48. I upgrade to stalking her
FORTY-EIGHT
I UPGRADE TO STALKING HER
Alessio
My legs barely fit in the space allotted to the drivers of this rental car, but I can’t very well stalk Lake in a luxury custom-made vehicle, can I? No.
The lack of movement in the cramped car serves as a stark reminder of why I hire others for stakeouts, but I can’t hire other men to stalk the object of my obsession. Except maybe Miro, but that would be a misuse of his talent.
However, Miro is a much better stalker than I am, and Lake’s tendency to check her surroundings as soon as she steps out of the diner at night or a grocery store in the middle of the day makes it more difficult for me to remain incognito. But I have to say, I’m pleased that she’s looking after herself this way.
I check my watch. It’s ten at night, when she normally leaves the diner. She’s been coming here every night at seven sharp since her last police interview. She orders decaf at first and then two vanilla ice cream sundaes. The first day she ordered two, I started to plan the murder of whichever person she was sharing the ice cream with, but it turns out, Lake eats both by herself.
I wish I’d known she liked ice cream that much. I would have asked Rosalba to stock Lake’s favorite brand. But alas, water under the bridge, as they say in this part of the world.
Lake pays and exits the diner, and I follow her home.
As I watch the garage doors close behind her silver truck, I’m tempted to break my silence because the nights she cries herself to sleep are the worst.
Yet, I’m licking my wounds the best I know how, and I’ll be damned if I put myself though the pain she can inflict again. Unless she assures me with one hundred and ten percent certainty that she wants me the way I want her.
I need her. In my bed, in my life, in the space I can retreat and just be myself. Lake must become my wife. Any other form of relationship between us is unacceptable. Lake and I can never just be friends.
* * *
The next day, Lake remains at home.
She stays home the day after and the day after that.
No diner, no grocery store.
A few days later, I follow her to the local college, where she is starting a job.
She’s done with me.
I need to move on.