Chapter 49
HAYDEN
“No,” Hailee complains, her grip on me tightening as I try to slip away.
“I promise, I’m not going anywhere, baby,” I say softly, brushing some hair back from her face.
Her makeup is everywhere from her tears. But it doesn’t matter. She’s the hottest panda I’ve ever seen.
She whimpers, and it fucking kills me.
I don’t know what caused her breakdown after what was hands-down the hottest experience of my life, but I have some ideas.
As much as she avoids talking about it, her past is holding her back.
All of this had everything to do with me talking over her earlier, her fear of not being heard, of being seen as nothing but a weak woman who was being controlled with puppet strings.
That’s not how I am, though. It’s not how I’ll ever be. And she’ll figure that out. In the meantime, I’ll show her exactly how it should be.
She’s the most important person in my life—her voice, her opinions, her everything matters to me. I don’t care how small she deems an issue to be, if it affects her, then it’s important to me, and I’ll listen and support her no matter what.
I just…I just need her to trust me enough to tell me everything.
It’ll happen. I know I’m being selfish.
This thing has only been going on for a few weeks. Despite how serious I am about her and my feelings for her, I know it’s early days. I’m just a selfish prick who wants it all now.
I’ve got the woman of my dreams, and I want everything with her. No holds barred.
Leaning over her, I press a kiss to her furrowed brow, holding my lips there until I feel the frown soften. Then I kiss the tip of her nose, and then her lips.
“I’m just going to the bathroom,” I explain.
“You’re coming back, right?”
I stare into her eyes, loving that she’s allowing herself to be vulnerable with me.
“You couldn’t pay me enough to stop me from coming back, Hails. Trust me, you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”
A contented smile pulls at her lips, and finally, she releases her grip on my waist and allows me to climb to my feet.
I stand there, my hand rubbing the back of my neck, staring down at her. She’s still wearing her dress, but it’s all ruched up around her waist, reminding me that she shamelessly handed me her panties in that club earlier.
As I think back over the events of the evening, I lick my lips, still able to taste her.
“Hayden?” she questions, her eyes rolling down my body to where my semi still bobs.
I can’t deny that I came close to coming all over the carpet as I ate her out earlier, but I didn’t. I held off in the hope of getting inside her.
Before I can stop her, she’s shuffled across the bed and her fingers close around me.
“Hails,” I grunt, pleasure shooting through my body.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“Hails,” I repeat, wrapping my fingers around her wrist, stopping her.
“B-but—”
“Never ever think that just because you got yours, I need mine. I fucking love getting you off. I’d do it every day of my life if I could, and I’d never get bored.” As much as it pains me, I peel her hand away.
It would be so easy to let her do what she thinks she needs to give me. But she doesn’t realize that just being here with her in her room, watching her walls begin to lower as she lets me in, means more to me than any hand job ever will.
“Let me take care of you,” I say, taking a step back. “There will be time for that later. Right now, it’s about you.”
A conflicted look flickers across her face.
“I…I don’t know how to let you do that,” she confesses.
“It’s easy,” I say with a smile as I reach over and wipe beneath her eye with the pad of my thumb. “You just have to trust me.”
She blinks up at me. She wants to fully trust me. To give herself over to me. But she’s scared. I get it. I really do.
“I’m proud of you,” I whisper, cupping her cheek.
Her brows pinch again.
“I-I haven’t—”
I press my fingers against her lips to stop her.
“Don’t think that I can’t see how hard all of this is for you. And I need you to know how grateful I am that you’re trying, that you’re willing to drop your walls and let me in. It means everything to me.”
She swallows, rolling her lips between her teeth.
“I know it’s going to take time, and I need you to know that I’m gonna be here for as long as it does.”
A smile twitches at her lips as she stares up at me, her eyes still glassy.
“Don’t go anywhere,” I warn as I finally step away from the bed. I walk backward through the room, keeping my eyes on her.
Fuck, she looks good in the middle of that bed with her dress around her waist.
The need to crawl back between her thighs and feast on her all over again burns through me. But as much as she might enjoy it, it’s not what she needs right now.
“Promise?” I ask, aware that she hasn’t agreed.
“Trust me, I’m not letting anyone but you see me like this.”
“Too fucking right. You’re mine, Hails. And I can’t wait until the rest of the world learns that.”
My words hang in the air as I disappear into the bathroom and set about getting it ready.
The sound of the water running fills the room a beat before I find the coconut-scented bath foam on the side.
I don’t hear her join me, and she scares the living shit out of me when I stand and turn after swirling the water around to check the temperature.
“Holy shit,” I gasp, my heart racing. “I told you to stay.”
“Clearly, I’m not as good at following orders as you are,” she quips with a smirk.
“I was going to come and get you.”
“Well, I’m here now,” she says, walking deeper into the room, taking me in before her eyes drift to the bath full of bubbles behind me.
“I know it’s nowhere near as good as your tub at home, but—”
“It’s perfect,” Hailee says, pressing the front of her body against mine, wrapping her hand around the back of my neck, and stretching up to kiss me.
“Mmm,” I moan, fully diving into the kiss.
My fingers dance up her bare arms, causing goose bumps to chase my touch before I get to the thin straps over her shoulders.
“Can I?” I ask once my fingers are tucked under the soft fabric.
“Yes,” she breathes into our kiss.
It doesn’t matter that I’ve seen her naked numerous times now; she still takes my breath away.
Cool air rushes over my legs as the fabric of her dress cascades to the floor. My eyes drop, and I find that she’s wearing a strapless bra.
“Oh, hell no,” I mutter, reaching around her back to unhook it.
It drops seconds later, and I groan at the sight of her bare before me.
Her nipples are hard, and her chest is heaving.
If I were to suggest carrying on from where we left off earlier, I have no doubt that she’d agree. But I don’t. Instead, I lift her feet from the floor and spin around, letting her legs lower into the water.
“How’s the temperature?”
“Perfect,” she breathes.
I lower her down into the bubbles and take a moment just to watch her.
I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to having her like this.
“Are you joining me?” she asks when I make no move to do so.
“In a few minutes,” I say before turning toward the counter, my eyes scanning her products that are neatly lined up in the order she uses them in.
I reach out, grabbing her eye makeup remover, cleanser, cotton pads, and one of her disposable cloths before carrying everything over.
“What are you doing?” she whispers as I pour some remover onto a pad.
“Taking care of you,” I muse as I move it closer to her face. “Close your eyes.”
“I can do that,” she argues, although she does as she’s told.
“Yeah, I know you can. But you don’t have to.”
Gently, I swipe the pad across her eye, cleaning away what’s left of her eye makeup before repeating the process on the other side.
I work silently as I pour some of her cleanser into my hand and then massage it into her skin.
“You’re good at this,” she confesses quietly.
“I had good training,” I explain, remembering all the times I put makeup on Rylee so she could feel normal for a little bit before taking it all off again. “I’m pretty good with face masks and slices of cucumber, too.”
“You must have been an incredible brother.”
“I just did whatever I could to make her life easier.”
“Everyone deserves a Hayden in their lives.”
“Well, lucky for you, you’re the only one who gets me.”
“I wish I could tell her how amazing you are.”
Emotion crawls up my throat.
“S-She’d have loved you,” I force out.
“She wouldn’t think I was a cougar corrupting her innocent brother?”
I can’t help but laugh. “She knew I had a massive crush on you. She’d be happy for us.”
“You’re cute.”
“She’d agree that you’re corrupting me, though. She always tried to live vicariously through me, but I didn’t really have any stories for her. She’d be loving all the things I could tell her now.”
“You…you’d tell her…everything?”
“You mean, would I have told my sister that I willingly crawled toward you and ate you out until you came all over my face?”
Her cheeks blaze red. “I can’t believe I told you to do that.”
“It was hot as hell. But to answer your question, no. I wouldn’t have gone into that kind of detail.”
“I don’t know what came over me.”
“I’m pretty sure it was you coming all over me,” I quip, earning myself a light slap to the shoulder.
“Seriously,” she continues as I wet the towel and begin patting her face. “I’ve never done anything like that before. I don’t…I don’t know where it came from.”
I hold her eyes, hoping that she can see in mine that it’s okay to use me to help try to figure it out.
After ensuring her face is clear, I push to my feet, dump the trash, and reach for her next round of bottles, ensuring I line them up along the edge of the bath in the correct order before I begin applying them, giving her the time she needs to process her thoughts.
“When you …” she starts as I squeeze a few drops of her retinol serum onto my fingers, ready to massage it into her skin. “Spoke for me…it…it triggered some feelings from my past.”
“I’m sorry, I never should have done that. It’s not an excuse, but I just hated the way he was looking at you, what he was insinuating.”
Hailee reaches out, resting her small hand on my forearm.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she assures me. “I know you weren’t speaking for me, overpowering, not really. I just hate losing my voice. It was smothered for so many years. I clearly don’t handle losing it again.”
“That’s understandable,” I tell her, switching to a bottle of hyaluronic acid. “I never, ever want to smother you or make you feel like your voice can’t be heard. I always want to hear you.”
“I know that. I do,” she assures me. “As much as I appreciate this, can you please get in here with me now?”
With a chuckle, I finish up, put all her bottles and potions back on the counter, and slip into the bathtub behind her. It’s a tight squeeze, but we make it work, and in only seconds, she’s back in my arms, exactly where she belongs.