... but there was no lie in his voice, in his eyes.
“Why? Why did you hide the best part of yourself from me?”
“I’m not a good man, Pallas. Just one fighting to survive, just like you.”
“And yet you always stayed. It would have been so easy for you to leave, to disappear. Why didn’t you?”
Hisface turned ugly. “And done what? Be some petty lord’s general? I lead the shadow troops of the DivineEmperor. AnythingI have suffered has been worth the power I have. For someone like me to be this… I could have anything I wanted, except…”
Heclosed the space between us, his hand coming to rest on my jaw. I wanted to pull away, but the collar around my neck prevented it.
“Until that night. You took my hand, and you asked me. I could see you were trying to reclaim something, and I’ll admit, I’m not a strong man. To have the object of all my desire offer herself to me. I couldn’t resist.” A smug smile crossed his face. “Besides, I knew you weren’t faking how good I made you feel.”
“You could have freed me.”
Hisface fell. “LikeI said, I’m not a strong man. Nor a brave one. Can you blame me for not wanting to incite Hadeon’s wrath?”
“Yes, I can.” His eyes were deep pits, and he wouldn’t let me drop my gaze.
Heran his fingers over my lips. My body was torn in every direction. I tried to move away, and pain lanced from the center of my head down my spine, my collar willing me to obey his desire. It would be easy to give in. I helped make this collar. I knew what would happen. A deep, satisfying pleasure. The pleasure of submission, of surrender. A reward for a good little captive. I’d been with Luxos before. This wouldn’t be any different. He already knew my body, the sounds I made when he entered me. Why fight it now?
Avision of Avlyn’s strong arms wrapped around me as they whispered in my ear that everything would be alright filled my mind. You’re not broken, only caged. The words jolted my heart. No, I would fight. I had spent too long not fighting. I would not do that again. I shoved him off, even as it sent grating pain through me.
Hisjaw clenched, but then the ground under our feet roiled. I gripped the cot to stop myself from toppling over. Luxos stood quickly, drawing the sword from his side.
Avoice I would recognize anywhere spoke. “OPEN!”The wall around the cell door exploded, crumbling to the floor as the door flew off its hinges. As the dust settled, Jun stepped through. “Let her go.” His voice was rough, but his face was pure ice as he stared down Luxos.
Iheard him chuckle. “Looks like the little prince has come to play. Nice to see you out of bed, Jun.”
Myfists clenched, but then a smug smile, so like Tori’s, spread across Jun’s face. “Oh, I can do a lot more than play now, Commander.”
Isaw Luxos face pale as Jun opened his mouth, but then his eyes fell to my neck. His eyes went wide with fear. “No…”
“Your lot isn’t the only one with tricks, little prince. Pallas, come to me.” Pain shot through my head, and I stood, my legs wobbling as they tried to walk toward Luxos. I resisted, but a dark hand reached up from the corners of the room and pulled me to him. I saw a flash, and a dagger sat at my throat while Luxos’ other hand wrapped itself familiarly around my waist.
Ilooked at Jun’s pained face, and tears rose to my eyes. It’s alright.I wanted to reassure him, but my jaw was locked. I’m going to be alright. I was always such a liar.
Footstepssounded from the hallway, and Avlyn appeared beside Jun. The prince”s eyes were still locked on my neck, but the commander”s attention immediately went to where Luxos ran his thumb in a gentle pattern over my ribs.
“Looks like you could use a hand, CommanderAvlyn.” Their teeth flashed as they snarled at Luxos. “You’ve amassed yourself quite the set of admirers,” Luxos whispered in my ear.
“Release her, or there will be a world of pain waiting for you,” Avlyn growled.
“Oh, I haven’t feared something as dull as pain in a long time.” Luxos’ grip on me tightened.
Morefootsteps crunched across the broken hallway, and Tori charged in, green flames dancing across her body. “I’m sure I could come up with something that will excite you, Luxos.”
Therethey stood, ready to fight for me. They had all come for me. But all Luxos had to do was step into those shadows, and we would be gone. I felt him stiffen, and I tried to look each of them in the eyes. I’ll be alright.
Shadowscurled around us, and Avlyn’s body tensed as they made to bolt across the room. The shadows jumped up, holding them back.
Luxosleaned down so that his warm breath danced across my ear. “You said you never had a choice, Pallas. It was all out of your control. So here is your choice. Come with me. We’ll be free like you always wanted. No more empires, no more kings, just you and me. Or stay with this rabble as this place comes crumbling down.”
Ilooked deep into Jun’s eyes, into Avlyn’s. I’d been so afraid for so long, and here it was, my escape. The weight of the collar shifted around my neck as Luxos pressed the knife into my skin, threatening Avlyn as they tried to throw off his shadows.
No, he didn’t offer me freedom but another comfortable cage; outside of the cage was dangerous, and I might not survive it. I would suffer, both my body and my heart. I would let that freedom destroy me if that’s what was destined. I would pay the price.
“Let me go, Luxos.” I expected the collar to hold me, to punish me for those words. Nothing came. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest when he let out one more sigh.
“It seems our time together has drawn to a close. I may not have done it right, but I cared for you, Pallas, ever since I first laid eyes on you.”
Ifelt the click of metal, and there was a great relief of weight on my neck. The collar fell away, and I felt him place something cold and wrong in my hand. He shoved me forward, so I fell into Avlyn’s arms.
Ispun to see him one last time as he faded into his shadows. “Maybe in another life, Pallas.” And then he stepped into the darkness and was gone.
“Are you alright?” I looked up into Avlyn’s eyes, so filled with concern that my heart fluttered.
“Yes.” It wasn’t a lie. I looked at my hand and a red gem the size of a peach pit glimmered in the torchlight.
“Oh, shit.” Tori slowly removed the gem and held it up. The light caught on the shadows that swirled deep inside. She looked over to where Luxos had disappeared. “Like calls to like.” She shivered. “I can feel it muting my magic, but…” Her smile was all teeth. “It looks like the good commander helped us find two things we needed tonight.”
Butthen Tori clamped a hand over her heart, and the gem clattered to the floor. I scrambled to grab it, and when I looked back up, she was deadly white as she panted, “We need to hurry.”