Chapter 58
HAILEE
“That was fun,” I say sleepily from Hayden’s passenger seat as he drives us back to my place.
“Yeah, it was. We have good people.”
I can’t help but smile as I think back to all the kind words everyone said when we announced our relationship, all the congratulations, the well wishes and the promises to keep it under wraps from the press.
No one judged us, no one questioned what we were doing, and the only mention of the age gap between us was friendly teasing, which I can more than cope with.
The whole thing was incredible, and I felt like I belonged from the first moment everyone looked up and saw me.
The Vipers really are an incredibly supportive family who look after their own, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to become an even bigger part of it while standing at Hayden’s side.
“We really do,” I agree before a yawn overtakes me.
“Sleepy, baby?” Hayden teases as he glances over at me.
“I can’t remember the last time I spent that much time in the water. As a kid, I was such a water baby.”
“We should buy a house with a pool,” Hayden suddenly announces, rendering me speechless. “Not right now, of course. But at some point in the future. Once I’ve signed a new contract and hopefully paid off my parents’ debts.”
“That seems like it could be a while off.”
Hayden deflates. “Yeah, I guess. I’d have it all tomorrow if I could.”
“We are going to have it all,” I say confidently. “Just one step at a time.”
“One step at a time sounds perfect to me,” he says, lacing our fingers together and squeezing.
I don’t realize I drift off until Hayden says my name softly.
“Wake up, baby.”
My eyes fly open, and I quickly find myself staring at the wall of my parking garage.
“We’re home?”
Hayden chuckles. “Yeah. We’re home.”
Fuck. That sounds so good.
“Come on, we need to get showered, then you can crawl into bed and go back to sleep.”
“Mmm,” I groan, so ready to have him wrapped around me as I drift off.
Hayden climbs from his car and grabs our bags from the trunk while I try to get my legs to work.
I’m too slow, though, and before I can open the door and climb out, he’s there, holding out his hand and helping me to my feet.
He wraps his arm around my waist and guides me toward the elevator as if we’ve done it a million times before. But just when I think we’re going to walk straight past my car, his steps falter.
“Why don’t you ever drive her?” Hayden asks.
I close my eyes, pain searing through my chest.
“I can’t.”
“But you told me you have a license.”
“Yeah, I do. I just…I can’t drive.”
He steps in front of me and takes my face in his hands.
“Hails, have you driven since your brother died?”
“Uh…I’ve tried. But…but I can’t. The second I get in the driver’s seat, I freak out. I’m taken right back to that day. I can hear our screams, the crunch of metal as it crumpled around us, and the rattling of Spencer’s breath as he lost his fight.”
My hands tremble violently at my sides. I clench them to try to abate it, but nothing happens.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I bought the car because it was his favorite. I thought that maybe…” I let the words trail off. They don’t need saying. He understands. “But I can’t.”
He wipes the tears that have spilled free with his thumbs.
“I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that must be, but I’d really like to help you work through it, if and when you’re ready.”
I sniffle and nod. “I’d like that.”
I hate that I can be so strong and independent in so many aspects of my life, but just the thought of getting behind the wheel of a car brings me to my knees.
I’ve got this incredibly beautiful car that’s sitting here going to waste because I’m not brave enough to face my fear and work through my issues.
Maybe it would be different if I needed it, but I can either call a ride share or walk everywhere I need to go. I don’t have an excuse to even try, really. But maybe with Hayden sitting in the passenger seat, encouraging me…maybe, just maybe, I could start moving forward. Literally.
“Come on, let’s get you upstairs.” He presses a kiss to the tip of my nose before he pulls me into his side and guides me toward the elevator.
When we come to a stop, I look back at my car and make myself a promise.
One day soon, I will climb behind the wheel, and we’re going to go somewhere awesome.
We’re silent as we make our way up to my apartment, and the second we’re in, Hayden abandons our bags on the kitchen island and leads me to the bathroom. He works quickly to rid me of my bikini and shed his own clothes before he starts the shower and lets it warm before tugging me under.
The second the water rains down on us, I’m assaulted with memories from our first time standing here.
In reality, not much time has passed. But everything feels different. I feel different.
I feel stronger, settled, and so much happier.
Who knew that allowing myself to make friends and allow people into my life would make it so much more fulfilling?
“What are you smiling about?” Hayden asks.
“You. Today. Our friends. Everything, really.”
“Yeah?” he asks, his own smile growing.
“You’ve changed my life, Hayden Monroe, and I can’t imagine it any other way now.”
“That’s good, because I don’t plan on changing it now that I’m here.”
“Woohoo. Look at you,” Casey sings as she opens her front door to find me proudly wearing my Monroe jersey, with two bottles of wine clutched to my chest.
She told me not to bring anything, but turning up empty-handed didn’t feel right, so I picked these up before I left my apartment.
It’s the guys’ second game of the season tonight. I traveled with them for their first road game and watched proudly as they set the tone for the season and won four to zero.
Tonight, they’re on the road again, but I wasn’t scheduled to attend, and while I might have hated seeing Hayden off earlier this morning, I know that staying behind is the right thing to do.
Not only do I get the chance to miss him, but I get to catch up on work, and I get to spend time with the girls.
Man, that feels weird. Never in my life have I had a girl group, so to now have one at the age of thirty is a headfuck. I wouldn’t change it, though. I love every single thing about my life right now.
Casey rolls her eyes when she sees what’s in my arms. “I told you not to bring anything,” she chastises lightly.
“I know, I couldn’t help myself,” I explain as I follow her inside.
I’ve only been inside Casey and Kodie’s home once, and that was when we did the press release announcing their relationship.
At the time, it was a lovely home, really warm and welcoming, but it seems that since Casey has officially moved in, it’s only gotten better.
It’s softer, and there’s even more heart and love in here than there was before.
It’s the kind of home I’ve always secretly hoped for, and a vast cry from the one I grew up in. That was like a show home. Spencer and I were always terrified of messing it up as kids. And as we grew up, it was a place we hated being more and more.
“Oh my god, what is that smell?” I ask the second the scent of a million different spices hits my nose, making my stomach growl loudly.
“Ah, Freya went Indian for tonight. You should try her samosas; they’re to die for.”
My feet move a little faster, and in only seconds, I emerge into the kitchen and find the entire island covered in goodies.
“Wow,” I breathe, taking in all the colors and textures as the scent gets even stronger.
“I went a little overboard, as usual. I figure we can put whatever we don’t eat into containers for the boys tomorrow,” Freya explains. When I look up, I find her cheeks a little pink with embarrassment.
“This is incredible,” I tell her as I abandon my wine bottles on the counter before returning to the feast. “Can I?” I ask, my fingers already reaching for a samosa.
“Absolutely.”
I groan as I take a bite. The flaky pastry crumbles in the most incredible way before the heat coats my tongue.
“You’re okay with spice, right?” Freya asks a beat before it really hits.
“Uh-huh,” I mumble as a fire begins to rage in my mouth.
“Oh gosh,” Freya gasps before she starts filling a glass of water for me.
“It’s okay,” I assure her. “My face always goes bright red with heat; it’s really not affecting me that much.” Okay, so that might be a tiny lie. They’re really pretty spicy.
“That side are milder,” Freya points out.
“Great, I’ll try one of those next.”
Bea starts laughing the second she looks at my rosy face. “Had a spicy one, huh?” she asks, snagging one from the other side of the plate.
“Hailee,” a little voice says as Sutton comes running in behind Bea. Her face is also bright red, but I think that might have something to do with the hockey stick and ball in her hand.
“Hey, Sutton,” I greet with a smile. “Been training?” I ask.
“Always. Gotta beat those boys somehow,” she states, also stealing a samosa from the safe side of the plate.
“Hell, yeah,” Casey agrees. “I’ve put the tiles out in front of the TV,” she tells Sutton, who hisses a “Yes!” and races off again. “I thought I was obsessed as a kid, but Sutton is something else. Nothing is ever enough.”
“I reckon she’ll end up in the NHL one day,” I state confidently.
“But isn’t it a men’s league?” Bea asks. “She’ll play in the PWHL, right?”
“Technically, yeah,” I agree. “But times are changing. Women are making such huge strides in sports, I wouldn’t be surprised if we see some really significant shifts by the time Sutton is playing professionally.”
“That would be fucking incredible. Did you see the Seattle women’s team had a record turnout at their game the other week? Phenomenal,” Casey breathes. “I’ll do anything to raise awareness. Kodie, too.”
“Women are the future,” Bea says, holding her glass up for us to clink.
“Shit. Hails, you want wine?” Casey asks, realizing I don’t have a drink to join in.
“Whatever you’ve got open is good,” I say.