6. Chapter 6
Chapter six
LOGAN
I twist around and throw a pillow at whoever is snoring their goddamn ass off, someone yelling a sorry before turning over and starting up that god-awful racket again. Being back in the States is fantastic but fuck I can’t live in bunk beds with my buddies anymore.
For as much as I love them, I need my own room and my own little place of solace.
Home though, consists of trekking back to Nevada and living near family that doesn’t give a fuck about my existence.
Small-town living doesn’t suit me anymore, especially with the few exes I most definitely left behind when I signed up for the military.
My mother was and still is the exception, summers spent in her cute little house just a state over. I never did find out why her and Dad divorced but it doesn’t matter. She’s the only one that still cares enough to call and check up on me and in my book, that’s all I need.
Stifling a pitiful chuckle, I slip out of the room that a lot of us use when we return before going back home.
The clinic here is one of the better ones, catering to veterans who need a place to stay or need medical attention without the formalities of being on base.
The doctors are all individuals who have spent time overseas, all of them understanding in some part what we have been through.
Having Kurt’s brother on staff helped get me a room with only four guys rather than the usual eight but fuck I can’t do it anymore.
“Can’t sleep either?”
I look over to my right as I exit the room, Declan leaning against the wall, clad only in a pair of loose sweats.
He’s always been carefree like that, the fucker waltzing around barefoot at camp like he owns the desert.
Trust that man to get you through any kind of disaster though.
His aim is impeccable and his split-second reactions have saved my ass a time or two.
However, his snarky ass sets people off because they can’t vibe with it.
He can make a joke about someone’s mother while chucking a knife half a mile and hitting a bull’s eye. He is insane but he’s family.
“No,” I finally reply, taking up space beside him. I squint at his lips, frowning when a small white stub comes into view. “You can’t fucking smoke in here.”
He chuckles. “I’m not.” He begins chewing the thing and pulls out another before handing it to me. “Just candy but it makes me feel badass. Even better in the winter when I can pretend I’m actually smoking.” He pretends to blow out smoke, chuckling at his own damn joke.
That doesn’t even make any sense. Declan doesn’t have a problem smoking and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t ever smoked a cigarette before.
I push his hand away, staring at the opposite wall, just content to be back.
The eerie chill of the hallway sends shivers down my back as we stand there.
Of course, until Declan just has to start talking again.
“So… Noah grew up.”
My face warms at that, remembering the moments I spent in his bedroom earlier this evening.
We don’t know each other like we used to.
It’s been nearly a decade since college and yet, he’s never really left my thoughts.
He’s patched me up a few times before the last deployment and after learning he had gotten married, I stuffed away the lingering feelings.
However, in his room, I could see the demons he was trying to fight, and even if I didn’t know why, I could see that he was losing control.
“So?” I know my late response is cause for concern because Declan peers over at me, waiting for more information.
I share everything with my team, well, almost everything.
Spending twenty-four hours a day for three years with three other guys has brought us together in a way that most families would be jealous of, however, there are some things I keep to myself.
Like the pain on Noah’s face as he stared at the empty glass, testing himself during a battle that he didn’t need to have.
“It was like pulling teeth. Something’s going on.
I know that. You know that. Hell, Sebastian knows that.
Kurt’s the only one who’s dumb enough not to know or ask if he even did.
” I run a hand down my face, a groan following the gesture.
“I’m not sure what I expected when we got back but I thought I dealt with the feelings.
And yet, it’s like we’re back in college all over again, those bright brown eyes and that charming smile he’d always give us like he was tempting us on purpose. ”
Declan grins, his mind most likely going back to the first night we spent together, a rather drunken one that ended with the three of us in bed together. I hadn’t been surprised and strangely enough, I wasn’t even jealous. Almost getting caught though had been terrifying.
***
The morning after a party is always the worst, but somehow I don’t even fucking care because I am wrapped around the sweetest, most precious guy on the entire fucking campus.
Unfortunately, I’d die if his brother found out.
We haven’t even fucked; the body on the opposite side of Noah is the one who did all the hard work.
I only slipped in hours later, needing a place to rest my head, and was enthusiastically invited to make a man sandwich. I’m pretty sure I kissed Noah at some point, his soft lips against mine, his body molded against every ridge of my body until the only thing I wanted was to hold him forever.
My alarm goes off, and I silence it, wanting a few more minutes of peace until a call comes through. And then a text. And then another. Grunting, I look at the screen and then freak out a little, frantically shoving Declan curled up against Noah’s back.
“Fuck, we gotta go.”
He groans. “What the fuck for? Thought I might get some more time in.” His lips dip to Noah’s neck, the guy arching just slightly. Fuck, he’s adorable.
“Not happening. Kurt’s on his way to the dorms.”
We had all ended up at the local university, and Declan and I have both pledged to the same fraternity as Noah.
It splits up our time a bit, but Kurt is still our best friend.
He expects that we take care of Noah, but in no circumstances would he be okay with this current arrangement.
The brothers are just a few years apart, but that has kind of been an unspoken rule—stay away from Noah.
Unfortunately, a mixture of drinks and Noah’s sexy little pout had us pouncing.
He didn’t mind it yesterday and there was no way I was giving up the chance.
But now that my head’s clear, I realize that none of us have been smart about our choices.
I look down at Noah between us, the guy growing a little uneasy.
“Kurt’s coming? You have to go… if he finds you here—”
I know this moment isn’t going to happen again as he climbs over me and stumbles his way to his dresser, slipping a pair of pants on.
With a sigh, I dress as well, Declan taking his sweet time before meandering over to Noah and stealing another kiss.
It’s slow and sweet and I don’t miss the way Noah chases Declan’s touch.
“What was that for?” he asks.
Declan smiles, pressing another kiss to Noah’s forehead. “Just so you don’t forget me.”
***
We had been halfway down the first flight of stairs when we ran into Kurt, the man joking that we don’t have to rush.
He brought up Noah and we expertly maneuvered him to the diner across the street from campus, telling him that breakfast was on us.
It had been a close call but one we’ve never brought up again.
Until now.
And after seeing Noah last night, it brought up some of those lingering feelings. Though, I am pretty sure he doesn’t remember that night or has blocked it out of his mind.
“So? You gonna tell me what happened up there?” Declan muses, stuffing another one of those candy cigarettes into his mouth.
“He’s going through a rough time.” I run my hands through my hair, not wanting to rehash the few details Sebastian slipped me before telling me that Noah was safe. “His best friend took his own life and Heath is gone.”
Declan pushes off the wall. “Ronny’s gone? Fucking hell and Heath? I never liked that fucker anyway.” I had no idea he even knew about Ronny but it seems that we all kept some kind of tabs on Noah.
My friend’s eyes darken a few shades as he angrily crunches on the rest of his candy, his fists tightening at his sides.
I don’t expect that reaction because while Heath never fit into our mold, I didn’t particularly have any thoughts about him.
“Something you want to share with the class?” I ask, turning to face the guy.
“Just that Heath didn’t treat Noah very well. Shit, don’t look at me like that. That black eye before we left—”
Declan doesn’t even finish his sentence before I whip around and thrust him against the wall, squeezing his neck roughly. “The fuck did you say? Heath was—fuck—abusing Bunny?”
I release him immediately, stumbling back, realizing two things. One, those lingering feelings definitely haven’t gone anywhere, despite how many times I have tried to kick them to the curb.
And two, I just uttered our pet name for Noah aloud.
It had been a stupid, silly thing in college, the way that Noah was all wide-eyed and soaked up every bit of information he could.
He was so easily excited with a damn smile that could light up the room.
I think we called him that once or twice before our connection fizzled out and we started spending more time with Kurt.
Declan blinks a few times and then lets out a deep breath. “We’re in deep shit, aren’t we?”
“No,” I spit out.
“Yeah, ok. Says the guy who said our sacred word out loud. Kurt’s going to have a heart attack.”
My eyes widened. “You’re not going to tell him.”
“Excuse me? That’s his brother!”
I shake my head, knowing that if we spill all this shit to Kurt, including that we are in love with his brother, we’ll all be on the fast track to hell.
Not to mention that I have no idea how Noah is going to cope with all this shit.
He is barely coping now. This probably goes against bro code and every unspoken rule in the book, but I’m leaning on the side of not caring.
“We’re not telling Kurt anything. We talk with Noah, figure out where we stand, and then he can share that shit by himself.
I’m not ruining him like that. Don’t ask, Declan.
You didn’t see the pain in his face when I went upstairs.
He’s had his heart broken one too many times, and fuck, I’m not going to add to that list.”
Declan nods and I step back, silently apologizing but he just shrugs it off.
“I do wonder how he’s going to take all this, though.
Telling him that three men are in love with him?
Did you not think about that part? Because Beast is currently with him and whatever we had in college, while we might want to restart where we left off, I’m not entirely sure Noah is a three-man kind of guy. ”
I hadn’t really thought about that aspect.
It just always made sense in my head. Sebastian, Declan, and I do almost everything together.
Whether it’s circling Kurt, trying to find a house together, or thinking about the forbidden fruit—our best friend’s little brother.
Never in all that did it occur to me that Noah might not be ready for what we’re offering.
But hell, I’m hoping he is.