Eliza #2
I exhaled before saying, “It was like the things he liked about me at the beginning—what he told me got him to come over—he started to dislike over time. I felt like he enjoyed the idea of me more than me. I also got the sense that he wanted me to change things. He never straight-out told me or made me do anything, but he’d make comments about some of the things I’d wear or ask about what I actually wanted my career to be or suggest I stop bartending.
He said he didn’t want to watch his girlfriend flirting with people, but I wasn’t.
I like flirting when I’m single.” It was almost like Colin was waiting to catch me in some sort of lie, but I’d never disrespected him or our relationship.
“We had the most fun together when we went out, but even then, I feel like he wanted the attention from other girls,” I continued. “He also wanted me to open up to him quickly, because he’d shared things with me right away, but I just wasn’t ready for that. I’m not someone who opens up right away.”
Jules reached for my hand, squeezing gently. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
I shrugged. “It wasn’t that bad. People have gone through way worse in relationships.”
“Doesn’t mean you have to minimize it,” Lily said, her eyes glistening.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It all felt…I don’t know. Silly? And I felt stupid for putting up with some of the things he’d do or say.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” Lily leaned over, hugging me from the side. “I’m glad you told us now. And as much as that experience sucked, I don’t think you should let him taint your perception of relationships. You shouldn’t hold yourself back from being with someone because of him.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I know. But I don’t want a relationship.
It’s just easier to be casual.” Admittedly, I didn’t want to go through that again, and while being in another relationship might have been better, there would always be an element of wanting the other person to change. No one was perfect.
And then there was the element of eventually losing that person.
It was too much inconvenience and pain when the alternative was so much easier.
“Even with casual, you deserve someone who puts you first and truly sees you. Someone who makes you feel safe,” Lily said. “Tattoos are an added bonus.” She wiggled her brows playfully.
Even though I didn’t say it out loud, I didn’t miss how easily I agreed that Leo truly saw me.
Jules fanned herself dramatically. “Those tattoos are something else.”
I took another sip of my drink, hoping to hide my smile. “Okay, enough about me, let’s start this movie.”
Lily nudged my side with her elbow, giving me a knowing look.
“This is another classic,” Jules informed, grabbing the remote and pressing play.
I looked at both of my best friends, a warm appreciation expanding in my chest. I knew how lucky I was to have these two women in my life. To be able to confide in them. To laugh with them. And yes, things were changing. But tonight only further solidified that our friendship wasn’t going anywhere.
The one margarita I had relaxed me for the movie, but once I was back in my apartment, I was just as pent-up as I’d been during majority of the weekend.
Thankfully, that could easily be fixed with a little self-care.
After taking off my jacket and shoes, I went straight to my bedroom. I turned on the lamp on my nightstand and grabbed my vibrator, which never let me down.
Once my jeans were off, I lay down on cool, silky sheets. I pushed down my underwear and spread my legs, turning the vibrator on and teasing the silicone between my legs.
My breath hitched immediately, my body knowing damn well I needed this.
My eyes fluttered closed as the pressure slowly built. I turned the intensity up a click and added additional pressure.
All I could see were long, skillful fingers working expertly. Strong, tattooed arms flexing. A confident smirk. The mattress sinking under the weight of his body.
“Fuck,” I gasped, as if I could feel his fingers digging into my hips and his hot breath on my neck.
I moved my toy lower, slipping it inside with a moan. “Just…just like that.” I barely recognized my own voice. With one hand between my legs, I used the other to push my tank top down and tease my nipples, imagining calloused fingers pinching and tugging there instead.
I wasn’t one to think of previous partners during self-pleasure—until today, apparently.
I was close. So close.
I arched my back off the mattress. My release was right there, and I was seconds away from moaning his name.
Within moments, it all came crashing down—just not in the way I’d hoped.
“Are you fucking kidding me!” I yelled as my vibrator gave out. My eyes flew open and immediately spotted the blinking red light. Fucking hell.
That was fine. I could finish with—
A knock on the door had me gritting my teeth and letting out a frustrated sigh. Within seconds, the mood disappeared.
People rarely knocked on my door, so it got me wondering if someone in the building needed something. Some of the residents on the floor were older, and it wasn’t unusual for me to help them carry their groceries up the flight of stairs or check out something in their apartment.
I’d see who was at the door and then get back to what I was doing.
I slid on a pair of pajama shorts and grabbed a sweatshirt before making my way to the front door.
“Shit,” I hissed when I realized I was still holding my vibrator. I pulled open a random drawer in my entry table and stashed it there for now. I then quickly washed my hands in the kitchen.
At the sound of another knock, I called out, “I’m coming!” before muttering, “if only.” I pulled open the door, and while my answer wasn’t the most welcoming, it was the best I could do given my…frustrating circumstances. “What is it?”
“Is that how you greet all your neighbors?”
I didn’t have to tip my head back to know that there was an annoying, amused smirk on his lips. I could practically imagine it.
Well, I did imagine it.
“Eliza?”
I swallowed, tipping my head back to look up at Leo.
He was leaning against the doorframe, any sight of his smirk gone and replaced with concern. “Are you okay? You’re all flushed.”
“I’m fine. I was just…napping and must’ve overheated in my sweatshirt.”
“Oh, shit. I woke you up? Wait, it’s like eight o’clock.”
“It’s never too late for a nap.” And I meant that. Even if that wasn’t what I’d been doing.
“Well, I just wanted to see—”
A loud buzzing interrupted Leo. A very familiar buzzing.
My eyes darted to my entry table, the drawer rattling. No. No fucking way.
Leo followed my gaze and then looked back at me. “Do you need to get that?” he asked slowly, confusion lacing his tone.
I didn’t get embarrassed easily, but this was easily up there in moments I wished I could crawl under a rock and never see the light of day.
“Uh, no. I don’t need to get that. Anyways, you wanted to see what?” I asked, trying to steer him back to our current conversation and away from questions that I didn’t want to answer.
I tried to step forward and close the door behind me because the buzzing wouldn’t stop. If anything, it got louder. There was no pretending that it was my phone on vibrate, because it would’ve stopped by now.
Leo’s mouth opened and closed. He ran a hand over his jaw. “What did you say you were in the middle of when I knocked? Napping?” He raised his brow, the corner of his mouth tipping up. The look on his face said everything his words didn’t—he knew I was lying.
Instead of admitting to it, I doubled down. “That’s exactly what I was doing.”
Leo hummed, leaning against the doorframe, close enough that I could inhale his manly scent. “And what were you thinking about when you were napping?” He used air quotes around the word, drawing my attention to his fingers. His long, skilled fingers.
“Are you sure you want to know?” Awareness of how close we were again flooded my body and how easy it would be for me to tug him inside my apartment—again.
“I’m very curious,” Leo murmured, his gaze dipping to my mouth.
I licked my lips, and against my better judgment, I leaned back against the door to open it. I took a step backward, and Leo followed.
I took another step back, and Leo hesitated until I nodded, letting him know that I wanted him to enter.
With a few more steps, the door slammed behind us, and we were in a very similar position to a few nights ago. Except with a buzzing vibrator. Yes, it was still going off. The blinking red light must’ve signaled low charge, because of course it hadn’t fully turned off.
“We said just once. We probably shouldn’t…” I didn’t believe my words, and my tone wasn’t very convincing. This was the moment I expected Leo to call me out, to break the rule we’d set and pull me into another kiss before he fucked me against any surface of his choosing. But he stayed quiet.
Had I totally misread the situation?
My lips parted, and I was about to take it all back. Tell him how we shouldn’t do this after all. But before I could do that, he turned toward my entry table, pulled open the drawer with a rough tug, and grabbed my vibrator.
He turned it off—finally, the buzzing stopped—and cocked his brow. “We said just once,” he agreed, handing it to me. “But we said nothing about you showing me what you were thinking about.”