Chapter 4
4
Carlo
“G ive her some time,” I said to Eve on the back patio. She and Nick had expressed their concerns regarding Giselle’s—behavior.
“It’s been two weeks. I agree with my wife on this. She needs help.” Nick picked up his glass of whiskey and took a sip.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard her swear in all the years I’ve known her. And now every second word is—eff this, eff you, eff that,” Eve said, clearly traumatized by the change in her best friend. Even so, Eve was still cute as fuck while imitating Giselle.
“She must’ve gone through a lot.” I sighed, and grabbed the bottle of cold beer I’d pulled out of the fridge a few minutes ago. The cool, bitter taste slid down my throat.
“I know she did. I just wish she’d talk about it with me. Or with one of us. Or with someone. She can’t keep that stuff bottled in.” Eve shook her head and blinked back the tears in her glassy eyes.
I looked at my best friend’s wife and said, “I’ve suggested all those things. She doesn’t want to talk. She just wants to disappear.”
Fuck.
If I heard my woman say that one more time—how she wanted to disappear—it might just kill me. “All those months of looking for her. Worrying about her. And now we finally have her back. And she hates my fucking guts.”
Eve nodded and took a deep breath. “She—she knows that we slept together when she was gone.”
My eyebrows rose on my forehead, and I felt like saying, “Oh, shit.” But I didn’t.
Eve bit her bottom lip. “She assumed. And I couldn’t lie. And then she called me a—” the word caught in her throat, “whore.” The tears that had threatened to fall—now fell. Down her beautiful cheeks.
I took another swig of my beer. “If she were thinking clearly, she’d be happy to know you were there for me. She’d thank you for what you did.” My eyes met Eve’s, and she gave me back a sad smile.
“I know. It still hurt, though. And I couldn’t lie to her. I just couldn’t.” Her voice quivered, and every cell in my body wanted to go over there and comfort her.
But I couldn’t.
Not if Giselle was having jealousy issues.
I’d keep my distance from Eve. And that stabbed me right through the heart. I loved Eve.
But until Giselle got over this—hurdle, I wouldn’t add any more fuel to the fire in her mind.
“No lying. You did the right thing, Eve. She’ll realize it someday. Sooner than later, I hope.”
The sound of a door closing caught our attention, and we turned to see Stefan walking our way.
“Jesus.” He shook his head and glared at me. “We can only guess what kind of shit went down at Sergio’s compounds. None of us know what she’s seen. Maybe you should give her a fuckin’ break and stop expecting her to be happy about you two fucking each other’s brain’s out while she was busy blowing Bastratto’s cock.”
Obviously, my brother had heard our conversation.
I stood so quickly my chair fell over backward behind me.
Nick was watching us, though. Like he always did whenever my brother and I were in the same space. He rose to his feet.
“Stop,” Nick said, moving in between us. “Honest to Christ, you two can’t behave for five fuckin’ minutes.” He shook his head and gave us both looks. He took a deep breath and said, “I asked Stefan over here to help think of ways to get through to Giselle.”
He looked at my brother. “And saying that kind of shit is not helpful here, Stefan. So, if you want to help a woman we all love, then stay. But if you want to get in a few more jabs, then leave.”
Stefan retreated and stood off to the side behind Eve.
I picked my chair up and sat down, still ready to yank Stefan’s fuckin’ head off if I had to.
“Good,” Nick said, and sat back down again. “What about medical help? Assessments? Medications?”
I looked at Nick, but not my brother. “I’ve had everyone and their dog over here to do that for her. She won’t talk to them. And she won’t take any medications. The only time she gets out of bed is to pump or go to the bathroom.”
She refused to breastfeed Marcello. Out and out refused.
But her breasts were so sore, she’d started using a breast pump sometime on the second day out of the ICU.
“She hardly pays any attention to Dani. And I’ve never seen her hold the baby. She doesn’t even acknowledge his presence.” Eve was telling the truth. And it was all disturbing as fuck.
Giselle had always been a wonderful mother. Looking after Dani was second nature to her. But now, she had no interest.
Yes, she spoke to Dani. Yes, she told Dani that she loved her.
But no, she didn’t get out of bed to play with Dani or change her clothes. Or brush her hair.
None of the things that Giselle would normally do for her daughter.
And as for the baby—Eve was also right about him.
Giselle acted like he didn’t exist at all.
“There are enough of us around to be there for those kids. Giselle helped us out when we needed her the most.” Eve’s hand landed on her husband’s arm. Nick set his hand on hers and they shared a look.
Eve was right about all of that, too. Dani and Marcello had many arms to hold them and care for them.
“None of us are their mother, though. You guys are missing the whole fucking point.” Stefan shook his head and started pacing around, looking agitated.
“Oh, you’re helping out, are you?” I glared at my brother.
His head snapped to me. “If you weren’t here, yeah, I’d be here a lot more fuckin’ often than I am.”
Nick cut in and interrupted our back and forth. “The bullshit you two share has no room at this table. I called you all here to help Giselle,” he reminded us of our mission.
So, I shut up.
We talked for a while before I excused myself to check on her. I didn’t like to go more than an hour without laying eyes on Giselle. If I got to minute sixty-one, something in my gut started to twist and turn.
It physically hurt to be away from her. I walked inside my quiet house and headed through the living room. Halfway up the stairs, I heard Marcello’s shrill cry.
And I smiled.
My son.
My father’s namesake. He would be so proud and excited to see his first grandson.
I rushed up the rest of the stairs and down the hall to his room.
The rest of the kids were sleeping, and I wanted to keep it that way.
Opening the nursery door, the scent of baby powder filled my nose.
Baby powder and—yeah.
A full diaper.
“Shh, shh,” I said as I scooped up my stinky son.
And then I highly regretted my decision. “Oh,” I said, my hand feeling the warmth on my son’s back as my eyes focused on the yellow mustard stain on his crib sheet. “I guess we’d better get you cleaned up, right?”
I walked us to his bathroom and started the water for a bath.
A minute later, Eve came rushing into the bathroom. “Do you want me to help?” she asked, completely out of breath.
Eve had been my rock for the last two weeks. I didn’t know fuck all about babies, and she’d given me many crash courses on what to do, and when.
Crapping up his onesie seemed to be my son’s specialty. As was peeing on me.
Those had been my first lessons.
“No, I think I can handle it. Thanks.” I smiled at her.
She grinned back and said, “I love you, Carlo. We’ll get through this. I know we will.”
I really wished I could hold her to that. “Yeah, I know. I love you, too.”
Normally, Eve would walk over to me and plant a kiss on my lips. Or at the very least, touch my arm.
If Giselle was as jealous as Eve said she was—we were going to have to stop that for a while. Until Giselle was—Giselle again.
Eve left us alone, and I bathed my fussy son all by myself.
After I dried him off, put another clean onesie on him, and changed out the crib sheets, I grabbed a bottle of breast milk from the kitchen.
My son did not enjoy waiting for his meal. But this was the way it had to be.
Bottle in mouth, I carried him upstairs to go check on his mother.
I listened at my door for any sounds. I always hoped to open the door to see her up and around, putting clothes away or making the bed.
But she never was.
Giselle was always in one place.
The bed.
I opened the door and walked inside quietly. She was in bed.
I walked over to my side and sat down with Marcello.
“I brought someone up to say hi to you.” I looked at Giselle’s unmoving prone form.
She rolled over, struggling as she went. She gave us her back. Again. Marcello’s birth had been traumatic for her body. Especially on certain organs.
She’d needed a couple of surgeries to stop the bleeding and to correct some damage.
The doctors weren’t sure if she’d ever be able to have another baby.
Needless to say, she was still in a lot of pain. Not that she’d take any pain meds for that pain. Because she wouldn’t.
Not one.
Instead, she suffered. I could tell. I could feel how uncomfortable she was, and how hard easy tasks were for her now.
“I’m trying to sleep. Leave me alone,” she mumbled under her breath.
Sleep.
In her first days awake in the hospital, she slept a lot.
But she was also critically ill. That sleep she needed.
Now, her body had healed, but not all the way. She still had a long way to go.
But man, she came a long way from where she’d started. I knew her body was better. But that was when her mind took a downward spiral.
She was constantly pissed about everything. The food. The temperature of the room. My breathing.
Anything and everything she could complain about, she did.
It was draining. I didn’t care, though. As long as it meant she was still talking to me, I’d listen to anything that came out of that woman’s mouth.
“Do you want to hold him?”
She let out a long huffing noise. “You’re the one that wanted him so badly. You hold him.” Her voice was terse and sharp. This was not my Giselle. Not at all. My Giselle would be grabbing our son out of my arms and hogging him to herself. She’d feed him and kiss him. And love him completely.
The woman that lay beside me now was someone completely different.
“He’s your baby, too, Giselle. Why don’t you try to hold him?” I had a theory in my head. I wasn’t sure if it would work or not. But fuck if I didn’t want to try it, anyway.
In my mind, I thought if Giselle held the baby, that something might just—click. And turn on her mothering instinct.
She rolled back over, and I wondered if this would be the time that she’d give in and hold Marcello.
“Our son? How do you know that he’s yours?” Her eyes glared at me like she wanted me to burn in hell.
“Because after you gave birth, you told me he was mine,” I reminded her.
She let out a sharp laugh. “Uh, huh. And did you get a DNA test?”
Every muscle in my body tensed up at her question.
“Tell me, Carlo. Did you believe me? Or did you get a DNA test done?”
Fuck.
I didn’t want to lie to her. There were already so many secrets we kept from each other.
“I believed you, Giselle. And I also got a DNA test done.”
She let out a louder laugh this time. But it wasn’t a happy laugh. Not at all.
“Yeah, you trusted me all right. You trusted me so much that you ran out to get him tested the second you could.”
I wanted to argue with her. To remind her that she’d specifically told me to get a test done.
“I knew he was mine,” I told her, trying not to get pissed off. Patience was the only way I’d be able to deal with this woman beside me. Until my woman came back.
“Right, you knew. So that’s why you had him tested. Makes sense.” Then she turned around, slowly, and faced away from us again.
“I love you, Giselle,” I said the words I’d uttered many times before. And just like each time since I’d brought her home from the hospital, she didn’t respond.
The one thing that did surprise me was that she’d agreed to sleep in my bed. It wasn’t until the middle of the night on day one that I understood why.
Her nightmares were fucking horrific.
She woke up screaming. Every night.
And every night, she turned and clung to me in supreme terror.
Not much scared me in life anymore. But when Giselle was in the middle of a nightmare—that shit chilled me to the bone. Whatever she dreamed about every night—it was dreadful.
So, I guess some protection was better than no protection. And I was the largest male in the house. Likely her best bet at staying safe.
Marcello finished off his bottle, and I burped him.
And then I held him while he slept. “He has your smile, Giselle. And your dimples.” I gently grazed my finger over my son’s soft cheek.
“It’s just gas, Carlo. Settle down. He’s too young to smile yet,” Giselle said in an exasperated tone. At least she was talking.
“He smiles at me. And he smiles more when you’re nearby. I think he can smell you. Or sense that you’re close.”
She let out an annoyed sigh. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Shut up and let me go to sleep.”
I sat watching Marcello for a little while longer. Then I carefully placed him in the bassinet Eve had brought in here. He didn’t sleep in there all the time, but it did come in handy. His midnight feeding would start soon. So, I switched off the light and stretched out on the bed.
I actually caught a good hour of sleep before Giselle woke up screaming.