Chapter 14
HAILEE
Lowering my cell after placing my order, I wiggle my toes, rest my head back on my lounger, and take a deep breath. This balcony is hands down my favorite part of my apartment, and days like today make my heart feel so much lighter.
Sure, I’ve been through some shit, but looking back now, I can’t help but feel like it was all worth it to end up here.
I have a life that is my own with no one looking over my shoulder, no one dictating my moves. I get to be my own boss and do the things that make my heart happy.
It wasn’t until I found the strength to walk away from my old life that I really appreciated just how bad it was.
I think back to that young girl who thought she was being handed everything she needed in life, and I want to laugh in her face.
She had no idea how out of control she was.
Everyone around her had planned everything.
I didn’t even get to choose my own wedding dress, let alone the man, or where we’d live and what my life would be like.
It all looked good on the outside, though. To the rest of the world, I was living every woman’s dream life: married to an attractive man with more money than he could spend in a lifetime. Living in a house that was far too big and extravagant for two, with staff to do everything.
But that dream life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The man might have been attractive on the outside, but what was hidden beneath the surface? I shake my head, stopping myself from going there.
It’s hard to remember just how bad it got, how low I was. How he stripped away everything I knew of myself and molded me into the woman he wanted by his side.
I was never meant to be that woman. I could never be satisfied being a housewife, spending my days shopping and living the kind of life those around me wanted me to.
It works for others, and I’m sure they love every second of it. But it just wasn’t me. No matter how hard my parents pushed, how much my husband tried, I just couldn’t fit that mold.
And one day, clarity came, and I knew what I needed to do.
I also knew that it would be harder than anything I’d experienced up until that point.
No one walks away from the Jeffersons and lives to tell the tale.
Okay, that might be a little dramatic. But it’s true.
They’re this larger-than-life family, alongside the Walshes. But as Bea knows, it isn’t all sunshine and roses being connected to them.
Thoughts of the past dampen my mood a little, and I push my laptop open again and pick up where I left off.
I knew from a young age that I wanted to follow in my father’s footsteps.
He’d worked in PR all his life, and he’s worked with some incredible people.
But as a young girl, I had no idea that my parents had earmarked my brother as my father’s successor and completely overlooked me.
I didn’t understand all of this until years later, when it became obvious that my role was to marry up and improve my father’s social status.
After my brother died, the only positive I had in my life was that I could graduate and take on the role that he was going to get.
But it was never even an option.
I fought for it—fought hard—but it achieved nothing.
Dad employed someone else to fill the gap that Spencer left behind, and I was handed over to the Jeffersons as if I were no more than an unwanted family dog.
I rub at my chest as pain cuts through me. I wasn’t wanted back then. But now, I’ve found a place where I’m needed, and I fucking love it.
Beside me, my cell starts ringing, and when I see Jude’s name, I swipe the screen and lift it to my ear.
“Hey, is everything okay?”
He begins talking me through an idea he’s had for a social media campaign, and I sink deeper into my lounger and listen to him, offering up some suggestions when they hit me.
I startle when my apartment buzzer cuts through the air.
Tucking my cell between my ear and shoulder, I climb to my feet and adjust my bikini as I make my way toward my front door.
My cover-up catches my eye as I pass the island, but I quickly ignore it when the buzzer goes again.
I want my peanut butter banana smoothie more than I care about flashing the concierge on shift.
With Jude still talking my ear off, I unlock the door, ready to pull it open, accept my delivery, and return to my suntrap to continue working on my tan, but my plan soon vanishes in a puff of smoke.
My cell slips from my shoulder and clatters to the floor as my chin drops in shock.
Hayden doesn’t look any less shocked, his eyes widening and a puff of air escaping him as his gaze drops to my body.
“Oh my god,” I mutter as a rush of heat rolls through me at the way he’s taking me in.
“I…uh…brought your suitcase and sandwiches and—” He holds up my smoothie. “Whatever this concoction is.”
“Oh my god,” I repeat as his eyes drop to my barely covered body again.
“Hailee? Hailee? Is everything okay?” It takes me a few seconds to register where that distant voice is coming from.
“Oh shit,” I hiss, spinning around and letting go of the door so I can find my cell.
“Hi, Jude, I’m so sorry.” There’s a loud intake of breath behind me, and I curse my choice of bikini because almost all my ass is on display right now. “I dropped my phone, and then my buzzer went off. Do you mind if we hit pause on this? I think it’s a fantastic idea, though.”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll work on what we discussed and send a schedule over for you to review.”
“Sounds good. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
“You too.”
He cuts the call first, and I lower my cell, keeping my back to the man I know has invited himself into my apartment, and from the way my skin is tingling, I’m guessing he’s still staring at my ass.
I take a moment to breathe before I spin around, swipe my cover up from the counter, and throw it over my shoulders. Only, the sheer black fabric gets all twisted up, and I end up battling with something that isn’t going to hide even an inch of my skin when it’s on.
“Let me help,” Hayden rasps, his voice suspiciously deep as he reaches out and takes control of the situation.
He shakes out the fabric, allowing it to untwist, then holds it so I can slip my arms inside.
“Thank you,” I mutter under my breath as I wrap it around my waist, for all the good it does. My tiny, fire engine–red bikini that is reserved for days at home alone and no one else's eyes but mine is still on full display.
He doesn’t say anything, and I realize that I have no choice but to roll my shoulders back and own this situation. It’s what he’d expect me to do. I’m Hailee Caldwell, after all, badass PR Director for the LA Vipers. Showing my ass to a player doesn’t even come close to bringing me down.
“What are you doing here, Hayden?” My words come out harsher than intended, and the second his expression drops, I regret them.
“I…uh…brought your suitcase. And lunch,” he says, holding up the bag, reminding me he mentioned something about sandwiches.
“Right. How did you find which apartment was mine?”
A smirk twitches at his lips, and I can’t help but roll my eyes.
“You sweet-talked the concierge, really?”
“Yep, and signed a few things for his kid, and promised front-row tickets to a game or two.” I raise my brows. “Or five,” he admits before his eyes drop from mine once again. “So fucking worth it, though. You look like a goddess, Hails.”
“Hails?” I echo.
“Uh…Hailee. Shit. I’m sorry,” he says, dragging his hand down his face. “I wasn’t expecting…you’ve…you’ve kind blown my mind with all…” He waves his hand up and down, indicating my body. “With all that.”
I close my eyes, my muscles relaxing a little.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have answered the door like that. I was on the phone and expecting my smoothie.”
“That’s a smoothie?” he asks, his nose wrinkling at the drink. “Aren’t they meant to be full of fruit?”
“Peanut butter banana.”
Now his top lip peels back too.
“Please tell me you’re kidding,” he begs.
“No, it’s a great source of protein and will keep me full all day. You should probably look at adding it to your diet.”
“Absolutely not,” he scoffs. “This body is a temple, and no peanut butter enters.”
“Shit, you’re not allergic, are you?” I suddenly ask, reaching for my smoothie and moving it away from him.
“No, you’re safe. I’m still not putting it anywhere near my lips.”
“Right. Okay, so thanks for bringing my suitcase. It was unnecessary, but I appreciate it. You can—” My words die when he spins around and looks toward my balcony.
“What are you doing?” I ask when he begins walking toward it.
“Oh shit,” I gasp when he lowers the bag in his hand to the table, then reaches over his head and pulls his shirt off.
I’ve seen him shirtless numerous times, but we’re usually at the arena.
There are other people around. This…this feels very different.
“Hayden,” I warn, rushing toward him. But I’m too slow—he’s already lowering his ass to the lounger I wasn’t sitting on and pulling wrapped sandwiches and chips from the bag.
“I brought lunch. And considering you ordered that…smoothie, I’m assuming you’re hungry.” I stand there gaping at him as he holds one of the parcels in front of me. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I had to guess. I hope it’s okay.”
“I…um…”
“Ham, salami, cheese, lettuce, mayo,” he says, I assume listing ingredients as he unwraps his sandwich and takes a huge bite.
When he looks over at me, his eyes are alight with happiness, and the last of the tension drains out of me.
“Thank you,” I finally say. “I hadn’t eaten yet today, and—”
“It’s almost three, Hails. Why haven’t you eaten?” he asks, concern obvious in his tone, his brow wrinkling as I lower myself back to my lounger.
“I’ve been busy.”
“Yeah,” he agrees, letting his eyes roam over my body. “Working on your tan, it seems.”
“I was actually working. Just…making the most of the weather.”
Finally, I unwrap my sandwich and take a small bite, achingly aware that he’s watching my every move.
He’s got sunglasses propped on his head; he could lower them and ogle me a little more discreetly, but for whatever reason, he’s choosing to do it openly.
I shouldn’t like it. I really shouldn’t.
But I’m not sure anyone has ever looked at me in the way he is, and I know for a fact that no one has ever gotten tongue-tied after seeing my body.
I can’t lie; his reaction is going a long way for my confidence.
“You’ve got a sweet place here. And this view…pretty sure I’d spend all my time out here if it were my home. Rylee would have loved it, too. She was obsessed with the ocean.”
The way he so easily talks about her makes my heart ache because I know how hard it is for him to do.
“What?” he asks when I don’t respond or do anything other than look at him. “Do I have mayo on my face?”
“No. I just…I’m proud of you, Hayden. What you’re going through is…really fucking hard, and I know what’s happening beneath the surface is different from what I’m seeing, but you’re doing it. You’re surviving, and it’s so fucking good to see you smiling.”
“Yeah, well. That swimsuit would have that effect on any man, Hails.”