26. Chapter 26
Maryn
Vera turned me around, yanking my stays.
“I can’t breathe.”
“If you can talk, you can breathe.” Vera eyed me in the vanity mirror. “I have something that will help.”
I pressed my palms into the wall as the trial resurfaced in my mind. The doctor’s pen scratching. Calden Charles. I exhaled hard and blamed the stays.
She gave another sharp tug and tied a massive white bow behind my back. Sliding my unbound hair over a shoulder, she wrapped a slip of blue silk around my throat, tying it.
“Vera.” I shook my head.
She came around to stand in front of me.
“I had to do something to distract from your nails.”
“I’m wearing gloves.”
“We’re in the Center. These sharks smell blood. They don’t need to see it.”
She reached into the V in her dress, pulling out a small glass vial and dipping a long, manicured nail into it. Lifting the powder to her nose, she inhaled sharply.
I frowned when she held out a fingernail full of the substance to me.
“Take it. All the Elite girls did tonight.”
“I’ve had enough drugs in my system.” I held up a hand.
Her raven eyebrow shot up. “You think you can get through tonight without something to help?”
I swallowed.
“You know what. Fuck it.” She tipped her nose to her nail, snorting the powder again. “I don’t care what you do with your life. But don’t cry to me about those purple circles next week when the nation watches the Monday recap.”
I blew out a breath. “Okay.”
A rare grin tipped her lips, and she dug her nail into the vial.
***
I stepped out of the car and stared up. In front of me, endless steel stretched up, obscuring a black sky.
The inner wall loomed above us, and at its base, Covenant Security Headquarters.
Each inhale strained against my tight bodice. The drug Vera had given me worked wonders for my senses. Every sour odor and sweet perfume sat heavy on my tongue. Tiny specks of dust on coats and stray hairs snagged my focus. Voices reverberated off my eardrums, pounding in time with my pulse.
Even on a gray night that promised acid rain, small details were painfully clear.
Had the Cannons used this drug to eavesdrop, to lurk in the halls of our Rite house at night?
“There you are, Maryn.”
I spun around, heart in my throat.
Elias reached for my hand, lifting it to his lips. Warmth wrapped around me, sliding down my arm and resting comfortably in my chest.
I dipped into a curtsey, lowering my gaze. In this state, it was a challenge to school my face into neutrality. At any moment, he would grab my arm, escort me from the room, and name me tonight’s eliminated match.
My gaze lifted to his; Elias’s eyes burned into me, demanding answers.
I had none.
I had failed.
“Elias… Mr. Hale.”
His grip tightened around my fingers. “I have a surprise for you.”
I straightened just as a body barreled into me. “Maryn!”
I wrapped my arms around my best friend, squeezing, my heart banging against my ribs. “Ruth? Is it really you?”
She released me, backing up. I took her in. Her cheeks were flushed, her hair styled for a Center ball. For a moment, I forgot where I was. I forgot the trial and all that was at stake if I lost. For a heartbeat, I was a girl seeing her best friend again after weeks alone in the Center.
My gaze shot to Elias.
“I… Thank you.”
The words had barely left my mouth before Ruth slid her arm through mine, dragging me through the doors to Security Headquarters.
Inside, the space had been cleared of desks, and low lights hung from the ceiling. But my focus was on my friend. “How are you here?”
Ruth tugged us forward, and I glanced over my shoulder at Elias, trailing behind us.
We stopped beside the punch table, and I turned, wrapping Ruth in another hug as I buried my face in her hair. “I missed you.”
She wrapped her arms around my waist. “Me too.”
A tear slid down my cheek. All at once, the last sixty hours crashed over me. I held Ruth at arm’s length, inspecting her. Her eyes were clear, no dark circles. She had just completed Trial Four, but unlike Elite Rites, she wouldn’t be moving into the Center next. She would remain in the Middle.
What I would have given to be able to go home each night, to hug my mom and dad at the end of a trial. But my fate was destined to be very different from Ruth’s.
“Tell me everything,” I said, ladling punch into a cup for Ruth.
“Where do I even start?” She took the cup.
“Last week was my final week at the bureau.
Oh. But before I left, Corrine disappeared.
Just—gone. A few weeks ago. There was all this talk for a week, nobody would say what about, and then nothing.
No one's seen her since. I keep thinking about how she used to say—”
“Excuse me.”
Ruth backed up, and I turned toward Elias.
He looked at Ruth, never glancing my way. “May I borrow Maryn a moment? I promise to return her in one piece.”
Ruth’s cheeks flushed pink, and she nodded.
Elias took my hand, and my heart was back in my throat, making it hard to breathe.
We crossed a room rapidly filling with guests. My head swam; it might have been the lack of sleep or the stomach only filled with a handful of crackers, but it was more likely that it was my uncertain fate.
We reached the wall, a set of metal doors blocking our path, and I spun to face Elias.
“Please, Elias.” His brow furrowed, but I barreled on. “If you’re going to eliminate me tonight, please don’t make me wait. Just let me leave now.”
Elias’s free hand found my chin, tipping it up until I stared into his bright blue eyes. “I only wanted to show you the view before anyone else.”
I stared at him.
“Because I know how afraid of heights you are.”
My mouth opened.
“The view is worth it. I would be heartbroken if you said no.”
“What?”
His hand fell away from my chin. “Maryn, I want to show you the view outside the wall. It’s why the ball was held in Security Headquarters.”
I nodded dumbly, and he pushed the door open. We stepped into a cramped room, and I glanced around. “There’s no chaperone.”
“Only two people fit.”
“But.”
Elias laid a hand on my arm, and I jolted. His hand fell away, giving me space. “I can call one to stand at the bottom of the stairs, if you prefer.”
I nodded, unable to meet his eyes.
He backed up in the cramped space, stepping through the door and in moments, he had returned with a woman in gray by his side.
“You’ll have to climb up,” he said.
I swallowed, staring up into the dark space.
“I’ll go after you to ensure you’re steady.”
I met his eyes, searching them before nodding.
Wrapping a hand around cold metal, I set my shoe on the bottom bar, grateful that Vera had given me flat shoes tonight. I reached up for the next bar and stepped up with my other foot at the same time.
“You’re doing great,” Elias said.
The sudden urge to shout at him, to tell him I wasn’t doing great, that I was surviving on the drugs in my bloodstream and nothing more, was all-consuming. My grip tightened on the bar, and I hefted myself up.
When I’d repeated the process half a dozen times, my heart rattled my ribcage. I closed my eyes, swallowing slowly.
Warm fingers brushed my ankle.
I didn’t look down.
I lifted one foot. Then the other.
My arms curled around the bars as I pulled myself up.
Air filtered into my lungs in short bursts, and the room swayed, but I hugged the bar to my chest. One arm. Then the other. One foot. Which foot? The left one.
“Two more,” Elias whispered. “It will be worth it. I promise.”
This must be my punishment for speaking another man’s name. But surely if he wanted to torture me, he wasn’t ready to be rid of me yet. He couldn’t be that cruel. The thought lightened the weight pressing on my shoulders, and I tipped sideways onto the floor, not caring if it ruined my gown.
I’d understood the construction the moment the ladder came into view. Vera was some sort of oracle, dressing me in a gown that split down the middle like men’s pants, and I swore to myself that I’d kiss her next time I saw her… If I saw her again.
I pulled my knees to my chest, and Elias climbed the last rung behind me, sitting cross-legged on the floor beside me.
Blinking, I peeked up from under my lashes. He wasn’t laughing at me, wasn’t even smiling. He watched me as though I was a wild bird who might flee this cage at any moment.
When my breathing was mostly under control, I thrust my shoulders back.
“If you don’t want to look, we can go back down.”
I lifted my chin. “This is another test, isn’t it?”
Elias’s brows drew together, his mouth pressing into a flat line. “No, Maryn.”
“I can say no?”
I watched him carefully.
“Of course.” He held out a hand. “No one has to know if you don’t want to look.”
I stared at his outstretched hand. “I failed the trial. I know I did.”
His jaw tightened. “You didn’t come in last.”
A strangled cry burst from my lips, and I pressed my fingers over my mouth.
Elias slid closer. “May I?” he asked, lifting his arms.
I nodded, unable to hold back the tears.
His arms came around me, and I leaned into his warmth.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed against my hair. “I’m sorry you thought this was a test.”
His arms were the safest place I’d been since entering the Center. I stayed in them longer than I should have.
An unearthly sound tore from my chest, and I gasped, trying desperately to get a hold of myself. He squeezed me tighter, my shoulders shaking.
“It will get better. I promise,” he whispered against my hair.
I nodded into his arm, my forehead tucked into the crook.
When we’d sat like that longer than was allowed for an unmarried pair, I lifted my head, meeting his gaze. “Is my makeup messed up?”
Elias lifted a hand. “Do you mind?” He shifted closer.
I leaned into his touch.
The pad of his finger traced a line under my eyes. He repeated the action under my left eye.
Sitting back, he inspected my face. “Good as new.”
I blew out a breath, and the hair on his forehead shuddered in response. “Thank you.”
His hand was up, finger tracing a dried tear on my cheek without asking permission this time. “Don’t. Don’t thank me. You’re forced to go through these trials because of me. For me.”
My heart gave a sluggish, involuntary tug. Could he mean it?
“Ready to go down?”
I stilled, nodding once.
As we descended, each rung was another step toward the ground, toward safety, and I took my first full breath when I felt solid earth beneath my feet.
I stood for a moment in the cramped space at the bottom of the ladder, one hand still on the metal. Something had shifted between us. Something I couldn’t name yet.
***
Ruth found me the moment we re-entered the ball, tugging me into a powder room. She pulled a small compact disc from a pocket and dusted my cheeks, my forehead, my chin. “Maryn, you’re so red.”
I grimaced, staring at my flushed cheeks in the mirror.
“I have to get out there.”
She nodded as a cloud of powder enveloped us.
I stood beside Nami, and she wrapped her hand in mine.
For the first time since entering this Rite, I wasn’t nervous.
It might have been the lack of sleep or Elias’s gentle affirmations, but tonight, even though I’d said the one thing that should have sealed my fate, my heart didn’t race when Elias stepped into the middle of the room to announce the results of Trial Seven.
He called Beth forward.
He bent, offering her words of consolation, but at that moment, a collective buzzing rang around the room.
I looked down, but there was nothing on my tablet. Elias and all the guards in black were reading something in silence. When Elias looked up, his face was pale.
I pressed my hand flat against my stomach.
He didn’t look my way as he and a dozen men rushed from the room.
Beth was left standing alone at the center.