Chapter 64
HAYDEN
Ifall asleep listening to Hailee tap away on her laptop keyboard an hour or so after we get back from the restaurant.
She felt guilty for having to work, but she didn’t need to. I more than understand how important her job is, especially when it involves news of one of my best friends.
I have no idea what time she eventually turned off and went to sleep, but when we wake the next morning, she looks exhausted.
But we don’t have time to rest, and after a quick breakfast and yoga flow that we do side by side, we both head out—her to the arena, ready to deal with making the necessary announcements about Killer’s condition.
My stomach knots the second I walk into the hospital entrance. It doesn’t matter how many times I visit one or for what reasons, fear always rushes through my veins.
Over the years, I’ve spent hours sitting inside various wards, trying to keep Rylee smiling, all the while silently dying inside.
Watching someone you love more than anything suffer, and not knowing if it’s all going to be worth it in the long run, is the most torturous thing anyone can experience.
I have never felt as out of control or useless as I sat there at her bedside, or in a chair, as she was given various chemicals that were meant to give her more time. But all I could see was how sick they were making her.
Now that it’s all over, I like to think it was all worth it. Despite her being ill, we still had some great times together. I can’t think of it any other way or it’ll destroy me.
Rylee might never have achieved her dreams, but she saw me slay mine, and I have to believe that’s enough. She was so happy for me the day I signed my Entry Level Contract with the Vipers. If she had never had some of that treatment, she might not have seen that.
Shaking those thoughts from my head, I glance at the message from Rett letting me know where Killer is before pressing the button to call an elevator.
It only takes me a few minutes to locate his ward and then the room he’s in.
As I pass the nurses’ station, all eyes turn on me, watching my every step with interest.
Oh yeah, Killer is going to be treated like a king in here.
I knock on his door, but the second I open it, I discover that it wasn’t necessary; there’s no way he’s sleeping, because Rett and Linc’s booming laughter hits my ears.
Feeling a little more at ease knowing that they’re here, I march inside and join them.
The sight of Killer lying in a hospital bed and tucked under stark white sheets gives me pause. But I recover quickly. The last thing he needs right now is to be worrying about anyone else. His recovery should be his top priority.
“Hey, man,” I say, holding my fist out to bump his.
“Hey,” he says, his voice rough as if he hasn’t been awake long.
“So, what’s so funny?” I ask, instead of diving into all the medical crap. Hailee has given me as much information as she can, and that, along with some Googling, is enough to give me a good idea of what we’re looking at here.
I was right last night that immediate surgery is good.
It should help speed up his rehab, but he’s still looking at a minimum of nine months before he can even consider being back with us.
And by then, the season will be over. But, if his rehab goes well, it could mean that next season he’ll be back with us.
Fuck, I hope so. It isn’t going to be the same without him.
“Killer trying to chat up the nurse,” Linc states.
“She was interested.”
“Trust us, she was far from interested.”
“Because I’m her patient. But I’ll be discharged later, and then it’ll be a different story,” Killer says confidently.
“Sure. You leave her your number, and we’ll see who’s right when she tosses it in the trash and never calls.”
“You know, you’re being really fucking negative. My entire season has just been fucked up; you should be sending me positive vibes,” Killer sulks, giving Rett and Linc his best pout.
“You’re probably right,” I add. “She was just being professional. She’ll probably ask for your address so she can be your personal nurse later and give you a special bed bath.”
“See, that’s the kind of thing I need to hear,” Killer says, grinning at me.
The conversation turns to last night’s game, and ultimately to Cooper Nash.
“Kodie is still savage this morning, apparently,” Linc says. “Casey sent a voice note ranting that he won’t let it go.”
“Does anyone know what went down with them?” I ask, still curious as fuck.
“Nope. Kodie’s never said anything. Just that he can’t stand the guy. I guess we all have a reason not to like him now.”
A ripple of anger and frustration goes through the room.
“This is fucking bullshit,” Killer snaps. “I’m out, and the hot nurse doesn’t even want me.”
“Oh, so you’re admitting it now?” Rett teases, earning a death glare.
“What if no women want me now that I’m broken?” Killer continues.
“That’ll never happen. They’ll all be flocking to you for the chance to be that nurse Monroe described.”
“I fucking hope so. I refuse to be injured and sexless. It’s just not happening.”
We stay with Killer until we’re needed at the arena. While his season might be over, the rest of us still have a game against San Diego to prepare for. And without him, things just got a hell of a lot harder.
“What do you think Coach is going to do?” Rett asks as we make our way out of the hospital.
“No idea,” Linc mutters. “We’ve got options, but will he want some fresh meat?”
“You think he might get a trade?” Rett asks, clearly concerned about who he’s going to be partnered with for the rest of the season.
It’s not just Killer’s absence that’ll give us issues going forward; if Rett ends up paired with someone he doesn’t gel with, it’s going to fuck up our entire defense.
“Coach will make the right decision,” I say confidently.
“Killer isn’t listening; we can drop the positive comments now,” Rett says, sounding a little too much like his old grumpy self.
“Monroe’s right,” Linc says. “We gotta trust Coach to know what he’s doing.”
Coach works us ruthlessly for the next three days.
We don’t get any kind of clue as to what he’s planning, but between him and our defensive coach, they put each of us through our paces.
I always give one hundred percent, but knowing that we’re one of our best men down means I give even more.
And every night, I’m on my knees. Not literally, because they hurt too much to be on them.
Every night, I’ve gone back to Hailee’s, and she’s run me a bath before wrapping me in ice packs and delivering me food. Depending on how her day has gone, sometimes they’re homemade, and if she’s been busy, she orders us takeout.
Even though we’re both exhausted and mostly just slump on her couch or in bed together, she’ll still be working while I watch the TV or read my book, but I love being with her. There’s something so soothing about her presence.
Despite not feeling ready to head out again, when my alarm goes off before the sun rises, I don’t waste any time in throwing the covers off and crawling out of bed. I can’t stay in there; there’s too big a risk I’ll get distracted by the hot body sleeping next to mine.
“No,” she groans, reaching for me.
“Go back to sleep, baby,” I whisper.
She was up late working last night, and like most nights, I fell asleep long before she’d finished.
“But you won’t be back until late,” she pouts, although her eyes stay closed.
“At least it’s today,” I say softly, leaning over to kiss the tip of her nose.
“Not soon enough,” she whines.
“You'll be so busy, you won’t even notice. If you’re bored, you can always go hang out with Killer. He’s already going stir crazy.”
She smirks, finally cracking an eye open. “Not sure I’ll get that bored,” she quips.
“You love him really,” I tease. “Now go back to sleep. You’ve got hours before you need to be in.”
“Good luck tonight,” she mumbles, snuggling deeper into the sheets.
A sad laugh spills from my lips. “We’re gonna need it.”
“You’ve got this, baby. I have faith in all of you.”
So do I. I just don’t want to jinx it by saying it out loud.
I get myself dressed as quickly and as quietly as I can before pressing a soft kiss on Hailee’s head and slipping out of her apartment.
I stop on the way to the arena to grab coffee and breakfast, but I’m disappointed when I bite into the cinnamon roll.
Firstly, because it’s not as good as mine.
Yep, I’m getting that big-headed over my baking skills now.
But also, the last time I ate one was with Hailee on her balcony as the sun set a few nights ago.
Having this one as I rush to the airport without her just isn’t the same.
I find Rett and Linc pulling their luggage from the trunk of Linc’s car.
“Ready for this?” Rett asks once I’ve joined them.
“Yeah, we’ve got this.”
It’s not the first time we’ve had teammates miss games, and it won’t be the last. But this is the first time I’ve had a friend out of action with such a serious injury.
I guess it’s something I really need to get used to.
Assuming I’m going to have a long career, it’s something I’m going to see over and over.
We go inside for morning skate and team meetings before we make our way to the bus to head to San Diego for our game tonight.
I sneak up to see if Hailee is free before we leave so I can get my fix, but the second I step into her office, Maisie informs me that she’s in a meeting, and I leave with my tail between my legs.
I shoot her a message to let her know that we’re leaving, but it takes hours for her to respond.
The bus ride is pretty quiet compared to normal. It doesn’t do anything for my anxiety over tonight’s game.
We can do it. I know we can. But more than anything, I want to do it for Killer.
Sitting at home while we play must fucking suck. The last thing he needs is to feel any guilt because we lost without him.
But also…is it just as bad if we win? Will he think that we don’t need him?
“I can hear the cogs in your head turning,” Linc says, leaning over the aisle toward me.
“Just thinking about tonight,” I confess quietly. Not that anyone else is paying me any attention. Beside me, Brody has his headphones in and is in full pre-game mode.
“It’s gonna be you, know you,” he whispers back.
“What’s gonna be me?” I ask, my heart rate picking up at just his suggestion alone.
Of course, we’ve been debating what our starting lineup tonight is going to be for days. My name has been brought up a few times, but I’ve always waved it off. I’m in my second year. There are guys on the team with so much more experience than me who’ve been fighting for that spot for years.
Do I want it? Do I want to stand beside my hero at the start of a game? Fuck, yeah, I want it. But I’m also realistic and refuse to allow myself to hope. Getting out on the ice for games has already been a big enough challenge this season. I’m not sure I’ll cope with the added pressure.
“On the starting line-up. Unless Coach has pulled some secret trade out of his ass, you’re his only option.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“Just you wait and see,” he says with a wink before sitting back and pulling his cell from his pocket.
I try to ignore his words, but I can’t deny that they take root. But while hope is starting to flicker despite my best attempts to dampen it, unease is right behind it.
The drive to San Diego seems to take forever, and when we get there, I wish I had tried to get some sleep, but instead, I sat there spinning different scenarios around my head for how tonight is going to go.
We collect our things and head inside the arena. We’re almost at the visitors’ dressing room when someone steps up beside me.
I glance over, and my heart lurches at the sight of Coach looking back at me.
“Can I have a word?” he asks.
“Uh…yeah. Sure.”
I follow him to a small office a little farther down the hallway and loiter on the other side of a desk while he drops into the seat on the other side and rests his elbows on the top.
“Take a seat, Hayden,” he commands.
“I…um…” It takes a second, but I finally lower my ass to the chair.
“How are you doing?”
“Um…yeah. I’m okay. Thanks for asking, Coach.”
“You seem to be doing better, but I know better than anyone that a good mask can cover a multitude of sins.”
It’s no secret that Coach lost his wife quite a few years ago—Casey’s mom. I might have just lost my twin sister, but I can’t imagine how you even begin to rebuild a life without the person you’d planned to spend it all with.
“Things…are getting easier. Hailee helps.”
He smiles. “I’m sure she does. You’ve managed to snag a good one there.”
“I have,” I agree.
“So…” he starts, making my heart pound. “I wanted to talk to you before I make the announcement.”
“O-Okay,” I say hesitantly.
“I’m putting you in the starting lineup tonight. You think you can handle it?”
All the air comes rushing from my lungs.
Linc was right.
“I…um…” I drag my hand down my face, unable to stop my lips from curling up. My parents are here again tonight, and…and they’re going to get to hear my name announced to start the game.
Fuck. This is the thing of dreams.
But…Hailee’s not here.
“I might need extra minutes to make my call,” I blurt.
“I think I can allow that, as long as you bring the energy you’ve shown during practice this week.”
“I-I can do that,” I confirm as my stomach turns over with nerves.
Holy shit. Can I do that?
I reach for my pocket, my cell burning to tell the most important person in my life.