19. Nineteen
Nineteen
C learing my throat, I stand tall and look Erin in the eye. “Yes, that’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
“And even though I don’t think it’s the case, I need to ask; this isn’t some weird prank you like to pull on new girlfriends, or anything like that?”
“No prank.”
“Right.” What does that mean? Jesus, I’m nearly hyperventilating while Erin regards me. Her body language is impossible to read. “I’m going to take these books up to your room,” Erin begins. “Then I’m going to reread them and sit with the information for a little while. You,” she points at me, “are going to stay down here with your family. I need some time to sit with this.”
Erin leaves no room for conversation. She has already collected the books and is heading out of the sitting room. My family looks a little stunned. I stand there, not knowing what the hell to do.
“That went well, right?” I finally choke out .
“I think so,” Aliah replies. “She didn’t run out of the house screaming.”
“Yeah, that’s a good sign, sister,” Lucas adds.
“So, what? We just hang around and wait?” Lucille asks.
“Yes,” Father replies. “Erin has asked for some time. It’s the least we can do.”
“Let’s finish lunch,” Mother chimes. I have zero appetite, but I’m not stupid enough to argue. The food sits in my stomach like a bag of rocks. There has been no sound or movement from upstairs. I am fighting myself not to run up there and check on Erin.
“Here,” my father says, passing me a tumbler of bourbon. “This might help settle your nerves.”
“This is torture,” I reply, sipping the amber liquid. I like the burn down my throat.
“It’s going to be okay, Amelia.”
“I hope so, Dad.” The creak of a floorboard upstairs catches everyone’s attention. I hold my breath, praying silently that Erin isn’t trying to sneak out of the house and out of my life.
“Can you all go back to the sitting room?” Erin calls from the bottom of the stairs. The clock tells me Erin has been upstairs for an hour. Is that really enough time to fully comprehend what we have just dropped on her? Trust her .
We filter back to the same spots as before. Erin ushers me to sit in the armchair. I’m clenching everything as she paces back and forth in front of us all. “So, you’re vampires.”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“And from what I’ve read, vampires have been around as long as humans.”
“Absolutely,” my father replies .
“Okay, so vampires are real, and you are a family of them.”
“Yes,” I repeat.
“Sorry, I just need to get this square in my mind. It’s a lot.”
“Take your time, love,” Mother reassures.
“Do you drink blood?”
“Yes, but not human,” Lucas pipes up. “There is a lot of misinformation about our species, Erin. We aren’t monsters. We’re simply different.”
“Do you twinkle in the sun?” We all look at her, confused. Erin is trying to keep a smile off her face. Then I understand the reference.
“No, Twilight is definitely not an accurate representation of our species,” I deadpan. Maria lets out a snort.
“Okay, no disco ball skin, that’s kind of a bummer.”
Shaking my head, I let myself laugh. “Erin, please forget ninety percent of everything you have ever heard about vampires.”
“Okay, so tell me the truth. Why aren’t you out in the open?”
“Because of all the lies that have been told,” I state. “We are depicted as devil spawn. For millennia, humans have fed their own fears. It would be too dangerous to live openly.”
“Yeah, I can see that.”
“Ask anything Erin, and we’ll tell you.” Laurance adds.
“The texts gave me an insight into your history. If I read correctly, Victoria and Harlan, you are over two hundred years old.”
“We are.”
“Holy shit,” Erin mutters. “How old are the rest of you?”
“We are the age, you know,” Lucille cuts in. “Well, Laurence and Marcus are a little older. ”
“This is the part that is a little complicated to explain,” Mother begins. I sit back in the chair and allow her to explain how vampires mate. All the time I am watching Erin for her reaction.
“So, at thirty, you change. That is, if you have your mate.”
“Put simply, yes.”
“And if you don’t have a mate?” The family shares a look. “What? What is the problem if you don’t have a mate?”
“The stories you’ve heard about vampires being bloodthirsty monsters,” I start. “There is a degree of truth. If a vampire has not bonded with their mate by the time their thirtieth birthday is over, they become those monsters. Our souls are made to find their other half. Once we are bonded, we become immortal.”
“Immortal.”
“Yes.”
“And if you don’t, you’ll turn crazy?”
“Yes.”
“Then what?”
“The family must put you down.”
“And by that, you mean?”
“Kill the crazy,” Lucille interjects.
Silence descends. “Amelia.” Erin’s voice quivers and I know what she wants to know. “Have you mated?”
“Yes, I have.”
Erin’s face pales. “Who is your mate?”
“You are.”
Erin stands stock-still, staring at me. “But I’m human. Is that even possible?”
“It’s happened a couple of times in the past,” Laurence says.
“And they were able to live together? ”
“No.” Mother drops her head as she speaks. “In each case, the vampire has expired.”
“No,” Erin barks. “No, Amelia, that cannot happen.”
“Before we get into that, I need to know how you feel about all this, Erin.”
“How do I feel? Amelia, I have no idea, this is all…”
“Not about this, about me.” This is the moment of truth.
“Well, telling you how I feel in front of your entire family wasn’t my plan, but okay. I have been drawn to you from the moment we met, even if I was reaming you out for breaking the rules.” Erin shoots me a wink. “My feelings for you grew so quickly, it’s hard to wrap my head around.”
“That’s your soul calling for Amelia’s,” my father says.
“My soul?”
“Yes. We know a vampire’s soul is always searching for its mate. This is a strange situation. Amelia has had to fight her urges. There was no guarantee you felt the same, but now, I think it’s clear. Your soul has been searching for hers, too.”
“When you say fight her urges? What do you mean?”
“The moment my soul mated with you; it craved that bond. If you were a vampire, you would have felt it too and we would have come together, cementing that bond.”
“But because I’m human, it’s not happening how it should?”
“Exactly. It seems I’ve had side effects from not bonding with you.”
“Are you telling me your so-called ulcer is the result of mating with me?”
“Yes. ”
“Jesus Christ, Amelia, I am so sorry.” I’m out of my chair in a flash. There is no way I will let Erin blame herself for any of this.
“No, stop. This isn’t your fault. It’s not mine either.”
“Mother Nature is a bitch,” she sobs into my chest.
“She is,” I chuckle.
“So what now? Does that mean we can’t bond?”
“We think you can,” Lucille adds. “But you have to give yourselves entirely to each other, Erin. This is a commitment of the deepest order. For Amelia, once the bond is set, she cannot live without you, so, Erin, if you leave her down the line, you will kill her.”
“Fucking hell, Lucille!” I bark. “Too far.”
“No, she’s right. But what about when I die?” The wind is knocked out of my body. Throughout this entire mess, I have only thought of what happens to me. Selfish doesn’t even cover how I feel right now. “If I understand correctly, the moment we bond, Amelia will become immortal. I won’t, so at some point I’m going to grow old and die. What happens to her then?”
“We don’t know,” I mutter. I’m so ashamed of myself.
“Well, we need to find out,” Erin states. “There is no half-assing this, right?”
“We are doing our best to find out. The fact is, Erin, all of this is guesswork.”
“We don’t even know if you can bond properly,” Lucille says. I glare at her because I’m pissed, and it’s easy to be mad with Lucille.
“So let’s get bonding,” Erin grins.
“Erin, you need to take some time and think about this. I don’t know how this will change your life, but it will. You need to be one hundred percent sure of this—of us. ”
“Of course I’m going to think all this through, but, Amelia, now I understand what I’m feeling, I can’t even imagine walking away from you.” Her declaration should be music to my ears, but once again, I am left deflated. I don’t want immortality if Erin can’t be with me the entire time. I can’t watch her grow old and leave me.
“I think you two need to spend some time together. Talk it out.” My father has risen from his seat. “We’re here for you both. And, Erin, as far as we are concerned you are a Loch now.”
“Just a really short one,” she quips, causing everyone to laugh.
Thirty minutes later, we walk into Insomnia. Obviously neither of us are working, but after this afternoon’s revelations, we’re both in the mood for a stiff drink.
Making our way to the bar, Erin suddenly stops and whirls around, her eyes wide. “Amelia, does that mean everyone here is a vampire?” she whispers.
“The clientele are a mix, but yes, apart from you, everyone who works here is a vampire.”
Erin whistles low, “Wow. Even Claire?”
“Yes,” I laugh, “Even Claire.”
“Uh huh, alright, alright.”
“Are you okay?” Erin is taking this remarkably well, so well, I’m a little worried she’s going to have a meltdown at some point.
“Yes, just letting it all sink in. Stop worrying.” I scoff because that isn’t going to happen .
We get to the bar, and I signal Kit. She pours us our usual drinks without asking. Claire enters the bar, smiling as she comes over. “Hello, you two.” Erin is staring at her with narrow eyes, which makes me laugh. “I take it she knows,” Claire grins.
“You look no different to me, like at all. Nothing would give you away as being a vampire.”
“Next time I’ll wear my cape and turn into a bat,” Claire deadpans.
“Can you do that?” Erin squeals. “I hate bats.”
Claire raises a single eyebrow. “Are you being serious right now?”
“No, of course not. I’m just messing. Trying to get Amelia to lighten up. Phew, it’s a full-time job.”
“Hey,” I laugh.
“Let’s drink these and go upstairs.” Erin necks her drink and is already leaving the bar.
“I’ll talk to you later,” I call to Claire as I follow Erin to the secret stairs.
Now I haven’t got my family with me. I’m feeling a little more nervous. Erin is not having the same problem. We enter the penthouse, and she flops to the sofa, smiling. “It’s good to be home,” she sighs and my heart thuds. Does that mean she wants to be here with me? She called it home, so that must mean something.
“It’s certainly been a day.”
“Come and sit down.”
I make my way over to her. My first reaction is to give her some space, but Erin grabs my hand and pulls me close. Moving, she ends up on my lap, her hands around my neck. “Are you going to kiss me now? It’s been hours. ”
“Do you… do you still want me to?”
“Amelia, I know we have a lot to talk about and there are tons of things you need to explain to me, but at this moment, all I want is the feel of your lips on mine.”
Closing the gap, I kiss her with everything I’ve got. A flicker of a feeling hums in my abdomen. It’s not frenzied or chaotic. It’s the feeling of hope.