24. Eliza
ELIZA
In the days that followed, Leo and I didn’t talk about what happened. We didn’t talk about how I said I cared about him. Or how he’d come over as soon as he realized something was wrong. And we certainly didn’t talk about how I pleaded that whatever was happening between us needed to stay casual.
As blurry as that line was getting, it needed to stay there.
Even if we were hanging out today.
Even if I was taking him to a spot I’d never taken anyone else.
I could tell myself all I wanted that it was because I wanted to give him inspiration for his tattoo, but I knew damn well it was because I trusted him. I trusted him enough to show him that I was worried, and that was fucking scary.
I worried about other people. I didn’t let them worry about me.
But I’d seen the concern on his face. The furrow in his brows. The downturn of his eyes. I couldn’t get that look out of my mind.
I couldn’t stop thinking about his grounding touch as he pulled me into his chest.
And then there was how comfortable it was to be in his embrace and to fall asleep. I vaguely remembered him carrying me to bed, and again, it was the tenderness that stood out to me.
I’d never felt that from someone I’d been with physically.
I felt safe with Leo, and it was because of the friendship we’d built. It had to be because of that.
I wasn’t letting my mind go anywhere else.
Even if we were spending the day together. As friends.
It was all as friends.
I grabbed my bag from a hook by the front door and threw in my sunglasses, water bottle, and sunscreen.
I reached for my phone, seeing another text from Colin come through.
We kept missing each other, which I was okay with, since I wasn’t exactly eager to talk to him or to find out what he wanted to tell me. I’d respond to him later.
I slid my phone into my bag and grabbed my picnic blanket. I left my apartment the same time Leo was leaving his, and we met at the stairwell to head to the parking garage.
“Ready?” he asked, a lightness to his tone and expression that I appreciated. Maybe we both wanted to forget what happened a few nights ago.
I nodded eagerly, my eyes going to the backpack he had on. “What food did you make?” I asked curiously.
“You’ll have to wait and see, Trouble.” He winked and gestured for me to follow. “Gotta have some reassurance you won’t ditch me on this hike.”
I let out a laugh. “What’s going to keep me from ditching you after we eat lunch?”
His eyes drank me in from head to toe, landing on the sliver of skin between my frayed shorts and tank top before meeting my gaze. “Oh, trust me. I have my own plans for today.”
My body heated from the look in his eyes and the rasp to his voice. With the way my body reacted, you’d think it’d been weeks not days since we had sex.
I might’ve broken my curse, but I worried that I’d gotten myself into a whole different problem with how much I craved Leo’s touch.
The trailhead was about a fifteen-minute drive west from the center of town. We were still in Golden Falls but on the very edge of city limits.
While this trail had become more known over the years, it wasn’t nearly as popular as some of the others surrounding Lake Golden. It was one of those spots you had to find through word of mouth since it didn’t show up on maps when you searched.
Leo’s was the only car in the small dirt parking lot.
“What makes the spot we’re going to one of your favorites?” Leo asked as we began walking on the dirt trail. He took the picnic blanket from me, tucking it under his arm.
We were surrounded by a forest of all sorts of trees, largely balsam, red and white pine, maple, and white birch and had to walk carefully to avoid tripping over any exposed tree roots.
“Coming to this trailhead is one of the clearer memories I have of my parents,” I admitted.
“Most of what I know about them is from what other people have told me. It’s hard to know what’s one of my actual memories and what’s something I think remember based on what I’ve heard.
My dad was a park ranger, so he knew most the trails here like the back of his hand. This was one of his favorite spots.”
“Cooper’s a park ranger, too, right?”
I nodded. “That’s what he wanted to do for as long as I can remember. I think the passion for the job only increased once our parents died.”
Leo’s hand brushed against mine, and while my head was telling me to pull away, I kept my hand right where it was, letting him intertwine our fingers together.
“You’re obviously still close with your mom, but what about your dad?
Do you see him often?” I asked. I’d only met him once when I was dating Colin, and while Celine had been warm and inviting from the start, Colin and Leo’s father was a little more aloof—or at least gave that initial impression.
I didn’t want to judge the man from one meeting.
“Not really. We talk on the phone every now and again, but I stopped visiting him when I turned eighteen. Our relationship isn’t bad, and I love him.
I mean, he’s my dad, but I hate how he treated my mom before and during the divorce.
All the yelling and belittling. I know it’s between them, and he never treated Colin or me that way, but I just…
haven’t been able to forget it. I get that things happen and people fall out of love, but I don’t understand treating someone that way who you loved and built a life with.
Or just treating a person that way in general.
Colin’s closer to him than me, and I don’t fault him for it, but there’s so much he didn’t see.
I still think it’s a good thing, but…” Leo trailed off.
He shook his head before continuing, “I don’t know.
On one hand, I’m glad he was shielded from it, but on the other, I don’t think he’d have such rose-colored glasses when it came to our dad if he remembered a little more from that time. ”
“You protected him from a lot of it.”
“I did, yeah. And from what came after. I don’t regret it. He’s my brother—I would do anything for him—even if we’re not exactly friends.”
The last part of the sentence Leo said under his breath, but I still caught it. We’d both gone through our own respective family troubles during our childhoods, but while Cooper and I got closer because of it, it seemed like it pulled Leo and Colin apart.
“It’s his loss that he’s not friends with you, and it says a lot that despite everything, you would still be there for him no questions asked.
” It didn’t take spending much time with Leo to learn that was the kind of man he was.
He showed up for those he cared about when they needed him.
I hoped that the people in his life who he cared so deeply for showed up for him, too.
And while I didn’t say it, I related to the idea of seeing someone with rose-colored glasses more than I wanted to admit. My view of Colin when we’d been together had been pretty rosy.
The hike to the spot I had in mind was just over a mile, and we spent majority of time talking about our families, work, and everything in between.
It was like we were starting from the beginning, in a way, and I liked that. I liked getting to know him in this phase of our lives.
Our view of the lake had largely been obscured by the trees until we reached the clearing. While the path was overgrown, we managed to get through.
The view was even more spectacular than I’d remembered it.
A line of trees surrounded Lake Golden, and the clear, blue water sparkled in front of us. The bright-blue sky was filled with fluffy white clouds, and it was a picture-perfect view that would fit on a postcard.
But what made this spot especially beautiful to me was the field of wildflowers.
“This is it,” I said in awe.
“It’s beautiful,” he murmured. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
When I glanced over at him, his eyes were already on me. “Of course. I’m happy to be here with you.” And I meant it.
We set up the picnic blanket underneath a tree, giving us a break from the rising heat and sun beating down on us. We were tucked away but still had a perfect view of the water.
Once we were sitting, Leo pulled a lunch box from his backpack. He took the ice packs out and handed me something wrapped in parchment paper.
“I made us sub sandwiches and brought some chips and fruit, too.”
I had a feeling I was about to eat the best sandwich of my life.
“You’re spoiling everyone in Golden Falls with your food, especially me,” I said while unwrapping the sandwich.
“Maybe you deserve to be spoiled.” He looked over at me before taking a bite of his sub.
He’d said it so simply that I wasn’t sure how to respond. Luckily, I didn’t need to, because I took a bite of my sandwich instead.
“Oh my god,” I said on a mouthful, groaning without any shame. “Every fucking time.”
“That first bite hits different, doesn’t it?” he asked with a grin.
“Uh-huh,” I said while taking another bite.
“Good. I like when you’re moaning.”
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t hide the smile on my lips. I reached for a napkin. “Have you thought about what comes next after Lake Ridge?”
“A little, yeah. I started reaching out to some restaurants this week and sending in applications.”
“Really?” I blinked, surprised, even though I shouldn’t have been. That had been his plan from the beginning…it just felt more real now. “Where are you thinking?”
“I’d like to stay in the Midwest, maybe Chicago, Madison, or Minneapolis.
I like being closer to my mom, but I still feel a pull to be in the city.
It’s not as strong as I thought it’d be—I’ve enjoyed my time in Golden Falls more than I thought I would—but there’s still something there that’s leaving me wanting more. ”
I nodded slowly. “That makes sense. I mean, the job at Lake Ridge isn’t quite what you were aiming for, right? Hopefully the experience gets you where you want to be. I still don’t understand how your old restaurant passed you up on a promotion.”