20. Chapter 20
Chapter twenty
NOAH
We make our way out into the parking lot, Declan leaning against a rental. He holds out his arms much the same way Logan did and I gratefully fall into him, his lips pressed to my temple. “Fuck, Noah, you really scared the shit out of us.”
The ride back to my house is silent except for asking them what happened to staying at the clinic.
Logan doesn’t answer until we’re upstairs in my bedroom.
“Noah, as much as we’re grateful for that space, not entirely sure I want to discuss all this bullshit around them.
Not to mention that it seems like word’s gotten out about the scheme from some of the whispers I’ve heard and not everyone believes the three of us—or you—are entirely innocent.
I’d have gone to Sebastian’s room but thought you might want a little familiarity and since Kurt is god knows where, I thought it was safe. ”
I plop onto my bed, nodding. “Wonderful. Oh, hey, one of the doctors mentioned that people are talking about how your group split up? They said Kurt was at the bar with other guys. I’m not sure I smoothed it over, but…
I think my brother might be doing damage control in his own twisted way.
” It feels awful knowing how fast Kurt threw away his buddies.
Declan sits beside me, shrugging. “I should probably feel terrible, but it makes it easier to explain we weren’t a part of it if he’s ditching us.” He leans in to nuzzle my cheek, his thoughts obviously somewhere else but interrupted by my phone.
I swear to god if it’s Heath or Kurt, I’m going to kill someone. Not bothering to look at the screen, I pick it up. “Yeah?”
“Is that how you talk to your Lieutenant?”
I clear my throat, sitting up straighter. “Sorry, no. Sir. I—sorry.”
A chuckle meets my stuttered response. “Calm down, Noah. You’re not in any trouble. Well, depends on how you look at it. Your name came across my desk for an assignment. They need a doctor, and you’re the only qualified individual available.”
I don’t even ask for details as he drones on, my entire body shutting down.
I don’t want to go back, not after the last time.
I also don’t know why I’m being asked now of all times.
For a moment, I think it’s someone looking out for me the same way like Sebastian’s Sarge did for them but then I wouldn’t be sent overseas.
They’d find a local position and stuff me into a corner that Kurt wouldn’t be able to reach.
Sudden sounds above a certain decibel set me off.
It’s why my office is far away from the surgical unit and the psychiatric ward.
The worst part is that I have no idea what will actually set me off.
It always seems to happen at the most inconvenient times but going back overseas? I wouldn’t be able to escape it.
“Noah? Did you hear me? You’re supposed to report at the beginning of the week, son.”
I mutter something agreeable, enough for him to hang up and leave me in shock. There’s no fucking way this deployment is a coincidence. If Kurt and Heath have the power to fuck with this part of our lives, there’s no doubt in my mind that this is part of it.
And now he’s not just threatening me, but his best friends. Dragging their names through the mud was one thing but sending me away is a different thing entirely. Not to mention that it just cements how much he cares for me.
None.
None at all.
I wonder if this happened at some point or it’s always been like this.
If I’ve clung to some sense of family and he’s never seen me like that.
All those excited ‘hey little bro’s’ fall flat now because I can’t tell where this version of my brother started, and I hate the fact that maybe I never really had one to begin with.
Once again, I want to know why.
Some part of me wants to stomp over to that pub and demand answers, the other part is terrified that I might have to pack up this weekend and hope for the best.
Logan sits on my other side, squeezing my thigh, dragging me back to reality. “Okay, so, care to tell us what has you looking like a ghost?”
“My lieutenant called. They need a doctor and I fly out Monday.”
“The fuck?” Declan exclaims. “Your file doesn’t even say active duty. Sorry, I peeked when working through everything with Heath. Checked everything I could get my hands on.”
“Which means Kurt is making his move.” I sigh.
“This is bullshit, you know? Why couldn’t I have a normal brother?
One that just get angry at me for sleeping with his friends?
Where’s that brother?” A bitter laugh escapes me as I pull off my shirt, Logan and Declan just staring at me.
“I’m going to sleep to avoid absolutely everything at this moment.
Maybe the world will be a little nicer when I get up. ”
Sleeping in the middle of the day isn’t the best idea I’ve had, but it’ll help me avoid thinking and that sounds like a great thing. There’s another activity that would take my mind off things but I’m not sure I could enjoy it the way I desperately want to. So… nap it is.
Neither one of them protest.