33. Chapter 33
Chapter thirty-three
DECLAN
I sit at the kitchen table, my hands flat on the worn wood, staring at a cold cup of coffee that’s been sitting there for hours, its surface dull under the dim light.
Logan’s across from me, his jaw tight, and Sebastian’s beside him, his bulk slouched, both of them quiet, brooding.
Noah told us he was going to bed ages ago and now it’s just us three, the air heavy with the shit we’re wading through.
We’re trying to figure out the best plan of attack, something to claw Noah out of this mess Kurt’s dumped on him, but the only option we have left is the one that might end up with me in deep shit. After all, Ed did say not to try anything.
Logan leans forward, his elbows on the table as he gaze flicks to me. “We both know Declan’s the best man for this, but it’s also the most dangerous option.”
I nod, my mind drifting back to the missions with Kurt, the shit we pulled—dark, fucked-up things I’d never touch in my right mind.
Breaking into supply caches, fudging reports, leaning on people who didn’t deserve it—all Kurt’s ideas, his orders, and I followed, loyal like a damn dog until I wasn’t.
Those memories churn—I can’t even truly say I was young and stupid—but they’re an in, a crack Logan and Sebastian don’t have.
They’re loyal to a fault, always have been, so when they turned on Kurt, he’d see through any play they tried—showing up at his doorstep or wherever the fuck he’s hiding, they’d get nothing but a door slammed in their faces.
Me, though? I can play it differently, lie my ass off, twist the story until Kurt opens up, spills the truth.
It’s risky as hell, something we should leave to the professionals, but sitting here, waiting, watching Noah fray at the edges—it’s not an option.
Not after seeing him tonight, his headache worse, his neck twisting right just to hear us, like Kurt’s still tearing him apart piece by piece.
I pat the table, breaking the silence. “I’m gonna say goodbye to Noah,” I say, pushing my chair back, the legs scraping loud against the floor.
Logan’s eyes narrow as Sebastian sits up straighter. “You’re coming back,” Logan tells me, leaving no room for argument.
“Of course I am, but that doesn’t mean right away. If things go south, I’ll be wrapped up in all this. Look, Noah isn’t the only one feeling a little lost, alright?” My voice cracks and I turn away, heading for the stairs before they can say more.
I push Noah’s door open, the room dark except for the faint glow from the streetlight sneaking through the blinds.
He’s curled on the bed, the blanket tangled around his legs, his breathing uneven, his gaze focused on me as if he hadn’t been sleeping.
Unable to help myself, I cross the room and drag him into a deep kiss.
His lips meet mine and I taste the exhaustion on him, the weight he’s been carrying.
I sink into it, my hand cupping his jaw, holding him there, needing this before I go.
He pulls back, just enough to breathe, his voice shaky.
“The ringing stopped.” I start to smile, relief flickering, but then he adds, “But I can’t hear anything in that ear.
Just barely.” His eyes search mine, fear running through his expression.
My stomach drops, and I brush my thumb across his cheek, trying to offer the comfort he so desperately needs.
“We’ll get you to the doctor,” I offer. “Figure out what we can do. Whatever happens, we’ll be right there with you.”
He snorts, a weak laugh, before kissing me back. “Is that why you came up alone? No, I get it. We all want this shit over with.” His breath fans my lips, the desire to take more than just a few kisses growing.
I sigh against his mouth, resting my forehead on his. “I just needed a moment with you before I left.” My voice cracks and I hate how small it sounds, how much I need him right now.
“A moment isn’t enough, Declan,” he murmurs, his hand sliding to my neck, pulling me closer. “I want to feel you.”
I nod, no hesitation between us as I kick off my boots, my jacket hitting the floor with a soft thud.
I peel my shirt over my head, the cool air prickling my skin, and turn to him, my hands finding the hem of his shirt, lifting it slow.
He shifts, letting me tug it off, and I trace my fingers down his chest, feeling the heat of him and the way he shivers under my touch.
Pulling the sheet off of him, I start on his pants, keeping my gaze locked with his. I take my time, caressing him and kissing him until he’s merely putty in my hands.
The mattress dips as I climb onto it, my lips finding his neck as I kiss a path down his jaw, his collarbone, tasting the salt lingering on his skin.
His fingers dig into my shoulders as I move over him, my body pressing against his, every touch a quiet claim.
Slowly, he relaxes beneath me, the tension melting under me, and I keep it tender, rocking us together, my hands framing his face, my breath mingling with his.
The world narrows to this —just us, the heat, the way he clings to me, soft sounds slipping from his lips that I swallow with every kiss.
It’s slow, consuming, and I pour everything into it, every ounce of love, every fear I can’t say. As much as I want to be inside him, this erotic dance of us against each other, holding each other is exactly what I need.
He arches, his fingers digging into my back, and I hold him as he rocks himself against me, my lips brushing his ear, his cheek, until he’s curling into my chest, clinging to me like I won’t return.
I ease beside him, pulling the blanket over us, my arm draping across his waist, and mumble against his shoulder, “I love you.” My voice is rough, scratching my throat but truer words have never been spoken.
Noah grins up at me, his hands now splayed across my chest. “I love you too.” A pause, then, “Maybe it’s too fast, but it feels right.
” His voice fades a little, his jaw pulling tight, no doubt the headache a little worse than before.
“Next time, I want you to make love to me, Declan. I want you to take me and make me yours. Completely.”
“Next time will be sooner than you think, Bunny.”
***
I didn’t mean to fall asleep but having Noah plastered against me, his head tucked beneath my chin is everything.
He fits so perfectly here, in a way that makes me want to stay but we only have so much time to figure this shit out.
In another day or two, I won’t be able to get my hands on Kurt—not physically anyway.
And I want him to feel real pain before he’s stolen away by the system.
I shift, careful not to wake him, and press a kiss to his forehead.
He doesn’t stir, just sighs in his sleep, and I slip out from under him, knowing that it’s now or never.
The charges that come with what I’m about to do will be worth it—if I get caught.
And if I don’t, I’ll be back here, maybe a little worse for wear but will have dealt the justice all of us so desperately need.
A quick shower and last night’s clothes are all I have time for before I head downstairs, the murmur of voices drifting from the kitchen.
Logan and Sebastian are at the table, hunched over coffee mugs, expressions darker than they were last night.
It’s some early hour in the morning, faint light peeking through the windows.
I lean against the doorway, crossing my arms, realizing that neither of them probably slept.
“If I’m not back in two days, call the police,” I say, my voice cutting through their quiet.
Sebastian looks up, his brow furrowing. “Where are you going?”
I tap my pocket, where my phone sits. “You’ve got the tracking software, but don’t turn it on unless you have to. Plausible deniability and all that bullshit.”
He grins, leaning back. “Smartass.”
Logan snorts, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m kind of mad to be missing all the fun.”
I smirk, but it’s tight, edged with the weight of what’s coming.
“I have a feeling someone might try to waltz their ass back in here. Stay on guard.” I nod at them, trusting them to hold this down, and turn for the door, grabbing my keys off the counter.
There’s no goodbyes, no heavy words, just silence as I leave because I’m coming back.
There’s no need for formalities.
And yet, I still worry that either my anger will get the better of me or that I’m leaving my buddies and Noah wide open for something much worse than any of us could think of. I head for the next town over, knowing that I have to be far away from the guys to make any of this work.
Once I’ve put enough distance between us, I bring up his number, praying that this stupid plan will actually work. The phone rings three times and then Kurt’s sharp voice crackles through. “What the fuck could you possibly want?”
I sigh, keeping my eyes on the road before I find a small convenience shop parking lot to pull into.
“You were right; your brother’s a waste of time.
I’m sorry I ever doubted you. That voicemail?
How the fuck could he do that to you?” I keep my voice rough, layered with fake regret, and picture his smug face, eating it up.
He hums, a low, suspicious sound. “You’re in love with my brother, Declan. I’ve never known you to stick your neck out for someone and yet you protected him from me. Care to explain that?”
“Seriously? First off, at the time, he was still your little brother to me. Also, Noah’s fickle. He’d have found a way to play the victim, get you in trouble…”
Kurt bursts out laughing. “I’m not saying I don’t believe you but you’ve said so many soft words regarding Noah. I found you more than once in the same room with him and the others. Declan, it’s going to take a bit more than that.”
I figured as much but it’s a good thing I can lie on my feet.
It’s a great thing that Kurt will be dumb enough to believe it.
Heaving out a sigh, I lean back in my chair, hoping he can catch on to the weariness in my voice.
It’s a true emotion but not for the reason he thinks.
“Look, we’ve all made mistakes in our time.
They’re my best friends, brothers from another mother bullshit.
We’ve known each other longer and it’s been a habit to peel off with them.
Noah was just around, collateral damage, I guess?
” Those words feel like ash in my mouth but there’s no other way for me to have Kurt believe me.
"The other two are in love. He’s a great hole to fuck.
Now, what are we doing to clear your name?
” I bite the words out, selling the lie with every ounce I’ve got.
Silence stretches between us as I wait for Kurt to concede.
It never takes much because he can’t fathom someone not choosing him over everyone else.
“I knew you’d come around eventually,” Kurt says, his tone shifting, smug now.
“Meet me at Sunshine Motel, alone. We’ve got a bunch of shit to catch up on.
” The line goes dead and I toss the phone onto the passenger seat, muttering to myself, “As self-centered as that bastard is, he truly thinks the world revolves around him. I have no idea how his operation survived as long as it did.”
The plan’s simple—play the loyal dog again, lie through my teeth, get him to spill something I can use.
Risky as hell, but sitting around, waiting for lawyers or cops, won’t cut it.
Not when Noah’s breaking, not when Kurt’s still out there, free, fucking with us.
The town fades behind me, the road narrowing, as the motel’s faded sign reveals itself ahead, its neon buzzing weak in the morning gray.
My phone vibrates as I slip from the car, a mere ‘Room 212’ sent from an unknown number. “I guess we’re doing this,” I mutter to myself.