21. Definition of MINE
TWENTY-ONE
DEFINITION OF MINE
Alessio
My nephew’s governess is in my bed.
In. My. Bed.
How did we get here?
Barefoot, she stood near broken glass, and that beast inside me that I keep caged broke out. I couldn’t restrain myself. I threw her over my shoulder like some caveman and spanked her on the way here as punishment for being so careless about herself.
Did I overreact?
Yes. Yet, I couldn’t help it. She stirs parts of me that only people I consider mine can evoke. Unless you’re mine, you’re not my responsibility. If you’re not one of the four people who are mine, you’re responsible for your own safety, security, and well-being.
But if you’re mine, you’re MINE. I take care of everyone I consider MINE, but it comes at the cost of their freedom. This is why I don’t date, why I avoid attachments. No woman wants to be MINE. They want to be mine.
There’s a difference.
I possess the woman who is MINE.
I own her heart, soul, and body. I consume her every waking moment. My initial is tattooed on her left breast so even when she’s nursing my baby and looking down on our baby’s cute face, she who is MINE knows that she belongs to me.
When I fuck the woman who is MINE, she submits completely. I do not switch , and I never will. But most importantly, she won’t want me to, because a man who begs on his knees for scraps of her attention will turn her off.
My match doesn’t seek a groveling beggar. She seeks a champion, a man who will take care of all her needs and, if need be, give up his life for hers. Me and MINE would be a yin and yang, a completion, an all-consuming love. An absolute and mutual obsession. I want nothing that I’m not willing to give.
Since I’m turning forty this year, I’m old enough to understand all that about myself. I’m also old enough to understand I’ll remain single for the rest of my life because I won’t compromise the needs I have for an all-consuming love.
Lake Wilder wants nothing do with such a man, which is why we had a one-night stand, and not a two-night stand or another version of our relationship. And we most certainly shouldn’t be stuck under the same roof. My roof. Where I would consider her MINE.
“Fuck me,” I mumble.
“We can’t,” she replies while sitting up in my bed. She eats the pizza with her fingers instead of a fork and a knife. Normally, I would lecture a person on proper etiquette, but I won’t lecture Lake. I’m making an exception.
Making exceptions for her is a very bad sign. I should throw her out. I should. But I won’t.
I hover over the bed, hands on my hips, waiting for her to finish the meal. It’s nearly midnight, I know what I want to do with her, and it’s definitely not chat over pizza.
“I wasn’t suggesting we have sex.” I’ll make my move when she’s done eating. After all, I’m a gentleman.
“What are you thinking?” she asks, then coughs, choking on a bite she most likely inhaled.
I rush to the mini fridge and grab a bottle of water, handing it to her quickly before she dies in my bed.
Once she’s breathing normally again, I say, “It’s almost midnight. We’re going to sleep.”
She puts the tray on the nightstand and swings her feet over the mattress as if she’s going somewhere.
“Don’t make me restrain you,” I warn. After I watched her almost choke on a meal, we’re done with accidents for the night. DONE.
She giggles. “Alessio, I can’t sleep with you.”
“Sure you can.”
“I can’t.”
She’ll never let me consume her the way I need to. I shrug off my shirt. “You can, Lake. But you don’t want to, in which case, take one of the guest rooms.” There. The beast walks back into his cage. I lock it and pocket the key. Crisis averted. “There’s a spare bedroom next to Leo’s.”
Since I wore my pajama bottoms, I slide under the covers and lean on my right elbow so I can watch her finish her meal. I’ve also never had a woman in my bed, and the novelty of it pleases me. Lake’s overall appearance pleases me too.
The chestnut curls of her hair frame a delicate face with a straight nose and pouty lips. There’s calmness and grace about her that soothes me in ways I can’t explain. Long, curled lashes hide her eyes as Lake watches her plate while eating. When she looks up, the warmth in her gaze feels like sunlight in the room.
Lake offers me the last bite of her pizza. I shake my head, and she eats it.
“Do you want to read something before you sleep?” I ask.
She frowns. “Should I?”
“Do you not read before bed?” I ask.
“Sometimes. But I like holding paperbacks, and I don’t have any books.”
“What kind of books do you read?”
She swallows. “Romance. I only read romance.”
“Val has paperbacks in her bedroom. You’re welcome to them.”
“Cool. Cool.” Lake wipes her mouth with a tissue, then wrings her hands in her lap.
“Alessio, I want to ask you something.”
“Ask.”
She smiles. This woman is so pretty. I just like watching her. I like watching her in my bed even more. Surprise, surprise.
“I want to call my uncle.”
“Certainly. Your phone arrives tomorrow.”
Her eyes light up. “Really?”
I nod. Her phone arrives along with her passport so she and Leo can travel with me on business trips. With Val gone, I have no choice but to take Leo and his governess with me.
“Please deduct the cost of the phone from my paycheck.”
“Nonsense. It’s a business expense.”
“Please.”
“No.”
She scrunches up her nose. “That sounded like a whip sliced the air.”
I shrug. “I’m fond of whips.”
She clears her throat. “Thank you for comping the lunch over at the Easy. And for bringing me dinner.” Lake side-eyes me and presses her lips together as if suppressing laughter. “And for saving me from walking over the glass.”
“Very funny.” But also, I provided her with water so she won’t choke. Not that it matters, but if we’re compiling a list of my daily heroics, it should be on there. Lake doesn’t care about perfecting her list or making sure all the pieces are in place the way I do.
She scoots toward me as if to kiss me (probably on the cheek), and the moment she makes that move, I slide her under me.
“Oh my God,” she says, wide-eyed. “We can’t.”
“Since you insist on using can and cannot instead of will or won’t , here’s the thing. I can spend the night with you. You can’t expect me to sleep next to you while I want to fuck you. Can’t expect that, Lake. But you can make a choice and refuse me. I advise you not to because you’ll sleep like a baby once I’m done with you.” And so will I.
I know I’ll sleep well with her in my bed the same way I know my third-grade teacher committed suicide the day after receiving a letter from my dad. They were lovers, and he told her it was over. She jumped instead of getting an abortion.
They called her death an accident. Not suicide. But I know the truth because I read my dad’s letter before giving it to her. I was nine years old.
I appreciate the struggle I see in Lake’s pained expression, but I’m puzzled as to why she’s fighting me so much. We’ve already spent a night together. We’re more than compatible, and not just in bed. As far as a relationship between us as a man and a woman goes, we get along really well. She pokes fun at my difficult character, and it makes me laugh with her.
Put plainly, most people annoy me, and Lake doesn’t. I like spending time with her.
Perhaps the novelty of her excites me. If so, it’ll wear off, but while she’s here, I’m going to enjoy every moment of our time together.
“I want to. But I can’t.” Her pained expression makes me curious. Did I misread her feminine cues? The giggling, the blushing. Unlikely. I’m socially unapproachable, not stupid. I read cues very well. She told me she wanted to kiss me, for God’s sake.
“Is it because I spanked you?” I took liberties with her ass. I bit her and marked her with a hickey too.
She smiles. “You know I don’t mind that.”
“What’s the problem, then?”
“I’m Leo’s governess.”
“I’m his uncle. Again, what is the problem?”
“It’s not appropriate for us to have a relationship while I teach Leo.”
“That’s fine. I’ll fire you.”
Pure horror comes over her, and she pales visibly.
I peck her nose. “I’m kidding.”
“Don’t joke about my job.”
I nod. “Tell me why you think us having sex is inappropriate?”
“Your house is my workplace.”
“Where your rich boss wants to fuck you,” I add.
Under me, Lake laughs, which pushes her soft breasts against my hard chest. I take the opportunity to wedge myself between her legs.
When she feels my erection, her eyes roll back. “Alessio, please.”
“Begging me will do the opposite of what you want. Tell me no. Tell me straight up. Don’t beg unless you want me inside you. Are you telling me no?”
Lake groans and lifts her hips, but I’m unsure if her body’s simply reacting to mine.
“I’m going to bite your pussy, Lake. I’ll bite it, and then I’ll fuck you into this mattress. Decide how your night is going to go. Five, four, three, two?—”
“I can’t.”
I fist my hands and lock gazes with her. “I don’t want to hear I can’t . It is inaccurate and a cop-out. The words you want to use are I won’t . Say them.”
“I won’t.”
“That a girl.” I push off the bed. “Let’s go. I’ll tuck you in.”