Chapter 13 #2
“I wish you hadn’t been hit by a car,” he said. “But… I don’t know. This is going to sound insane, but if both of those things had to happen, I’m… it’s nice that it meant I got to meet you. Sorry, that sounded even more insane when I said it out loud.”
I couldn’t stop myself laughing. This wasn’t the kind of conversation I’d expected to have on my first ever date, but it felt right. Cooper got me. He’d lost something, too. Something that meant the world to him.
“Trauma and tragedy aside,” I said. “I’m glad I met you, too. And Benji. And I’m glad I came here and got the best ice cream I’ve ever had in my life.”
“And you can have almond milk in your coffee now.”
“And I can have almond milk in my coffee now,” I agreed, a wry smile tugging at my lips. “Guess that’s what they call the silver lining.”
“It’s something to grab hold of so you can keep going,” Cooper said. “I think what I mean to say is that when you lose something, it also kind of sets you free?”
I tilted my head back to look up at him, all boy-next-door charm in a package I was beginning to see had to be oversized to fit all the heart inside. The light of the moon hanging overhead caught the edge of his profile. Silver lining.
Ice cream dripped down my cone and onto my hand, forcing me to lick it off. I had more than I could have asked for right now. Dessert and company-wise.
It was something to grab hold of.
“Are you free to come home with me?”
Cooper ducked his head, one of his gorgeous shy smiles spreading across his face. If I touched his ears now, I knew they’d be warm.
He was adorable. And I definitely wanted to get my hands around him again.
“I am.”
I didn’t waste any time getting both of my hands on Cooper’s bare skin once we were behind closed doors, crowding him up against the wall at the foot of the stairs and shoving both hands under his sweater as I surged forward to kiss him.
He hissed at my cold fingers splaying over the sensitive skin of his stomach, but he didn’t try to stop me.
“Eager,” he murmured against my mouth, laughter in his voice.
“Do you have any idea how hot you are?” I asked, curling my hands around his sides, squeezing to feel the give of a layer of padding over his rock-solid core.
He was the first man I’d ever touched who’d been built like this, and the more I touched him, the surer I was I’d been missing out my entire life.
Cooper laughed, because no, he didn’t have any idea how hot he was. That much was obvious from the way he moved through the world, as though he thought he was taking up too much space.
I was going to show him different.
I kissed him again, ignoring the way my thigh twinged at the length of time I’d had to stand on tiptoes to do it. Pain was only pain. I’d been through plenty of it before now. Cooper was more than worth it.
Cooper melted under my touch, making happy sounds as my hands roamed, warming up now that they were between his sweater and his body.
I’d seen him naked once already, all golden skin and dark hair, strong and solid and so fucking hot I was in danger of getting a nosebleed just thinking about it—and I wanted to see him again.
This time in the light of the too-dim lamp beside my bed, looming over me, about to make all my filthiest dreams come true.
In the grand scheme of things they weren’t all that filthy, but I knew what I wanted. I’d already set out the supplies. I was willing to beg, if I had to.
“Upstairs,” I murmured into his mouth, giddy with anticipation at the thought of having him all to myself tonight.
A sound I could only honestly describe as a squeak escaped me as Cooper lifted me clear off the ground. Fuck, it was hot when he did that. I grabbed hold of him, wrapping my legs around his waist and gripping both shoulders as he bounded up the stairs like I weighed nothing at all.
“Sorry,” he said halfway up. The laughter in his voice made me doubt his sincerity.
“I’m starting to think you get off on picking me up,” I said, squeezing my thighs around his waist. The bad one twinged, muscles protesting how much I’d put them through today, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
“Maybe I do,” Cooper responded as we reached the top of the stairs.
“Bedroom,” I demanded, jerking my head toward it. He’d seen it last time, but the reminder couldn’t hurt.
“Bossy.” Cooper grinned up at me, striding toward the bedroom.
“You love it.”
“I do,” he rumbled, the tips of his ears darkening. Oh, he did love it. I hadn’t done as much with that thought as I would’ve liked last time—maybe things would be a little different this time.
Cooper set me down on the edge of the bed and dropped to his knees in front of me, sending a surprise jolt of arousal straight to my core. I’d never seen anyone on their knees for me.
I stared at him for a heartbeat, then another, before he broke into a smile so broad it made the corners of his eyes crinkle.
I surged forward, threading my fingers into his curls and catching his mouth in a hard, biting, demanding kiss. If Cooper liked it when I was bossy, I could be bossy.
Probably.
Practice wouldn’t hurt.
“Want you to fuck me,” I said, stomach bottoming out as soon as the words were hanging between us. I didn’t know how to ask for things, and I wasn’t sure how he’d react.
Cooper swallowed, going still. I pulled back just far enough to look him in the eyes, uncertainty curling around my insides until the look on his face registered.
He wanted that, too.
Then his gaze darted to my injured leg. My heart sank.
I took a breath to say something—to tell him it’d be fine, not to worry about it, I’d be fine, I was fine, I could still do this, it didn’t matter, I was still—
Cooper’s hand on my knee stopped me.
“I’m not gonna insult you by asking if you’re sure,” he said. “I just don’t wanna hurt you.”
I looked down at his hand. It was resting on my injured leg—he definitely knew which one it was. I’d tried to distract him from the ugly surgical scar that ran up almost half the length of it, but I knew he’d seen it and I knew he’d seen me favoring it.
Then I looked at his face. His open, earnest face that never looked at me with judgement or disgust. Cooper didn’t wrinkle his nose at me, or twist his lip, or roll his eyes, or scoff, or huff. When he looked at me, he looked like he was thrilled to be doing it.
Even now.
“You’re so fucking perfect,” I blurted out, unable to stop myself voicing the thought as it came to me.
Cooper’s brows rose. God, he was so perfect he was surprised by being called perfect. What a man.
I bent forward to kiss him. Not one of the desperate, biting kisses from earlier, not a fuck-me-now kiss.
Gentler, our noses brushing together as I pressed my mouth to his, lips soft, fingers threaded into his hair.
I lingered, warmth spreading from my lips all the way down to the tips of my toes, making them curl.
By the time I had to pull back to breathe, I was even more sure I needed Cooper tonight. That I had to be with him.
“I don’t think there’s a way to do this without hurting me,” I said, rubbing the tip of my nose against his.
I loved his nose, straight and pronounced enough to verge on Roman without quite getting there.
I wanted to feel it pressed to my skin, nuzzling me everywhere like he’d nuzzled my head earlier.
“But,” I continued, “I think there’s a way to do it where I accept that, and you trust me to tell you if it’s too much. I’d like to do it that way. Assuming you want—”
“Oh, I want,” Cooper said, pulling back to look me in the eyes. His were dark, pupils blown, and in the light of the bedside lamp I could see a flush to his cheeks that hadn’t been there before.
I wanted to kiss him again.
I let that thought hang for a heartbeat, and then realized I could. He wouldn’t stop me. He liked it.
This kiss was a little more on the demanding side. A hint of teeth scraping over his bottom lip, my fingers squeezing the back of his neck. A reminder that, the unsexy subject of my injury aside, I was still horny and I expected him to be, too.
“I want,” Cooper confirmed, breathless, when I let him have enough space to speak.
A smile tugged at my lips. “Come up here,” I said, shuffling back on the bed, beckoning him to follow me.
I led him right up to the headboard, letting him follow as I stretched myself out along the length of the bed, holding his gaze the entire time.
His eyes glinted as he watched me, like he couldn’t decide where to look.
The hunger in them made my skin prickle, warmth spreading wherever he glanced, trickling south.
This was different from last time. Last time had been desperate, needy. Greedy hands and panting breaths, the two of us in a rush.
This time, it was something heavier. More intense. This time, I didn’t want to rush. I wanted to take my time with Cooper. I wanted him to take me apart, piece by piece, with his callused, gentle, clever mechanic’s hands. I wanted to feel his weight on top of me, slow and deliberate.
I want you to make love to me, I didn’t say aloud, even as I stared up into his big, earnest brown eyes while the thought crossed my mind.
Instead, I reached out to him, curling a hand around the back of his neck to pull him down for another kiss. He chuckled as he gave in, moving at my lightest touch. Letting me have whatever I wanted.
He was going to ruin me for all other men if he kept this up.
I was going to let him.
I got my free hand under his sweater again, hitching it up as I kissed him, pushing up until I could brush my thumb over one of his nipples and make him gasp into my mouth. I smirked against his lips, circling until it peaked, feeling ripples of tension run through him.
“Off,” I said, tugging on the sweater before letting him go. “Show me what I’m getting myself into.”