Chapter 3
MADDIE
“Maddie, wait,” Matt sighed. He sat on the bed, but he wasn’t getting in next to me. Or climbing on top of me like I wanted.
“What?” I whined.
“I don’t have a condom.”
I groaned. “Seriously?”
“Sorry. Wasn’t expecting this tonight. We could do more oral?”
I was tired of oral sex.
I loved oral, giving, or receiving, but I didn’t want to be a horny virgin anymore. I wanted to get railed by a man while he growled in my ear, letting him take me until I was screaming his name. I wanted to be held down on the bed while he nailed me from behind.
“I want to have sex,” I growled.
He sighed in equal frustration. “I always wrap it up.”
I pulled the cover over me. Now that we wouldn’t have sex, I felt self-conscious being naked around him. “You’re right. Being safe’s important. But I want to finally get laid.”
He turned back to me with a dark eyebrow raised, his brown eyes searching mine. I had been so focused on getting it in that I hadn’t noticed his whiskey-colored eyes or how nice they looked when the light hit them at the right time. Right now, they were wide with terror.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
I bit my lip. “I’ve never…you know.”
“What?”
“Had sex. Penetrative sex, at least. I’ve been finger blasted and eaten out a lot.”
His face paled and he climbed off the bed in a hurry. I sat up in alarm and watched him put his clothes back on in a hurry.
“Matt?”
“I…I’m sorry, Maddie.”
“You’re gonna leave?” I cried.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not gonna take your virginity.”
“Why not?”
“You should reserve that for someone special!”
“Why should I do that?”
Why did people think virginity was this sacred thing? I wanted to get it over with, and it didn’t matter who it was with. I had no illusions that Matt and I would fall madly in love after one night; I would have been content with never seeing him again.
“If you waited this long, you should save it for someone who means something,” he explained.
I rolled my eyes. Again with the idea of virginity being something special. “My brother drives away every single guy I’m interested in. I want to get it over with.”
He frowned. “Wait, which brother? I thought you had three?”
I shook my head. “No, just the one. It’s great being constantly known as ‘Noah Kennedy’s baby sister.’ ‘Don’t go out with Maddie Kennedy. Her brother might drop the gloves on you.’ It’s been super fucking great.”
He looked green. “Your brother’s Noah Kennedy?”
“Yeah? Who did you think I was?”
“Fuck me,” he sighed and rubbed a hand across his clean-shaven jaw. “I thought you were Dinah’s little sister. No wonder Noah was staring daggers at me.”
“You thought I was Dinah’s little sister? Why? Because we both have dark hair? Are you serious?”
How could he think Dinah was my sister? Sure, we were both white girls with dark hair, but I was tan and lanky, whereas Dinah was petite and paler than a ghost. He did come off as a cocky hockey player, though, and sometimes they didn’t pay that much attention. That was mean, but I was a jock, and I recognized that some of us…fulfilled the stereotype.
He pulled his pants back on, and I wanted to cry that he was rushing out of here—not because we didn’t have a condom, but because I was his teammate’s virgin sister. Why did I let that slip?
He didn’t say goodbye. He let the door slam behind him as he literally ran away from me.
At least he made me come when he went down on me. That was better than nothing.
I lay in the bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about how my life got to this point. Would I ever get out of the shadow of my older brother? Probably not. Maybe moving to the same city as him wasn’t the best idea.
I let tears roll down my cheek. I understood why Matt freaked out about Noah being my brother. It was the same story I’d dealt with my whole life. No guy wanted to break the stupid hockey code. It didn’t mean I couldn’t be pissed about it.
I let myself wallow for a bit until I decided I wasn’t going back downstairs. I had grabbed my purse off the back of the chair before we snuck up here, so there was no need to return. I changed into my pajamas and checked my phone.
I saw a ton of notifications for Instagram. Earlier, I forced Dinah to let me post a selfie together on her profile. I loved Dinah, and she was a talented writer, but the admin stuff, like posting on her socials, was not her forte. I, however, had amassed a big following in the book community, so I was trying to teach her my ways.
I scanned down the list of comments on her post.
Can’t wait for your next book!
OMG you look amazing!
OMG is that MaddieKReads?!?
I logged out of her account and went to my own, where I reposted the photo and wrote my own caption.
Not so secret secret for you all! You know that one of my fave authors is Dinah Lace, but she’s also my new sister-in-law. I don’t know what she sees in my brother, but I love them both so much.
Almost instantly, I saw a text come through from said writer.
DINAH: Your brother’s asking where you went, but I just saw Cally come back into the ballroom and then flee.
ME: I don’t want to talk about it. Tell Noah I wasn’t feeling well.
She didn’t answer, so I thought that meant she had dropped it until ten minutes later when there was a knock at my door. I sighed and opened it, only for it to be pushed open by a meddling bride and her two friends.
Rox held up a bottle of whiskey, and Fi pulled red solo cups from out of nowhere. Who were these women?
“Spill!” Rox demanded while she poured large cups for us. I took it from her and sat back on the bed.
“What are you all doing up here?” I grumbled.
“What happened?” Fi asked.
Dinah gave them a look, and she sat next to me. She pulled me into her arms and gave me a big hug. I leaned into her, and the floodgates opened up. The tears of frustration spilled out while my new sister-in-law rubbed my back and told me it was going to be okay.
I pulled away and wiped the tears away.
Rox looked pissed off. “What the fuck did he do?”
“Down girl!” Fi laughed and took a swig of her whiskey.
I chugged mine, too. “I’m gonna die a virgin.”
Dinah blinked at me while Rox and Fi shared an amused look. “Come again?” my sister-in-law asked.
“We didn’t have a condom?—”
“You didn’t go without, right?” Rox cut me off. “You should always wrap it up.”
“Paranoid,” Fi teased.
“Looking out for the girl,” Rox explained with a glare.
Dinah shushed them. “Maddie… I didn’t realize you weren’t experienced. I wouldn’t have encouraged you to hook up with Cally had I known.”
“Why not?” I cried and gulped down more of my whiskey.
Dinah pursed her lips. “Your first time should be special.”
Fi snorted. “My first time was a quickie with Riley in my parents’ basement. It doesn’t have to be special, D.”
“True,” Rox agreed. “Pretty sure I got fucked in the backseat of a car. Or was it underneath the bleachers? I forget. But it wasn’t great.”
“I want to have sex!” I exclaimed.
Rox busted up laughing. “Holy shit! I forgot that you’re not all timid and shit like Noah.”
I laughed with her. “It’s not like I’m completely innocent. I’m pretty good at blowies.”
That made all of them laugh.
Rox put her hands up in the air. “Okay, hold up. Let’s discuss this. So you’ve had oral sex?”
I nodded. A lot of oral sex. Always got to third base but never got to run home. Which never made sense to me. These guys were so afraid of my brother, they didn’t want to deflower me, but they were fine with me giving them head. Men had weird logic.
“That’s still sex,” Rox said. “Virginity’s a social construct, and it’s heteronormative to assume sex only means with a dick in a pussy.”
“Okay…” I agreed with her. “But I want to get railed by a hot guy who knows how to use his dick.”
Dinah snorted. “I love how ridiculous you are.”
I pinched her side. “Because you’re exactly the same way.”
“Yeah, this is the girl that says ‘Eat pussy. Don’t cheat’ when the boys ask for dating advice,” Rox said with a laugh.
Dinah shrugged. “What? Am I wrong?”
“NOPE!” the other two cheered.
I was pretty sure my sister-in-law was a little drunk. Drunk Dinah was hilarious and said inappropriate things. I loved that my quiet and serious brother got this loud-mouth Philly girl to bring him out of his shell. I especially loved that she wasn’t afraid to say what she was thinking.
“But maybe D’s right. You don’t have to force it. Did you have a good time with Cally?” Fi asked.
I nodded. “He’s bomb at eating pussy.”
“To men who are superb muff divers!” Rox cheered and raised her cup.
“Eat pussy…” Dinah started and raised her cup, too.
“And don’t cheat,” Fi finished and repeated the action.
“To men who know how to find the clit!” I chimed in.
“Hell yeah!” Rox laughed and downed her cup. “You want another?”
I shook my head and tossed back the rest of the drink. Rox was liberal with the pouring. Supposedly, she could drink the entire hockey team under the table. She was the coolest.
“Okay, so you had a good time, and you didn’t find a condom, then what? He left?” my sister-in-law asked. Her mouth was a thin line, and that meant she was on edge about this situation.
I shook my head. “Accidentally spilled the beans, then he freaked out, and oh, he thought we were sisters.”
“Ohhh. It’s about the code,” Rox said while she refilled her cup.
“Bullshit code,” Dinah muttered. “Honey, I talked to your brother about letting you make your own choices. I know he’s protective, but at least you only have one brother and not three like I do. I reminded Noah about that.”
“Does he know I went off with Matt?” I asked.
I didn’t want Matt to suffer because my brother thought it was his duty to protect me against every dude who wanted to stick their dick in me. As if I wasn’t a sexual being who wanted that.
“Nah. They had a quickie in the bathroom, so Noah was none the wiser,” Rox explained and downed another swig of her whiskey.
“Rox!” Dinah hissed.
The curvy woman shrugged. “What? That’s literally what you told us. Gleefully, I might add.”
Fi laughed. “She’s got you there. You were all like, ‘brB, bitches, I’m gonna go get my pussy licked.’ ”
Dinah swatted Fi’s arm, but the redhead darted away from her. I really liked these women and how they ragged on each other. It reminded me of my friends back home.
“She doesn’t want to know that,” Dinah scolded her bestie.
I made a fake gagging sound in my throat, but I was happy that my brother found someone who knew how to take the reins. Noah might look like a badass alpha male on the ice, but he was timid and unsure of himself with women. Which was probably why it took him two whole years to put the moves on his now-wife. I was glad he finally did and met this woman who said what she was thinking and didn’t care what anyone thought of her.
Dinah squeezed my hand. “Sorry, honey.”
Fi gestured to my pajama-clad state. “What’s this all about?”
“I’m up here for the night.”
Fi shook her head. “Nope. Get your ass out of the bed, put your bridesmaid dress back on, and Rox will fix your make-up.”
“Why?” I whined.
Fi arched a red eyebrow at me. “Honey, we’re all gonna go back downstairs and have a good time so you can forget about Cally bailing on you.”
Dinah gave me a smile that said ‘What can you do?’ I sighed and got back into my bridesmaid dress, even though I didn’t want to go with them.
“You’re all pushy,” I sighed.
The three of them shared a conspiratorial look.
“Hurry up!” Dinah urged. “It’s my wedding, and I want you to have fun tonight.”
“Come on, have another drink with us downstairs,” Rox nagged.
Having these three women egg me on made me hope I’d find a similar friend group once I got to Franklin. This year was supposed to be a fresh start. As soon as I got to school, I’d forget all about Matt and this disastrous night. It wasn’t like I’d run into him all the way in West Philly. But first, I was getting shit-faced with my sister-in-law.