Chapter 4
HAILEE
Ihave a love-hate relationship with weddings.
As a little girl, I was obsessed with them.
We’d get invited to a lot, thanks to my parents’ connections, and I just wanted to get swept away by the romance and magic of it all.
I’d spend my free time planning my perfect day. I’d design my dress, my bridesmaids’, and an outfit for my mother. I knew she’d never approve of my choice, but that didn’t matter. It was all a fantasy.
Deep down, I really believed that one day, I’d meet the man of my dreams and he’d sweep me off my feet just like I used to read about in the books I kept hidden under my bed, and that he’d give me the most incredible day before we embarked on an amazing life together.
But then, I grew up.
All my dreams were shattered by the harsh realities of life, and when I did end up standing in a dress at the altar, it was nothing like I’d ever imagined.
Regret trickles through my veins as I watch Linc and Parker laugh together on the head table with Parker’s parents, Rett, Casey, Nova, and Sutton. Linc’s mom is up there, too, but she doesn’t look to be enjoying herself like the others. In fact, she looks like she’d rather be anywhere else.
I understand to a point—she probably spent her life dreaming of watching her kids get married with her husband by her side. Unfortunately, life doesn’t care about our dreams. It does whatever the fuck it wants and messes with all of us, whether we deserve it or not.
I don’t realize I sigh quite so heavily until Hayden turns to look at me.
“Are you okay?” he asks quietly.
I force a smile on my face. I’m not usually one to allow myself to get lost in my own thoughts while surrounded by colleagues.
I have no desire for any of them to know more about me than my role in the franchise.
Before Bea became a part of this group, as far as I was aware, no one knew anything.
Bea and I haven’t ever dived into the past, but there is an understanding between us.
And I’m more than happy to keep it that way.
My past is exactly where it belongs: in the past.
“Yeah, of course. They look so happy, don’t they?”
“They do,” Hayden agrees, also watching the happy couple. “Do you think there’s someone out there like that for everyone?”
My breath catches at his question. “I…um…” There was a time when I’d have said yes. Without a doubt, yes. But now, I’m not so sure. “I don’t know,” I answer honestly.
“No, me either,” he muses.
“Are you finished, ma’am?” a server asks before taking my plate.
“Yes, thank you. It was delicious.” I’m struggling to find my appetite while my head is spinning with memories of the past, and the pain that Hayden helped drag up earlier.
“Did you just let her take food away?” Calvin asks in horror.
“Uh…yeah. Sorry, did you want it?”
A chorus of “hell yes” from every single guy, including Hayden, hits me.
“Oh, sorry,” I say with a wince. “Forgot you’re all growing boys.”
“Strength and speed, Hailee. Strength and speed,” Kodie mocks.
“Right, yeah. Sorry.”
“Daddy,” Sutton squeals, stealing the attention of the entire table.
“Hey, peanut. Are you being good up there?”
“Yep,” she says, popping the P. “I’m just checking in that you’re all being good.”
“We’ve got Hailee sitting with us,” Calvin points out, shooting me an amused look. “You don’t need to worry about our behavior.”
“Huh,” the sassy little girl says, popping a hip. “Didn’t you say the other day that—” In a rush, Calvin leans over and slaps his giant hand over Sutton’s face.
“Nothing. I didn’t say anything. You must have been dreaming.”
Sutton’s brows lift in response, and Calvin waits a few seconds before feeling brave enough to drop his hand.
“Hailee doesn’t see everything,” she squeals before running away, Calvin immediately taking off after her.
“Aren't you going to rescue Sutton?” Bea asks Kodie while everyone roars with laughter. But it’s the sound that comes from beside me that really steals my attention, and when I look over at Hayden, I find he’s also laughing.
My smile widens, seeing him pushing his pain aside and enjoying himself, even if it is for only a few seconds.
“Sutton doesn’t need me. She’s more than able to fight her own battles,” Kodie says, reaching for his drink and taking a sip as Sutton’s laughter rips through the air.
We all watch as Calvin wrestles with her.
“He’s aware she’s wearing a bridesmaid dress, right?” I point out.
“This is Killer we’re talking about,” Cole states, making everyone laugh again.
“Fair. Well, he'll be facing Parker’s wrath if he ruins it before the day is over,” Freya says.
“I don’t think I’m ready for Parker’s wrath,” Cole mutters, thinking of the upcoming season.
“Darcy isn’t much better,” Kodie points out, mentioning our newest athletic trainer. “He did something to my shoulder at the end of last year. Feels fucking amazing now, but at the time, fuck, I thought I was going to die.”
Hayden chuckles again beside me. “He almost made me cry,” he confesses.
“He’s brutal, but in the best kind of way,” Kodie says.
“I’m kinda looking forward to it. Never feel more alive than up on that table,” Hayden adds, and I can’t stop myself from smiling as he finally fully immerses himself in conversation.
“Oh, I don’t know, hitting the ice for a Stanley Cup Final game was one hell of a buzz,” Cole points out.
“Just wait until you’re all lifting the cup,” I state, fully confident in the season they’re about to embark on.
Agreement rings out around me before our dessert arrives, and unsurprisingly, the second a plate is lowered in front of Calvin’s chair, the man himself appears, ready to devour his cheesecake.
“Oh my God, this is so good,” Freya says.
“Yours is better,” Cole points out, making her smile around her spoon.
“He’s just saying that to make sure he gets some tonight,” Calvin mutters.
“What’s wrong, Kill. Jealous?”
Calvin makes a show of looking around. “Nah, there have got to be some single girls who want to spend the night with a legend around here somewhere.”
“There are girls, sure. But the only legends are taken,” Cole deadpans.
“Oh burn, bro,” Hayden teases.
“You gonna be my wingman tonight, Marilyn? I’m sure we can find you someone.”
The second the words leave Calvin’s lips, Hayden turns to look at me. I have no idea why. Is he asking permission? Or does he need me to get him out of it? Either way, I might feel for him with everything he’s going through right now, but I can’t fight his battles for him.
“Uh…we’ll see. Not sure hooking up with any members of Parker or Linc’s family is a good idea.”
“Pfft, you worry too much,” Calvin mutters, shoveling another forkful of cheesecake into his mouth.
As the evening progresses, the guys have more to drink, and they get louder and more boisterous. It’s nothing I can’t handle, and I soon find that while none of us are on the clock, it’s actually quite fun to watch them.
“Hailee, come and dance with us,” Bea calls from where she, Casey, Freya, Parker, and Sutton are all dancing together.
“No, I’m okay.”
“Come on. Let your hair down a little,” Parker cries.
I grit my teeth as I try to decide what to do, but it turns out that I don’t really get a choice because Sutton rushes forward and practically drags me from my chair. It must be all the training she does, because that girl is stronger than she looks.
I can’t remember the last time I let my hair down and forgot all my worries on a dance floor.
It was a long time before I moved to LA.
Sure, I’ve been in countless clubs and events during my time here, but I’m always working—keeping an eye on the guys, trying to keep them out of harm’s way, or more so, the bunnies out of their clutches.
They only lead to stories and fires that need putting out the next morning.
But as I begin moving my hips, I remember how freeing dancing can be.
It’s not long before I’ve put everything aside and I’m dancing like I should have been when I turned twenty-one and legal for the first time.
Laughter peals from my lips, sweat clings to my skin, and a rush I haven’t felt in so long surges through my veins.
“You’re a good dancer, Hailee,” Casey says.
“Thanks. I did a lot of classes when I was younger.”
“We didn’t,” Parker calls, her voice already slurred from the number of drinks people keep handing her. “Can you tell?”
I watch the way she’s moving completely out of time to the beat of the music. “Nope. Never would have guessed,” I say, fighting my smirk.
“Oh, you are such a liar, Ms. Caldwell.”
I shrug, laughing as she makes her dancing even worse on purpose.
“Happy looks good on you,” I shout over the music.
“Thanks. It feels good, too. No woman needs a man, I know that for a fact. But I can’t lie, when you find the right one, things just…” She lets out a happy sigh that makes my chest tighten. “Fuck, things get better.”
Casey, Freya, and Bea all agree. And in that moment, I couldn’t feel less single if I tried.
Usually, I don’t care. I actively avoid having to spend time with men—outside of work, of course. I’m not on any dating apps. I’m not interested. I figure that if there’s someone out there for me, he’s going to have to come and find me because I am putting in zero effort here.
I love my life in LA. I love my job. I love my colleagues. I work with some of the most talented people in professional sports, and I couldn’t be happier.
Sure, I don’t doubt that many would look at me and question how I could possibly be happy.
I don’t have friends or socialize; I don’t do anything really outside of work, but I’m okay with that.
No, I’m more than okay with it. I’m ecstatic.
I am fully my own boss with no one telling me what to do, where to be, how to act, or dress. It’s everything I’ve wanted for years.
Everything is exactly as it’s meant to be.
Their heated stares make my face burn. “Don’t you all give me that look,” I shout.
“We’re not giving you any look. We just think you should maybe have a little more fun in your life.”
“I have fun,” I argue.
“Oh, yeah? When?”
“The other night, I ordered my favorite takeout, opened a bottle of wine, and curled up on my couch with the book I’ve been waiting to read for ages. Perfect night in.”
Parker screws up her nose, making me dread whatever words are about to come out of her mouth.
“You’re missing something,” she points out.
I raise my brows, waiting for her to make her point.
“A perfect night has to include orgasms.”
My cheeks burn bright red.
Now, I’m no prude.
I read what many would classify as pure smut, and I’m not ashamed of it.
I work around men who are crude as hell a lot of the time.
Sure, they usually tone it down when there are women around, but I’m good at popping up when they least expect it.
And I’m not a virgin. But equally, I’ve never had girlfriends I’ve been able to talk about sex with.
Hell, I’ve never had anyone I can talk to about it.
And hearing them be so open makes me feel…
I don’t know. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed. It’s just…different, I guess.
Forcing all that down, I summon up the courage to say what I know they would in this situation.
“You didn’t let me finish,” I tease.
Parker’s smirk turns into a full-blown grin before she holds her hand up for a high five. “Oh yes, get in there, girl.”